RECAP: Real Housewives of New York “The Cavi-Art of War” [Episode 8]

Posted on May 27 2015 - 7:10am by Dani-K

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On this week’s episode of the “Real Housewives of New York,” the ladies seem a little off. Ramona is sick. Carole is becoming politically correct. And Bethenny is making an effort – sort of. Is it crazy that Sonja is the most normal? The episode begins with, Ramona meets Dorinda for lunch and talks of being so determined to meet single men that she’ll even go to a party sick. Germs and all. But Ramona’s trying, and that’s what is important. For Dorinda’s upcoming birthday, she’s invited the ladies to her home in the Berkshires. Ramona tells Dorinda she’s so excited. Remember Ramona’s last trip to the Berkshires where she ordered an air-conditioner and became so manic about her childhood that she chartered a flight out of there? Good times. Mario’s name comes up and Dorinda asks Ramona multiple questions about him. The answer to all of the questions is, “I don’t know.”

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Dorinda mentions that she’s on her way to see John. This is Ramona’s cue to pick up her phone and look distracted. Ramona thinks John is “okay” but lot’s of her friends would prefer not to be seated by him at a dinner party. How’s that for a ringing endorsement.

Speaking of endorsements, Carole is running for a board position in her building of 30 residents. She’s holding a meeting with top New York City political consultants recommended by friends at ABC news. Also there to lend support is Heather, her husband Jonathan, and RamonaBreaking news! A new person has thrown their hat into the ring at the 11th hour. This person is considered a “board favorite” even though he doesn’t live in the building anymore. Carole’s platform for “transparency” is apparently making some people nervous.

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When Carole’s campaign strategist asks if there are any negative whispers about her, turns out the answer is yes. You see, from time to time, Carole forgets her key. The other night, around three or four in the morning, Carole had to call the fire department to open the door. Not like they have real people in dangerous situations to save. Unfortunately, in the process of jimmying the lock, the firemen damaged it. Carole paid for it, though they tried to charge her extra. Lot’s of people lose their first political elections. Happens all the time.

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Bethenny visits with Dr. Amador for her post Miami-trip session. She doesn’t like the tie he’s wearing because she’s never seen him in a tie. When he presses her to dig deeper about her visit with her stepfather, Bethenny bites his head off and calls it survival. She describes a scary scene as a five year-old girl watching her mother being dragged away by her stepfather. The tears flow. This is what the doc wants. For Bethenny to feel and to trust, not just to describe. We witness a tiny breakthrough.

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‘Sonja in the City’ is having an event. She is on the cover of the magazine, Latino Show. According to her interns, Sonja has a very big Latin following. And she’s wearing a beautiful, red silk dress from her collection. Ramona is confused about what they are supporting Sonja for. The collection? The magazine? And points out that Sonja’s not Latin. The photos inside the magazine are gorgeous, though Heather has some criticism. First, an add is not a collection. And by the way, Mama, the fan was set too high in that one photo. Heather then asks Sonja’s team if K-Mart is the store they are selling Sonja’s “collection” to. Really, Heather? K-Mart? You know Sonja is all about affordable luxury. At least say Target.

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Carole is throwing an election-results party at her apartment. Her friend is there with her adorable little boy, but Carole’s apartment is about as kid-proof as a knife factory. I’m nervous just watching this scene. Bethenny is first to arrive. Carole is serving pigs-in-a-blanket, frozen for the past two years, in her kitchen, though people say she doesn’t have a kitchen. Bethenny is impressed she admitted to using frozen food. Carole is all about transparency. Bethenny jokes about a bj under the desk, but it’s not funny, even though Carole finds it hilarious.

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What is funny, is both Luann and Sonja are surprised that Carole, the woman who doesn’t get up until noon and hits on the hired help, would be interested in politics. Heather wants to get Maleficent’s head tattooed on her hip. Ramona won’t kiss and tell about her recent date. Kristen apologizes to Sonja about her lack of support. And other random stuff happens. When Heather asks Bethenny about her custody situation, and Bethenny somewhat answers, it’s clear that Heather and Bethenny will never be close. It’s like Heather is trying to be Jill Zarin – and we all know how that turned out. Good news! The results are in! Carole has won! Let’s get drunk!

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After her sweeping political success, Carole joins Bethenny to go furniture shopping. Bethenny likes Carole’s eclectic style. And let’s face it, Carole’s inability to go deep ability to have fun is just what Bethenny needs. Carole is keeping things light, but Bethenny becomes teary-eyed when asking if the other ladies find her aloof. Carole confirms they do and asks if Bethenny is about to cry. Bethenny says no, but then cries when explaining why she can’t go to the Berkshires. It’s her time with her daughter. When Carole asks if Bethenny needs a hug, she is relieved when the answer is no. Instead, Carole presents Bethenny with a $2 napkin to blow her nose into. Now that’s a friendship in the making. Maybe someday they’ll hug it out. Or more.

