RECAP: Little Women LA — Briana’s Ride or Die Wedding [Season 4, Episode 12]

It’s a lovely day for a walk on Little Women: LA. Jasmine and Terra are walking and talking about how she’s doing post #glassgate. Terra cops to culpability in this mess, and how she shouldn’t have thrown the glass at Christy, but feels filing the police report was ridiculous. She wanted to apologize to Christy, but now she doesn’t.

Moving on to the problems with Briana, Terra is done with her, too and wishes Jasmine all the best being her maid of honor at the wedding hardly anyone is invited to. Jasmines tells Terra that Briana is very last minute with all of her plans and this is stressing her out. As for Briana’s parents, Jasmine doesn’t know if they will be there or not.

Briana and Elena are at Sue Wong’s for her final fitting. Elena doesn’t like the lace, mermaid style, but Sue Wong thinks Briana is adorable. Briana asks Elena if she likes it and Elena says, meh. What she means is the proportions are all wong – I mean wrong. Elena thinks Briana will look like a child playing dress-up when all is said and done. Briana confirms that she’s not inviting Terra, Tonya, Christy.

Christy is chatting with her mom about not knowing if she’s invited to the wedding. Briana was her maid of honor at her wedding, and she just poured her heart out too her last week in the parking lot after the disastrous line dancing, so what gives? Christy plans to call Briana and ask what color dress she should wear. Todd joins them and tells Christy he spoke with Matt, they are invited to the wedding, but it’s a surprise for Briana. Christy doesn’t want to be the surprise.

Tonya is visiting her doctor with Terra about her double vision. Good news, this can be corrected, but the doctors don’t agree on which surgery should go first, alignment or Lasik. Terra asks about Kerwin, Tonya’s on-again-off-again relationship for the past 16 years. She says they are about to have a come-to-Jesus conversation because he needs to make a decision. Terra doesn’t believe that Tonya will actually move on because she’s been putting up with his half-ass attention for so long. Tonya says she is going to shut the merry-go-round down.

Terra and Elena are at shopping for makeup, but it quickly changes to how insane Elena is for wanted to give birth naturally to her twins. The epidural is her friend, according to Terra. Elena plans on asking her doctor and Terra thinks her vagina will rip to her belly-button. Nice visual. My eyes are now bleeding.

It’s the day of the wedding and the final preps are being made. Briana has been married before and has even been married to Matt for a while, but she is glowing. Briana tells Jasmine that her friend Lisa who is a little person, will be walking her down the aisle. So much for the parents coming to the wedding. Next issue, Jasmine’s dress is black, it was supposed to be red. Jasmine was under the impression Briana changed the dress color from red to black, since the wedding is starting to resemble a funeral. Briana did not.

Tonya makes the call to Kerwin to tell him it’s time to make a decision. He doesn’t live in LA. Kerwin asks Tonya if she’s is in love with him. She says yes. Tonya asks Kerwin if he’s still with his girlfriend. He says no. They are now considered back in a relationship. Kerwin is Tonya’s one true love. Time will tell if he moves to LA.

Jasmine tries on her black bridesmaid dress, red heels, and cream-colored bedazzled head band. She looks like the Widow Jasmine. But this is what happens when you don’t pay attention to details. Hopefully this is the worst that can happen. Oops. Spoke to soon. There’s a knock at the door and it’s Christy.

When Christy asks if it’s okay she’s there, Briana says, “Umm, yeah. Sure.” But believe it or not, Christy is gracious and offers to get water or tea. (No tea in a white dress!) Briana is surprised Matt went behind her back and invited Christy and Todd, but she better get used to stuff like that. Jasmine is not feeling this new Christy and warns Briana about their future.

People are arriving to the wedding. Elena is shocked that Christy would not only show up, but bring three other people to eat the buffet. Elena tells her Christy she hopes she’s the only surprise guest. Christy is glad she brought so many people, who else was going to sit in these empty seats.

The bridal party is beautiful. Briana’s friend Lisa has a slightly prettier red dress on than the bride. A flashback is shown of happier/messier times of the happy couple, but today is a new day. When we get to the part where they say, does anyone object, speak now or forever hold your peace, five minutes later, nobody says nothing. Whew! They successfully exchange vows…again. Not sure if Matt said he fell in love with her butt first, at the other nuptials, but whatever.

Meanwhile Tonya and Terra are getting acupuncture to forget about the Ride or Die wedding. Tonya fills her in on her new status with Kerwin. Terra will believe it when she sees it. Now that Briana’s married, it’s time to trash someone else’s relationship, and Tonya is it. Terra says she would rather have 50 more needles shoved into than be at Briana’s wedding.

They show the first dance and it’s beyond awkward. Thank goodness it’s over and Christy and Elena go have a talk. Elena asks Christy if she turned off her phone. Christy says she needed a few days to call TMZ take care of herself. Elena pelts her with questions. Christy “can’t” talk about it. Elena asks how else does she expect to resolve this? Christy weeps fake tears and says “It was really hard. I thought I was going to die.” Oh, pah-leese!

Christy continues her weeping recount of wrong-doing, and how she had nothing to do with TMZ tracking her down. Elena wraps it up. As if on cue, the non-tears stop and Christy’s giggling, nature returns as they return to the reception.

Briana and Matt thank their few guests for coming near and far. It’s time for Christy to leave to preserve her head trauma, so she tells Todd she’s getting the car. Outside is a swarm of tabloid media (one) gets Christy fake-weeping all over again, as if she’s being stalked. Then she does a magic trick. She’s reaches into her boobs and pulls out car keys and disappears in her car. Ta-daa!

Tune in next week for the season finale!

 

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