14 ‘Real Housewives’ Christmas Wish Lists Fans Can Relate To!

Posted on Dec 24 2016 - 9:50am by BeachSpin

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!

Tis’ the season of giving, and Bravo ‘Housewives’ across the land are dropping hints — pointing loved ones in the direction of their ultimate gift.

What would you like to see sit atop the following Housewives’ wish-lists? Consider these top picks!

1. Teresa Giudice 

A shred of remorse

2. Jacqueline Laurita 

An eternal break from Teresa Giudice

3. Shannon Beador

A new shtick and David’s passwords

4. Kelly Dodd

Renewed resolve to shut down Tamra Judge

5. Lisa Vanderpump

A grandchild!

6. Lisa Rinna

Fifteen pounds and a gag

7. Kyle Richards

Size acceptance

8. Dorit Kemsley

One accent, any accent

9. Kenya Moore

A better man-picker

10. Phaedra Parks

A lie detector test and accountability 

11. Bethenny Frankel

The ability to give just one Tiny Tim f*ck about another human being

12. Ramona Singer

Her colorful “turtle timing” personality back

13. Sonja Morgan

Her dream hunk, and hot water all year round

14. Luann de Lesseps

A murky yellow New Years kiss — to kick off a lifetime of wedded bliss!

Sound off in the comments! Creativity and snark are encouraged!

 

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About the Author

I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

  • TartLemon

    My wish list of HWs I wish would GO AWAY (not complete, just off the top of my head)

    Teresa
    Vicki
    LuAnn
    Kelly
    Eileen
    Kenya

    • Sandy Wood

      Hi Tart, have you got room on your list for most of the HW from Potomac. I am etiquetted to death by them.

    • Tart — wishing you the best during this joyful season. I hope your holidays are filled with plenty of merry enjoyment.❤️

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Merry Christmas all my fellow AATT posters and staff. You guys here are the best.

    • Marsbars09

      You too reality!

      • RealitytvJunkie

        Thank you Marsie.

    • Perturbed

      You too Reality – love your comments!🙏🎄❤️

  • Sandy Wood

    * MERRY CHRISTMAS * HAPPY HANUKKAH * JOYFUL KWANZAA *

    Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, may it be blessed, blissful and safe.

    • Marsbars09

      Happy Holidays to you too Sandy! Thank you for being there for me whenever I need someone to hear me out! 🙂

      • Sandy Wood

        Same to you Mars, and all the posters who make me laugh along and those who we don’t always agree with that cause me to stop and think.

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Merry Christmas Sandy. Love your great comments.

      • Sandy Wood

        Merry Merry to you too RtV…we seem to be on the same ~~wavelength~~. :)))

    • Perturbed

      Enjoy your holiday Sandy!🙏🎄❤️

      • Sandy Wood

        Here’s to you and yours Perturbed!!!

    • Sending love and plenty of Christmas cheer to you and your family. Merry Christmas! 🎄❤️

      • Sandy Wood

        Thank you Seuss…hope your day was lovely and I am looking forward to more of your wit and wisdom next year. Cheers.

    • Why is this happening to us?

      Happy Holidays, Sandy! 🎄🎁

  • Marsbars09

    I concur with numbers 1, 6 and 11. On that note, I wish my AATT family and staff a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa and any other holiday I might have missed. I look forward to snarking and reading great articles in the new year.

    • Perturbed

      Same to you Marsie! Those 3 are my favorites too! Gotta love Beach’ snark! Hahaha!🙏🎄❤️

  • Marsbars09

    Happy Hanukkah to any of the posters and staff who observe it!

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Happy holidays (whatever you celebrate) to you Marsie and family.

    • My dear Marsie! Sending you lots of love ❤️ this Christmas season. May your holiday be merry and bright as well as the rest of your days. Sending you lots of love this Christmas season. ***Hugs***

      • Marsbars09

        Thank you Doc. I wish you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas and blessed new year. Best wishes to you always! (((HUGS)))

  • Birdie

    Merry Christmas all! ⭐️ I am sure industrial strength earplugs are on the top of DavidDavid’s list.

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Merry Christmas to one of my favorites posters. Birdie, you have been the source of many laughs for me. Thank you and have a wonderful holiday.

      • Birdie

        Back at you GF! Your comments ROCK. Have a fab holiday!!

