#SisterWives Recap: The Divorce [Season Finale]

Posted on Mar 2 2015 - 7:43am by BeachSpin

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The night has arrived…the big ‘TRUTH’ on “Sister Wives,” with Kody and Meri Brown dropping the D-BOMB announcement on America. The ‘truth’ is predictable, guessed by hundreds, that Meri is stepping off her legal throne in order for Kody to pursue adopting Robyn’s children, who currently have a  father, who is actually alive. Robyn’s three children’s father is evidently believed to be unfit, and they want to make sure that the Browns can stake claim on his children in the event of something happening to Robyn.

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Meri explains, in strangely fresh and new looking footage, what we all already know…that there is one legal wife and three spiritual mistresses in the Brown clan. She comments that polygamy is definitely looked down upon, as TLC tries to pull on our heartstrings by flashing family pics and a gross Meri and Kody wedding moment. Meri thinks that it’s weird, and believes that the divorce will cause quite a shift, but the lawyer assures her that the switcheroo will be no sweat, and an easy done deal. We are led to believe that Robyn and Kody know NOTHING about Meri’s martyr-like love offering, as Meri summons the happy spiritual couple to her home to break the good news. We watch some film of Kodes  rocking a ponytail, a la Bruce Jenner, and the footage  looks brand spanking new. Meri breaks the news to Robyn and Kody, and Robyn is simply SHOCKED, natch, but she immediately accepts with a ‘hell yeah.’ Kody furrows his brow, but agrees, and assures Meri that a spiritual mistress is just as legit, in all the ways that count. Kody wants to make sure that the D word doesn’t mean DUMP, as well as being certain that nothing will cool between he and Robyn, if she gets promoted from hot mistress to a boring old ball and chain.

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Robyn works up some thankful tears, but Meri does not look happy, and her body language looks uncomfortable. We hear about the dead beat that Robyn had, count ’em, THREE kids with, the stellar father that Kody has always and forevermore will be, and the obvious wisdom of this chosen direction. They decide that the other two mistresses need to know, and Meri is concerned that they will be justifiably annoyed that they were skipped over for the promotion, even though they have all been forced to look at Kody’s hair much longer. They break the news to Mariah, and are worried, but due to the fact that she’s headed for plural marriage herself, she takes it like a champ. Janelle and Christine are summoned next, and Christine bubbles over with joy at the saint-like generous gesture. Christine reminds us all that legal is no biggie anyway, and spiritual is where it’s at.

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Janelle is clearly over this mess, and barely reacts. Christine just doesn’t care who is legal, because it’s sure not her, and the kids are really the important ones. Janelle is shocked because the move is going to screw up their tax return, and that’s her only heartfelt observation.  Robyn chalks it up to Janelle having an extra cranky day. Kodes and Janelle have a sit down, and she shares her concern that due to her hatred of change, she is worried. Janelle is the smart one, and is concerned that Kody really loves Robyn best, but swallows her worry for the children. Kody insists that they are ALL married, and the legal doesn’t matter…but admits that all of them are worried that this ‘procedural’ shift, might change the behavior of any or all of them. Janelle admits that she has insecurities, and her footage is the only segment that seems genuine.

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We watch Meri print out the divorce papers in her best bedazzled top, and hear that she’s is feeling icky and dizzy, probably due to the fact that she is being shoved off balance and  hard into 2nd place. She reads over the paragraphs with Kody, and they giggle together over signing such a silly piece of paper. Meri is feeling somber, but Robyn lightens the mood when she arrives in a matching ugly blazer. Robyn is witnessing the signing, and is committed to faking best friend status in order to keep  Meri from passing out through the process.

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They arrive at the lawyer’s office, and learn of Robyn’s worry about the one down side of being #1 on the Brown cul de sac, the super stressful possibility of Kody dropping dead while sprinting between beds, and leaving her in charge. The lawyer kicks off the festivities by cracking a joke, and they all laugh nervously. Kody stupidly blathers about the horror of a made up concern called a spiritual annulment, and asks if they could ever be perceived as big frauds, like those annoying anthropology students. They all chortle about the zany notion of Meri scoring alimony, and the papers are shakily signed… GASP!!  Some sister-love themed prairie-esque spiritual music begins as Meri gazes out the window, overwhelmed by her own humble generosity.

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Kody self righteously preaches against the unfair necessity of dealing with the institutional word ‘divorce’, a word that causes such unjust and emotional heartbreak.  If spiritual marriage is just as important…WHY the heartbreak anyway?? Robyn musters a few droplets as she screws up her face in a forced grimace, while basking in the preciousness of her balding love being officially single. She admits that they still have many hurdles to jump, and that they are headed into a war of wall toppling. I wonder if we will ever hear any more of this epic battle towards victory for children…my guess is NO.

