Real Housewives of New York Recap: Bethenny Versus Heather! [Episode 4]

Posted on Apr 29 2015 - 5:05am by Dani-K

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It’s a beautiful autumn day on “The Real Housewives of New York” and Heather and Carole are meeting for coffee and girl-talk in the park. Does it bother anyone besides me how Heather calls everyone, “Mama?” The friends sit on a bench and Carole informs Heather that she is officially dating Luann’s private chef, Adam. Carole and Adam will forever have a wonderful first-date story to share with the world (said extreme sarcasm).

They attend a Halloween party at Carole’s friend’s club. Carole drank two tequilas and ate one gummy bear. Turns out that gummy bear was laced with LSD. Girl was trippin’ hard. Ghosts and goblins were moving in slow motion so Carole had to get out and get some air. Adam hails a peticab, but the motion is not working for Carole. She pukes everywhere. On herself. On Adam. On the peticab. But here’s the great news according to Carole, men, especially young men, don’t mind when a woman throws up because it “makes her seem vulnerable.” Here’s the thing, there were no cameras, no production crew, so why would Carole admit to any of this? To come off as the edgy girl who prefers all play and no work? #Epicfail

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Over at Bethenny’s hotel she’s getting ready for the birthday dinner party that she’s throwing for herself. Every girl should look great on her birthday and Bethenny is rocking the black and silver jumper. Sonja arrives first with boytoy Dominik she picked up at the boutique club. Ramona arrives and gives Bethenny the biggest hug, clinging to her, telling her she looks like a Roman goddess. When Luann arrives she is not surprised to see the other boytoy from the boutique club because she and Sonja are men magnates. Soon it’s invasion of the boytoys when Sonja’s boytoy invites a boytoy of his own. Bethenny is not happy that the plus 1 has invited a plus 1, but gives a great speech explaining that normally birthdays are challenging for her, but this one is great, “So take your clothes off!” No word if Carole handed out a gummy bear to boytoy #3 for not knowing of Jordache jeans, if she’s even pronouncing it correctly.

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We visit Kristen at her home. Good thing, because I totally forgot she was still on this show. Her big scene is having her nanny cook dinner that she can reheat later for Josh and pretend she made it. Kristen calls Heather and Heather tells of the last minute invite to Bethenny’s birthday party. When Kristen learns that Ramona was invited and she wasn’t, she looks like she’s going to cry, but instead Kristen says she’s grateful for a night of doing nothing. Thankfully, her nanny slash cook also triples as a therapist. After Kristen gives the details of the situation, she asks how this would make her nanny feel. The nanny gives Kristen the pearls of wisdom, “Who cares.”

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Over at Dorinda’s place, she and her daughter Hannah are chatting about future nursing homes for Dorinda. Perhaps a place on the beach. Dorinda tells Hannah that she will have a young boyfriend. Hannah laughs and calls her mom a “chubby-chaser” and explains that Dorinda has no interest in a hot, fit guy. Dorinda agrees. For now, keeping her two lives separate works for Dorinda, and that means John doesn’t get to sleep over much.

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There next two scenes are short, one with Ramona and her dog Cocoa heading downtown. Now that Ramona doesn’t have to constantly monitor Mario’s whereabouts, she has all kinds of free time on her hands. So Ramona is now getting into the restaurant business with a place called AOA. She and her partner, Peter, flirt and I’m hoping Mario is watching and it bothers him.

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The next scene is with Carole and her barf buddy, Adam, who are going on a ping pong date. Carole likes Adam because he’s fun, nice, and brings no drama…except for the fact that he used to date Luann’s niece. But other than that, and the fact that he’s 29, no drama at all.

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Dorinda and John are going out for a nice dinner. Or so they think. John tells Dorinda he likes how she sparkles. They order martinis and Dorinda asks John if he’d like to come back to her place after dinner because Hannah won’t be home. John is happy. He tries to order his first choice meal for himself and his second choice meal for Dorinda so he can eat what she doesn’t. He certainly puts the chub in the chase, but Dorinda wants to order for herself this time. The conversation takes a downward twist when Hannah’s name is mentioned. John tells Dorinda not to let Hannah dictate her life. She tells John that he’s number two, so deal with it. As John is finishing both meals, he suggests that Dorinda call Hannah while she waits. Them are fighting words because Dorinda cuts him like the filet of sole John is inhaling. Dorinda won’t hold his hand and announces that Richard would never have said something like that. The sleep over is cancelled.

