RECAP: Ladies of London – Humping Husbands in Unicorn Onesies [Episode 3]

Posted on Sep 22 2015 - 2:39am by Dani-K

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

It’s Christmas time in London. The streets are wet, the air is damp, but the Ladies of London are in good spirits. We catch up with Annabelle, who has a cold, meeting Lady Julie for tea. She tells Annabelle that she’s looking for investors for her energy snack, JUB — Julie’s Unbelievable Balls. Is it me, or do you immediately think of the SNL skit, Schweddy Balls? Her goal is noble, to save Mapperton, but please give this energy snack a makeover.

Annabelle shares with Lady Julie the children’s book she’s working on stemming from her lonely, angry, fearful time as a child growing up in a wealthy, entitled, aristocratic family, is coming along swell. Fun fact about Annabelle: by the time she was 8 years old, she had visited 20 children’s therapists. Her book is like “Inside Out” if directed by Tim Burton.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

Marissa and husband Matt are taking a gander at the new restaurant property they’ve acquired. Marissa is going to open a restaurant of her own, bringing American culture to London by way of the hot dog. Sorry England! Top Dog will specialize in organic hot dogs, like that sounds better. They tour the establishment and go over the changes that need to take place. First on the list is to remove dead, smelly animals from the basement.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

During a private yoga session given by Lady Julie to Juliet, they discuss what the group should do for New Year’s Eve. Juliet is a member of Club Royal and wants to be nice and invite everyone to dine, drink champagne, watch fireworks, and dress like animals, but we’ll get to that last part in a minute.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

Caroline is at work and things are in dire straits. Christmas sales weren’t impressive and the six month money supply has now dropped to three. Caroline’s assistant, Raina, who sounds like she’s smoked a million cigars, questions Caroline’s bah-humbug attitude about firing people. Caroline explains she’s a hard ass bitch because that’s how you build an empire. Not by being weak.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

Lady Julie loves riding her bike all across London, even while sporting the cold she picked up from Annabelle. Today she’s biking to meet with Caroline to discuss the JUB business plan she will present to possible investors soon. Lady Julie wants to siphon Caroline’s self confidence and wear like a Versace bike helmet. Caroline has no time to be a full-time mentor, but for a slice of cake, will give you her harshest opinions.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

First, Caroline tells Lady Julie to quit cycling around town lest she become road splat because she’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. Onto business, Lady Julie is jabbering away nervously to pit bull Caroline about her plan to ask for $150K. Caroline warns her not to give her business away just as it’s on the brink of success. Caroline does not recommend a name change. Why, Caroline? Why?

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

It’s party time in London! They celebrate it five hours before New York City. Everyone is staying at the five star Club Royal hotel for the New Year’s Eve festivities. The plan is to dress in their formal attire and meet at Juliet and Gregor’s suite for, what else, champagne. It’s like water to these people. Lady Julie’s black dress drapes in the back and she looks much prettier than she did in that red dress, despite the yellow stamps on her arms. Annabelle’s black dress with gold shoulder pads must have come from the Michael Jackson collection, but she still looks beautiful. Everyone is gathered except for the hostess, Juliet. She’s still getting ready. Finally she enters the room in her shredded silver tinsel dress.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

The dinner table is beautifully decorated. There is more silverware and stemware than most Americans would know what to do with. Matt shares that the Club Royale is where he first met Marissa. He tried to talk her into getting a room, but that didn’t pan out. Hahahaha. Everyone has a good laugh at his anecdote, except Lady Julie. She accuses Matt of turning a romantic story into a raunchy one. This is our first clue that Lady Julie might be mad as a hatter.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

Juliet is kissing Carol’s ass and Caroline is taking note. Juliet tells Carol that they were destined to meet and get along, but Juliet knows nothing about her so they simply must do yoga on a rock together. This sets off a headstand competition between Lady Julie and Baroness Carol. When Carol achieves the salamba sirsasana pose first (I had to look that up) Caroline points out that of the two titled women who were attempting it, the non-yoga instructor achieved her headstand first. Apparently slower is better, but Lady Julie is offended by Caroline’s comment. How dare she throw that dig.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

Lady Julie runs to the bathroom and Annabelle follows. There are tears, and long story short, after Caroline is summoned to the bathroom, she begrudgingly apologizes even though Caroline was offended by headstands at a formal dinner.

