#ShahsofSunset Recap: The Shahs Celebrate Nowruz & Mike Argues About Fashion [Season 4 Premiere]

Posted on Mar 3 2015 - 1:58am by Wendy Owen

Shahs of Sunset - Season 4

A new year according to the Persian calendar, and Reza and Asa need to buy some gold. Like super-duper gold. As Reza tells it, Persian men only wear Rolex watches and drive black Mercedes. He picks up a nifty little presidential model in gold for $34k — most importantly because Adam has told him that after they’re married, he’s not allowed to spend more than $5k without asking him. I don’t think this marriage has a chance in hell.

Mike goes to his parents house to show them the engagement ring he bought, which last season looked like he couldn’t afford, but now he’s showing a big rock. Wonder how that came to be?

Shahs of Sunset

At GG‘s new place, Reza and MJ show up and decide that the whole thing has to be redone. They can’t throw out her knives though.

Our little MJ is still looking for love. This time, she’s on a picnic with a guy named Charlie, who looks like he came off JDate.com — like a round, doughy, balding, safe guy for when you’ve really, really given up. He’s also ten years younger than MJ. This looks promising.

Shahs of Sunset

Reza and Adam have a new pad and it’s decorated like, well, I’m not sure. Everyone’s coming over for Nowruz (New Year’s Day). Our new girl Asifa, who’s half Persian and half Indian, which means she’s Parsi, is hanging with the crew. She explains her background like this: “Who wouldn’t want to be like a giraffe and a lion. Like a gira-cheetah. A giraffe cheetah? I forgot what a giraffe looks like. Okay, I just remembered. Yeah, I’d be a cheetah-raffe.” Okay. Seems she knew Mike‘s old psycho girlfriend, so they have a history. There’s lots of food, and poor GG has trouble sitting because she just got an ass job. Mike and Jessica show up, looking happy because they haven’t been hanging out with everyone. MJ shows up without Charlie. Nowruz starts at 12 Iran time, so they’re counting down during the middle of day. They light candles. Seems rather dull.

Asa has her own little party, which involves jumping over fire in high heels, and a discussion of Mike‘s penis size. How did it come to this? Well, MJ sees Jessica eating a Dolma on a toothpick, it makes her think of BJs and she tells Mike he has an obsession with receiving BJs. Mike asks if MJ‘s ever given him a BJ, and Jessica screams, “For three years, the only person sucking his dick has been me!” Well, thank you, Jessica. I’m glad we’ve cleared that up before the wedding. I mean, she is converting to Judaism after all, isn’t she? MJ says that Jessica eating from a toothpick reminded Mike of BJ’s. Naturally, Asifa wants to know if Mike has a micro penis. Mike takes her seriously, and is really offended by the small penis question long after everyone else has moved on.

Shahs of Sunset

MJ‘s friend, Shervin, who’s actually a man and not a young boy, looks kinda like Mike, so everyone’s pointing that out. Shervin is actually better looking than Mike, and doesn’t look drunk. Mike tells us, “The more you drink, the less there looks like there’s tension, so one more for Mike.” MJ and Reza decide to ignore Mike and talk about the wedding planning, and Reza drops the bomb that MJ is his matron of honor and Asa is his boyfriend’s something – perhaps best man, which is appropriate since Asa looks like a man. Mike‘s girlfriend just looks like she can’t get far enough away from his drunk ass.

The party bus arrives, and, of course, Asa got the most obnoxious party bus ever. No one can ever accuse her of having sophisticated taste. Omar Khayyám is rolling over in his grave every time he sees or hears Asa. (By the way, why in hell is Asa wearing with the fake Chanel pin on the turban? Is she sniffing that diamond water piss?) The bus stops in front of some tacky Hollywood strip spot which looks like a big living room. Sliders, hors d’oeuvres and shooters – more class. Typical Asa.

Shahs of Sunset

Asifa‘s boyfriend, Bobby, shows up, and Mike makes it known that he had a beef with him in the past. Mike tells us that Asifa is apparently obsessed with his dick. Mike‘s pulls Reza aside to take a look at the vent on Bobby‘s jacket because it still has the sealing stitch on it. This makes Mike laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Reza‘s decides to fix the matter by taking a knife to the back of the Bobby‘s jacket, which makes Asifa threaten, “Anybody talks — says anything about my guy, I will ruin them, I’m telling you right now. Anybody.”

