RECAP: Real Housewives of New York — Bethenny Frankel Insults Jules Wainstein’s Size [Season 8, Episode 1]

Posted on Apr 7 2016 - 6:36am by BeachSpin

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I am going bi-coastal for a couple of weeks, and am so excited to be tackling my first season of The Real Housewives of New York! Bravo promises that my first romp in NYC will be CRAY CRAY—which is right up my alley! The premiere episode kicks off in Bethenny Frankel’s scrumptious pad, where we watch Dorinda Medley pop in for a visit. Bethenny is rocking a cute new do, as she takes Dorinda on a grand tour. The place is super vanilla-creamy, but indeed lovely. Her closet is meticulously organized, and snazzy. Little Brynn’s art saves the space from being an ice princess’s urban paradise. Dorinda brags about being on the wagon, while requesting a glass of wine.

Bethenny smiles and notes that she witnessed her radiantly sober skin knock back a few, during the off-season. Bethenny lets us know that due to the fact that waiting for a finalized divorce would land her as a senior citizen prowler, she is currently dating. The pair discuss an upcoming luncheon, and who to include on the guest list. A cast rookie is bantered about, a gal described as a tall, skinny, upper east sidey gal, named Jules. We learn that Carole and Adam are still an item, and have become sluggish and boring—as if everyone can’t tell just by looking at them. Adam is a bohemian herb tosser, probably in more ways than one. Dorinda warns Bethenny to not comment on Jules’ hubby’s shrimpy status, and they agree to pollute the rookie, straight away.

All About the Tea_real-housewives-of-new york-season 8

We catch up with the snoozy lovers, Carole and Adam, who are camera lens shopping, and cuddling their new dog, wait for it—a pup named “Baby.” Carole is having senior nesting urges, and a new puppy has been just the ticket. The puppy strangely looks like Carole, so I applaud her choice. Adam is traveling to Ethiopia, and Carole will miss all of the herbal pillow talk. Blech. We jump over to Ramona, who is vamping it up to hit the single’s scene. Mario is in the past, and Ramona is just waiting for her divorce to be final.

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We get a glimpse of Ramona in action, as Avery, along with a pal, arrive at the bar. Avery is a shocking 21 years old, and she and her mother are relating on a whole new level. Ramona can’t place Avery’s friend, and we are reminded of her daughter’s classic expression of utter disgust. Ramona’s first nuzzle-target buys her a drink—so Ramona ignores Avery’s grimacing raised eyebrow.

We catch up with Luann, who tells us that because of her kids being off at college, she has let go of her place in the city. Sonja’s daughter is away at boarding school, and she has offered Luann a place to crash, whenever she is in the city. Slumber party FUN!! The women chat about men, and Luann dishes about her downtown date, later in the evening. Sonja lays down the ‘no pirates in her kid’s bed’ rule, and Luann promises to try her best. They discuss their heritage, and we learn that Luann has Eskimo teeth, which inhibit her oral activity. Good to know.

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Ramona and Bethenny meet up, and they discuss Bethenny’s sexless existence, even though she is blessed with cooperative teeth. Bethenny dishes about seeing Luann and Sonja at a dinner, falling down drunk. Ramona has distanced herself from Sonja, because she doesn’t want to be associated with a tipsy gal, who tends to grope married men. The girls discuss Dorinda and John, and Bethenny muses that she likes Dorinda, when she doesn’t act like a tanked lunatic. Dorinda and John party like frat brothers, and Ramona adds that she thinks that Dorinda is a classier drunk than John. Both women believe that John is shady, and wish that Dorinda would drop the relationship sales pitches.

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Enter the newest Bravo New Yorker—Julianne Wainstein. We get our first glimpse of Jules and husband, Michael’s place, and meet Rio and Jagger, the couple’s young children. The kiddos are darling. Jules has a live in nanny, a woman named Ana, and a housekeeper. Jules shares that she is half Japanese, and her husband is Columbian. Michael arrives home, and we learn that he is a venture capitalist, who works in the same building. He is handsome, but appears to be vertically challenged. That being said, a secure personality will make such a trait disappear in my eyes—so fingers crossed! The couple once enjoyed a dazzling globetrotting schedule, until having kids ruined everything. The family enjoys a nice dinner of fried broccoli and popsicles.

