We begin this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta at the tennis court with Cynthia and her daughter Noelle pretending they can play, but really it’s just a place for Cynthia to talk about her upcoming trip to Los Angeles. She’s launching a bag line to go with her eyewear and wants Noelle to be the face of the new line. Noelle also wants to look at colleges while she’s out there. Baby girl growing up so fast.
Over at Sheree’s condo, because Chateau Sheree still ain’t ready, she’s complaining how much money it costs to feed her two kids, Kairo and Kaleigh. It’s family meeting time. Sheree tells the kids the new house is almost ready. They’ve obviously been having this family meeting for years now. Turns out, when Chateau Sheree is finally complete, Kairo won’t even be living there because he’ll be getting an apartment near campus. Kaleigh will only be there for a year before she leaves for college as well. So glad Sheree built a 7,500 square foot house for herself. What about Bob, you ask? Pencil him in as a maybe. Sheree says that Bob has yet to apologize for his cheating ways.
Next we are with Kandi as she stops by with Ace to visit Mama Joyce at the house Kandi bought. Turns out, Mama Joyce doesn’t like to babysit Ace without getting paid. Normally, G-Ma’s don’t charge, but Mama Joyce is all about the Benjamin’s. Kandi gives her mom the 411 on the visit from her baby-daddy’s girlfriend. Mama Joyce wants Block to show her the money. Kandi says she ain’t focused on Block’s dead beat ass, she only cares about Riley. The two ladies cackle as they put a voodoo curse on Block, while Ace just chills out in his chair, already the coolest one in his family.
Phaedra and Kenya are hanging out again. What’s up with that, y’all? They discuss Porsha’s anger management, but sneaky Phaedra switches the topic to Kenya sassing Sheree. You see, the term bitch Kenya used to describe Sheree was only a generalization. But Phaedra is really there to discuss her foundation sponsoring an overnight camp for the children in Flint, Michigan, affected by the bad water crisis. Kenya is interested in helping the girls to be lady-like in public.
Across town, Sheree meets up with Bob for vegan cuisine. Sheree is all dressed up and Bob is all dressed down. Barely combed his hair. He’s trying to be all smooth and charming, but Sheree tells Bob she can’t move forward without an apology. So Bob says, “I’m sorry if I ever made you feel as if I put someone else ahead of you.” Really, Bob? That’s the best you got?
Sheree rejects this apology, so Bob tries again. “I’m sorry for the extra marital affairs. I did do some mean stuff and I’m sorry for subjecting you to an immature man, not ready to be a father to his children, but this is just a starting point.” Dayum! Now that’s an apology. Sheree accepts this one, but then Bob ruins the moment by telling Sheree how much he likes the glitter on her chest. They jointly decide to ditch the vegan food and go get some fried chicken. So, they’ve got that going for them.
Cynthia and Noelle are now in Los Angeles and it’s almost time to reveal Noelle as the face of Cargo. A nervous Cynthia tells a passive Noelle that all the top bloggers will be there and to be ready to handle the glare the press. Noelle seems bored and is dreaming of Nobu.
Back in the ATL, the other ladies arrive to do the laser tag thing. Phaedra explains there will be two teams, the black men and the police. I guess that’s supposed to be funny, but they should really be the bitches and the hoes, according to Sheree. What’s up with all the activities? Am I right? Why can’t the ladies go on boat rides and drink alcohol? Oh, right. Never mind. The women have fun shooting each other and Porsha has found her new anger management program.
Back in LA, Leon, Noelle’s dad, is there to support his girls. At the booth, the eyewear and bags are on display, but Noelle’s feet hurt so she sits down and checks her phone every two seconds. Cynthia tells Noelle that her feet hurt too, so put your dang phone down, and get this thing done. They unveil the giant poster with Noelle as the face of Cargo’s. It’s very cool. Noelle hugs her mom for this great opportunity and finally gets into her groove. Cynthia envisions her life as being bi-coastal, bitches.
After laser tag, Phaedra pitches her camp in Flint, Michigan, to the ladies and wants to have a pop up shop to sell their self-serving products with the proceeds going to her camp. Kenya has her water shampoo, Kandi has her sex toys, Porsha has her fake hair, and Sheree still has her leftover shirts that say, “Who’s gonna check me, Boo” to sell. Phaedra asks Kenya if she will be able to co-exist with Sheree. The short answer is, no, and the two proceed to argue while the rest of the ladies eat their hamburgers.
Sheree and Kenya go back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth with the shade. Don’t forget, Kenya is going to teach the Flint girls how to be a lady in public. Kenya says to Sheree, “You look stupid.” Sheree fires back, “No, you like stupid.” And it’s all fun and games until Kenya slams Sheree’s wig by comparing it to Mama Joyce’s. Kandi puts down her hamburger to tell the ladies not to bring her mama into this mess. Phaedra interrupts the fighting to remind the ladies this is about a charity event and not some damn house. The women agree to work together and co-exist, so what could possibly go wrong?
At dinner in Los Angeles, after Noelle leaves, Leon and Cynthia discuss grownup issues such as divorce. Cynthia explains she put a lot into the marriage with Peter and is sad that it’s ending. Leon tells Cynthia he thought the marriage was rushed and this makes Cynthia put her napkin over her face as she sobs. Leon points out that even their wedding day was filled with drama and flashbacks are shown of everyone telling Cynthia to call it off. Cynthia admits her plan to prove everyone wrong failed like one of Peter’s many business ventures. Cynthia wants her next chapter in life to have peace and says it may not include living in Atlanta. Dun, dun, dunnn.
To thank her mama for watching her grandson for one whole hour, Kandi takes Mama Joyce to get a manicure. On the car ride over, Mama Joyce confesses she’s now a wine drinker. Kandi tells her, “Oh no you ain’t.” Just imagine the reads a drunk Mama Joyce will give. Just then, Kandi receives a phone call from Blockhead. He wants the bad blood to stop so they can co-parent the right way, but says it with attitude. Mama Joyce is like, “Where’s the $50K?” And Kandi’s like, “You realize Riley’s 13 now.” Block says he’s been calling and calling, but no one’s been answering. Kandi’s like, you lie like a dirty rug. And Block’s like, I ain’t gonna chase no one.
Oh no he di’ent. Oh yes he did! Kandi reminds Block if he would have just done what he was supposed to do, and not been a dead-beat dad, they wouldn’t be having this conversation now. Kandi’s tired and hangs up on his crazy ass. Tears stream down her face as she tells Mama Joyce how Block be doing this every other year. Mama Joyce is like, “Tell it the courthouse,” which is code for, bring your damn checkbook, Block, since you keep bragging about being a millionaire. But here’s another idea, next time he calls, give Mama Joyce a bottle of moscato and let her deal with Block. Problem solved.
Tune in next week when a different crazy man wants to blow up Phaedra’s office with a grenade.