We are still in Hawaii with The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Phaedra and Kenya are on the tennis court, and the famous Williams’ sisters they are not. The two friends do not have a natural flow on the court, but at least things are going well off the court…for now anyway. About last night’s restoration revival, Phaedra concedes that #JesusCouldNotFixIt and nothing was accomplished.
Next up is Peter’s birthday breakfast with Cynthia. There will be #NoBirthdayBooty for Peter and this will be the last time they eat as husband and wife — unless they hook up down the line. Peter says, he almost called Cynthia last night for a booty call — but didn’t. Just when Peter can’t get any more depressed, he opens Cynthia’s gift. It’s a bible. Peter isn’t impressed. It’s like Cynthia is saying, “I’ll pray for you, but you also need to pray for you.” Peter says he feels like he failed as a husband. Cynthia explains she wasn’t a good wife, and proceeded to take the blame for the entire breakdown of their marriage. Cynthia vows to never marry again. #FamousLastWords
Tonight’s dinner should be fun. They crew is going to roast Peter for his birthday. Frick and Frack are dressed like they part-time at the Bunny Ranch in Vegas. Bob arrives and announces he can’t sit by Sheree due to the “flashback of hatred,” he experienced. When Sheree arrives she most definitely does not want to sit next to Bob. When asked how her day was, Sheree says she doesn’t want to talk about it while the men are present. Okay then. Bring on the Hawaiian dancers!
Kandi starts the roast by saying Peter is “so dark, you can’t see him at night.” Todd asks, “How did Peter get a woman like Cynthia — by borrowing money from her! Porsha asks Peter if he and Cynthia are going to hit it tonight, but Peter has the better snark and says — only if Porsha don’t get there first! Kenya tells the gang that Peter’s social security number is one. Phaedra tells Peter she wants to bury him every time she sees him. We learn Cynthia, like Phaedra, should never attempt comedy. She says nobody can brush their teeth like Peter. Bob gets up, and is also a disappointment. He tells Peter something like he knew Benjamin Franklin and thanked him for the lights. But at least he tried, Sheree wasn’t in a “joking mood.” Good news though, Peter blew out all the candles on his cake and didn’t pass out.
It’s the last night in Hawaii. Kenya is planning a surprise party for her Cynthia and Phaedra. It’s an Aloha Party because it means both hello and goodbye, and I do, I did, and I’m done. But before the girls’ party, the gang goes on a windy sunset cruise. Inside the catamaran, Bob and Sheree are having a moment. Bob apologizes, although he doesn’t know exactly what for. Bob learns, as he laughs, that it’s because he doesn’t take anything serious. Bob says, he’ll take the blame for being an ass, but claims he’s not that ass anymore. Besides, what’s a grown ass man supposed to do? Bob yells he’ll bleed if that’s what she wants. Sheree wants Bob to be remorseful about walking out on her and the kids. Outside, the rest of the crew can hear and analyze their relationship. They think everything will be okay, but they are wrong. Inside, Sheree is sobbing and has decided it’s over. Bob suggests they act like they are having fun.
Onto the divorce party for Cynthia and Sheree. What a flop! When Cynthia arrives, she isn’t happy about the party’s theme and is almost in tears. Elsewhere the men are drinking at the bar, and Peter isn’t feeling it either. Cynthia cuts off a “Bride to Be” sash because she remembers she never wants to get married again.
In walks Frick and Frack — and Frick doesn’t want any part of this party. She
pretends acts like she’s sick, even looks sick, and leaves to get some “ginger ale” which is code for Hennessy. After the girls play kiss the d*ck, Phaedra sends a text to Porsha to tell her she was appalled by the party. The text reads, “I’m good, but appalled that they would think that a break up of a family is a cause for celebration and with the host being the trifling woman who was texting my husband. Disgusting and disgraceful.”
In case you’re wondering, Phaedra just called Kenya — the woman she took to a Michigan girl’s camp to support her charity — a sneaky hoe. Cynthia says she gets not wanting the divorce party, but after everything they’d been through, why is Phaedra bringing up the lies from Apollo now? That was so five years ago? Flashbacks are shown of Apollo admitting he lied about Kenya, and Phaedra telling Kenya her slate had been wiped clean. Porsha leaves the divorce party to check on the party pooper, Phaedra. Porsha tells her when she read the text, “Dey mouths dropped.”
Ding dong! Here’s comes Kenya to get to the bottom of things and kicks out Porsha, who takes her big bottle of Hennessy with her. Phaedra, who is bedridden after the traumatic divorce party, explains she does not want to celebrate her children losing their father. Umm, excuse me, but didn’t her babies lose their daddy because he committed fraud and went to jail? Kenya tells Phaedra both she and Cynthia chose divorce. This pisses Phaedra off and she tells Kenya she was a contentious part in the breakdown of her marriage.
Harpo, who dis woman Phaedra — you ain’t right— and until you do right by Kenya, everything you touch will crumble! Alright, I got a little carried away there but you get my point. Kenya asks Phaedra, if she blames her and Phaedra says no, but still thinks Kenya is skanky.
Kenya tells Phaedra to get off her high horse and shoves the mock restoration service in her face. Kenya points out that the very person who is trying to bring women together in forgiveness is the one who can’t put things aside and forgive #SouthernBelleDown!
Serena Williams Kenya just backhanded Phaedra. Kenya calls Phaedra a hypocrite and Phaedra dismisses Kenya from her room.
Back at the divorce party — Porsha explains to the other girls that this whole divorce thing is new to Phaedra because the divorce just happened. The rest of the girls had no idea that Phaedra‘s divorce took place. The men folk join the women at the divorce party and Kandi recaps the Hawaiian vacation as having done nothing for their friendships, but at least Porsha admitted she’s a liar. Can we get an amen! And Peter had a great time even though he didn’t get any birthday booty.
Tune in next week, when we learn more about the “divorce,” between Phaedra and Apollo and Matt Jordan returns to serve up some more drama for Kenya.