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

It’s midnight finally, the fireworks are beautiful as the ladies and gents look down on their fellow Londoners from their penthouse balcony. Second fun fact of the episode: Sophie likes to make out with women. Interesting bit of news. I wonder where her husband, Caroline’s brother, was that night? Didn’t see the two of them kissing.

When they return inside for more champagne, Caroline surprises everyone with animal onesies. There’s a cow, a unicorn, a lion, a penguin, a kangaroo. The hotel suite has literally become a zoo. While Juliet is busy looking in a mirror, Caroline is straddling Gregor, teasing him to put on a onesie. Juliet walks in and asks Caroline if she was just straddling her husband, to which Caroline says, “It was the highlight of his evening.”

All About the Tea_ladies-of-london-recap-s2

To be continued. Did you watch the clip for next week? So much drama – can’t wait!

 

“Like” us on Facebook  “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram 

About the Author

I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run. For more information, please visit me at: Twitter* * Website* * Facebook*

  • TartLemon

    This show is fascinating. I’m not irritated by any of the cast yet. The typical HW drama seems to be a waste of airtime because of the cultural differences being so entertaining. Marissa is the only one who needs a bitch slap, but I have a feeling her social climbing and arrogance will be taken down quite a few notches by natural social order.

    • Livie1

      I took an instant dislike of Marissa and not really sure why so strongly but there it is! Still feel the same after watching all of first season and these new episodes. She must remind me of someone I guess! She comes off as smug, but a mean girl smug and I think that’s the key to my dislike. Funny as Caroline S is definitely a master of smugness but she has a sense of humor to go along with it.

      • Dani-K

        I understand what you are saying, Livie. The difference to me is authenticity. Caroline is who she is without apologies. Marissa is somewhat Stepford and more interested in social climbing than she lets on.

      • Sophia Z.

        I couldn’t agree with you more on all that you said Livie. But you already know that. Well said.

    • Sophia Z.

      Glad to see other people feel the same way. She’s a little snot that tries to hide it.

  • Jennymckitty

    Marissa and Juliette seemed to put the past behind them this episode. I wonder how much of it was real. Juliette has a picture of her and Marissa wearing aprons and cooking turkeys in Marissa’s kitchen with hashtags about Thanksgiving and Bumpkin.
    Caroline can’t disguise her contempt for Juliette’s social climbing or maybe just Juliet in general. Lots of eye rolling at dinner.

  • MidwestMiddie

    Fun Bravo Viewing and Reading Dani-K.
    Cracked me up when Caroline seemed surprised at the elegant dinner party hosted by Juliet. Bravo picked up that tab, not Juliet. Bravo’s budget was huge since no money was spent on any Thanksgiving Dinners. Maybe that was Juliet’s plan all along ……… She is still busy climbing up everyone around her hoping to meet a member of the Royal Family. Boring!
    Considering the world-wide love for American-styled Hot Dogs, Marissa’s new casual restaurant,”Top Dog” will likely be a success. She and her husband seem to have a loving close relationship…..better than many seen so far.
    Lady Julie must have gone over her limit for champagne when she accepted the challenge to be a part of the Yoga Formal Dinner Entertainment and then boo-hooed Caroline’s comment. Wasn’t the game a race vs technique?
    Annabelle is fun to watch when she’s riding a horse. Her children’s book surprised me…..scary looking.
    I guess Sophie steals the show next week. Can you imagine what Sophie, Caroline and
    Carol were like before they were married and party girls?
    So will Juliet and Caroline have their friendship break-up over the onsie deal? Or will Juliet
    decide to just “take it” because it’s part of her price for climbing up the social ladder?