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Luann has booked a private room in the bunker of a restaurant for Dorinda’s birthday. Heather is there with her husband. Ramona brings a date who she met after complimenting his shirt. And the other ladies either couldn’t make it or weren’t invited. Dorinda and John arrive and John looks sort of handsome. The caviar/vodka girl from yester-year arrives and Heather announces she’s a caviar whore.

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When John leaves to go to the bathroom (because Bravo points it out) an argument between Ramona and Luann ensues…along with an abundance of confusion. Ramona is throwing someone under the bus, and just when I think it’s Luann, it turns out to be Dorinda. Didn’t see that coming. Basically the argument was about who detests Dorinda’s boyfriend, John, the most and who shared this information first.

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Dorinda is quick to tell everyone that she is 50 and no one is going to tell her who she can and can’t date. You rock, Dorinda! John enters the room and asks if he should be consulted on this subject. Luann says no. Ramona and Luann argue back and forth and by the end of the evening, I’m pretty sure Ramona’s date has sworn off complimentary shirts forever. Ramona toasts that if Dorinda’s happy, she’s happy. Luann instructs Ramona to sit her pretty self down so that she may shove her face in the caviar. Don’t you love how the rich party?!

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I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run. For more information, please visit me at:
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  • Livie1

    I fell asleep after the momentous, ground-breaking election night results gathering (sigh) so thanks Dani for the recap. Not sure now if it’s worth the effort to watch the rest of this episode as it sounds like the same old, same old.

    That war room scene with Carole and her…plotters. Speechless, that being me left speechless. Attention Bravo: this was boring at it’s finest, please refrain in the future from showing such drivel.

    • Jennymckitty

      I know I am in the minority, but I love this season. Minimal drama. Watching the scene with Bethenny and Carole at the furniture shop was unintentionally funny. Both of them are so uncomfortable with feelings and displaying emotions. If Bethenny had been a bomb about to explode, Carole would have been more comfortable.

      • Livie1

        Rats Jenny, I fell asleep before the Bethenny/Carole scene happened! Yeah that twosome, I can just imagine the comfort level there – lol!! That they are both attention hounds, well two of those in the same space is never easy 😉

    • Dani-K

      So I have this theory that Carole also used “plotters” to find her platform this season and they decided that she be the “transparent provocateur.” Sheesh. Turn it down, will ya, Carole!

      • Livie1

        Oh wow Dani, now that’s an angle that hadn’t occurred to me!!! I bet you’re right! She’s gotten herself some HANDLERS to advise what ‘character’ she should play this season. Now it all makes sense!! I wish I could bump this up to the top of the thread – you’re very insightful with that comment!!

  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap! they were all over the place this episode.. Methenny having a meltdown in the furniture store and The Beave looking like WTF do I do? Here is a napkin…Meth so cheap she as like I may have to pay for that (as she wears those hella expensive red boots)….priceless. Methenny is really trying way too hard..she needed the big payday so she signed up but I really think she should have sat this season out..she.Is.A.Mess
    why is Kristen still on the show?
    Sonja..gurl..just continue to party..that’s what you do and look good doing it.
    Dorinda tries to act all though but deep down she is just as insecure as the next old heaux (and she was lying about her age ..she is much older than 50 (this was only filmed last November). Her socialie page says so…she hangs on to John (who bolted as soon as the skinny caviar girl left the room — to go to “the bathroom”) is so she can get clothes and so she has a man..any man will do.
    Ramona is just a liar..period. Nutbag…I was rooting for her but then this…
    Heather needs to keep her big nose out of folks business. U are not an authority on EVERY SUBJECT.
    Carole..I can’t..you need to just quit…that campaign meeting for the board seat….please. #BadActress

    • Livie1

      YES, the board seat thing – just what you said, such a staged scene. Cringe-worthy.

    • Dani-K

      Ronnie – I thought the same thing about John leaving right after the caviar girl, but wasn’t sure if it was an obvious attempt by Bravo to put him in a bad (or worse) light.
      And yes, Ramona, what a mess!

    • Chloe

      Dorinda’s boyfriend looks like he sweats mayonnaise.

    • TopGear

      The editing make it look as though Dorinda’s sleazy boyfriend got up to follow the caviar server out of the room.

      • DJ49

        Maybe he did.