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We jump to the party animals, Dorinda and John, who are having their monthly anniversary dinner. John proudly hands out a fiver to a man on the street, hoping that Bravo doesn’t cut the footage. Dorinda ditches her no drinking status, while she reminds us that John loves to grope, and she loves to shove him away. Her daughter, Hannah, still isn’t thrilled about John, but Hannah will be moving out soon, so Dorinda is contemplating living with her boozy, show-off lover. 

We get a look at Bethenny’s chic new office space, as she meets with her employees about shaking up her business strategies. Bethenny explains that she is still paying for her old apartment, because her divorce, like the bills, never end.

Carole and Ramona meet up, and homebody Carole is surprised by Ramona’s sexpot new look. Ramona fills her in, dishing about her hot new night life, infused with Jazz/Reggay, aka Reggae, musical influences. Professor Carole sets her straight, loftily amused by Ramona’s pronunciation and geographical struggles. She whips out the word “malapropism”—to convince us all that she’s a REAL writer. Carole masks her condescension with giggles, and it’s snotty and annoying.

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Carole shares that she’s been nesting, which explains her urban, dirty laundry look. Ramona goes out every night, and is clearly enjoying the single life. She explains that she was able to pay her dirty cheating husband off, in order to keep her NYC apartment, and her beloved home in the Hamptons. Good for her. Ramona shares that they knocked out the divorce in four months, and while she and Mario don’t speak, he maintains a healthy relationship with Avery. Ramona claims a more relaxed reality, but Carole isn’t so sure. What fun would that be? Ramona jabbers 90 mph, and it bugs Carole that no one is asking about the herb throwing, couch flopper. Ramona loves her own bubbly personality, but Carole thinks that she needs a tranquilizer, and a dictionary. 

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The luncheon is underway, and Bethenny and her plus one, Jon, join John and Dorinda. Jon reminds Dorinda of Jason, and Bethenny assures her that they are keeping things casual, especially because he isn’t well-hung,  anyway. Jules and Michael arrive, and Jules and Bethenny get reacquainted. Bethenny pummels the couple with questions before they can even take off their coats. Jules explains that she is a stay at home mom, and then defends her life choice, like she is in the debate of her life. We learn that the family maintains a kosher home, and Bethenny’s interest is piqued by the notion of meticulously separated dinnerware. Bethenny claims to be kinda Jewish—because she is a loaded complainer. Bethenny informs us that John has a sleazy dry cleaney vibe, but that Dorinda is a lot of fun.

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Bethenny spills about an upsetting incident in the Hamptons over the summer, involving the plastered couple. Dorinda is annoyed that she brought up her loudest incident of her fake sobriety. The two women turn their attention on Jules, who is attacking her index card sized meal. The pair proclaim Jules far too thin, and her husband far too short. Bethenny notes that due to her own skeleton status, so we should trust her when she says, that Jules is one skinny Jewish chick. 

All About the Tea_real-housewives-of-new york-season 8

Next week, the women continue to banter about John, and friendships are already loudly strained. See you next week!

 

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About the Author

I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • Sandy Wood

    Thanks so much Beach, my favorite franchise has returned and you captured the action beautifully…not easy to do as this group moves fast and furious.
    To get the party started, these are my impressions of first episode…
    Dorinda looks better than I remember, maybe a few nip and tucks, but still hanging with that uncouth lout.
    Julianne, I’ll reserve judgement, but her son reminds me of Alex and Simon’s boys.
    Carole is scary skinny, but her droll wit is intact.
    Ramona seems a little more together and as much fun as it was to watch her wackiness with Sonja, it’s probably healthier for both of them to not be quite so involved.
    Sonja seems just as zany, but more composed, if that’s possible.
    Luanne shocked me, wanting to use Sonja’s place as a crash pad and I hope Sonja has been able to restore hot water to the apartment…it would be embarrassing for a Countess to have daily showers at the YWCA.
    Bethenny is her brittle, brilliant self and I love her for it.

    • Jennymckitty

      Andy was talking about Sonja and LuAnn wearing fur coats in the house to keep warm.

      • Sandy Wood

        LOL…sounds like the norm for Sonja…they were probably sable not muskrat.

        • Jennymckitty

          He did a spoof last night comparing her house to Grey Gardens.

          • Sandy Wood

            Sounds right on…sorry I missed it.

      • RonnieRIB

        Grey Garden for real..Sonja is hella cheap.

