‘RHOA’ Recap: Porsha Williams Outs Kandi Burruss As A Lesbian Hiding In The Closet!

Posted on Jan 2 2017 - 1:25am by Dani-K

It’s the first day of a bright new year, but things turned messy during Sunday night’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. With friends like these, who needs enemies? We begin with Cynthia, who is rejuvenating her boobs for a second time and for some reason thought she should invite all of the girls to her consultation. Kandi is not looking forward to seeing Phaedra after their non-dinner confrontation which just happened 24-hours ago. Kandi spills the tea on Phaedra for “dating” someone before Apollo entered the clink.

Then Phaedra shows up (last) and is sweet as apple pie, doing that thing where she cackles while sticking her tongue. The girls go back into the consult room and start playing with the implants like they’re taffy, and before the examination begins, Cynthia puts the doc on the spot to identify who has implants among the group. In a talking head Kandi tells us four of the girls have implants, not including her. The doc calls out Porsha, then calls out Kenya who denies it. Does she? Doesn’t she? I can’t tell because Phaedra is distracting me in her man-voice saying, “show me dem titties.” In the end, Cynthia decides to put off the boob job since she’s getting two other important lifts: a divorce and a new house.

Next Sheree is meeting with her interior designer at Chateau Sheree — which is naturally way behind schedule — no surprise here. The designer wants masculinity with a touch of femininity. Sheree doesn’t care as long as the furniture’s not from IKEA. So far Sheree is $100,000 over budget on furniture — no telling how much the actual house is over budget for. But mark this down in pencil, the housewarming party is in two months. In the meantime, Sheree hopes to “take a crap” in her house in five weeks.

Across town, Kandi is diamond earring shopping for Riley’s 14th birthday present. Mama Joyce is with her and also picking out things she wants Kandi to buy her. Kandi updates her mom on the Phaedra situation, and says she shaded Phaedra for shading her family. Mama Joyce warns that Phaedra had better be nice or she will feel her wrath. Anytime Mama Joyce is in a scene we feel her wrath. Meanwhile, Kandi isn’t being exactly honest with Riley about the “birth giver’s” reaching out story, but tells her from now on, Riley should contact Block directly and leave her out of it.

Noelle and Peter meet for a 90-minute hot yoga class because Cynthia says the two can have a relationship. Peter is having gastrointestinal troubles and thinks Noelle is trying to kill him. Afterwards, Peter tells Noelle how great she looks as the face of Cargo. Noelle expresses how hurt she was that Peter, as her second dad, hasn’t reached out to her. Peter explains that he was trying to respect Cynthia’s space. Noelle cries because she is caught in the middle and feels like nobody cares. They hug it out and Peter says he’ll visit her whenever he’s in Atlanta – which is more than he visited Cynthia.

Okay, brace yourselves for this next scene, y’all. Porsha and Shamea are doing the yoni egg. This is cray-cray, but it’s a semiprecious stone carved into the shape of an egg that you place in your vajayjay. According to Google, this isn’t new. It dates back 5,000 years to concubines, but Porsha thought this would be fun — almost as much fun as that colonics she had. Anyway, the yoni egg is supposed to help with fertility and increase your sex life. But get this, to remove the egg, you must squat like a chicken and lay the egg. Sheree is late and walks in on the ladies with their asses in the air. She’s like, say what? And passes on the egg because Aunt Flo is in town. Porsha is certain that Phaedra would love this egg shoved up her hoo-haw, and speaking of Phaedra, Sheree spills the tea that Kandi admitted Phaedra “dated” before Apollo went to prison, she even wanted to marry the guy. Shamea says that when she was married, Phaedra hit on her man. Porsha doesn’t like Phaedra‘s business being spread around town, like a hoe on holiday.

It’s birthday celebration time for Riley! They eat the cake straight out of the box and do some dabs. The first gift is the diamond earrings. The second gift is a blingy necklace. The gifts total $5K – for a 14 year-old. Riley announces that her dad, Block, called to say happy birthday and mentioned hanging out sometime. Riley wants her mom to go with her, but Kandi shuts that down. Todd asks his daughter Kaela what she thinks because she knows all about meeting an absentee dad later in life. Kaela recommends for that first time, Kandi go to help Riley be more comfortable #OutOfTheMouthsofBabes. Kandi tells Riley she’ll go. Mama Joyce says she’ll go but let’s wait on that — we may need her for the second meeting.

