We begin this week’s episode of “Ladies of London” with a special mummy-moment between Juliet and her daughter. She’s telling Juliet, with great pride I might add, that her mummy is the best at bossing everyone around. Nearly brought tears to my eyes. Juliet is planning a night of bowling, beer, and burgers for the ladies, costumes included. Juliet likes wigs because it alters people’s personalities. Let’s hope it works for her.
In a different part of London, Marissa is meeting with Annabelle because they have an organic friendship. Annabelle can also pick out ballcaps with the Top Dog logo because she’s in “fash-un” don’t you know. They rehash Sophie’s party, and despite the Juliet vs. Julie fight over Caroline, they both still thought it was a civilized event. They concur that Juliet trashes friendships for Caroline – and Caroline couldn’t care less.
Speaking of Caroline, she is preparing for the meeting of her life. CFO Pauline is going over the agenda for the board meeting. Caroline is running out of money and has a looming bank note due shortly. On the ride over, Caroline says she’s petrified, but looks cool as a cucumber. (I tweeted this to Caroline and she replied “no choice”).
It seems as if it’s always rainy or gloomy in London. Good thing Caroline has a mohawk’d driver/umbrella holder. As she walks back to her car in the rain, having completed the no-cameras-allowed meeting, it’s hard to tell if Caroline is upset. She tells us the meeting didn’t fare well, but this woman should play professional poker. When Caroline arrives home, Michael Sam, the first openly gay American football player, and his friend, Vito, are in town visiting her. Random!
Annabelle is live-chatting with her illustrator, Astro, for her Mememe children’s book series. He’s cute and so are his characters for Annabelle’s Pixel knock-off, “Inside Out.” So far there’s Angry Me, Messy Me and Dreamy Me. This is Annabelle’s first project on her own, without mentor Alexander McQueen’s guidance. Maybe her next book should be: Big Girl Me.
Next, we go back and forth from scenes of Caroline and Luke, her makeup artist/hairdresser/soulmate, in her closet; and the trio of ladies, Annabelle, Lady Julie, and Carol, visiting another professionally run estate. Caroline tells Luke that the investors are giving her until the following week to make the necessary changes at Gift. Let’s just say, heads will be chopped like she’s Henry the Eighth.
Back at Beaulieu Estate, after learning rule number one was to purchase very good door mats for the estate, Baroness Carol suggests the most brilliant idea ever. Serve sandwiches at Mapperton since it was passed down from the Earl of Sandwich. I honestly have no idea why they haven’t been doing this all along. If this were Marissa’s family, she’d already have the hot dog cart in the front yard.
Caroline is on a duck tour with her boys, Michael, Luke, and Vito, laughing for the first time since…ever. They laugh at the historical churches and buildings, especially the big, blue cock. That was a real knee slapper for everyone. Back with the trio of ladies, Carol appoints herself as Juliet’s next etiquette teacher. Good luck with that.
But Carol is a woman of her word. She has invited Juliet over for a cooking-lesson date. Carol laughs her beautiful laugh that sounds like a seal barking when she hears that Juliet considers Kraft mac & cheese to be a meal. Juliet samples the apple-butter and tells Carol that she’s sick…no wait…it’s thick. Juliet asks for a glass of water.
Fun fact about Carol: she uses coconut oil everywhere, inside and out. I wonder if that tip is in her Baroness cookbooks? Juliet asks Carol why she is still single – a question single people never get tired of hearing. Carol admits that she is dating a 30-year-old who has the soul of an old man…just not the pecker of one. Carol turns her cooking lesson into a sex talk about the proper hand job for pesto, but never mentions Juliet’s rudeness. And how could she at this point?
Yee-haw! It’s time to bowl! Juliet has ordered matching yellow bowling shirts with annoying nick-names on the back. Lady Julie gets Loose Lips. Sophie gets Frank the Tank (Will Ferrell movie reference) and Carol is the Cougar. And not a happy cougar, I might add. But the bowling party is a hit. The ladies are having fun in their bright wigs, laughing at their skill level, guzzling the beer, having a great time. Oops. I spoke too soon. When it’s Carol’s turn to bowl, Marissa says, “Lock up your children.” Ha-ha. She’s so not funny.
Well, Carol didn’t like it, but she lets it go. Way to shrug it off. But then, Marissa makes another dig about Carol liking children, and can I just say, if this were The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the tables would be flipping by now. Instead, Carol gives Marissa the royal evil-eye and leaves. Marissa finally puts two and two together and gets five – she crossed the line with Cougar Carol.
Juliet and Lady Julie go off to talk to one another and decide that they were actually trying to be there for each other, only it got misconstrued. As does everything Juliet’s involved in. The ladies hug it out.
Tune in next week when Marissa and Lady Julie take a bath together with two kinds of bubbles.