RECAP: Real Housewives of New York – Bethenny Opens Up About Her Dysfunctional Childhood [Episode 7]

Posted on May 20 2015 - 6:49am by Dani-K

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Happy birthday Ramona! For she’s a jolly good fellow who’s throwing a luncheon for 30 of her closest friends, plus the housewives. When Heather says, “Hi, Mama!” to Bethenny, Bethenny is immediately annoyed. Ramona sympathizes and tells Bethenny she doesn’t understand that whole “Holla!” thing either. 

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Sonja has arrived and is speaking with a swami priestess about a daily hit of stabilized meditation to find her vortex of energy. And this is in addition to the psycho-pharmacologist she is also seeing. The two plan to light candles and talk more later.

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Dorinda shares a story with Kristen, Heather and Carole over lunch about going back to an architect’s home late one night who had a shower in the middle of the room. The architect suggested they get crazy and get into the shower, but apparently Dorinda declined. No word on what John wanted to do, but I think we can guess. Heather says Dorinda runs with a racy crowd and Carole asks if she and John are swingers. Dorinda says no, she’s too competitive.

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On the other end of the room, Sonja is telling Bethenny that their conversation in A.C. is spinning off into a whole new conversation. The swami priestess wants Sonja to go away to meditate and journal. Just what Sonja needs – another project! Sonja tells Bethenny not to worry, she’s got it under control. In the confessional, though, Sonja explains that her family history is nothing like Bethenny’s so Bethenny needs to stop projecting. 

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Bethenny sits with birthday girl, Ramona, and tells her they should get together soon to discuss their similar circumstances a.k.a. nasty divorces. Bethenny mentions Mario and Ramona doesn’t flinch like she usually does, but does inform Bethenny there will be no discussing Mario on her birthday. Ramona gives a toast about shit happening and girlfriends getting you through it all. Then Ramona cuts a piece of cake and places the entire knife into her mouth, eating the cake. Lets just say, Mario probably misses some things about Ramona.

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It’s time for Bethenny’s therapy session. The discussion is on life’s transitions, her failed talk show and failed marriage. As Charles Dickens would say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Bethenny isn’t ready to add any new bff’s or bf’s into her life right now. The doc tells her it’s not about trusting others, but trusting yourself. (Maybe this is who Sonja should see.) Bethenny announces her intentions to reconnect with her step-father, the only father figure she’s ever had, while in Miami. They haven’t seen each other in 20 years due to her being “attacked” by him and have only recently started speaking again. Bethenny wants to give her daughter roots and branches, positive and negative.

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Get ready to rumble! Carole’s new sport is boxing after mixing testosterone supplements with boxing documentaries. But the only way to watch a match is from the front row. So that’s where Carole, Kristen, Luann and Ramona go sit. Kristen isn’t really into this fighting stuff. Or so she says. It’s as if Elvis has walked into the room because suddenly Kristen is yelling and cheering and throwing jabs in the air while the spit from the boxers hit her. Such fun.

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They will meet Heather afterwards for drinks, but Bethenny couldn’t come out tonight because she has her daughter. In a private interview, Kristen says that she doesn’t want to judge, but… Anytime someone begins with this statement, here comes the judgment. Kristen doesn’t understand why Bethenny doesn’t make the effort to get a babysitter like she does, and Kristen has two kids. Umm, hello? Is anyone there, Kristen? You have your kids 100% of the time while Bethenny has her daughter 50% of the time. Do the math.

At the bar, Kristen orders mint tea and brings up the taboo subject of Adam. The table gets very quiet. He’s in Nicaragua with his ex, Luann’s niece, saving the world one honey jar at a time. Ramona asks Luann how she feels about this. When Luann describes Adam as “Sonja young” Carole is disgusted and shuts down the topic of Adam being “Sonja young.” Heather proclaims that this is the happiest she’s ever seen Carole, so this makes Heather very happy. 

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The others mumble something about wanting Carole to be happy, too and Carole concedes that she wishes Adam were 20 years younger. Oops. Freudian slip. She meant older. (But not really.)

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Bethenny is in Miami for girls weekend with her high school friends. What Bethenny lacks in family, she makes up for in friends. Teri and Bethenny discuss her step-father, John, and the incredible dysfunction that ensued through her formative years. Having said that, Bethenny tells Teri that her divorce is ten times worse.

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Back in NYC, Dorinda is there to work out with Ramona. Dorinda hasn’t worked out in two years and prefers shapewear and corsets. Ramona shares that she’s been going out a lot and has a date later tonight. She keeps repeating, “I’m dating now! I’m dating now!” Ramona thinks Dorinda’s boyfriend is crass and doesn’t truly care for her, but doesn’t tell Dorinda outright, though Dorinda knows. A flashback is shown of Ramona trying to avoid a kiss from John.