    • I didn’t get why Luanne wanted to stay at Sonja’s. Julianne seems like a bubblehead. I’m judging right out of the chute. Dorinda does look better. She got a better haircut maybe? Not sure. Ramona looks good too. Carole looks terrible though. She has the harshest angles to her face and she’s boring as hell.

      • Sandy Wood

        This must have been filmed before Luann was involved with her fiancee…it just doesn’t make sense that she would want to stay at Sonja’s…surely she could afford a pied-a-terre for herself.

        • sideof Sour Cream

          She’s single and ready to mingle is how they are selling it. But we all know the real reason is this season camera time = $$$ for them, right? Weren’t their contracts renegotiated so that they are paid by performance time?
          I could be wrong but I’m pretty sure that’s what I read here awhile back.

          • Sandy Wood

            So maybe Luanne figures by teaming with Sonja it’s double camera time for both? hmm… interesting.

          • sideof Sour Cream

            I think they BOTH figure it. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually Sonja’s idea.

    • BeachSpin

      THANKS Sandy–it’s my FAVE too–so happy you’re going to hang with me! I agree about Bethenny—her brutal, snappy snark is unmatched!

    • Birdie

      YES–Dorinda did look better, I couldn’t put my finger on it. That is a good plastic surgeon, I’ll bet. Love Bethenny on the show– she lets the viewers truly see inside her world, and her true self.

  • Elizabeth Fisher

    Thanks for the recap… the irony that Bethenny would call someone else skinny.

    • Dukie

      That was disturbing to watch that scene. I was uncomfortable like um think she maybe needs to look @ herself. Not sure why B went there like that!

      • RonnieRIB

        Because the bish is jealous…plain and simple.

        • MidwestMiddie

          You were Spot-On with your, #BonesPlease! : )

      • Emilia 221

        I agree. I was wondering if she truly has body dysmorphia and does not see what we see when she looks in the mirror.

    • BeachSpin

      YW Elizabeth! It takes one skeleton to know another.

  • Jennymckitty

    Thanks, Beach .Great recap. I loved this episode. All the women are so eccentric that production driven drama isn’t necessary. It seems the theme of this season is John is horrible. I find him annoying so this won’t bother me one bit.

    • He must be good at something for Dorinda to keep him around …

      • Sandy Wood

        Dorinda is a messy eater, so she saves big time on drycleaning.

        • Mags

          She is Sandy….haha! She also talks with her mouth full of food!

        • RonnieRIB

          And she is just as trashy as he is…don’t let her diamonds fool you.

        • BeachSpin

          HAHAHAHA—TRUTH!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Jenny—IKR…agree 100%!

    • equinox2009

      John always looks like he needs to bathe, got that greasy look. Dorinda must be desperate to even consider keeping him around, yuck! He is way too touchy, ? sex addict. I wonder if he’s after her$$$!

      • Pandora403

        John allegedly has plenty of his own money. He also knows a lot of the who’s who in NYC. If you recall it was John who was invited to the Met Ball and he brought Dorinda as his guest. I’m sure they are of mutual benefit to one another.

  • Mags

    Great recap Beach Spin……thank you 😉

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks for reading Mags!

  • foxy in the VAULT 💩🐛🍋🍈🚿🔑🛌🏃😩

    Thanks Beach! I needed this recap because my mind still goes on automatic pause when motormouth is on. Looks like she will dominate the season again SMH.

    • MidwestMiddie

      Agree, Beach’s recap was excellent. I will not watch the show and after reading
      several reviews you nailed the domination factor. This is again Bethenny’s Show and
      the other women are pawns in Bethenny’s one hour SG Informercial. No Thanks!

  • foxy in the VAULT 💩🐛🍋🍈🚿🔑🛌🏃😩

    Perfect picture of Carole!

    • BeachSpin

      Her baby looks like his mommy –lol!

  • tapestry10

    Bethenny is a real self-hater. Her father is Jewish, so she makes cracks about Jews, and talks about “Jewish-looking girls” which is racist as hell. Some of her Jew slurs were bleeped out, like when she called another women “Jappy.” Then she expresses strength or bravery in terms of having “balls.” That’s real self-hatred. One of the ways women are stronger is by not having vulnerable hanging appendages. With all due respect, balls do not confer strength, they expose weakness–and women are lucky not to have them. And lastly, she makes a fortune selling women on the idea that they’re fat and need her “skinny” drinks, which pitches to making women feel uncomfortable in their own skins. At the same time as she looks anorexic she accuses other, thin women of having body problems. Bethenny is the whole self-hating package: her heritage, her body, her sex. If she were a man, she’d be Andy Cohen.

