#RHONY Finale Recap: Luann Is Happy Everyone Accepted Her Marriage Just Before Filing For Divorce!

Posted on Aug 10 2017 - 9:05am by BeachSpin

It’s time to wave goodbye to The Real Housewives of New York — and the last chapter begins in Carole’s place, where Bethenny has dropped in for a visit. Bethenny swelters in cat fumes, while jabbering about her ginormous new apartment. The pair reminisces about the most Bravo-fab trip ever executed or sponsored by any Housewife. Bravo rewinds a few of the Mexican memories, while Bethenny basks in her self-proclaimed success. They marvel over Tinsley scoring love with Scott, and wonder who will get lucky at Sonja’s place next.

We abruptly shifts gears, and in a likely last minute edit, Bravo plops viewers on a tennis court with the doomed Tom and Luann. The “honeymoon phase” scene is sad, especially when Luann elaborates on her overflowing heart, and spectacularly successful marriage. Tom tries to cheat — surprising no one. Luann is happy that everyone is finally accepting their relationship — just in time for their divorce.

We skip over to Sonja, who is busy shifting her furniture into a sexier formation. Sonja is happy that her french lover is home, and is clearly desperate to hang onto her dodgy dreamboat. Ramona stops over for a visit, and invites herself for a stay in Sonja’s guest room, hoping that the doll dust will bring luck to her love life. We hear that Tinsley has moved out, just in time to end the season in her own place. Ramona is thrilled to be back in Bethenny’s good graces, and is happy that the cast is living in harmony. Tinsley is throwing Sonja a girl-bye party, but Sonja questions her motives, and is still a bit deaf from her drunken screaming in Mexico. Ramona thinks that Tinsley is a selfish T-I, and Sonja doubts that Tinsley can even pull off the event.

Bethenny is hanging out in her new pad with a date, a cute, albeit toothless hockey player. Dorinda stops in the check out both, and is immediately mesmerized by the disappearing tooth gap. The ladies check out his extra-firm buttocks, before Bethenny launches her tour. Bethenny loves renovation, and plans to make the warehouse a spectacular home. We next get a looksie at Tinsley’s hotel apartment, just in time to overhear a few party details. Tinsley wants Sonja to feel her pissed-off, though sincere gratitude, so everything needs to be perfect. Carole arrives to check out the space, and deliver a re-gifted candle. They talk about Tinsley and Sonja’s bruised friendship, and how Sonja might not understand that the eff-off part was only a little true. We shift over to Dorinda’s place, where she is greeting John after a hard day’s work. Dorinda is happy that her daughter has vamoosed, and that she can entertain a man in peace. John gifts Dorinda with a ghostly gown, knocked off from Beyonce’s closet. Dorinda cringes at the bridal vibe, and most definitely does not want John to put a ring on it. Dorinda loves John, but loves freedom more. He has accomplished buying off Hannah’s love with free dry cleaning, which is a plus. 

Back in Carole’s neighborhood, Baby is inviting squeals of affirmation, by peeing on the sidewalk. Carole and Adam stroll along, as Carole crows about her domestic breakaway from the herb thrower. Carole and Adam’s relationship is better, but Carole feels her “most authentic” alone, in her cat sauna. Back at Hotel Tinsley, the hostess is getting primped while worrying about the curl-comeback party. Meanwhile, Sonja and Edgar are busy sorting underwear, and preparing for a low budget trip to Paris. Sonja has Rocco in the wings, but hopes that Edgar will emerge the winner. Scott coaches Tinsley off the societal ledge via a phone call — and the couple is already swapping “I love yous.” Sonja has some serious snuggling to do — so she might just pass on Tinsley’s duplicitous to-do. Tinsley arrives at the venue and everything is perfect — trimmed in Tinsley’s favorite color. The guests begin to arrive, and Scott thanks Carole, who is decked out in MC Hammer bottoms, for the love connection.

Dorinda arrives, rocking her last mini fur of the season. Tinsley and Carole discuss Sonja’s absence, and Dorinda weighs in, wondering why Tinsley would knock herself out for such an ungrateful backstabber. Tinsley introduces Scott, and Dorinda begins planning their wedding. Ramona makes her appearance, chattering to two tagalongs about Tinsley’s shady hostess maneuvers. Ramona spills that Sonja received Tinsley’s eff-off loud and clear, and that the bash is interrupting her cuddle time. Tinsley begins to panic as Bethenny arrives, while Ramona nags Sonja over the phone to get her butt over there.

Tinsley’s lookalike sis pops onto the scene, and Tom-whore, Missy, appears. Sonja finally shows, but knows that the party is really for Tinsley’s big city cred. Sonja is peeved, but perks up when she sees the booze. Sonja is impressed that the cake doesn’t have the F-word, but shades the liquor. Good time Harry takes a finale bow. Ramona meets Scott, and is impressed. She comes clean, admitting to Bethenny that she’s lonely, and that life feels weird single. She finally shows a real moment of vulnerability, and Bethenny encourages her to keep the faith. Ramona doesn’t want to “date to date,” and delivers an honest segment — on the very last episode.