  • Guardian

    Thank you for the recap Dani – I started to watch last night but, as with last week, just couldn’t get into it. Don’t know about anyone else, but this particular franchise seems to be headed for a long, slow death.

  • T’s Martini Lounge

    If Bethenny is so concerned about not spending enough time with her kid or how she spends her time and with who, then why is she back on a reality show complaining about it? Ah yes, to promote her brand and stroke her ego. So over this skinny annoying bitch. Again, STFU Bethenny!

    • Livie1

      Nailed it.

    • Yes sir! Preach.

  • WaWaWaWHAT!

    This episode left me confused…and not interested
    I thought this was supposed to be an AMAZING season… #LiesByBravo

    • Hey Wawa! Hopefully it’ll pick up pace like Beverly Hills did. Oh boy did BH pick up! *Fingers crossed*

    • Dani-K

      Me too, Wawa. I’m ready for the trip where LuMann says “be cool, don’t be like, uncool.”

  • Great recap, Dani-K!

    What does Kristin add to the cast? She’s boring and has no story line. She needs to go. The ding bat doesn’t understand the concept of having her kids full-time and Bethenny having her daughter part-time are two different things. As Heather aka Gonzo, I wish she would quit calling everyone mama….she’s not from the hood and like Ramona said, she’s not a rapper…best line of series yet.

    • Livie1

      That mama thing goes right into the catagory of calling someone Hon, do that and steam comes out of my ears.

      • Yeah but “mama” irks me more. It’s a ghetto hood slang used in NY a lot and not in the circles Heather runs in. Heather is such a fake.

        • Livie1

          Making note to self never to call Seuss “mama”

          (Not that I ever would!!)

        • DJ49

          I’m sick of hearing “Holla” too!

    • Raine Woman

      Hi’ya Doc! You and the Seussettes okay with all that rain?

      🙂

      • Awww, thank you so much for caring and asking. We’re all safe but the city is a mess. I really appreciate you enquiring about me and the family. Thank you, Raine Lady. ♥︎

        • Sophia Z.

          Are you in Texas? Glad you are ok.

          • Yes and thanks sweet Sophia. What a mess!!!

          • Dani-K

            So crazy! You’d think it was a level 1 hurricane that his Texas!

          • It certainly reminded me of tropical storm Allison. Just nuts!!

          • Sophia Z.

            I’m in the hill country NW of Austin. Still not enough rain to fill the lakes from this 7 year drought. I hope though that all is well with you.

          • DJ49

            I have an ex-boyfriend from MANY years ago who lives in Austin. He emailed me the other night and said he was out hunting on a ranch that belongs to a friend of his, so I asked him if he was wearing scuba gear.

          • Sophia Z.

            LMAO! It took me a minute to get that. Good one!

          • DJ49

            Glad you liked it!

        • Raine Woman

          You don’t need to thank me, Mama (I HAD to do do it). I heard Texas was flooding and I didn’t know if Seusses liked water.

          Glad to hear you’re safe! 🙂

    • Sophia Z.

      Hi there, Seuss! I agree with you about Kristen. She adds nothing to the show and constantly stirs the pot with a fake attitude of all smiles. So annoying! And as far as Heather goes, same. That comment about Sonja and her dresses going into K-Mart was passive aggressive and just shocking. I saw the true Heather in that. Just nasty. If she doesn’t know fine silk then she is the one shopping at K-Mart. Not that it is bad, just the tone of the comment.

      • Hi Sophia! Hope you’re having a great hump day.

        In the words of Judge Judy….Kristen is a complete idiot….case closed! LOL. Kristen adds NOTHING to this show. And her husband is reptilian looking dbag.

        I’m sure Bethany has a nanny but has to split her time with her daughter with her ex.. Bethany made the right choice. Spending time with her daughter comes before hanging with these bishes.

        • Sophia Z.

          LMAO Kristen = M-O-R-O-N. I’m thinking about the wine glass being thrown at her. While it was completely inappropriate and highly toxic. She wouldn’t let it die down after an apology. She milked that for all it was worth. It’s no excuse for assault – but let it go?

          • HAHAHA! Ok don’t judge me but I laughed at the glass throw. It seemed really harmless and Ramona had my ROFL cracking up that entire episode. The glass wasn’t even glass…it was a plastic cup.

          • Sophia Z.

            Well, I was trying to be PC about it. But you’re right, it was hilarious after I found out she was ok. I didn’t know it was a plastic cup. Now it’s even more hilarious.

        • Livie1

          Judy, erm, I mean JUDGE Judy. My idol when it comes to plain-speak.

      • Livie1

        Wasn’t Heather something?? That was so uncalled for, that snotty snipe about K-mart.

