Yolanda Hadid is spilling more tea in her new memoir, Believe Me: My Battle with the Invisibility of Lyme Disease.
According to the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills starlet, she contemplated suicide while battling lyme disease. Yolanda routinely experimented with many unconventional treatments and her condition worsened as a result.
“The antibiotics that I thought would be the answer to my prayers are actually making me so sick that I feel as if I am going to die. Even after months of treatment, I’m definitely not cured. Instead, I’m just desperately trying to hang on,” Hadid wrote. “I’ve become a shell of the vivacious and outgoing woman I used to be and can no longer participate in my life. I choose to live in a quiet cocoon isolated from the outside world, which is the exact opposite of what is required of me as a Housewife. I’m supposed to be this glamorous woman who lives a fun and exciting life, yet I can barely get dressed.”
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Yolanda, 53, actually took physical steps to try to end her life. Hadid describes how she seriously thought about it while swimming in the ocean during a Florida vacation with ex-husband David Foster.
“I take off my clothes and slip into the dark blue ocean, which is cool and comforting,” she writes in her book. “The waves gently wash over my naked body, and I can feel the current tugging at me. Tears pour out of my eyes, roll across my cheeks, and meld with the salt water as I try to still my mind to become one with the water’s ebb and flow.”
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As reported, Yolanda’s RHOBH co-stars doubted her sickly tales and her ex David, told her “Your sick card is up,” before moving out and filing for divorce. After being excessively absent from filming scenes, the ladies speculated whether she was actually suffering from an illness or it was in her head. But the Dutch native swears her condition is real and writes about asking God to take her life.
“God please just take me away in a wave. I can’t live like this one more day. Please carry my body away. I just want to disappear,” she recalls. “My next thought is a clear image of my three children. It shifts my consciousness immediately and that’s the only thing that keeps me from letting myself drift and drown.”
As a result of the former model’s alleged mental instability, it’s difficult to decipher if the events recounted in her book are factual or fantasy. Regardless, the memoir is set to hit shelves on September 12 and sounds like a juicy read.
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