Tom and Missy exchange sketchy murmurs, insinuating that they miss each other. The flirt-fest goes on with Luann singing the praises of married life in the foreground — their relationship in a Bravo nutshell.

In another corner, Sonja worries that Edgar might never return and make her his bride. Bethenny and Sonja bitch about Tinsley’s show-off shindig, and Bethenny gives Sonja top marks for not exposing Tinsley as a raging drunk. Luann’s son makes an appearance, and it’s nice to see her light up  with a man who truly loves her.  Tinsley throws her critics for a loop when she offers a sincere toast, and a kind thank you to her high-maintenance landlady. A generous gift card erases the bad times, and Tinsley tops it off by presenting a stunning photo of herself, elbowing Sonja out of the frame.

The classic cast wrap-up reveals that Tinsley and Scott are still an item, and Carole is planning to gallop in the NYC marathon. Bethenny’s real estate adventures are at a standstill, and Dorinda has made friends with her mirror. Luann loves love, but not dirty hounds like Tom. Ramona is lost but kinda likes her contractor, and Sonja remains torn between two lovers.

We are reunion bound! Buckle up!

 

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I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • GirlPlz

    The finale was anti-climatic, boring and felt scripted. The big hyped up Tom incident was a bunch of nothing.

  • GirlPlz

    What is with so many gay guys acting as straight in the HW franchises. is this Andy trying to give his favorite gays some airtime? The young male that Carole said slept with LuAnn is a typical gay barmen. Sonja’s fake French lover seems gay. Tom and the dry cleaner could be gay. Carole’s boyfriend seems gay. I don’t have anything against homosexuality. My argument is – it feels like boyfriends and relationships are scripted for storyline and that the HWs pay these men to act as their partners

    • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

      LoLoL … you have finely honed gaydar. There’s an affectionate term my people have for these women … hags.

      • Evil Queen

        RIGHT!😉

    • sunkissed748

      Haha! Conspiracy solved! That’s what is really going on. 🙂

  • Karoline

    Tinsley speaks and acts like a child. It is strange. Already saying ” I love you”?
    Sonja has completely lost her mind. What was she doing with the gift card?
    She won’t drink ” just anything” , but has no problem with brown ice at home. I can’t watch her anymore without cringing.

    • aemish

      I FF’d her and Ramona unless it’s something of interest with other cast members

    • Mental Iceberg 🏇

      Jesus, the brown ice.

  • GirlPlz

    Why was Bones being such a snitchy bitch? She couldn’t stop telling Sonja “this is an F you” party. She acts innocent but she is a shit-stirrer. Maybe she’s threatened by the new cute girl. Tinsley’s boyfriend is very cute and they are a cute couple

    • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

      I don’t think she’s at all threatened by (one-season wonder) Tinsley at all. She probably knew that this dull finale needed some spicing up and thought she’d get things going … but yes, it was a fail.

      • GirlPlz

        Total fail, when she was likeable during Mexixo

    • RonnieIsBack

      That bitter bag of bones metheny is EXTREMELY jealous of Tins. She is no longer bthe youngest on the show and Tins is prettier with old long money

    • GetReal2014

      That was messed up and unnecessary. Didn’t like Bethenny in this last episode.

  • bjeans1

    Is Carol broke or just to damn cheap to buy screens for her windows,Where did she find those pants she was wearing.

    • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

      I suspect she smells of weed and stale Charlie perfume (with a little bitterness and cat box thrown in).

      • Evil Queen

        😁! Charlie! Now there is a blast from the past! Can still picture that commercial in my head!

        • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

          “Wind Song stays on my, Wind Song stays on my, Wind Song stays on my mind~!!!” .. do dee doo de~ God we’re getting old … LoL

          • Evil Queen

            OMG! 😂 my alltime favorite ” I can bring home the bacon. Fry it up in a pan. Never forget your a man! “

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

          • Nunna Yobiz

            TY for the flashback! Used to watch “Sonny&Cher” every week. ALWAYS love the costuming.

          • Champagne Hangover

            CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!

          • aemish

            lol!!

      • aemish

        I imagine Carole more of a patchouli chick..

        • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

          Hahaha … I get nothing past you:-)

    • equinox2009

      That old couch looks like Carol made minimal redecorating by putting some black kinda fabric on the cushions! ??Black with cats and dog?? She must be broke. Bethanny looked a little skeeved when she came in and had to sit on the couch😕😕

  • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

    Just when I begin to pay this one some compliments, they give us a completely pointless and stupid “finale”. These lazy producers need to be deported!