        • Sophia Z.

          Hi Live! I hope you are well.
          When I was growing up I attended a very wealthy district high school. That comment made by Heather reminded me of comments insecure adolescents make.

          • Livie1

            Yeah, I doubt she ever asked Diddy if his stuff was in KMart. That was definitely meant as a mean little dig. So juvenile.

          • Sophia Z.

            I hope you are doing well with your minor thingy. I’m thinking about you. xox
            Blanco is very close to me. I heard that they had a couple of tornados today?!?! Outside of town in fields, of course so no worries. It’s very pretty there.

    • Dani-K

      Thanks Seuss! Andy said that what makes a good housewife is to have a natural connection to the other ladies. I have totally forgotten if Kristen knew anyone before getting on the show. I don’t think so. And the fact that I can’t remember her speaks volumes.

      • You’re welcome Dani-K and I hope you and your family are safe.

        • James Bogdan

          I remember lying in my room when I was in high school and writing in a journal to my future husband. I’d write all sorts of notes and questions and things I’d wonder or ask this man when I eventually met him. I would wonder where he was and what he was doing and if he was thinking about me too. It has always been such a strong desire in my heart to find a wonderful man to marry, someone who would love me and cherish me and appreciate me for the person I am. I always thought I would get married right out of college, just like my parents, so when that plan didn’t work out, I started to get discouraged. A school mate snatched my future husband away from my arms just because she had spiritual powers, all hope was lost to me before i came across the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@yahoo.com) who i confided in, i told him my long story and he helped me regain back my lover with his prayers which is now my husband today. if you have any problem email the help doctor (prayerstosaverelationship@yahoo.com).k

      • Rosa

        Heather and Kristen’s husband had worked together in the past and threw him she became friendly with Kristen.

  • colleen

    Thanks for the weekly recap of “What the hell is Betheny saying?” If not for you, I wouldn’t catch a thing she says!

    • Dani-K

      ROFL!

  • Livie1

    Is Carole running for board member of the Best Little Whorehouse in NYC? Looks like it from that wallpaper and room decor in the “war room.”

    • Chloe

      Lmao, even her outfit seemed 42nd street dominatrix.

  • Chloe

    Thanks for the recap Dani-K. What is Heather’s problem? She’s so fake and never genuinely happy for anyone. Her snarky little comments adds nothing to the show.

    • Livie1

      And she looks like a goodwill store version of Carmen Sandiego in that get up she was wearing to Sonja’s event. That or her grandma dressed her, can’t decide 😉

      • Chloe

        I agree with you, lol. She gets on my nerves. She complains about everything. Miss Wannabe, always sticking her NOSE in business that don’t concern her.

    • Dani-K

      Chloe, I take each week as it comes and like to think that I don’t really target any of the ladies – but looking back at my recaps for this season it seems that every week I’m (somewhat) picking on Heather. I feel she is bringing it on herself and you’ve touched on exactly what is wrong. I smell a cast revamp for next year. lol.

  • TopGear

    I don’t know what to make of Dorinda. But at least she saw through Ramona’s attempt to blame Luann for stuff Ramona said. That’s vintage shady Ramona.

    • HoyesMiGente

      Yes indeed it was. And Luann is a shadester too–she just flies under the radar most of the time.

  • italiano bambino

    I might be a few people who like Bethany I find her self talks funny n her seems she’s trying with the new people. I find her therapy sessions very raw and different from the other wives. Hopefully she finds peace with her divorce situation and that kid be very happy.

  • Trippinhhard

    Thanks for the recap—-Dani K I can’t watch the show Bethanny whining upset my stomach..
    I’m in agreement with Bethanny only about having her child on weekends—something doesn’t add up.. But I that’s all the time I would get, the hell with those blabbing huzzies..
    Heather and Carol makes me sic under Bethany, they are trying to hard to be something they aren’t. LyAnn is trying to change, but I remember her covering up a lot of mess, so she nothing to me either., Sonja must have the new so called experts, like she has interns, on loner.. LMAS but I did like two of her blouses, that was shown on this site.. Romona, I could stand Mario from the 1st season, he looks women up and down while out with you.. My brother (RIP) was a Baptist Minister with several Degrees, we asked him to renew our vows for our 25th wedding anniversary, he flat out said NOWAY, get in y’all knees to The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit and renew y’all vows.. Everyone he’s every renewed, they were divorced in 2 yrs.. Roman was always the money winner and just get rid of that dead head and Pray, Jesus will send you someone…who did I miss????
    Ummmm I know Romona is off the chain sometimes, but she did live Mario the womanizer..now this is just what I saw…