Welcome to Season 6 of Vanderpump Rules! We begin with lots of drama at Scheana’s birthday party. I mean, does the girl throw any other kind of party? Before anyone has a chance to get trashed, drama ensues when Jax is accused of cheating on his girlfriend, Kentucky Brittany. If this is true, Brittany threatens to move out and take the dogs with her. Ruh-roh!
But let’s back it up a few days, shall we? Jax is happy to have reached the two-year mark with Brittany. He says he’s mostly happy because Brittany has finally gotten her ass off the couch and is hitting the gym. You know, Jax could stand to hit the gym, too. Just saying. Onto Scheana who is in like such a good place, y’all. Like things are like really great with Rob, like now that she’s ditched Shay. Fun fact: Rob is the last guy she slept with and the first guy she slept with before and after Shay. And as soon as the divorce is final, Scheana can like marry and divorce Rob, too.
The biggest thing going on with Ariana is her new, short haircut. Boyfriend Tom Sandoval likes it so much, he’s pleasured himself four or five times now – but most likely he’s thinking of his bestie Tom Schwartz. The two Tom’s are trying to raise $100K each to go into the bar business with Lisa and Ken. The bar will be called Tom-Tom which is kind of dumb-dumb.
Things are not good between Scheana and Katie right now. Just last season, Scheana was in Katie’s wedding, but Scheana has now decided they aren’t friends anymore. While at work, Scheana tells Katie not to come to her birthday party because she’s not invited. So there.
Across the restaurant, Sandoval is having a powwow with Ariana about how he’s going to be Billy-Bad-Ass and stand up to Ken and Lisa. As Ariana cheers Tom on, saying, “Yeah, you’re not an incompetent twit” Ken and Lisa are seated nearby and hear the entire exchange. Do the words hot mic mean anything to you, you incompetent twit?
Next we join Stassi in her new West Hollywood apartment that doesn’t have central air-conditioning. Uh-oh. Will she melt? Nah, she’s too cold. Bestie Katie stops by to put together the portable AC and tells Stassi she wasn’t invited to Scheana’s birthday party. Stassi cackles because she’s not invited either. Stassi shares with Katie that things are better than ever between her and Patrick, and if nothing else, their seven month break made the sex better – and that’s what matters most.
Over at James’ pad, he and his bff Logan are recounting how many times they’ve been banned from Pump. James’ girlfriend Raquel returns from school to spend the summer in LA. The two make out while Logan looks on dreamily and is finally told to beat it get the hell out.
The Tom’s are checking out the new digs for Tom-Tom which looks like the homes in Houston after Hurricane Harvey. Here’s what Sandoval envisions. Comfort-bility. Familiararity. Nostal-gee-a. Jiggered-out drinks. And sexy TV’s. WTF? Thank goodness Lisa has a different plan. She wants romantic industrial which you know will include at least three shades of pink. Sandoval is driving Lisa crazy with his excessive questions while Schwartz plays the role of the silent partner. Lisa brings up the conversation she overheard at SUR and Sandoval accuses Lisa of purposely hiding. Are you kidding me, Tom? And here I thought you were the smart one. Guess I got that wrong. Lisa announces she is now rethinking the entire business deal and walks out. Ken follows, carrying her purse.
Onto Jax and Brittany’s new place, which is conveniently down the hall from Katie and Schwartz. Jax and Brittany have had a tough summer and didn’t exactly Take Kentucky, but Jax promises Brittany there will be no more mess-ups and he loves her big time. I guess he means, starting now.
Stassi is hanging out at Katie and Tom’s place and is surprised to learn Tom’s going to Scheana’s party without Katie. WTF, Tom? How can you pick Scheana’s lame birthday party over your wife? And then I remember he’s married to Katie, and it’s like, oh sure, go have fun. Jax walks in for a beer and asks what Stassi and Katie will be doing since they aren’t invited to Scheana’s party. Their plan is to get wasted.
Scheana’s boyfriend Rob arrives at her apartment before the party. After Scheana kicked out her ex-husband, she turned the master bedroom into her closet and the closet into her bedroom because obviously. She warns Rob to watch out for Lisa’s grilling because she’s soooo protective of her. (Insert eye roll here.)
Drama warning! As Sandoval and Ariana get ready for the party, he tells her that Faith told a friend she’s been sleeping with Jax. Oh, snap! Arianna tells Tom to get to the bottom of it quickly because she’s contractually obligated to tell Brittany. So after the birthday girl makes her entrance at the party, Sandoval has a sit down with Jax about Faith. Jax denies it. No shock there.
On the other side of the bar, James spots a sad and pouty Faith. She tells James “it happened so fast” which is not a compliment. Faith explains that while she was taking care of a 95 year-old woman, (eww) Jax licked her toes, didn’t wear a condom, they did the dirty, and she could be preggers. James is freaking out with this hot tea and dying to tell someone, anyone, even though he told Faith he wouldn’t.
Meanwhile, Jesse, another SURver, breaks the news to Brittany. She takes a poll and asks those standing near her if they believe Jax slept with Faith. 100% believe it. No shock there. Schwartz tells Brittany he will always cover for Jax, but rest assured, he is not covering for him now – which means we can’t believe a word coming out of his mouth. Jax then confronts Faith and they each say, “Are you serious?” to each other.
Jax finds Brittany to tell her it’s not true. Chaos ensues and Brittany tells Jax if she finds out it is true, be prepared for a Kentucky ass-whooping! Woo-hoo! Can’t wait.
Tune in next week to see if Brittany kicks Jax to the curb and if Scheana will stop throwing parties for herself.