  • Bryan

    I liked the finale

  • Mental Iceberg 🏇

    “If we all had done acid, we couldn’t have had a better trip”. Holy smokes, for a split second I actually found Bethenny charming. Wait a second. What’s going on here?

    And that apartment? Off the charts.

  • Evil Queen

    Bethenny’s description of Carol’s “puss pad,” was funny! Bet it reeked like amonia!

    • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

      That is the only thing I don’t miss since losing my baby … *sniffle sniffle

      • Evil Queen

        Sorry.😢. How old?

        • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

          16 1/2 … was healthy as a kitten up until he got sick. Suddenly he started moaning one day and wouldn’t eat or drink, so by the 4th day we had to give him the gift of relief. We still suspect he was poisoned (by a homophobic neighbor).

          • Nunna Yobiz

            Sorry for your loss. Horrible that people can’t just leave each other alone to live in peace. Had a neighbor convinced I was a witch once, and killed my cat for it. So cowardly and sad, and the innocent beings are the ones who suffered in both our cases. Please know most people wouldn’t do such a cruel thing. It’s hard to not become bitter, but if you do, they “win”. TC. {{hugz}}

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            I have no proof, but just a few months before, I got into a fight with the neighbor over him trying to cut down (public) trees … cops called etc; and he started screaming the F word at me (in front of the cop) which obviously didn’t go down well. We’re very straight appearing, and don’t exactly have rainbow flags waving, but I guess 2 guys living together raises brows. Anyway, till this day he drives by and flips both of us the bird, so he’s obviously still harboring serious hate. We let our cat our every night, so he had plenty of opportunity to do him harm.

          • the underground train

            What a miserable SOB. If he did anything to your cat karma will get him. I can’t understand why people are so affected by other people’s sexual orientation or preferences.

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            Miserable SOB is right … he lunged at me several times until the (really cute) cop finally wrestled him to the ground and cuffed him, then told me to go inside. Later the cop said PLEASE call us if he steps one foot on your lawn, because it will be my pleasure to arrest him. Several months later I’m talking to a lady cop on the force (a lesbian) and was telling her about the situation, and she said she was well aware of what went down; then added that the (cute) cop is gay. LoL. So my psycho neighbor repeatedly calling me a faggot did him no favors. Who knew that the token (Conservative) Mo’s on the block (with a Trump sign in the yard) were such a threat to civilization. Hahaha

          • LuxLuxLux

            omg that’s awful, I’m so sorry

          • Evil Queen

            OMG! That breaks my heart!
            We lost our baby at 16.5 too!
            With our baby, she had arthritis. Then diabetes kicked in. Next wk. Gift of relief. 😢

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            It’s possible it was cancer, or the dreaded feline leukemia … we’ll never know for sure. I hated having to put a monetary value on him, but it would have been $500 just to start lab tests, and then she told us the treatment (that might not even work) could easily reach the thou$and$, so at 16 1/2 yrs. of age, we were urged to let him go. I just couldn’t do it and sat at the vet clinic for hours (crying like a baby) until the vet took my hands and said “Give him the gift of relief and let him go” … so I did. On my way out, one of the techs who just lost hers too said to me “We love our pets so much, we tend to humanize them … he is just a cat and he has no concept of death or missing you”. It sounds cold, but it actually smacked me into reality and helped me.

  • Carole will be GALLOPING in marathon LMAO

    • colleen

      I missed the metaphor first read, now can’t stop laughing. Good one Beach Spin

  • Misha

    I liked the finale although I thought Sonja’s carry on with the gift card was cringe worthy. I’m also glad they bought on Tinsley this season. I quite like her. I think she’s sweet. Bethenny was more tolerable this time round which surprised me. I still think that Ramona is a douche and needs to be kicked to the curb. I do feel for Luann as I think she really just wanted to be in a happy marriage but I’m sure she’ll bounce back, better and happier without that stupid man in her life. His loss, not hers. Can’t wait for the reunion.

    • we”r”family

      From Sonja announcing her and Frenchie had just had a quickie before he dashed to the airport, to taking the gift card and rubbing it on her pearl was just too much.

      • Karoline

        Sonja is completely out of her mind!

  • Allergic2dumbstuff

    I had to do a double take.That above pic of Lu on the tennis court looked like Anfisa for a sec. 🙁
    #realityTVoverload

  • BetteDavisEyez1

    Carole is planning to gallop in the NYC marathon. LMAO!! Good one, Beach.
    Bethenny’s new space is huge. I would love to have a space like that to renovate. The hockey player wasn’t bad on the eyes.
    The finale was a bit of a snoozefest but I enjoyed this season overall.

  • LuxLuxLux

    I’ve never seen such a hot toothless guy. Gotta give Bones props for that!

    • the underground train

      Lol

  • colleen

    So much for any stability in Bren’s life. Mama B wants to move (again) and so it goes!