    • Perturbed

      Have a great holiday Birdie! 🙏🎄❤️

      • Birdie

        Thank u Perturbed…Merry Christmas! ⭐️ 🎄

    • Love you, Birdie but you already know this! Thank you for being you. ❤️❤️❤️

  • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark
    • Perturbed

      You too Enigma! I actually watched part of this last night! There’s nothing like hearing Boris Karloff singing the Grinch song to bring back my earliest Christmas memories! Except maybe Charlie Brown!🙏🎄❤️

      • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

        I missed them both, and Rudolph and Frosty too. But fortunately we don’t have don’t have to wait to see them on TV anymore! Maybe they will get me in the Christmas spirit, because for whatever reason I have NONE this year:-(

        • sideof Sour Cream

          Just saw “The Year Without a Santa Claus” again this year. Hadn’t seen it in a LONG time. It’s really the best, I recommend it if you can find it.

        • Perturbed

          Aww, don’t feel badly. I wasn’t really feeling the spirit either, but I just think: as long as we have food in our stomachs & a roof over our heads, we’re better off than so many less fortunate! Plus, we have Internet access to our friends here at AATT! God Bless! 🙏

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            It’s so true – we are fortunate here, and globally speaking, our individual problems in life seem so petty. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

        • Sending Christmas hugs & kisses 💋 💋 💋 to a great guy, who provides much cheer to many here. I wish you peace of the season and spirit of love.❤️🎄❤️

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            Aw thanks Dr. Suess! You guys are my fambly:-)

          • YES, we are! 😘

      • Lindarsmith

        Google is paying 97$ per hour! Work for few hours and have longer with friends & family! !mj91d:
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $8752 this last four weeks.. Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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        Go to the site and Click Home Tab for More Info And Details……..

    • sideof Sour Cream

      I’m snagging this one $nark! (I’ll consider it a Christmas present from you to me 😉

      • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

        Be my guest sweetie! How’s the hubby doing?

        • sideof Sour Cream

          SO much better! Thanks for asking. He was actually able to take a shower today, and for sure that was a festivus miracle!

          • MidwestMiddie

            Oh my ……… I’ve been off and unable to keep up with everyone.
            Shoot! I had no idea you and your hubby were going through
            an awful time. HUGS! And MORE HUGS with TONS OF HOPEFULNESS.

          • sideof Sour Cream

            Thanks Middie,
            yeah, I really didn’t tell anyone actually until it was over. And I mean anyone , everyone, not even family.
            We are doing great now ,
            thanks so much for the concern. It means more than you will ever know!

            🙂

          • MidwestMiddie

            Always – All the BEST!

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            I was thinking about how you said your babies sense your husband’s pain and it reminded me of my sister’s white lab “Emmy” who had a similar (canine) problem, the dreaded hip dysplasia. Our friend Laura Ingraham (yeah that one) told us about the (then experimental) procedure that completely removes the ball joint and simply sews the leg back on (only muscles and tendons) holding it on. They had it done when she was only about 2 yrs. old (when some vets recommended they just ‘put her down’). She had a problem-free life from then on making it all the way to almost 14! I know hip dysplasia is common in GR’s too, so maybe in a weird way, they could relate to your hubby’s issue:-)

    • Hahahahaha! Merry Christmas sweetie! xo

    • Evil Queen

      Exactly. ” Christ.”

      • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

        I threw that in for my hubby, the real Christian in this duo (I already know I’m going to hell). But all joking aside, it is the reason for the season (no matter how certain people want to trivialize it).

        • Evil Queen

          Merry Christmas! U crack me up.Jesus is the reason. My opinion is then u should be at work.Do hope u,& your hubby had a magical day!
          Watching Lucy Christmas special.
          Having flashbacks of my childhood.

          • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

            He’s at home in Michigan and here I sit (with a serious hangover … dodging repeated texts from the family (who I’m currently estranged from). I don’t mean to be a vengeful bitch on this blessed day … but well ya know. But I will admit, I am missing a mouth watering Christmas dinner:-( My sister really does it up.

          • Evil Queen

            Happy New Year! Hope u r OK? Just got around to viewing old texts. Back home from my parents. Father had surgery. So Christmas was very busy for me. Now I’m back home with the hubby.
            Hope u ,& ur hubby have a great New Year’s Eve,& New Year.
            Staying in. No plans. Loving it.
            Xoxo

    • Why is this happening to us?