    • Bad Barbie

      This was perfect!!

      • tapestry10

        Thanks a lot, Bad Barbie.

    • RonnieRIB

      Preach!!!

      • tapestry10

        Thanks, RonnieRIB!

    • MidwestMiddie

      SNAP!!!

      • tapestry10

        If I knew how to do it, I’d post Nene doing the snap she does! Thanks, MM!

        • MidwestMiddie

          : )

        • Nick’s daughter

          Lol, I need a snap icon! But, I have that visual in my head, mmmhmmm😉!

          • tapestry10

            Nd, do you know how to post gifs?

          • Nick’s daughter

            No, sadly. I only posted one picture Ever (right side Up), my casserole.
            I think twi-/twi-fan and lots of Open Post folks/’Sippin Tea After Dark’ are the experts in that area…but I am sure we could ask ‘How to’ on Any Open Post. 😊

          • tapestry10

            You’re so sweet. And you’re right. Happy Friday evening Nd!

          • Nick’s daughter

            And so are you, my talented tapestry❣. My Dad was delighted to hear your poem 😏. Tonight, The Wizard of Oz is on. One of my All-time favorite movies! And, I played Dorothy – way back when I was in HS. SO, I know Every Word & every song, can’t resist whenever it comes on…*it’s a sing-along! I do the same thing w The Sound of Music!! 😉 lol.

    • Real housewives junkie

      Ouch! Harsh but thruthfull.

      • tapestry10

        thanks? I think? 😉

      • tapestry10

        You might want to read what blondiegal wrote above, also. Very insightful.

    • blondiegal

      You describe her just as I think she is. Well done. Why can’t someone just stand up to her and when she goes 100mph with her rude, intrusive questions just ignore her. Not being the center of attention is the definition of hell for her. I can picture her as a wrinkled old bitter single woman – complaining thru life

      • tapestry10

        Thanks, blondiegal. I think she knows that the only one on the franchise strong enough and clever enough to take her on is Carole, which is why she’s formed an alliance with her. Yours is a very insightful take: “Not being the center of attention is the definition of hell for her.” So true. So well observed. It answers the question: why would a woman with $100 million lower herself to become a HW, which no normal person would do? She’s already an old, bitter, single woman. The only thing missing are the wrinkles and she’ll never have any, because she’d take a steak knife to her own face before she’d let that happen. What Jason predicted for her has already happened: she’s become her mother.

    • BetteDavisEyez1

      Which is why Andy loves her so much. If he were a woman, he’d be Bethenny.

      • tapestry10

        You got that right, BDE!

  • Bad Barbie

    It’s ColOmbian! lol

    Is this even worth watching anymore?

    Bethany makes so many inappropriate comments about people. I am surprised she hasn’t gotten dragged before.

    • BeachSpin

      Such slips occur when you are typing hundreds, often thousands of words every day. I enjoy this franchise–so for me it is.

  • RonnieRIB

    Great recap Beach!

    Methenny needs to STOP LYING. That puffy jawed bish knows she had Bulimia for YEARS…bish even admitted it…now all of a sudden..it was only her mum….#BonesPlease She is jealous bc the new wife is smaller than she. #PhuckedUp

    The new lady doesn’t have anorexia..her hair would be phucked up and stringy (like Metheney’s for lack of nutrition – which is why she had no choice but to cut that chit)….She is extremely tall and naturally thin but I am sure she doesn’t drink as much as these heauxs..so she is smaller.

    I cannot wait to see Lu and Sonja slut it up…

    Ramona just looks desperate

    Annoying Carole is bored with her boy toy and his herbs…I’m just bored with Carole…

    Dorinda…just a drunken mess with her messy man. Reminds me of the Whitney Bobby Brown coupling. Everyone thought Whitney was too classy for Bobby..little did they know. Dorinda is a piece of work who married rich..but you can never wash a turd. John is in her league…

    Let the games begin

    • BeachSpin

      YEEEESSS! Thanks Ronnie!

    • blondiegal

      Love the name Methenny LOL

    • Emilia 221

      I think you are spot on about Dorinda and John.

      And LOL at you can’t wash a turd.