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In the Tell All special, we learn that ‘divorce’ sounds like shattering glass, Robyn’s children actually having a living father is a kinda major wall, Robyn can speak while crying with no tears, and Christine needs to stop with the false eyelashes. Meri claims that the divorce has improved her life, no matter what her Twitter account says, and Christine wishes all of the naysayers an eternity in Hell.  On that note…stay tuned as we continue to hang with uncovering all the Brown shenanigans…this show is definitely not over.

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About the Author

I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • Jennymckitty

    OK, I think I’ve already established that I am often naive and gulable. I actually believe this. I’ve always believed the reason has to do with either something legal or financial so this makes sense. I don’t necessarily believe that things happened like they were portrayed….like this being solely Merri’s idea. I have a feeling their were lots of talks about this. I can see why they may have wanted to keep this hush hush and not show their hand to Robyn’s ex. But it is logical..
    Janelle looked beautiful at the reunion. She has really blossomed and seems so much more confident. Her reactions seemed genuine. I don’t think she trust Robyn much. If something were to happen to Kody, Janelle would be the logical one to manage the estate and I hope that Kody legally sees that she is an executor.

  • Babson_Chick

    Beach – I applaud you first for watching this and most of all doing a recap of these messy people.

    • BeachSpin

      Thank you! *curtsy*..it was my pleasure to snark on this messy bunch, and all of the people that buy their ridiculous stories.

  • chacha1

    Janelle is still seething inside since Kody took witch face on a Honeymoon that lasted 11 days and Tamron Hall only reads positive email (GFTOOH) And Christine who acted like everything was wonderful and kissing Meri made me sick, Christine and her pointy red nose is constantly bitching about something but is okay with this ? Yeah okay Christine, Janelle sat stone faced and she is the real deal. I would give anything to see what the real father of those 3 kids is saying while witch face bashes him on TV

    • Birdie

      Christine is just happy that her mom is there and she has help with the kids that perfect Dad Kody isn’t giving her…maybe she is just sick of Meri and happy that she’s getting booted. That stupid Tell All was a complete throwaway.

  • chacha1

    Kody said that he considered leaving the show ….. wish he and his sister skanks will go away for good, I will not be watching next season

  • Birdie

    This was certainly a heartbreaking event…considering that they say over and over that they are all married and it makes no difference. There is a moment during the scene with Meri telling Robyn and Kody where she looks pissed…rewind and check it out. They blew their credibility when they had the entire move instigated by Meri..what a crock.

  • chacha1

    Here is what I think about Robyns ex-husband, he caught her cheating with Kody (that is why she had a $2000.00 Victoria Secrets bill, you know she didnt buy those things for the man who took her purity)
    Then she wanted to take Jessops kids across state lines from Montana to Utah and he said no and I also heard he did not want them on TV… I bet she gave up her child support to be with Kody because if he wasn’t paying child support she would have taken his butt to court …..

  • GREAT recap, Beach. I rather read your recap than watch this train wreck of a show riddled with lies. I can’t believe TLC thinks anyone believes this crap. Jenelle is the smartest and most attractive of the stupid bunch. I hope this divorce drama prompts her to leave Kody’s sorry butt!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks! Janelle is getting it together so she can peace out the minute her last child is out the door. TLC is counting on dumb sentimental saps buying anything that Saint Meri says.

      • Jennymckitty

        I hope that Janelle is stashing cash somewhere for her escape. I hate to see her being the only one working outside of Robyn’s ridiculous jewelry line & splitting money with these imbeciles.

    • OhSnarkyMe

      “I can’t believe TLC thinks anyone believes this crap”

      The scary part, Seusseroo, is that apparently a bunch of people really do believe it. Have you seen the tweets? Sickening!

      How anyone could believe that fake crap is beyond me! The whole thing was filmed in Feb. Did you notice how they threw out ONE fall decoration in each house. It was so absurd!

  • Ravello

    My favorite moment was Janelle stifling a laugh upon “learning” about the divorce. She said “we are in a good place ” which probably means she only has to kiss him when the cameras are present. I have no doubt he is with Robyn 99 percent of the time. Meri is certainly jealous but the other two probably are happy to be left alone. As long as the TLC money rolls in “nothing changes”.
    The other funny moment was the discussion about who will administer Kodys assets, like he has any.

    • BeachSpin

      ITA…and what about the lawyer grabbing his big chance on camera and trying out his shtick? And Meri asking “are you with Robyn?”….Meri is a HORRIBLE actress.

      • chacha1

        that is why Meri is divorcing him, he hasn’t left her bed since they met ….. two pigs in a sty

  • OhSnarkyMe

    I am done with watching this crap. It was boring, stupid, and the acting was worse than an elementary school play. It was just so fake. It worries me that there are people out there who believe this crock of crap.

    DVR will no longer be recording these a-holes. I will depend on Beach for the recap.

    • BeachSpin

      IKR…I wonder if Kody and Robyn practiced the brow furrowing and her “are you suuureee?” in bed at night. FAKE indeed…and Robyn has the ugliest forced cry face ever.

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