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Bethenny and Luann meet up in Miami at an art show that Luann’s daughter Victoria is showing her work at. There are weird, naked people right when you walk in. There’s also a fully nude painting of Victoria that supports the no-waxing movement. But mom Luann is so proud that Victoria has turned into a decent human being, tears come to her eyes. It’s almost like Luann didn’t think it possible. They discuss Bethenny’s lack of effort to be with the other girls and that Bethenny should try a  little harder when she doesn’t have her daughter. Bethenny agrees and then shoves a whole ice-cream sandwich into a clown’s mouth for three dollars, knocking off his red nose.

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There’s a quick scene showing Carole staring at her computer screen, waiting for creativity to strike. Adam calls from Nicaragua and Carole is happy for the interruption. They joke and laugh, Facetime and Intagram, but Carole misses the weight of his body, apparently not so much the weight of his words.

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Bethenny meets with her step-father John by the shore. John trains horses, just like Bethenny’s real father used to. And that’s how John and Bethenny’s mom met. Bethenny acknowledges that she wouldn’t be who she is today without her jacked up childhood filled with abuse, alcohol, and gambling, but she questions what kind of mother would do this to her child? John drops the bombshell that Bethenny’s mom never wanted a child.

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For the first time ever I want to give Bethenny a hug, prickly thorns and all. Bethenny says she’s trying to make sense of it all, but John doesn’t understand this concept. He comes form the “get over it” generation. Bethenny starts speaking at a rapid fire pace, saying that she can’t have sex with a man or trust a man until then. John explains that to him Bethenny is attacking her past, not trying to understand it. They both agree that holding onto anger is like drinking a glass of poison everyday. Bethenny and John hug it out and as they walk away together, Bethenny seems hopeful that she’s one step closer to understanding it all.

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  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap!
    It is clear why Methenny is so phucked up and she is projected onto Sonja..even though Sonja is 50 shades of cray cray but harmless. The fact that the only family you can go to is someone you claimed attacked you, but you want your daughter around it…hunny you were not broke..the financials were released and when you met Jason you were worth 22 million…you did not amast 22 million in 6 years (BEFORE the Skinnygirl revolution). You always had money..you just wanted to appear “real”…the only thing real about you is your painful past of dysfunction. Welcome to real life girl…I would love to be broke with 22 million…IJS
    Kristen..just stop and take your chin with you….brining up Adam…#MessyBish
    Heather, irritating or not, you can say Mama, Holla or whatever you want. If they don’t like it, try saying Is Bitch Betta? ala Tre style….#Petty
    I guess Carole will continue to let us know she does drugs…Just stop it Beave
    Luann is proud her daughter is not longer sending racist rants online…good for her..now she is just a nudie patootie — and guzzling champs like no tomorrow at the tender age of 20…Cheers!
    Dornida…lol
    Glad Ramona shut it down with the Mario talk….At 57 she looks fabulous! Everyone could be so lucky.

    • Dani-K

      Thanks Ronnie! I thought the same thing about Carole and her drugs. lol!

    • T’s Martini Lounge

      Agree on all points!

    • Rochelle Barozzi

      BOOOOM!!!!!

    • smallfries

      Drops mic

  • Ilivehereandlikeit

    Carole and that dumbass hat, I just can’t with her anymore….

    • dj j

      she is an old hag who thinks she is hotter than she really is. She thinks she can compete with younger women, and gets off on the competition, even though it makes her look desperate

      • Livie1

        Desperate is a perfect word to describe her!

  • Chloe

    Great recap, Dani-K.

    Kristen is a dingbat.
    Kristen dear, sometimes mommies and daddies get divorced. When they do, it means that little kids spend half the time with mom and the other half with dad.

    Bethany needs to stop complaining, she’s such a control freak no wonder her marriage didn’t work.

    What is with that hat Carole is wearing? She’s looks utterly ridiculous.

    • Dani-K

      So funny that on WWHL the vote of the night was which single NY housewife should be the next bachelorette? Bethenny won the vote and Chris Harrison was not having any of it! Can you imagine?!

  • CoBe

    Just because it mentioned horse trainers and abuse, if you haven’t seen the movie “Buck” on Netflix, it is one of the best movies/documentaries I’ve ever seen.

    I dare you not to all out sob.

    I loathe Bethenny and think her problems stem more from drug abuse than parental abuse, but it might be something good for her to watch.

  • side of Sour Cream

    I have similar childhood issues as Bethenny so I can totally understand her point of view. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give YOURSELF is to forgive them–and let them back in your life. I don’t know why it works, but it does. Maybe because you slowly take your power back?
    Anyway, I enjoyed this episode and re-cap. I felt the same towards Bethenny about the “mom never wanted a child” remark. Since she has had Brynn that knowledge is probably extra painful.
    Heather is annoying. If an acquaintance called me “mama” I would start calling her grandma!–or better yet, grandpa! hahaha!

  • T’s Martini Lounge

    Too much Bethenny, she has taken over. I’m more interested in the others. Bethenny was just telling Sonja to get over her 10 year ago marriage, but now she’s rehashing her childhood? Maybe you should get over it B!

    • Dani-K

      Boom! So true.