      • Aleggra

        LOL, tell Carole that she can’t wash a turd. I think she drinks turd juice out of a coffee cup. I don’t even want to think how she got that chit in the cup. Ew. Then she puts it on the counter? Carole thinks she’s just sooo hilarious. Grey Gardens hilarious. Did she forget that Hillary Clinton watches the show b/c of Dorinda? Carole didn’t look too happy when Dorinda said that. Dorinda stole her name -dropping habit 👺

    • tapestry10

      Great post. But I don’t get the Dorinda thing. She obviously hates him. Her daughter hates him. She seems constantly mortified by him. She slaps him down all the time. When he tries to come near her, she shrinks back in horror. So why is she with him?

      • Nick’s daughter

        I personally think Dorinda could do better, tapestry. She’s lovely except when she over-indulges in those 🍸 dirty martinis w nasty olive juice! I don’t believe they will Ever move in together, when her daughter moves out. He creeps me out, he’s all 👋👋 hands-on. I am a hugger-by nature, but would want that guy an arm’s length Away!

        • tapestry10

          at least! In the next room would be better! In the next block would be even better than that!

      • RonnieRIB

        M-O-N-E-Y.

        Think about it..if she was sooo wealthy and socially secure, when she adn The Beave – Carole- traveled to Europe she actually let her close “friends” tell her they hated her name and they were going to refer to her as someone else..who does that? I would have been like “it’s Britney Bish!”..but she just pooh poohed it and laughed off their smack down like she was low class, especially since her name was Dorinda…..Carole didn’t understand it either.

        Dorinda is a fake and phoney trying to make a comeup ….who loves the bottle…John knows it so he takes the chit she tosses bc when it is all said and done if she wants to keeps sporting expensive clothes to look the look…she needs him to “loan” them to her from his upscale dry cleaners.

        • tapestry10

          This is really funny–that he loans her the clothes from his dry cleaners. That was a Seinfeld plot! Interesting analysis. Ok so that’s what she gets out of it. But what does he get out of it? Publicity, I guess.

    • Aleggra

      Ron, love your #BonesPlease! So true. The B must think we don’t pay attention to her lies. Is she kidding? Her anorexia, bulimia or whatever ED she has, has been all over the net for years. This Joker-face psycho needs to keep track of what she says & invents.

  • sideof Sour Cream

    This show is so refreshing to me after the convoluted ugliness of BH this season.
    I’m glad I like Bethenny because she is literally in every other scene. If I didn’t enjoy her I’m sure I couldn’t watch this show.
    Jules seems like a weirdo, not because of her size but because of what she served her family for dinner, and the incessant playing with her hair in a restaurant.
    The R2D2 comment was AWFUL. (but I did laugh!)

    Funny re-cap Beach! Looking forward to your wit aimed at these loony NY lushes.

    • BeachSpin

      I agree! Thanks SOSC—I am excited about it!

    • Jennymckitty

      I totally agree, Side. I enjoy watching anyone who can make me laugh. The majority of these women do for various reasons. I probably wouldn’t want to hang out with all of them but they are great on my TV for an hour.

      • sideof Sour Cream

        EXACTLY Jenny !!! 🙂 Even Vicki, who I loathe, makes me chuckle occasionally (mostly because of Brianna calling her out on her shit). But characters like Yolanda and Kim Richards, imo have honest to god serious issues and because of that, I just can’t find them entertaining. Their behavior isn’t even sad or shocking, it’s ugly and immoral. They should not be filmed for our entertainment for any reason.

        • Aleggra

          I can’t believe Vickie will be back. I thought for sure she’d be gone forever :sigh:

          • sideof Sour Cream

            It’s such a bummer. 🙁
            Now she will probably feel even more annoyingly invincible. UGH.

    • Aleggra

      Amen to that! BH went over to the Dark Side. I can’t even watch the Reunion (but I might punish myself anyway) 👿

      • sideof Sour Cream

        I will need to be drunk. not “buzzed” : DRUNK. haha!

  • I know that’s right

    The only reason I can’t watch this show is because of the crypt keeper Bethsnny, can’t stomach her at all. She should be the last one talking about anyone’s weight.. She has starved her self to be thin.. She always talking shit, but whines whenever she get it back.. I’m happy Romona is moving on from her cheating ex husband.. Mario is disgusting and the only way a younger woman wants him, is his MONEY he received from Romona.

    • Aleggra

      Bethenny is lying about not having an eating disorder. She’s been outed with all of the other celebrities that also have one. She’s had an ED since she was in her teens.

