#SisterWives Recap: The Browns – An Anthropologist Best Scary Dream [Episode 14]

Posted on Feb 9 2015 - 11:29am by BeachSpin

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I am so excited to recapping “Sister Wives!” I have been gawking at this mismatched bunch since the beginning, and now that we know that a hierarchy shift in the harem is on the horizon, I will be looking at this mess with a whole new and extra disgusted perspective. Let’s get right to it!

The show kicks off with a family meeting, where the kids learn that two college anthropology students are going to come hang out on Brown Street to study how a family with one legal wife and three mistresses live. Kody thinks that his family is an anthropologist’s best scary dream, and Meri asks the kids if they think that they do  different “stuff” than monogamists do. They all say heck YES, just ask the kids at school, and Kody turns red, and says nothing.

We then sit in on an extremely high brow convo between a professor and the two students, Richard and Antoinette, expounding on the anthropologically dreamy opportunity the Browns present to figure out who the sex wife (Robyn), the mother wife (Robyn), the love wife (Robyn) actually are. They all wish to discover what the women complain about when the Kodes isn’t around, and are reminded that another “wife” could be just on the horizon, which brings a look of sheer terror over Antoinette. The Browns meet with the students, who want to be treated like flies on a wall, and learn that one of them is kinda spiritual and one of them is an atheist, and both are intellectually miles above us all.

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The students meet the family, and nail Kody as a showboating attention hog right off the bat. Richard comments that Kody loves his long stringy hair, being delusionally cool, and having four women PMSing at his feet.  Robyn is off her game, (when have we ever seen her on ANY game?) and is worried that these students may not believe that polygamy is as functionally hip as they do.  It’s dinner time at Christine’s, and Antoinette jumps in to help with the cooking, with Richard propounding that there are too many darn kids to not completely lose a few on a daily basis. Kody tries to banter like a groovy college student about the origins of monogamy, and admits that he really does hope that his obvious rad factor is showing.  Richard and Kody run into each other like two sparring bucks during a backyard game time, then we observe Kody torching their dinner. Kody and the harem pull the supposed prank of the century by having the women feed Kody bites of food, and the students don’t even blink at the hysterically lame spectacle.  The Browns raise the hilarity meter by shoving smores down Kody’s throat, and the overworked attempt at humor is embarrassing.

The Brown attendants frolicking fun  brings encouraging scholarly amusement to Richard and Antoinette.  Kodes offers Robyn and Meri (in that order) to lick smores off his beard, and it is revolting.  Robyn gets peeved because the students openly share their relationship lifestyle choices, and Robyn thinks that the children are not ready to absorb such horrifying monogamous ideas.  We sit in on the Brown family church service, and it’s obvious that many of the older kids have passed on Pastor Kodes’ sermon. Janelle believes that they are trying to figure out their own way, or just have too much homework to take an hour off. We learn that Janelle’s daughter, Madison, is joining the Mormon church, and the family dramatically convenes to discuss the unexpected choice, bringing cerebral delight to the students. We learn that Madison had been depressed, and she feels peace within that church. Janelle is worried that she will feel less at peace within her own dysfunctional tribe, but is OK with it.

The Browns pull out the big leisure guns, head to the movies, and drop a ton of cash on tickets and concessions. The evening wraps with Garrison decking Gabriel in the parking lot, and it’s filmed like an episode of Cops. The snotty students obnoxiously analyze the teenage brouhaha, and Janelle is embarrassed by her two ridiculously uncool kids. Kody gathers the teen brawlers together, and with a fling of his super groovy mane, demands answers. Gabriel retells his side of the incident, and Garrison explains that he thought that snagging the front seat was hilarious, and that Gabe smacked him first. The spat is treated like something that deserves the death penalty, and everyone is horrified that their far-out cover is blown in front of America. The two students are acting like they want to date by the end of the episode, and we learn that the bookish pair continues with the Browns next week.  See you then!

 

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I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • OhSnarkyMe

    The Browns are such liars. They claim to be open-minded and accepting of all….yet there is Robyn whining that she doesn’t want her kids to know that people can live together without being legally married (you mean like the exact situation you live in, Robyn?) and they all freak out when Maddie wants to join the mainstream (real) Mormon church. Such hypocrites.

    I hope Maddie finds stability in her new religion and social group. She’s known nothing but chaos and lies in her upbringing.

    • nn

      ICAM! I gave Robyn major side-eye when she said that and I really was PO’d they all felt the need to interrogate Maddy about her decision to join the mainstream Mormon church. It seems to me if your adult children are ok with your “different” beliefs they should be ok with her “mainstream” beliefs.

      • chacha1

        and then they lied again, Maddie said they were accusing her of going Mormom for a boy and they said NO and Maddie said “yes you did” and then the camera panned away

  • caringincanada

    Isn’t that Kody’s default plan to escape back to Mormonism. After all the only thing different is Mormon’s do polygamy after death. Fundamentalist Mormons do it before death and after. And Christine says she is not having anymore children? Does this mean she is not going to breed to inhabit Kody’s planet.

  • Yolie

    For Meri to be wife #1, She does the least talking, she appears afraid to speak up. Seems like Robyn and Kody runs the show and the other 3 just goes along with whatever they are told to.

    • OhSnarkyMe

      And in the beginning of the show Meri was confident and outspoken. You could tell by her speech and mannerisms that she was the #1 wife. Fast forward a few years and she is a shadow of her former confident self.

      When they pull the plug on this show, I hope she walks away and has herself “unsealed” from that nasty man and converts to normal, real Mormonism.

      • Yolie

        It’s as if her soul has died over the seasons. Robyn is manipulative and weaseled her way into the top position.

      • Birdie

        That is interesting…watching early episodes would probably reveal a lot.

  • chacha1

    Not funny when they were spoon feeding that hosebag, making a mockery out of the study ….. and he caught all the meat on fire, did they really eat it ? why don’t those miserable slugs act honestly in front of the students …. it was all rainbows and unicorns and of course Kody ACTING like he is a father who cares. Wonder if the Anthro’ see how Truely retracts and scowls everytime Kody comes near her

  • chacha1

    Skrody Kody wanting the slugs Robyn and Meri to lick his beard after S’Mores were smashed in his face …..

  • chacha1

    the true abusive Kody was surfacing when Gabriel and Garrison were fighting and you can bet that Kody beat the hell out of them when not on camera ….. just look how Truely hates hime, anytime he goes near her she recoils and puts her head down