      Merry Christmas! 🎄🎁
      Hope Santa was good to you and that you didn’t get any coal in your stocking! 😊

      • AnEnigmaWrappedIn$nark

        … and same to you my sweet! Glad the stress and anxiety of “the day” is over. I’ve always much preferred these days between Christmas and New Years.

        • Why is this happening to us?

          Thank you! Same here…now it’s time to relax and enjoy New Year’s! (No shopping, wrapping or cooking required!- My favorite kind of holiday! lol)

  • DaisyD

    Merry Christmas ! Hope everyone has a blessed holiday 🎅🎄🎁😘😘

    • Marsbars09

      You too Daisy!

    • Perturbed

      God Bless, Daisy! 🙏🎄❤️

    • 😘😘 DAISY!!!! May you and your family feel the love, peace, and joy that come with the spirit of Christmas.

    • Why is this happening to us?

      Merry Christmas, Sugar! 😘😘
      Buon Natale! 🎄🎁

  • Merry Christmas all my lovely AATT family. xoxoxox🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

    • Marsbars09

      Same to you Doc!

    • Perturbed

      You too Seuss!😘🎄❤️

      • My apologies Perturbed. Wishing you a belated merry Christmas. Hope Santa treated you and the family well. 😘

  • Evil Queen

    Merry Christmas Eve Y’all !
    Beach, You crack me up! List is everything.
    Hope 🎅 is wonderful to everyone.
    Xoxo

    • Same to you, EQ! ❤️

      • Evil Queen

        U too. 😊

    • Marsbars09

      Merry Christmas EQ! I enjoy reading your posts. Here’s looking forward to a new year of shark. 😀

      • Evil Queen

        Merry Christmas! Thank u. Appreciate that. Hope Santa was good too u.😊

  • JrzShoreLady

    Great wish list! Couldn’t agree more.

  • MidwestMiddie

    HO-HO-HO and MERRY CHRISTMAS!
    Wishing everyone a very special holiday.
    Time for bed ……… Santa is on his way!!!!! : )

    • sideof Sour Cream

      Merry Christmas Middie.
      as you know, I am enamored by your wit and tenacious SMARTNESS.
      best to you and yours,
      love,
      soSC. <3

      • MidwestMiddie

        It is finally here! : )
        MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours, sideof Sour Cream.
        I’m the first one up and enjoying my first bowl of coffee while eyeing one
        of my Swedish Coffee Cakes. Oh, the temptations!
        Oh, the Glogg! One year my mother-in-law made such a potent batch
        of this holiday cheer – ALL of the beautiful plants in her kitchen died from
        the fumes. Not Kidding! : )
        I can hear the noise of big and little feet as well as giggles. Holiday music.
        Looking forward to some quiet but not just yet. HA!
        All the best ………..

        • sideof Sour Cream

          Thanks Middie,
          best to you and all that but,
          WHAT IS GLOGG???

          I have a feeling I need to make some?? (or drink some?)

          why…….
          lol,
          Merry Christmas MidwestMiddie. We go back a long way, huh?
          love you sweetheart and we have each others’ backs all the time. Isn’t that weird?
          heart, heart, heart,
          I’m already drunk drunk drunk on eggnog. gonna be a long day.,……
          well the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and if you’ve no place to go, let it snow let it snow let it snow………

          • MidwestMiddie

            We bottle our glogg ( “glook” ) and on Christmas Eve drink last year’s brew.
            My husband’s family believes long, slow, low heat simmering ( No Boil ) is the preferred way to prepare the beverage. It’s a combination of red wine, Swedish Acquavit, sugar, crushed Allspice berries, crushed whole Cardamon pods, Mace, crushed Nutmeg balls and whole Cinnamon Sticks., etc. Various fruits and almonds are added – seedless raisins, prunes, etc.. It is a family recipe – the translation – it is the whole Scandinavian Sink — a single toast once a year will keep cobwebs away for the entire year. Guaranteed!
            Eggnog sounds delicious and safe for today ……….. I’ll let you know. : )

    • Why is this happening to us?