Now for the bombshell. Phaedra, Sheree, and Porsha meet for drinks. Porsha tells Phaedra how much fun she missed by not thrusting an egg into her hot pocket. Then they tell her what all Kandi said about her “dating” while married. Phaedra doesn’t understand why Kandi is so angry and has it out for her along with her “thugs she calls employees.” But here’s the real hot tea — Phaedra says Kandi is sleeping with, NOT only Todd, but with someone else — Lordt! Phaedra even demonstrates with her fingers what they are doing, but guess who the other person is – Shamea!!! The same girl who claimed Phaedra hit on her husband. Porsha, who is also a close friend of Shamea  seemingly cosigns Phaedra‘s bombshell tea about Shamea

It’s Zen time over at Cynthia new digs. She brings her mom and sister Malory to see her new lakefront home along with Noelle. Today is Cynthia’s six-year wedding anniversary so, pop the champagne cork! Cynthia tells her mom and sis that Peter and Noelle are forging their own way. Cheers to Cynthia’s rebirth.

Porsha decides to put her nose where it don’t belong and hold a meeting to stand up to Kandi, aka the ‘bully,’ for spreading lies. Her partner in crime is, Sheree. In walks an unsuspecting Kandi, but it doesn’t take long for her to figure out something’s up. Porsha and Sheree mention the gossip that Kandi has spread about Porsha sleeping with Block  back in the day. Then they mention Kandi’s trash talking about Phaedra “dating” another man before Apollo went to the pokey. Kandi is like — who cares — baby Ace got a third tooth. There’s some back and forth about who knew what about Phaedra, but Porsha won’t admit she knew about Mr. Chocolate. Sheree is just sitting there. Is anybody going to mention the ménage au trois Kandi is supposedly involved in? No. Kandi says goodbye walks out.

Porsha thinks Kandi is too defensive and doesn’t believe that Phaedra cheated on Apollo. Sheree wonders if Porsha is playing dumb about Phaedra “dating” another man or if she really is that dumb. Sources say: it’s a tie! Porsha drops a bombshell that Kandi is still in her closet. Things are about to get real messy, y’all. See you next week when Kandi‘s threesome drama explodes!

 

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About the Author

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run. For more information, please visit me at: Twitter* * Website* * Facebook*

  • WeCouldBeHeroes

    Porsha and Fraudra are messy dirty lying bitches.

    • GetReal2014

      They are the absolute worst people to ever be cast on a reality show. I wish they would go away.

      • WeCouldBeHeroes

        They need to be fired.

        • GetReal2014

          Pronto!

  • WeCouldBeHeroes

    Porsha thought she could play innocent and fool people – gurl you’re not bright enough. She knew about Fakedra’s affair and slept with Kandi’s baby daddy.
    It doesn’t get any better

    • GetReal2014

      Isn’t that something. The FOOL is trying to fool someone. Porsha’s as transparent as it gets.

      • WeCouldBeHeroes

        She is so dumb. I really can’t

        • GetReal2014

          Me either. She ticks me off to no end. I’ve never seen anyone this stupid.

  • BetteDavisEyez1

    How is Porsha putting her nose where it doesn’t belong?!? Kandi told Sheree that Porsha hooked up with her baby daddy & after her sit down with Phaedra, Kandi told anyone that would listen. Porsha was sticking up for her friend.
    If anything, Messy Joyce, Toad & the whole Krusty Koated Clique are the ones sticking their noses where they don’t belong. I mean come on now, Joyce showing up disguised as a broke ass Carmen San Diego was way too extreme.
    I loved when baby Ace practically climbed down Kandi’s back to get away from her toxic ass. Not even the baby wants anything to do with that thing.

    • NoFixinStupid

      You can’t fool dogs and kids….

      • BetteDavisEyez1

        Facts. I’ve heard that all of my life. You remember when Phaedra told Ayden say hi to MJ & you get a treat… that baby said I don’t want a treat. Hell-o!! LMAO!!

    • the underground train

      Lol @ krusty Koated and broke ass Carmen San Diego.

      • BetteDavisEyez1

        Hey, hey TUT!! You know I’m a fool. Here’s to you & the best New Year ever.

    • Sunflower

      Hi Bette…
      Happy New Year to you and yours…!!!

      Let’s stay fit, healthy, beautiful and not sweat the “Reality Stuff” too much this New Year.

      You already know that this RHOA CAST is re-negotiating their Big Money Contracts…. and laughing all the way to the Bank!!

      • BetteDavisEyez1

        Happy New Year, 🌻!! How were the slopes?
        I’m not keeping it cute. I’m going snarky all year long. Forget about negotiating their contracts. They should all get pink slips. Enough already.

        • Sunflower

          For a moment I read that… “you are not
          CUTE”..
          Hahahahaha…

          • BetteDavisEyez1

            I bet you did. BDE is the devil after all…(smile)

        • Sunflower

          Still dreaming about the slopes… bonfires and tranquility.
          Can’t do Christmas without Snow…
          Obsession…!

          • BetteDavisEyez1

            Glad you had a great time. I finally got my house back after a week of out of towners. Serenity Now!!

  • WeCouldBeHeroes

    Im glad Bravo is giving Phae the bad edit. She’s the lesbian, not Kandi. Look at her salivating of Cynthia’s titties.

    • Dani-K

      Yeah, I was kind of thinking the same thing too.