Shahs of Sunset

“What happened about your guy?” asks Reza“You and Mike started laughing, okay, and we knew why you were laughing,” she says. Reza replies, “Mike said something about him, you said something about Mike‘s dick.” Then Bobby joins in. ” The bottom line is when you walk into a room to meet new people, what you don’t want to hear is people sitting there worried about what f***ing jacket I’m wearing.” Mike shouts, “I’m dyin!” Reza goes into U.N. mode: “You came into a weird situation. Your woman speaks very highly of you and she’s clearly very over protective of you.” His woman says, “Someone needs to apologize — I’m not done until he apologizes.” Reza calls Mike over and his girlfriend follows. And here we go. Drunken Mike starts, “She was talking shit about me —“

Shahs of Sunset

“No, no, no — I wasn’t talking shit about you –. They were talking sh*t about toothpicks –“

GG shuts ’em down with this question: “Was she talking sh*t, or did she say that was true?”

Then, GG tells us, “If Mike was a grown=ass man and he had just a little small shred of self-confidence, he would have laughed off the whole dick comment. Get over it.” My little GG — she’s all growed up! Bobby, unfortunately, tries to talk to drunken Mike: “I buy a lot of new clothes dude. I shop. I do that.” “You didn’t do that because you didn’t know. You did that because you thought it was stylish. Let’s be honest with one another. Come on, don’t bullsh*t!” says Mike. And back and forth it goes. Reza, the voice of sanity, tells us it’s a “Persian pissing contest; these are two males that are locking horns for territory, but little do they know, the leader of this territory is a gay dude with a moustache.”

Back to Mike and Bobby still arguing about fashion. Who’s the gay dude in the room? I’m all confused now! Well, doesn’t take long for Mike to get that well-known look in his eye where he’s going for the bitch slap so everyone steps up to keep ’em separated. Mike wins because he takes Bobby‘s jacket “as a souvenir” and is sounding like a mental patient. Bobby‘s going after Mike to get his jacket, but Jessica pushes him away. Why oh why, Jessica? GG and Asifa get in her face before she can go after Bobby.

Shahs of Sunset

GG tells us she’s embarrassed and taken aback. You know it’s bad when our girl GG is the most mature one in the room.

Mike is calling Bobby out telling him if “you want your jacket back, you get it back when you apologize.” Shervin assures Bobby he’ll get the jacket to keep him away from Mike.

Shahs of Sunset

Mike‘s walking out with Jessica and the prize jacket, and Shervin goes after him and gets the jacket proving he’s the man in the group. Reza is busy making apologies for Mike. Reza tells us, “I am gay Gandhi. I need to lose a little weight, but I’m still Gandhi.” On the other hand, Gandhi is having trouble pinpointing the problem, because he complains about Jessica: “What about Nowruz? I know this bitch is white, but this is a sacred time for us.”

Shahs of Sunset

Much more interesting is that out on the street, Jessica is having a meltdown and wants the mic off her “right now. Steffi — now, get this mic off me now. I don’t give f**k.” MJ comes out to the street and Jessica tells her, “I’m not dealing with this bullsh*t. He’s too big for this.” MJ asks the driver to take him home before he beats somebody up. Upstairs, Reza says to Bobby, “Hopefully tonight isn’t what you judge us by.”

Welcome to the group, Bobby!

 

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  • TartLemon

    I like Reza, but I really wish he wouldn’t insult non Persians so much.

    • Babson_Chick

      Well said and I agree!! I’m interested in other cultures – just don’t put mine down.

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  • colleen

    ***Gossip Alert*** Reza and GG on WWHL. Andy asks about the size of the ring and the 2 guests stumble over an explanation of how Mike can afford. In sum, the ring on TV is NOT the one she wears. The rock was used only for that scene for showing off purposes? Did Shaws really think this discerning audience wouldn’t notice the rock shrunk?

    • Bad Barbie

      Funny thing is this show is supposed to be about Oil Money rich. They are not.

    • RonnieIsBack

      LOL fake azzes

      • misstc

        Literally FAKE azzes, both GG & MJ. I guess welcome to Hollyweird where nothing is real.

        • Dave

          They’re both more real than Reza and Mike.

  • MindStretch

    What’s the age of this cast?…Reza is 40….the others?

    • Bad Barbie

      MJ is 40+ they showed her ID because she was lying about her age. LMAO.. Mike must be too and the rest look like they are in their late 30s saying they are 20…

      • MindStretch

        Thanks bad Barbie. They seem so immature overall – kind of like a “gaudy”:”wannabes”

      • RonnieIsBack

        REza and MJ are in their 40s. Asa is close to 40. The only really young one is GG and she is still in her 30s

      • misstc

        MJ got an ass job also! When they did a flashback, all I would see were MJ’s titties, but now she looks more hourglass; so she def. had an ass job.