      Merry Christmas to you and yours, MM! Enjoy!🎄

      • sideof Sour Cream

        To you and yours Why, a very merry Christmas.
        Whether you know it or not—you are a BRIGHT LIGHT in my life. thank you, and bless you , you are smart, smart smart, and wise.

        • SideofSC –Wishing you the best during this joyful season. I hope your holidays are filled with festivities and plenty of merry enjoyment. Lots of love, Doc!

          • sideof Sour Cream

            Oh Seuss! We haven’t talked for so long—I miss your wit

            You are a top notch gal in my book, for sure, Merry Christmas , Happy New year–now and forever.

            all my love,
            side <3

          • You’re a class act. This precious comment made my day. Thank you! xoxoxoxoxo

        • Why is this happening to us?

          Merry Christmas SoSC! 🎄🎁
          Aww thank you! That is so sweet! ☺️ I feel the same way about you and all of our other good friends here at AATT. We have a nice group of posters here and it’s nice to see how considerate and respectful everyone is despite our differing opinions sometimes.
          Hope 2017 brings you good health, happpiness and all great things! Happy New Year too! Cheers! 😘🎊🎉🥂🍾

      • Why — Wishing you and your family a blessed and jolly Christmas! xoxo

        • Why is this happening to us?

          Merry Christmas Doc to you and your family! Hope Santa was good to everyone and I hope you are finally feeling better and were able to enjoy the holiday. Happy New Year too! Cheers! 😘🍾🥂🎄🎉🎊🎁

          PS- I tried posting a Merry Christmas post last night and I fell asleep while typing! Lol. Sorry I didn’t see your reply. ☺️

          • Hahaha no worries! I was exhausted last night and today. I wanted to catch some after Christmas sales but I’m staying in bed instead.

            Btw…thanks for asking. I feel a whole lot better now that I got on the right meds for that hacking cough. Thank the Lord.

          • Why is this happening to us?

            I totally understand. I still have my pj’s on too…lol. I do however need to go out and get something for dinner. I might just order in… ☺️
            I really love Christmas, but it is a little stressful, especially in NYC with all the traffic and hordes of people! I’m glad it’s over; everyone is happy and looking forward to ringing in the New Year! 🍾🥂

          • Why is this happening to us?

            Oh good! Glad to hear you are finally feeling better! I know there are lots of bugs going around. Take it easy! 😘

    • Merry Christmas Middie!

      • MidwestMiddie

        Merry Christmas to you too, Seuss, and Holiday Wishes to
        your lovely family. Enjoy!

    • Marsbars09

      Merry Christmas to you too, MM! I hope you have a wonderful day and even better new year.
      I always look forward to reading your comments because I know it will put a smile on my face and make my day better.

      • MidwestMiddie

        Happy/Merry Christmas to you, Mars.
        Tis the Season of Cooking, Baking, Calories and More Calories. YUM!
        Also, the time for quiet reflection to enjoy whoever and whatever is
        around you. My goofy cousin seems less goofy today. By tonight……..????
        Hope you’re having a wonderful time. : )

  • Kirsty Taylor

    Erika – A personality. Eileen – A sense of humour

  • Kirsty Taylor

    Merry Christmas from Scotland x

    • Marsbars09

      Merry Christmas to you too Kirsty!

  • Elizabeth Fisher

    From one of the greatest Christmas movies ever… Merry Christmas everyone!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0933ab0b73fe334be08cea5b2faffa8d7c5d82c50b2f7aafb1273636041329db.jpg

  • BeachSpin

    Merry Christmas AATT-ers! May your day be joyous and blessed. Hey it’s snowing!! ⛄️ 🎄🏂

    • MidwestMiddie

      Merry Christmas to you, Beach Spin!
      This snow is a real treat. I love it! All of the best to you and yours.

      • Sandy Wood

        Middie, I want you to know how much I have enjoyed commenting with you over the past. I really admire your ability to stand your ground without becoming unpleasant. You always come through with thought provoking comments and I am truly grateful. xo

    • sideof Sour Cream

      I want YOU to know on this day, Christmas, that YOU Beach Spin–bring a sense of togetherness to all of us that frequent this AATT blog.
      I am speaking for the group here, and I hope they don’t mind….
      But we appreciate you, and the goodness you bring to this forum each and every day.
      I get a little kick in my step every time I see a “Beach Spin” byline here, because I know you always tell it like it is. You are honest, you are such a great writer, Beach, you are a wordsmith.
      Especially with the Plygomy weirdness, you are a teacher bar none. And I thank you for that especially. I can assure you there are numerous readers here, that never comment–and I know if they had the hutzpah they would want to thank you over and over for calling out the cult de suck of the Browns.
      But more than that,
      I want to thank you for having the guts to share your talent with the world that reads this blog. That takes courage, and I for one, am in awe of it.