  • JC

    Phaedra had a hand in planning what Porsha would confront Kandi with at the luncheon with Sherrie. At the follow-up lunch with Phaedra, Sherrie and Porsha, I further believe Phaedra came pre-armed with intent to leak gossip regarding Kandi’s alleged three-some with her girlfriend and Todd to take focus off Kandi’s revelations about her pre-divorce dating habits. Kandi is more spontaneous in her revelations and Phaedra is more contrived. Phaedra is like the bad guy character, that hire incompetent henchman (Porsha) to do their dirty work. I wish Porsha would wake up soon, because some where down the line Phaedra will stab her in the back once she’s no longer useful.

    • WeCouldBeHeroes

      Fakedra is that girl. She is a dirty manipulative schemer.

    • delaney

      I see Kandi as the one that habitually uses others to do her dirty work. Her nasty mom, employees, the old hag gang and Toadstool Todd.

    • Marsbars09

      Hi JC! Your comment is spot on. But the thing is there is actual evidence that Fake was seeing someone before Apollo went to prison. And I think a lot of people have already known Fake had been seeing somebody.

  • Sugar in my tank

    Puhleeze, Porsha was exposed for helping Phaedra keep her lie a secret and she waited until Kandi exited to throw her jabs. The irony is that all these phony tricks called Kenya every name under the sun for a lie Apollo concocted for three years and now look…

    • Marsbars09

      Hi Sugar! Half of the cast are either whores or tricks.

      • Sugar in my tank

        Child, the majority of all the women from all the franchises fit that bill but Porsha, Phaedra, Kandi, Nene damn near the entire cast accused Kenya and slowly but surely, they are all getting their payback storylines..

    • WeCouldBeHeroes

      I didn’t even think of that. She’s such a coward

  • Darris

    This episode was soooo juicy. I’m team Kandi all the way. Phaedra violated her trust long ago and stayed slandering Todd last season. Kandi grew tired of it and let her built up frustration loose this season.

  • Marsbars09

    This season is being reduced to the sexual escapades of the women. That’s how boring these women are. If Bravo can’t do better they need to revamp and recast.

    • the underground train

      Exactly!

  • Sunflower

    Another great Recap… all the TEA spilled in superb writing and playing itself out on Television.

    It’s a helluva start of the New Year!
    Need to purchase a “popcorn and soda” machine…. and oh wait…
    3D Goggles!

    • Dani-K

      Thanks Sunflower! Happy New Year to you!

  • Sammie

    Thank you @DaniK for a great recap.. I can’t waste time watching this mess, but I love snarking on it.. They all should have kept their secrets off of TV.. Shots were fired and the firework is going to be a big messy ass showdown..Hell seems like everyone is sleeping with everyone and their partner.. Joyceless should stay out of this mess, because Kandi don’t want no one telling or talking about Joyceless, then she should STFU, Kandi is a grown ass woman, who runs and tell her mother everything.. Joyceless is going to run up on the wrong person one day, and it won’t be nice.. Her reputation isn’t all that good either..

    • Dani-K

      HI Sammie – things are about to get real nasty with these ladies. I don’t know if it’s true and Kandi or if they are just really reaching for a storyline this season. But thanks for reading!

      • Trippinhhard

        I love your recaps DaniK

        • Dani-K

          Thank you Trippin 😘

          • Trippinhhard

            You are more than welcome, it makes me feel like I’m watching the show..
            I don’t watch none of the HWS, I await the recaps on here..HappybNew Years to you and your family.l

  • Salty Margaritas

    Phaedra married one of her felons and has two children by him; is a miserable toady who needs the show to pretend she is a “single” mom. Nope. Porcha (who is literally a sportscar who lets anyone get a ride) is literally a pass along patty and one who should never point a finger; pretty soon her filth will come out. Sheree, well she’s just broke and will do anything to get stage time.
    Phaedra is a filthy swine, and looks like one, to use Kandi for a storyline. So what if Kandi does whatever she does in her private life? So what if Todd seems to cosign on it? But God forbid if anyone talk about Phaedra’s nasty background of criminals and losers. Or anyone talk about Porsha basically being a hooker. God forbid!

    • Sunflower

      Totally agree…
      Strange that Kandi’s sex life is so intriguing to soo many.
      All the sex-obsessed stories about Kandi… and now Todd… are hearsay.
      Porsha and Phaedra especially seem very intrigued with Kandi’s bedroom antics.
      Phaedra – the lawyer – showing the finger-sex-sign on National T.V is off her rocker.
      This woman has some serious daddy-issues!

  • Sunflower

    Kandi’s New Blog is a good one pointing out the lies and inconsistencies in the stories of Phaedra and Porsha.
    Kandi is calling them… “Geppetto” and “Pinocchio”….
    Perfect!!

  • therealjanedoe

    Love this re-cap. I can hear someone saying it as I read and it makes it even funnier!