On this week’s episode of Ladies of London, Thanksgiving-gate is but a distant memory. Caroline S stops by Marissa’s for an electrocution quickie. Her hands are suffering from Twitteridous. Marissa places the electrical patches on each of them while they rest on her bed. Marissa then informs Caroline that she’s not inviting Juliet to her Royal Albert Hall annual family Christmas charity sing-along event. Caroline is convinced this will soon become her problem and tells Marissa to reconsider.
Annabelle, Marissa and Lady Julie attend an art show by Emilio, one of Annabelle’s friends. Five minutes in, Marissa leaves because she has to “jet off” to dinner. Whatever. It’s okay. Lady Julie is thrilled to have Annabelle all to herself and considers AB the closest thing to “Dummies Guide to Aristocracy.”
Caroline S and Caroline F (who will now be playing the role of Carol) are shopping for red dresses, guzzling sipping champagne, pinkies in the air. Carol is hosting a Scandinavian Christmas dinner party. Side note: the LoL’s have had two parties where all the women wear the same color. And they call Americans, Stepford. Nevertheless, Carol says she’s so much more than a model with a title, she’s someone who was able to use her family’s money and connections and do things her way. Bravo, brave soul!
Juliet arrives at Lady Julie’s for the dinner party. They are each other’s dates since both of their husbands work out of town during the week. While Juliet gets her lashes on, Lady Julie tries on an Alexander McQueen red dress that Annabelle lent her. Unfortunately, the red dress wears Lady Julie instead of the other way around. But Lady Julie loves it and that’s all that matters, bless her heart.
Guess who just flew in from Paris at four o’clock on the day of her Scandinavian Christmas dinner party. The self-proclaimed Martha Stewart, that’s who. Carol is in the kitchen, whipping up goose and feeding the dogs. All by herself. No help. Which I commend her for, but hey, if you’re going to throw a dinner party, step it up a bit, mate. The guests have arrived and are offering to help because they are starving by now, but Carol turns down their help, saying she’s got it under control, but of course, doesn’t and doesn’t care. Tra-la-la-la she goes on her merry way.
Finally it’s time to eat and everyone goes to the dining room. For some reason a two-tiered glass shelf is in the middle of the dining table with trinkets on the shelves. Is that a thing? I don’t recall seeing that on HGTV, but what do I know. This is when Juliet learns that goose in on the menu. Last season there was a big kerfuffle over Juliet not eating venison, better known as Bambi. Will Juliet eat Mother Goose? The suspense is killing me. Yes, and she loves it! Goose with a side of kiss Carol’s ass.
During dinner, we learned a Lesson in English Etiquette, with Carol. Did you know that if the animal you are eating for dinner flies, you can eat it with your hands. Thank goodness pigs can fly. We wouldn’t want to break etiquette over here. And then, the most horrific thing occurs: Carol laughs. My ears! It’s part horse guffaw and part goose chuckle.
Conversation drifts to the Albert Hall event that Marissa is having. How smashing it will be. Who’s going (everyone), who’s not going (Juliet). A flashback is shown from three days prior of a heavily bronzed Caroline telling Juliet she’s off the list, per Marissa. Marissa doesn’t want the drama. (Said the passive/aggressive girl.) Just a happy holiday event with everyone’s families. Say what you want about Juliet, her adorable kids should have been included.
Next, Carol forces Caroline to participate in immersion therapy and conquer her fear of fruit. This is to help her PTSD she suffers from being forced to eat fruit in boarding school. I looked that up in the New England Journal of Medicine, but couldn’t find it. I did, however, find fear of vegetables, which totally makes sense. Carol abruptly tells her guests they have to get out in ten minutes.
Over at the Royal Albert Hall, which is 150 years old and mentioned in a Beatles song. Marissa is setting up for the party. Everyone who’s anyone will be there. Except Juliet. Caroline says she needs champagne to get her through the afternoon. Lady Julie is excited because soon she will have a box of her very own at the RAH. And Annabelle explains that Marissa suffers from upper-middle-class aspirations, or, UMCA. Later, the ladies have a moment of pity for Juliet who wasn’t born or married into British high society.
It’s a dark and rainy night, Juliet meets her husband, Gregor, for dinner. (I just can’t do Gregor-sorry). It’s just the two of them, Juliet and Greg, having a romantic dinner when their kid calls asking if he can sleep with them. Juliet is still wounded by Marissa’s rejection. Greg recommends that his wife sit down with Marissa and cut out the drama with a hug.
Caroline is at her office and business doesn’t seem to be going well. They have been missing shipping deadlines, she is running out of funding, the watches aren’t ready, and the crocodile bags are going to cost $200K. Several people will be fired, so bah humbug to Caroline McScrooge. She hates Christmas. Maybe that’s why this is happening. Has someone lost their Christmas magic? Click your heels three times. That might help.
In a café, Juliet has followed Greg’s advice and asked Marissa to meet for tea. Juliet asks if their broken friendship is repairable. When Juliet mentions not being invited to the Albert Hall, Marissa doesn’t want to discuss it. But Juliet does. It’s the whole reason they are sitting there drinking Earl Grey. Marissa explains every time she tries to do something nice for Juliet, it backfires. Juliet apologizes and blames Caroline S for insisting that she allow her to throw a Thanksgiving/birthday party for her. Marissa says she no longer finds their friendship fulfilling. Juliet says they’ve been holding onto something that’s gone. They demote their bff status to, f. Sounds like they’ve lost that lovin’ feeling and it’s gone, gone, gone.
Tune in next week when it’s New Years Eve with plenty of cheers and plenty of tears.