      God bless you Beach,
      love soSC.

      • Marsbars09

        That was really sweet of you to shower Beach with such generous praise. I think she is a great journalist. I truly enjoy reading her stories.

        • sideof Sour Cream

          Thanks Mars.
          & I really mean it about Beach. Her Snark is glorious!! It’s just the type of thing I like to read every now and again–especially applied to these RTV characters, because she is refreshingly honest.

        • Why is this happening to us?

          Happy Holidays, Mars! Hope you enjoyed it! 😘

          • Marsbars09

            Happy Holidays to you too Why! I’m glad we were able to touch base. I hope you had a wonderful day.

          • Why is this happening to us?

            Aww thanks Mars! I had a great Christmas day and a great time last night too. Glad it’s over! I feel relieved in a sense…lol.
            Hope you had a great weekend too!

      • BeachSpin

        Wow..I am truly touched SOSC..thank u so much. The appreciation goes both ways. You and other posters constantly amaze me with your feedback, and hilarious wit…you all “get” me, even my subtle nuances—it is nothing short of fantastic. I don’t call you all the “sharpest posters” for nothin’! I am very thankful for the freedom to write my honest thoughts—come what may…lol. Thanks again for making my day! 😊 Blessings. ❤️

      • Why is this happening to us?

        Brava SoSC! 👏🏻👏🏻 Well said! I agree with everything and couldn’t have said it better myself! 😄

      • This is such a beautiful post! You stated what many think of Beach….she’s simple amazing!!! Very well said.

    • Marsbars09

      Same to you Beach! Thank you so much for providing us great stories in which to comment. You are a great journalist. I look forward to reading more of your articles in the new year.

      • BeachSpin

        Thank u Mars for your steadfast support! 😘

    • Why is this happening to us?

      Merry Christmas, Beach! Enjoy! 😘

      • BeachSpin

        Hope your day was a wonderful one Why!

        • Why is this happening to us?

          Thank you! Had a great time! 🙂 Hope you did too!

  • Why is this happening to us?

    Merry Christmas 🎄🎁 and Happy Hanukkah ✡️🕎 to those who celebrate! Hope Santa was good to everyone and that you all enjoyed the holiday with your family and friends. ❤️
    (I started typing this post last night and then fell asleep before I could finish- oops! ☺️)
    Happy New Year too! 🎉🎊 Hope 2017 brings everyone good health, lots of happiness and love! Cheers! 🍾🥂

    • Sandy Wood

      Same to you Why…looking forward to more fun and snark with you for years to come.
      Stay happy and safe. xo

      • Why is this happening to us?

        Thanks Sandy! Here’s to a snark-tastic 2017! Cheers! 🥂 XO

  • Why is this happening to us?

    Attached is an oldie but goodie- I think I posted this same thing last year! lol. I’ll make it a tradition! ☺️
    Couldn’t attach to my other post for some reason…so here it is!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/735359a1577f98393c36c05fd7facb3a374ae01fb73220da7ba43aac74765ee7.jpg

    • Marsbars09

      Thanks for sharing Why! That caption and poem is a real crack up. 😅

      • Why is this happening to us?

        It’s cute! Lol 😹😹

  • Why is this happening to us?

    As far as the article goes, since when are Dorinda and The Felon BFF’s? They seem to be hanging out together a lot lately. It’s making me lose respect for Dorinda…I thought she was classier than that. Birds of a feather and all that…😏

  • Sandy Wood

    A heartfelt THANK YOU to you Beach, this is the first place I hit with morning coffee and the last place before bed. You have provided so much delicious snark and a safe place to vent over the foibles of these characters on our small screen.
    Cheers and Health to you and yours.

    • BeachSpin

      Always Sandy–and thank YOU–for being a faithful rock of fabulousness around here! 😘