  • Yolie

    Carole needs to lay off the plastic surgery and get over herself. Can’t fix ugly. Sorry.

  • CNN

    Luann does have a reason to be upset. It is “classless” to date a person that has attachments to a girlfriend. It makes Carol look desperate for love. She didn’t take into account Luann’s feelings or decided it didn’t matter. Her sexual feelings were more important than her friends feelings. Carole, lost my respect. She is no princess.

  • RubyT

    Is this an attempt to humanize bethenny? It’s not working for me.

    • dj j

      She has been incessantly selling stories every day to the tabloids trying to rehabilitate her image. Today it was that she is such a great mom that she doesn’t use any nannies. (yeah that is what assistants are for, right?) I’m sick of every RHONY show is an ad for skinny girl, and a dig at her ex, and a ptich to show what a great mom she is. She is only using the show for free publicity to sell more stuff, and try to win over potential customers

  • Susan Thorne Zavagli

    Carole did have plastic surgery …right…..someone in comments mentioned it and her eyes look different….she needs braces on the bucky beaver teeth

    • She Codes

      Carole’s face honestly gives me the creeps. Something is wrong with the skin… like she got an excellent face transplant from a woman about 20 lbs heavier than her.

    • dj j

      her beaver teeth were worse last season, I think she is doing invisalign.

  • Rochelle Barozzi

    Bethany, get the eff over it. Enough, we all have had bad childhoods and bad tings happen. I had pretty much the same childhood as yours, with the physical abuse. GAWDDDDDDDDDD I am sick of her victims attitude. YOU choose to live in the past or not. You can’t understand it, it just was. Move the frack on!!!!!!!

    • THANK YOU!!! I just told a cousin of mine (who’s 65) the same thing when he started harping on his childhood. Geez get over it !

      • Rochelle Barozzi

        My sister is the same way…hence me not having anything to do with her as she uses alcohol like my parents did! Der….I am better than my childhood. I don’t need to go reliving and talking about it. It is done, I chose to move on. People like this use it as an excuse to do stupid stuff. I believe in taking responsibility for your actions, childhood didn’t make ya do anything LOL. Put yer damn big girl/boy panties on and CHOOSE JOY!

        • dj j

          Her life would be so much better, if she made up with her mom, AND the father of her daughter. Stop fighting! You have enough money to go around, you will not notice it!! it isn’t worth it, you only live once. When you do that, and have harmonious life with you ex, you will have a tremendous weight off your shoulders, and most of all, your daughter will thrive

        • Dani-K

          I love what you said about being better than your childhood. The thing is, life is full of trade-offs and I have yet to meet someone who has it all because they don’t recognize the gifts right in front of their face, too busy harping about what’s missing. Choose joy!!!

        • jane

          Love what you have to say Rochelle! Absolutely great advice.

  • Trippinhhard

    I can’t stand to hear Bethanny’s voice at ALL, sounds like the sound when you scratch the blackboard.. She needs to trey the hell over her childhood, plenty of kids have worse childhoods than this boney as bitch can fathom.. Try living in the ghetto and never knowing, if you will live or die trying to go to school.. I don’t think any man can stomach her for too long.. Get over it I’ve heard it all.. She needs to forgive and move along, just wait until her daughter get older.. Just stop talking about it, you’re a grown ass woman, still holding a grudge.. UGH

    • dj j

      She sold a story to ROL today saying she had a “horrific” childhood, and that she is basically an orphan. i take great umbrage to that, my best friend grew up in the foster care system, and was finally adopted at age 13. Not once have I heard her complain about her childhood. She probably paid that guy to help her cause, she can forgive this guy but not her own mother? She causes the strife in her life, she can choose to forgive, rather than blame, she could have a great mother in law too. She just wants people to feel sorry for her, which I have NONE. She has sold a story to ROL the past 3 days trying to change people’s idea of who she really is. Jason isn’t doing that. She doesn’t want to get a babysitter, because she wants people to think she is some great mom…yeah right.

      • Trippinhhard

        I been said this honey heffer is a grudge holder.. I don’t want to hear anything she has to say. My mother would say, tell that to someone with no ears, I know better.. Meaning when one know better, they do what is right. I actually feel sorry for her mother, every mother is NOT meant to be a parent.. This crap is too old, to keep talking about the same damn thing…IJS

      • Livie1

        I take umbrage to her use of orphan too dj. My dad was an orphan, not the “basically an orphan” variety either! I’m sure he could fill Bethanny in on what being a real orphan really is like.

  • Jennymckitty

    I’m probably in the minority, but I’m enjoying all the women this season. None of them are perfect, but who is? I like the way they get along as a group. No one is trying to score the villain role. It is a nice change.

    • Dani-K

      Jenny what an interesting point about “scoring the villain role.” You are right. The other cities have them – but so far – not NYC!

      • Jennymckitty

        Thanks Dani. I feel Aviva tried to assume it but wasn’t very good at it. Everyone that really knew her said that she didn’t act like this in real life.