  • italiano bambino

    i saw half of the show GIGI now want to talk about everyone’s alcohol abuse yet she acted like a FOOL for the last 3 seasons STFU.. I can’t stand them. Not bothering with this group. Atleast with sur you know they are NOT pretending to be rich

    • RonnieIsBack

      Thank you! They are such broke azzes…and I guarantee you every last Bravo check they spend on stupid chit lke clothes and jewlry…cheap gold jewelry
      Label Heuxs…

    • twifan2
    • Ahahaha! Ain’t that the truth. She one of those former drunks that LOVE to call out everyone else alcohol abuse. Pot meet kettle.

    • Dave

      GG is still a drunk.

    • RealitytvJunkie

      I’m happy she finally put the bottle and knives down. Her belligerent violent drunk act was hard to watch.

    • CNN

      She’s also pretending to be sober. She hasn’t slowed down on her drinking she just didn’t drink while they filmed.

  • Jersey

    I really liked Reza but not so much anymore. He talks smack about everyone behind their backs. Why would he think it’s okay to mention the ring size on TV? Gigi could have said what she wanted about it but he didn’t have to say a word. He really in’t anyone’s friend. Last season it was the same crap with MJ, outing her on national TV.

    • italiano bambino

      HE will throw everyone under the bus to feel better. I don’t like him

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Same here. So over Reza had his crappy attitude. Completely rude on the season premier.

    • CNN

      Reza is a jerk. Jessica is a gold digger and Mike needs rehab.

  • MindStretch

    Question – What does Mike do for a living, CURRENTLY? I saw last season he was “working” w/some shady dudes that looked like they pushed white powder vs real estate (side eye).,,

    • RonnieIsBack

      Nothing….he is a bum

    • Not a damn thing. He claims he sells real estate but he’s sold nothing. His main source of income is the show.

    • Dave

      Sexually molest women. GG is not his first. Mike has a serious problem and it’s fueled by the alcohol.

  • MindStretch

    **I just started watching this show last season**
    Ummm, what’s up with everyone discussing Mike’s penis size?

    • Last year the group went to Turkey and MJ saw Mike schlong and made a big deal about it being soooo big! Classy bunch, eh?

    • Babson_Chick

      they’re bored

  • Dave

    Mike And Reza acted like 3rd graders making fun of Bobby’s jacket! Mike was a sloppy drunk and Reza acts like he’s something special…please.

    • Yes, they do. They remind me of Junior High but they certainly are entertaining and make for good TV.

      • Dave

        Reza was a bitch lol taking out his scissors to cut that Bobby’s jacket loose.

  • RonnieIsBack

    Glad to know chit hasn’t changed.
    Reza still refers to women as bitchess (vag envy)
    Mike is still an idiot
    Asa is still tacky
    MJ is still nasty looking
    I like the new peeps already.
    Tacky azz gold is everywhrere.
    Reza still fronting like he has money..broke azz

  • Great recap, Wendy! I’m not sure if I like the new girl. But definitely love and miss the old crew! Especially GG and MJ, glad to see everyone friends again minus Lily. She’s not missed.

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Reza is such a pot stirrer. He tries to be slick about it but we can see how he throws people under the bus. Like yesterday, he was laughing with Mike but somehow Mike got blamed for the whole incident. And on WWHL he dissed Mike’s engagement ring, totally Rude!

  • CNN

    How is it that they celebrated charshanbeh soori after New year? They got it reverse, just saying.

  • CNN

    Wow!! I didn’t think it was possible, but now Golnesa is even more ridiculous and pathetic. It was super sweet of daddy to buy those for her.

  • I finally got around to watching the episode because I missed it last night and I was so confused. Why would GG get a fat transfer? Your butt is still going to get saggy and wrinkly when you get old, so …? And what were Mike and the guy exactly arguing about, penis size or fashions? I was so lost I couldn’t keep up. Great recap Wendy. I was laughing after the first paragraph.

    • Wendy Owen

      thx!! Mike and Bobby – that was classic. You’d think it would be about penis size but they were far more concerned about the jacket. Bobby was claiming he had just bought because he shops – that’s what he does – and simply hadn’t removed the stitch yet because he’s got so many new jackets. Mike called b.s. and told him he’s a jerk because he thinks he’s making a fashion statement by keeping the stitch on there.

      I’m still amazed by this fight. 🙂