      • I know that’s right

        IKR I remember reading that, she fake and thinks she funny, but she really disgusting, talking a mile a minute.. Then there’s addrell she taking, bec she too hyper and she’s sickening..

        • Aleggra

          Bethenny’s mouth goes non-stop. It’s sooo annoying. I wish someone would tell her to STFU. Heather tried to & look what happened (not that I miss that bossy, fake smile control freak).

          • I know that’s right

            They are both control freaks, but Bethanny thinks she hip and cool.. She just looks stupid and acts petty..

          • Aleggra

            Why is Bethenny back? From what I’ve read, maybe 2 people like her plus Andy. Go figure. Her voice is like nails on a blackboard. And she’s not that entertaining. Bethenny is insulting, annoying & full of herself. I’d never miss her. The reason people used to like her is because she was an underdog. Now she’s just obnoxious.

          • I know that’s right

            You surely said the truth..

  • LuxLuxLux

    Bethenny always hates the pretty women, it’s really quite sad.

    • tapestry10

      Yes, Bethenny hates the pretty women, and also the thin women and the smart women and the dumb women and the fat women. Bethenny hates the career women and the stay-at-home mothers. She hates the Jewish women and the married women. Bethenny hates her mother. Kind of rounds it all out, doesn’t it?

      • Why is this happening to us?

        Which is why she’s alone and miserable….lol

        • tapestry10

          Yes, exactly. I think working for Bethenny would be a true workplace horror. There’s a lot of turnover in her staff, which tells you everything. Her employees seems tense and stiff, as I would be, too.

          • Why is this happening to us?

            I noticed that too….every season she has new employees. The one girl that she had with her for a long time (Julie?) left too, so that says a lot. I know I couldn’t work for her either- she’s way too controlling for me.
            I have also noticed that she has no friends that aren’t on her payroll. That girl Julie who was her assistant was her BFF and now her new BFF is Carole, who she met from the show. She seems like a very difficult person to deal with, both professionally and personally. If her own mother wants nothing to do with her, that’s telling.

          • tapestry10

            A lot of the HWs seem to have this brand new concept, on-the-payroll friends. That’s what Camille had. That’s what Sonja has, but she doesn’t pay them. And the most bizarre of all, Erica travels with a cluster of men who are her “dressers.”

          • Why is this happening to us?

            Yeah- I don’t get it either… Lol. It’s a sad day when the only people who want to be in your presence are those that you are paying! (Or not paying, as in the case of Sonja’s “interns” lol…she’s got some racket going on over there- free labor! Who’s got it better than she does?)
            Everyone thinks they are a rock star these days and they need to travel with an entourage to stroke their ego and tell them how important they are. I think it’s kind of pathetic…
            They are not curing cancer or doing anything noteworthy in the world to warrant that kind of “staff.” Since when do housewives need nannies, housekeepers and interns? What are they doing all day that they don’t have the time to watch their own kids or cook dinner?
            I actually laughed when the new girl, Jules, talked about how hard it was to be a stay at home mom and that she deserved a large salary. Just what exactly does she do while the nanny and the housekeeper do all the work? So ridiculous. Lol.
            Kristen was just like Jules- had a nanny and still had no idea how to cook a meal for her family! There is no excuse for not learning how to cook when you have no job and someone else is raising your kids! What a life…

          • tapestry10

            So true, Why. It’s a given, at this point, that everyone who becomes a HW is seriously f—ed up, so now we’re just waiting to find out what this one’s major maladjustment is. On another subject, every time Carole refers to herself as a “girl” I want to throw a rock through the television, if there were any chance it would hit her. What is she 50? 55? Does she have any plans, maybe not now but sometime in the future, to stop being a “girl?”

          • Why is this happening to us?

            She keeps calling herself a “girl” so her 20 something year old man child doesn’t sound so young! Lol
            All the HW’s have some kind of personality disorder…it’s funny how we are just waiting for it to appear! It takes a special kind of person to want to broadcast their life on tv and get attention. They all crave it!

          • tapestry10

            And they’re all ALL harboring some awful secret that explains why their marriage is much worse than anyone else’s. a poster called I Know That’s Right posted above that it was reported that Harry was caught with anther man, after he made a movie about being gay. It would appear that Lipsa’s marriage isn’t the way she describes it, or maybe it is, sine she describes it as requiring her to wear a strap-on. Why would anybody say that? Why, Why?

          • Why is this happening to us?