    • Jennymckitty

      Will Juliet just suck it up and take it? IDK. Does an American who happens to be a Lady trump a Brit socialite? Juliet may decide it does and stand up to Caroline. If I watched this and saw all the snide comments and eye rolls from Caroline, I’d have to back away.

      • MidwestMiddie

        Or Juliet may think she has a chance with Carol, the Danish Royal,
        and decide to move to Denmark when Carol returns home. lol

        • Livie1

          Speaking of Denmark, I read that Sophie, Caroline’s SIL is originally from there also but moved when she was a kid. Caroline definitely seems to like those Danes!

          • MidwestMiddie

            Interesting. Caroline may have met Sophie through her friend Carol of Denmark. The image of those 3 partying up when they were younger and single is funny and frightening.

          • Livie1

            I agree Midwest, I bet those 3 sowed themselves some exquisitely wild oats!!

    • Dani-K

      Thanks Middie! I can’t wait for next week. What they showed was almost like the previews for the whole season, but this was just one episode. $hit is going down!

      • MidwestMiddie

        Looking forward to it. : )
        I sincerely hope Bravo drops Juliet next season and brings on more British women. Two Americans married to Brits is enough of the Red, White and Blue.

    • Livie1

      Midwest I predict there will be no breakup over the onsie deal. They are friends or master and minion, depending on who is reading this (I kind of think the minion thing – lol) Plus their families have spent time together, the kids play together. So I think they will all FOUR laugh this off. I didn’t see Juliet throw her kangaroo hat at Caroline in real anger but in mock anger.

      Was it appropriate to jump on Juliet’s husband? No. Will it be dismissed by all of the above? Yes, imo.

      • MidwestMiddie

        You’re good at this, Livie. Take it apart, analyze every detail and BINGO!!!
        : )

        • Livie1

          LOL, I take that as a huge compliment coming from you Midwest!! Thank you!

  • Livie1

    I for one thought Caroline gave excellent business advice to Julie about her company and investors. Dani-K yes I DID think “Schweddy Balls” when I heard Julie go on and on about her JUB’s (which rhymes with another less-than-appetizing word. Further reason that moniker needs changing asap!)

  • Lila

    I would love to see an American on the show as arrogant and bitchy as Caroline. Equals. THAT would be fun to watch. Caroline needs to meet her match. I’ve been sticking around waiting for this. Tired of the ass kissing . When Brits come to America, they don’t do that.

    • Dani-K

      Caroline reminds me of Lisa Vanderpump without tact. You know, every put down is disguised as a joke, but Caroline is much more in your face.

      • Lila

        Lol true. A sugared put down. But to me Lisa comes off more sincere than Caroline. And it seems like Caroline is all about -Caroline. I don’t think she would have cared to ‘mentor’ Julie if it weren’t for the show.

        • Livie1

          Lila, it’s always fun to read other poster’s thoughts on a show we all like in common! To me when I saw Caroline’s meeting with Julie and the mentoring thing, I just thought she was distracted by the news her company was possibly tanking. Not really disinterested in Julie’s investor presentation but more interested in the status of her own falling apart business?

          And Julie seems more and more like a hot mess with her kindergarten idea of how to save Mapperton. I just think her marriage is an issue, her left to raise the kids while her husband lives with mom and dad elsewhere the majority of the week. Something is amiss. When you are around people going through these personal issues sometimes they take more (unintentionally) than you have to give. I got that from Caroline too, this was going into a territory she wasn’t excited to visit.

          I agree, Lisa V is the master, but I do like Caroline, I must disclose that!! lol!!

          • Lila

            Yea, I heard Caroline say she had her buisness on her mind. I have to say I give credit where credit is due and she gave Julie good advice. I’m liking Julie, bless her- she’s a one woman juggling act, but she’s a wreck. She needs to man up to Caroline.