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The interstitial was barely worth mentioning, but here goes. At Bethenny’s dinner party, Bethenny made everyone get on the table and show your best move. And if you wouldn’t get on the table, you had to at least get on a chair. Luann will only dance on the chair and Sonja nearly falls off the table. Good times.

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Dorinda arrives first for dinner with Bethenny, Carole, and Heather. Bethenny and Dorinda bond over an upcoming sample sale. Dorinda and Carole bond over the word “late” when referring to their husbands. Bethenny thinks the word sounds old and needs to be re-branded. Dead husband? No. Deceased husband? No. How about perpetually postponed husband? Consider it rebranded. The conversation of burial versus cremation comes up and Carole shares a story that the church in England where her husband’s ashes are stored have contacted her because the church has been sold, time-share condos are going up, and please come get your urn. After bouncing from church to church, her husband’s ashes are now safe with a friend of Carole’s in England.

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Dorinda shares an awkward story about her daughter Hannah telling her FU about her boyfriend, John. Have you noticed when Dorinda becomes passionate in conversation, we get closed captioning on her? Heather wisely changes the subject to the unwise topic of Kristen’s hurt feelings over not being invited to “Beth’s” birthday bash. Bethenny pretends to fall asleep and tells Heather to wake her up when she’s not being ridiculous.

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Dorinda confirms that her feelings were hurt, but only for a moment. Bethenny explains that the other girls invites were spontaneous, and Heather was kind of Carole’s plus one, so get over it. Maybe if Sonja’s plus one hadn’t brought his plus one, Kristen could have been the plus, plus one, at the party. But if Heather is not careful, Bethenny’s going to demote her to a plus two? I think. It got a little confusing here. Heather then schools Bethenny on how to properly respond to others with sensitivity because she’s the sensitivity police, and by the way, who put Heather in charge of Bethenny’s guest list? Bethenny doesn’t even know Kristen. So, get over it, Heather. Please.

 

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I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run. For more information, please visit me at: Twitter* * Website* * Facebook*

  • LovelyAmberRose1

    I was so OVER Bethenny before but this bitch is killing it with the snark. She’s pulling me back in! Heather can’t handle Bethenny’s mouth. LOL

  • Lila

    Kristen acted like a kid not being invited to a classmate’s party. Ridiculous-grow up. Bethenny was right not inviting her, but could have expressed herself Not so rudly to Heather by pretending to sleep. Childish. Heather should have not said anything to her. A plus2 -haha. Love that.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Methenny has a bone to pick with Heathuh because as much as Meth tries to act like a down azz chick round the way gurl, Heathuh actually has street cred with Diddy and nem…

      • Bad Barbie

        LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • Dani-K

      Heather was out of line for mentioning not inviting Kristen. I wish Andy’s poll question on WWHL was which NY housewife do you find the most annoying? Of course, this changes from week to week, but Heather wins my vote this week.

  • colleen

    If B I o hell bent on telling it like it Is. tell the 24 our old model so crashedthe pRty

  • colleen

    if Beth is so into telling it like it is, she should’ve have told the 24 yet old party crashed to beat it. shme on Sonja f not telling Jr toy to tell the boy to lrave

  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap Dani-K!

    The NY bishes are hilarious and I do believe they are more shadier than RHOA ….Methenny is just ridiculous and she is determined to be the Queen Bish of the show, especially since Ramona is licking her wounds right now…and sucking up to any and everyone (but it was cute seeing her all giddy with her business partner who was hot and age appropriate.)
    Carole…gurl stop trying so dayum hard! She is dating the sous chef to piss off the Countess and to get in her business. I never remember seeing The Beave in Jordache Jeans ads/commercials so either she is lying or she wasn’t that significant. The fact that she hasn’t retrieved her dear late hubby’s ashes from England is telling….
    Heather, just stay in your lane beause motor-mouth Methenny is not gonna let you win. Never. She doesn’t care how she looks because at this point she has nothing to lose..and she has LOTS of money. Deadly combo.
    Poop Poor long chinned Kristen..the fact that you are discussing a non invite by from someone you don’t even know with the help speaks volumes….#PrettyIsPrettyNonExistent
    Dorinda..love her and you noticed how Methenny backed the hell down with her, huh? That bish is tuff.

    • Dani-K

      Ronnie you are so funny! Carole is trying sooo dayum hard to be relevant. Hey – let’s drop some acid everyone. Why? Why? Why? I used to think she was the smart one, but not anymore!

    • Rochelle Barozzi

      I do believe she is lying…I think I spelled her last name incorrect but pictures came up in images…but this is what I found..