            I think they all have skeletons in their closets too, especially regarding their marriages.
            That’s really interesting about Harry…I had no idea. Is that what Kim Richards was going to expose about Harry? Lol
            I still can’t believe she mentioned a strap on…what was she thinking? 😱 Well, we know she is outta her damn mind! Lol

          • tapestry10

            This is what she has her children dealing with when they read what she said online or see it on tv.

          • Why is this happening to us?

            She deserves the Mom of the year award! Lol
            Those poor kids…

          • Aleggra

            ROFL…throw a rock for me, too. I’ll buy you a new TV as long as you hit Carole. How about when she mentions her “amazing a$$”? Right. All I see is a flat, bony behind in 1980 torn jeans. Was she buying her Boyo a new camera? He looked like a kid in a candy store. Mummy was buying him presents 😀

          • tapestry10

            Tv/Carole/rock: Deal!

          • Aleggra

            I want some interns, too. Unfortunately, there’s no room for them. 🛏

          • tapestry10

            Yes, it would be nice. It would seem, though, that they abolished slavery in the whole rest of the United States except at Sonja’s house.

          • Aleggra

            Hey tap! I’ve read that when Bethenny had her talk show, she couldn’t keep assistants bc she’s a holy terror to be around. After awhile (a short while) it got around Hollywood & they couldn’t find anyone to work for her.

          • tapestry10

            Yes, I read that, too, and the stories described her as demanding, perfectionistic, hypercritical and micromanaging. Great traits in a boss.

          • Aleggra

            OMG, I believe it! You describe her to a B! How can Andy stand Bethenny? I’m hoping Dorinda rips her a new one this season. If anyone can, it’ll be her, unless Dorinda has gone over to the Bethenny-Carole mean girls side. Now that Heather & Kristen are gone, Carole has crawled up Bethenny’s tukus for protection.

          • tapestry10

            Andy loves Bethenny because she’s the only person in all the franchises who hates women as much as he does.

        • tapestry10

          p.s. Hi, Why!

          • Why is this happening to us?

            Hi tap! ☺️

      • Wimbledonwoman

        Oh that is fricking hilarious 😆😆😆😆

        • tapestry10

          Thanks WW!

          • Wimbledonwoman

            God that did make me laugh .

      • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

        She and LVP should be besties.

        • tapestry10

          You have a point.

    • Sunflower

      It is quite sad…
      Jules is tall and thin… with model proportions and she has an unconventional face. Her husband made sure he married a taller woman to secure a “taller offspring”.

  • 📉 Snarky in Hoboken📈

    I forgot about the pay-per-play contracts! I want to keep a tally throughout the season & will have to watch it again. Ramona must be in the lead so far with I believe 3 scenes in the first episode.

    Carole has been a boring snotty slouch since her first season. Her “look” is now Yeezy thrift store alternative. I’ve never seen anyone sit on a counter at a retail store. Ever.

    She should cut back on whatever she’s smoking & wash her hair. Dry shampoo on the subway doesn’t count.

    Bethenny is always one to take temperatures. Too bad she also has a habit of bursting out in tears when the thermometer isn’t even that close to her own ass.

    I don’t know if it was the SG shade of her lipstick asshat attitude or bitter pill aura but BF looked old to me on WWHL last night. She wants to monetize everything so I’m sure she’ll have more boring statements that she’ll use to death this season & slap em on t-shirts as well.

    • SPOT ON about Carole. She and Adam look like 2 dirty homeless NY’ers. And that lens SHE paid for cost 15k.

      • 📉 Snarky in Hoboken📈

        Oh my word! I know camera lenses are expensive but yowza!

    • Aleggra

      LOL, BF looks like the joker wthat red lipstick.

  • Birdie

    Bethenny’s home makes me nervous for Brynn–no dirt granules allowed. Loved seeing her office. Dorinda and John seem like two party lushes, and certainly seem to get jittery with glee at a nice meal. Sonja and Luann might provide some fun double floozy action. Carole and Adam are grubby and boring.

    • Her apartment seemed so small to me. And the view from the veranda was less than appealing.

      • Birdie

        Her couch looked like the couch that ate Manhattan, it would have looked better with scaled furniture.

        • EXACTLY! The couch stole the entire space.

        • Sunflower

          In every apartment of the Rich in Manhattan… you find the same monstrous couches/sofas… regardless of space… all in muted colors!
          Boring….