            I also enjoy reading others comments and their perception of the Ladies ; especially in different situations. Yep Lisa is my Queen, but I do like Caroline-and want to strangle her at the same time! Lol

    • MidwestMiddie

      The show had that lady last year – Caprice. She could always be counted on
      to go toe to toe with Caroline. Caprice not rejoining the show may have given
      Caroline her carte blanche bitchy mood for this season.

      • Lila

        Well then they need to get Caprice back. Why did she leave?

        • MidwestMiddie

          She and her boyfriend arranged for a surrogate in the States to have their baby. As soon as she found out her surrogate was pregnant, she found out she was pregnant too. So by the end of last year’s show, she was only a few weeks away from becoming a mother, twice.
          Caprice is an America model who made it REALLY BIG in London. She is more famous there than here. Some say she decided against coming back to the show because of the demands of motherhood and others say it is because she didn’t like her PR from the show. Many disliked her for her snobby elitist ways. If you can see last years’s show, you’ll enjoy seeing Caprice. I think she is missed this season and I would love to have her back.

          • Lila

            Oh right, now I remember her. I didn’t see the whole season ; just caught the tail end. Thanks for filling me in.

          • MidwestMiddie

            You’re welcome.
            : )

        • Sophia Z.

          I liked Caprice but she had her own issues.

          • Livie1

            And I detested Caprice!! lol!! Honestly wouldn’t have watched this season if she’d stayed as a part of the cast. That said, I love to read all the differing opinions on the various cast members. I love that about the posters here.

          • Sophia Z.

            After re-watching last season I tend to agree with you but my opinion is pretty tainted since I am such a huge Caroline Stanbury fan. I was glad to see that Caroline got Caprice in the end. I will say that Caprice was very pretty in photographs. But the baby shower incident was just over the top. Oh and as a side note, Caroline answered a few of my tweets last night. I’m so honoured.

          • Livie1

            Caprice just held little to no interest for me. I really did not like her (can you tell?? LOL!!)

          • Sophia Z.

            NO!!! This is a HUGE shocker! Alert the tabloids!

          • Livie1

            LOL 😉

          • Livie1

            Sophia that’s very cool that Caroline tweeted you 🙂

            I just rewatched the episode on aatt’s site and it was better this time for me as I wasn’t half alseep – lol. I saw a lot I missed and I have to say after viewing I am still on Team Caroline. One thing I did get screwed up was the grandma Xmas scene was Annabelle and her grandma, not Caroline and her granny. Sorry about that 🙂

          • Sophia Z.

            I wasn’t sure about the Granny comment so I buffed over it. Thanks for clearing that up. I didn’t see that so maybe I will re-watch in slow motion so I can see the photos and the grannies and all the wonderful things. I’m with you, I’m still on team Caroline 100%. I love her. And yes it was cool that Caroline answered my tweets. She seems to like to play a bit on twitter but when you hand her a joke she gives one word back. I guess she has a lot of tweets.

          • MidwestMiddie

            Caprice and Caroline are good for the show. Caprice makes Caroline look like an angel. lol

          • Livie1

            See Midwest I love Caroline just the way she is sans Caprice. I didn’t get their friendship either. Like Marissa said, sometimes people drift apart (or maybe she didn’t say that – brain fog today…)

          • MidwestMiddie

            IMO – there was a rivalry between Caroline the Aristocrat and Caprice the Popular Model. Caprice had her photo in the dailys – daily. Drove
            Caroline nuts. They had to appear to like each other but deep down I don’t think they did at all.
            Oh, I’m content with Caroline being her true self on the show and
            don’t want her to change one bit. She cracks me up.

          • Livie1

            Midwest to me Caprice was on the former playmate/playboy bunnie level. Maybe she was all wonderful but all I saw on the show was her underwear line and posters of her in younger days in a swimsuit – like for teenaged boys to put on their wall? So I may be unfair as far as her background. I just don’t know it! But what I saw of her on camera, really not my cup of tea. She would not be my friend, and that would most likely be a mutual decision – lol.

