We are still in Denmark at Hotel D’Angleterre or as I call it, Dangletree Hotel. The “Ladies of London” are getting ready to leave and travel to Valdemars Castle, Carol’s family home. Except for Caroline, who is laying around with Luke who is dressed like a little boy in his winter onesie. She tells Luke about Annabelle’s po-faced lobotomy at last night’s dinner, telling everyone what their problem was. Caroline says if you don’t like her harsh put downs – then leave. It’s just that simple.
In the van, the ladies discuss what’s up Annabelle’s butt. And Annabelle can hear it all because she’s sitting in the row behind them. Caroline asks Lady Julie what’s the worst thing that could happen if she stood up to Annabelle? Which is ironic because it’s almost the same question Annabelle asked Lady Julie about Caroline. Lady Julie’s answer is the same for both, “What if they get mad at me?”
The van pulls into the driveway of Carol’s castle. It’s a “proper Danish castle” which must be code for: big ass house. Lady Julie says it’s a ONB – outstanding natural beauty – and she should know because of her HSP – highly sensitive personality. The staff is there to greet them which is a nice touch. You don’t get that at the Hilton.
Carol brings the ladies to each of their rooms, chosen for their personalities. There are 18 rooms to choose from and they only need nine. Lady Julie gets the lovely room down the hall from the stuffed polar bear. Juliet’s room has an adjacent church should she need to cleanse her soul. And Annabelle gets the largest room that was Carol’s grandmother’s. Annabelle smiles for the first time that day.
Next is a tour of the castle’s ballroom that Carol played tennis in as a kid and the museum which holds Europe’s largest collection of hunting trophies. There was a stuffed giraffe that made me sad, a walrus penis bone that made me confused, and a shrunken head that creeped me out. Great things like that.
The ladies get dressed for dinner and look smashing in their casual-dressy looks. Waiting in the parlor, Carol implores her guests to please be on time to breakfast at 10:00am the next morning. Everyone agrees except Juliet who is late for dinner, which as you know in America, is what you don’t want to be called.
Did you know that Annabelle smokes? Like, a lot. And did you know what Annabelle has cleavage? Like, a lot. Lady Julie is concerned that Annabelle’s not having a good time, but not enough to actually ask Annabelle. Luke explains to Lady Julie that since she’s no longer underneath Annabelle’s wing, a regular phoenix rising from the ashes, Annabelle is sour because she’s no longer needed.
Fast forward a few minutes and Marissa stirs the shit-pot by asking what happened on the bus like she wasn’t there or something. The ladies go back and forth about whose ass Annabelle was up. Or was it Lady Julie up Annabelle’s ass? No matter, Lady Julie is Annabelle’s bitch puppet with no voice according to Caroline. Lady Julie feels that she maybe, definitely, sort of, perhaps has grown stronger as a woman. Annabelle places her hands over her ears to block out Caroline’s voice, cigarette in hand. She thinks Caroline sounds like an unattractive, petulant child. So there!
Is it me? Or is it weird to see people smoke in a castle? Seems like they should go outside or something, but it’s so cold in Denmark, I guess they can’t.
The following morning everyone is late for breakfast. Carol is upset that Phin has been cooking for hours upon hours and no one is up. Sophie tries to apologize for the group but instead gets the brunt of Carol’s anger at their rude behavior. It’s not the Hilton, people, it’s someone’s humble home. Please show some respect. Instead, Caroline points out that she should have been woken up if it was so important. Carol tells her to learn some manners as well as how to work an alarm clock. Annabelle cackles in the background. Carol asks that everyone please be on time to dinner tonight with her parents. Spoiler alert: they are.
Sophie goes to Annabelle’s room to plug in her curlers when Annabelle gets a bad phone call. We can tell it’s bad call because even through the bathroom door we can hear Annabelle gasp and cry. After the commercial break, Sophie tells the other ladies that Annabelle received a call about an unflattering article on Alexander McQueen that’s come out. The article’s headline is that McQueen was a man “Prone to Shocking Depravity and Cruelty.”
How sad since he’s not here to defend himself. It’s said that five years ago McQueen was “overwhelmed with grief” and took his life shortly after his mother died. Annabelle shares her pain over the rude article with the other ladies and it’s a real moment.
Carol takes Caroline, though I’m not sure why when Caroline was so rude at breakfast, to Svenborg Church where her family’s tombs are kept. Carol’s mum, Margareta, died when Carol was 11. The cancerous tumor discovered only a few weeks prior to Margaret’s death. The upside is her urn is huggable. Caroline realizes she should never again complain about anything to Carol. But we all know she will.
The ladies are decked out and toff’d for dinner. Of all the “Real Housewives” in the franchise, the LoL’s are the most tastefully dressed (not including Juliet). We meet Carol’s pop Baron Niedls Krabbe Juel-Brockdorff and godfather Count Preben Ahlefeldt Laurvis. Names that just roll off the British tongue.
Annabelle’s spirits are up as she shares tidbits with the Count and Baron about being shot in that ass by an Arab Prince with a bow an arrow and how her family’s title came from a long ago affair. They are shocked to learn Annabelle is not married.
It’s time for dinner and Carol gives a toast to her family for putting up with her new friends. After dinner Marissa gives a speech about falling in love with each of Carol’s family members, and now Carol, and her country. Maybe she’ll earn her citizenship to Denmark, too.
Afterwards the ladies and men, who’ve suddenly appeared, go to the ballroom to dance. Everyone keeps saying that Sophie is pissed – but don’t be alarmed – she’s not mad, just drunk. And what a fun drunk she is. Give this girl her own show. The group hugs it out to mark the end of their holiday with the Baroness.
Tune in next week for the “Ladies of London” Season Finale. Can you believe it? Short season, this was only episode 9. Will you miss the ladies? Do you think there will be a Season 3?