          • Aleggra

            I noticed that overstuffed furniture. Why do they do that? I thought only little old ladies did that. Plus Bethenny’s knick-knacks are her brand items all over the house. How sad is that?

      • Sunflower

        No wonder Bethenny started probing Jules immediately upon arrival at the Restaurant… where she lived!… Shallow… Shallow… Bethenny.

        Low and Behold… Jules lives in a LOFT in the Flat Iron District of NYC… far away from Bethenny’s Flood Zone..!!

  • Wimbledonwoman

    Dear beachside, fantastic recap i haven’t watched the episode yet , and i am not sure i need to now . I loved that article .

  • BetteDavisEyez1

    Great recap. I really enjoyed the first episode. Hopefully, Bethenny doesn’t spend the entire season controlling & dominating every get together. She loves the sound of her own voice.
    John is too much. Less scenes with him would be great & the new HW Jules, really doesn’t seem that interesting… But all in all, this is still my favorite in the franchise.

    • Lila

      Agree but I’m giving Jules a chance. Remember , the newbies always lay low at the beginning. Look at what happened to DoRINda! 😱 😁

      • BetteDavisEyez1

        True. However, I could go the rest of my life without Dorinda without food on her lips or her talking without her mouth full of food, screaming about dropping the F bomb, all the while dropping the F bomb herself.

  • Aleggra

    Bethenny’s voice and Adderral motor-mouth are soo annoying. Does she think her insults are funny? They aren’t. As for Carole & her two babies, is she for real? Does her boyo work or is she footing all of the bills? Adam looked like it was X-mas whis new camera. I guess Mommy must have bought it for him–anything to keep her young-thing happy, I guess.
    Lu & Sonja living together is going to be fun to watch. As for Dorinda, it looks like she’s in for a bumpy ride. As for Ramona, who knows? Anything can happen.

    • I know that’s right

      I just wrote your furs sentence and no her insults are not funny at all…

    • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

      I hated her at first (last season), but she grew on me; like an athlete’s foot fungus.

      • Aleggra

        LOL

  • Lila

    Great recap Beach.

  • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

    Looks like more incessant non-stop chatter and petty cat fights from these loons. But then I guess this isn’t meant to be Masterpiece Theatre right.

    • Aleggra

      So true. And at least these women don’t beat one topic to death & beyond. They’re too self-absorbed to care if anyone is sick. They’d get an intern to deliver chicken soup & then forget that a sick person exists on the show. I can hear Sonja now, “You mean what’s-her-name died? That’s awful. Did anyone notice my new haircut?”

      • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

        They are ALL some serious go-getters! That’s for sure. But when you live in NYC, you better keep it (the $) coming in!

  • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

    I’m confused about why a woman reportedly worth more than $25M would not get her snaggly teef fixed. Yes Dorito, I’m talking about you. In fact Carol …. oh nevermind; she doesn’t annoy me as much.

    • Wimbledonwoman

      And learn how to eat with her mouth closed …….

      • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

        LoL … and lives in a NYC crackerbox. I think she’s a fraud.

        • Wimbledonwoman

          Hhmm yes , I am with you on that . She clearly has money , but maybe not as much as she would like us to believe or she is like the William Astor (black house ) and is a slum landlord ( lady ) on the quiet

          • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

            IMHO, the only one who truly lives LARGE is Bethenny. The others are a bunch of hustlers.

        • Wimbledonwoman

          Yes I don’t get if she is worth so much she would live in such a tiny place and not have a place in the hamptons. Lord listen to me I am now such an expert and rich NY’rs. I do love MDLNY. Many of the RH’s appear to spend so much money on maintaining the facade of being rich. Who the fuck cares ?

        • Aleggra

          Have you been reading my mind again?

  • Wimbledonwoman

    Ok , now my dear fellow posters slag me off at your will but what shocked and made me gasp an involuntary ‘ugh’ was when the soon to be ex countess was lying on the bed and there was a view of the ensuite and the toilet lid was UP. Oh awful I hate toilet lids up, wtf . The lid is there for a purpose , ok aesthetics but a bathroom or downstairs loo looks infinitely better with the lid down, don’t buy the fucking lid if it is not going to be used . sonja put the lid down, the bathroom will look so much better.

  • JustNotCrazyAboutR/TBitches

    Reading through some of these comments I’m seeing I’m not the only one who is noticing what a sloppy looking couple this horse face Carole (and her fugly BF) are. Are they supposed to be people we want to see? I never understood WTF she is doing on this show.