          • MidwestMiddie

            Agree. I’d never heard of Caprice until the LOL. She isn’t my kind of
            woman but she was good for the show and she did take the heat off of Caroline as far as how viewers saw them. More viewers tolerated Caroline’s upper crust elitist ways when Caprice was there.
            One scene from last season showed Caprice checking out the tabloids for photos of women who had attended an event the day
            before. She was blown away because her photograph was the first one and in her opinion that made her the most sought after by readers. She sat there counting where her friends photos were placed. lol

          • Livie1

            Midwest I enjoy Caroline’s upper crust elitist ways tho!!! LMAO!! She’s a hoot to me.

            I do remember that scene with Caprice tabulating her press. I hope motherhood has since given her a wider perspective on life because she really came off as terribly self-centered.

          • MidwestMiddie

            Same – I enjoy Caroline as she is —–
            : )

          • Livie1

            Midwest I’m glad you and some of the other AATT’ers suggested I watch this show – I’ve found it fun overall. Much better storylines than disease of the week episodes rampant elsewhere!!!! It’s obvious Bravo is fooling around with the LoL franchise at present but hopefully the ladies will quash that.

          • MidwestMiddie

            Glad you’re enjoying it. : )
            IF you’ve never watched “The People’s Couch” give it a try.
            It is returning to Bravo the first week in October. It’s loads of fun especially after you’ve watched a few episodes and get to know the people.

          • Livie1

            I LOVE the People’s Couch!!! I haven’t seen in ages however…so glad to hear it’s returning!!! OMG, laughing right now remembering the expressions of the people featured!! Too funny!

          • MidwestMiddie

            EXACTLY – It is a Best of Bravo! The show hasn’t been on for a long time. Read several reasons – contracts being one …….no matter,
            they’re back and we’re in for some laughs!!!!!

    • Belinda Long Stevens

      Nene Leakes takes on Caroline Stanbury

      • Lila

        Oh wow! Lol!

  • Livie1

    I’m dyslexic and that didn’t cause me to be under the care of 20 different therapists by the age of 8. I was considered not bright and scored very low on the standardized test however, for which I can sympathize with Annabelle over. Somewhat.

    • Sophia Z.

      I was kind of surprised Annabelle admitting to that on camera. I didn’t see the point of the conversation.
      I wonder why Annabelle isn’t really being shown that much this year so far? Is it because Bravo has a script and we need to get to know the newer ladies?

      • Livie1

        I’d guess that broken pelvis has taken a lot out of Annabelle. Unexpected turn in life that all of us get handed at some point.

  • undergroundrailroadtrain

    This show has now entered WTF! territory with the introduction of animal onesies. And why is Julie so bothered by Caroline’s comment?

    • Dani-K

      I agree! Big deal. It’s NYE and everyone was drinking. Some behavior you have to let go. Maybe Juliet should be annoyed with her husband who didn’t seem to mind Caroline’s humping one bit.

      • Lila

        I wouldn’t let go That behavior. But I agree that her husband just layed there not minding it at all. But Caroline shouldn’t have rubbed it in. Onsies was dumb. How Old are these women!

        • Dani-K

          I wouldn’t let it go if it were normal people at a normal party. These people aren’t normal. They’re people with lots of alcohol and a film crew. And of course Caroline did something controversial. That’s so Caroline! (Might be the name of the new show she’s pitching to Bravo staring only her-lol.)

          • Lila

            True. They always need to be ‘on’. Lol Good name for a show!

    • Sophia Z.

      I wondered the same myself but I also felt for Julie over the apology when Caroline abruptly walked out. That was harsh.

      • Livie1

        Sophia I think Julie overreacted but I too thought that once Caroline saw her initial apology went no where, she could have just said to Julie, I’m really sorry you are so upset – in a nice way. And a sincere way? But I also saw that there was no winning with Julie, she really wasn’t wanting to accept an apology period. So I guess I agree with Caroline in that respect – sometimes it’s best to walk away from a fight you are never going to win. Neither party handled it overly well.