      No results found for “carole radzwell” “jordache jeans” LOL

  • Ilivehereandlikeit

    Bethenny vs Heather. Wow, what a shocker!! 😉

    Most excellent recap Dani-K!!! I like reading your recaps BEFORE I watch the episodes now! -lol!

    • Dani-K

      Thank you!!! Heather has met her match.

  • Bad Barbie

    Carole’s husband… his ashes must be trying a way to become whole again. She is really embarrassing this season and thirsty for a story line. She is too old and wants to be so respected for her career and this is the way she acts?!

    • Chloe

      Carole really thinks she’s sexy and hot but she’s coming off more like desperate and delusional.

    • Susan Thorne Zavagli

      His mother, Lee R, sister of Jackie Kennedy, was not thrilled with his choice for a wife…..and now look at her, she should have been left on a bookshelf….his family must be devastated by her behavior

      • Bad Barbie

        That is what I thought that she was not well received. She also was bragging about her connection to the Kennedy’s when she came on the show and I may be wrong but I think they denied any “family” ties. LOL

        • Susan Thorne Zavagli

          she married into a family of blue bloods…like Sonja and have destroyed the good names with their outlandish behavior

  • Yolie

    Great recap. This cougar thing is bit ridiculous and embarrassing. Heather has finally met her match in Bethenny and it’s about time someone put Heather in check.

    • Chloe

      The ladies dating boys young enough to be their kids makes me embarrassed for them. Tacky !

      • Dani-K

        Me too! I don’t get why they don’t get that.

        • Susan Thorne Zavagli

          they think they are Sex in the City …menopausal HOT FLASHES……not Hot babes….just rich ….they can get more attention out of a dog…at least Dorinda is dating her chubby wubbie her age

    • Susan Thorne Zavagli

      I wish Aviva was back for one reason…..a showdown with Bethenny…..

  • MaryAnne Tillman

    Wake me up when this season is over!

  • Chloe

    Get her Bethenny. Heather deserves to be put her in her place. That holla bull crap is hella lame.

    • Lila

      Agree with the Holla. Now its Mama. I’m familiar with that term of endearment for years, and Understandable if she uses that term a lot but I’ve never heard her use it before.Holla Mama! lol

  • stella love

    my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 4 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR HENRY released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how love much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to DR HENRY for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the AGAGULOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM Are you undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. that is his email address AGAGULOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM

  • stella love

    my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my boyfriend who has not called me for past 4 years now, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to be my back bone till the rest of his life with me. DR HENRY released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him. And opened his eyes to picture how love much we have share together. As I`m writing this testimony right now I`m the most happiest girl on earth and me and my boyfriend is living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up. So that`s why I promised to share my testimony all over the universe. All thanks goes to DR HENRY for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is the AGAGULOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM Are you undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. that is his email address AGAGULOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM..

  • MidwestMiddie

    Great read, Dani-K!

    Disagree with you about Bethenny not inviting Kristen because she doesn’t know her.
    Bethenny is just rude and should have invited Kristen to get to know her better since
    she is part of the cast.
    Cracked me up —– Bethenny planning her own Birthday Party because …….. no
    one else cared enough about her to bother.
    She is such a witch!!!!

    • Susan Thorne Zavagli

      remember her birthday that Jason threw for her…she had a nervous meltdown…I am the same way..I would rather plan my own B’day

  • Susan Thorne Zavagli

    I’m sure if Kristen were at Boutique Bethenny would have invited her ..same goes for Dorinda…seems it was a spontaneous party Bethenny put together for her B’day…Kristen has no beef here..get over it…..

    • Susan Thorne Zavagli

      if Kristen were at Boutique she would have gotten a invite..it was a spur of the moment party informal..if you can come good if not ok……

  • Sophia Z.

    I’m all caught up on RHONY.. I missed last year when everyone said that Aviva was being weird. I never found her weird. Does everyone agree that Aviva was acting out of line and weird?

    • Hi Sophia! I loved Aviva last season. I don’t think she was weird at all. I do think she was picked on/bullied by Heather and Carole. Those 2 are obnoxious.

      • Sophia Z.

        Hi Seuss! Nice to see you. That’s what I thought, that someone was picking on her. I love Aviva. Her Dad was too weird for me but she seemed like a level headed and smart cookie. I’m sad that she is gone this season. Have you ever noticed that Heather looks like a man in some shots? She’s like Seinfeld’s weird date, one time she looks good and the next she looks scary. Anyway, I like Carol but she gets too snotty for her britches some times. She needs to cool her jets.