        • Sophia Z.

          If Caroline had just asked Julie to join the party again after the apology then it would not have been as harsh. It looked bad on Caroline that two people jumped up from the table to go console Julie (again) after Caroline walked out. I really feel Caroline could have consoled Julie just a little more with some feeling though and everything would have been fine. But Caroline was right, it’s like Julie lost her two children in the Titanic.

          • Livie1

            OMG, I LOVED that comment about the Titanic. And so true.

            In the context of it being a party and booze was being heavily imbibed in, Julie was the classic inconsolable drunk in the room. IMO. Nothing was going to help. Some people just don’t handle their drinks well and Julie seems very fragile. I guess I just felt Caroline tried and then saw this was going no where so she left.

            But you’re right Caroline appeared to get annoyed when her sincere (imo again) apology was blown off. I probably would have done the same thing ultimately.

          • Sophia Z.

            Good point about the booze. I didn’t factor that in. I couldn’t figure out why Julie was making such a huge deal over one of Caroline’s usual comments. If booze was the factor, I would have walked off also.

    • Che Catz

      I re-watched this episode…. and Caroline’s tone was pretty vicious. If the show narrative is true, Julie’s melt down happened after the second unprovoked attack by Caroline. If you recall, Julie had asked Caroline for professional input on her business plan to manufacture energy balls. During the meeting Caroline told Julie that she was too stupid to manage a business. Now at the dinner, Caroline attacks Julie’s yoga skills — which are her primary source of income. If that weren’t bad enough, the whole debacle is filmed and being distributed globally.

      From my perspective, Julie’s response was very controlled. If Caroline had pulled that crap on me, I would have used one of my well-toned yoga arms to bitch slap her, and then assumed the position of my foot up her ass.

  • Livie1

    Does London have weird lighting unique to that location? One that makes anything normally yellow such as walls, flowers and blondes appear as a garish lemony chartreuse? Just curious???

  • Livie1

    I just rewatched this episode and I *think* Julie was talking to Caroline, not Matt about cheapening a romantic story. As Matt was telling the table Marissa and he first met at that hotel, Caroline snarked “in the bathroom” (it sounded like that) and Julie then threw the don’t ‘cheapen it thing’ at Caroline.

    • ohjeez

      yes that’s what i saw

      • Livie1

        Ozjeez, thanks for the second opinion. After seeing that, it made me think Lady Julie was looking for trouble ala Caroline well before the yoga floor show.

    • Dani-K

      Oh thanks, Livie. I totally missed that. It’s tough typing and watching at the same time. Sometimes I wish I could watch it twice, but who has time for that. lol!

      • Livie1

        OMG, Dani-K I **hope** you didn’t take any offense! I am in AWE of your capabilities to wade through these shows with such clarity (and wit!!) I figure we’re all in this together and just “friends” chatting so was hoping you wouldn’t mind if I posted what I *thought* I saw/heard – but wasn’t entirely certain.

        OK off to get a massage – that I do have time for!! 🙂

        • Dani-K

          I need a massage. Oh, my aching shoulders. No worries, Livie! And it truly does take a village. Thanks again for reading!

  • Superb online work from house and make five thousand dollars a month.I made seven thousand dollars a month from the comfort of my house. 17

    Check details by visiting hyperlink in my pr0fiiile®.

  • jsdc007

    The American women make all us Americans look pathetic and stupid. Yes, our politicians are doing a bangup job already, but these women take it to a higher level. They’re childish, petulant, and act like illiterate imbeciles. When Juliet opens her mouth, it sounds like Sarah Palin doing a nails on a chalkboard routine. Poor Julie has obviously married a cash poor aristocratic twit if she’s shilling energy balls and teaching yoga to the spoiled friends of Gwyneth Paltrow to keep his estate afloat (as an aside, he looks like the extra in a BBC Tudor drama who gets his head lopped off in the first episode just because the King’s displeased with his looks), and Marissa is just horrible with her fake British aspirations.