And we’re back! I missed blogging with ya’ll last week due to the Super bowl but I was rooting for the Patriots so I survived.
We first have Kenya meeting with Roger Bob pitching her ideas for a sitcom. She tosses out characters and titles with a bit of shade towards Team Beast, naturally. All jokes aside, Kenya is serious about producing a mega hit. Roger Bobb is serious only about his part-time availability. Kenya says unlike Demetria she doesn’t want a part-time commitment so maybe her life will have to twirl on without Mr. Bobb’s help. Stay tuned.
Phaedra is getting counseling from her ex-boyfriend and now husband of Quad from “Married to Medicine,” Dr. Gregory Lunceford. She wants to know should she tell the children about daddy going to prison. Maybe Bravo should have sent her a preview of Apollo talking with the kids at the yogurt shop because convict or not, I think he did a good job talking to them about going away ala Teresa Guidice. Phaedra feels her kids will be scarred for life if they visit their dad in prison. Gregory feels it will be more damaging for the kids if they are kept away from him because, at that young age, they don’t know the concept of prison.
Phaedra doesn’t want her kids to be in the company of convicts. Hmm. Here is a woman who graduated law school so I know they taught her a thing or 20 about DUE DILIGENCE. When she was courting him at 3:00 a.m. in the morning on that air mattress planning their future as a clean family, married him, and then decided to have not one but TWO kids with him, don’t cha think those thoughts would have crossed her mind? She represents criminals. Surely she wasn’t in the dark about their tendencies.
Apollo seeks counsel from his attorney Mr. Woody. Apollo is afraid Phaedra will file for divorce and keep his kids away from him. He knows what he is dealing with. Mr. Woody says they checked the courts and to date, Phaedra hasn’t filed. Has she filed yet in 2015? I digress. He advises Apollo if Phaedra choose to go for custody of the kids they could use the affirmative defense of assumption of the risk. Basically, she knew his background before she married him and had two kids. Exactly.
NeNe is meeting with her only friend Porsha at the Cotton Corn and she is hoooongray for shrimp and grits and pork chops and fried eggs! She orders vodka and of course so does Porsha. Porsha wants to get a salad but NeNe barks “No! you can have that to go!” Porsha informs NeNe that Dish Nations is throwing her a welcome aboard party and she wants NeNe to come. NeNe doesn’t have time to support her BFF because she is studying for Brawwwwdway. Porsha starts throwing shade about the ladies because we all know that is the only way to keep NeNe’s attention.
They discuss Cynthia and her no good mooching husband, and Claudia and Kenya’s lack of a husband. Newsflash, Claudia was married before – do your research. NeNe goes so far as to say that marriage is an accomplishment and any woman not wife’d up by 40 basically ain’t chit. Really? I think Oprah would beg to differ. Yes, I am sure Ms. Winfrey is bawling her eyes out that she cannot get a huzzzband like the butler – she just makes blockbuster movies about them and runs her OWN network — and the world. But that’s all NeNe, Porsha, and Phaedra have to insult someone – you don’t have a huzzzband. I say aim higher ladies. NeNe says she is going to NY to get away from negativity. I say, when you leave Atlanta to go to NY, you will take the negativity with you.
Next, in the kitchen with Kandi, she is yet again crying because they are shutting down “A Mother’s Love,” after two shows. Todd tells her that she should have done her homework when it came to picking a promoter. Kandi doesn’t like that. In her talking head, she blames Todd and Don Juan because she left the promoter picking up to them. I say, I am siding with the promoter. If I decided to use my money to back a production and I find out ticket sales are dismal AND I am losing on my investment, I am pulling out like the condom broke. Kandi should have used her own money, but we know that will never happen. Her wedding was in a strip mall. #Cheapskate
Kenya and her BFF, Brandon, are having green tea and discussing the progress of her new show. Due to the fact that Roger Bobb simply doesn’t have time to help her Brandon suggest that they do it themselves. I agree. Kenya had the idea, is writing a script and has a production company. Gurl, if you can produce movies and booty boot camp video, why not give it a shot? You know enough Hollywood folks. Do the dayum thing and yes leave out any references to housewives or anyone on team beast. You had film credits and a career before anyone knew Andy Cohen or Bravo existed. Twirl On.
Claudia has a visit from the wigologist Derek J. She wants a new look for the Dish Nation party because yes she is going. Her boss is throwing the party and invited her so why not. She doesn’t care that she and Porsha are beefing or that Porsha has a reputation of having a married sugar daddy. Que the All About The Tea plug courtesy of Bravo – great scoop HOLLA!
However, she wants to wear a wig with staying power because Porsha is known to snatch hair. They laugh and decide on a wig that actually looks nice and natural on Claudia. Glad didn’t fall for the unbeweavable look of Atlanta. Protect them edges girl.
Kandi and Todd meet with the three employees of the Kandi Factory. She gives them the news that “A Mother’s Love” tour is cancelled. One employee says who? Just shady. Don Juan & Co. continue to shade Todd and his little sperm because it’s easy. Even Aunt Bertha shades Todd. Don Juan jokes that the failure of the show is Todd’s fault and he probably set her up. Did I mention Todd was sitting right there? Sad. Todd you gets no respect buddy.
There is a cute scene with Cynthia, Leon and their daughter, Noelle. She reads them a passage she wrote about love. Leon gets all David Ruffin on her and is like “what the hell have YOU been watching?” It is a funny scene. Noelle is growing up to be a beautiful young lady and Leon is fine, 52 and doesn’t look a day over 40. #Hawtness.
At the welcome party for Porsha, even the interviewer on the step and repeat is throwing shade about Porsha’s lack of brain cells. He asks Rickey Smiley did they have to hire a spelling coach for her. Ouch! Rickey says no, but Porsha does have blonde moments. Ouch! Porsha is sitting at the table with her family telling them she is simply “unbothered” about Claudia, while she strokes her weave and continues to apply lip gloss in her see thru mini dress. She attempts to blow out a sparkler on her cake. M’kay. Meanwhile, Claudia arrives and some of the Dish Nation crew sits with her to show solidarity.
Porsha stands in front of Claudia’s table with her back to her to show her family that she is “unbothered” so Claudia decides to ask her to talk. They go back and forth about who is the shadiest. Porsha starts quoting from the book of NeNe saying verbatim the speech about not wanting to be around negativity, etc. I say that speech would have been wonderful last year when you were at the reunion pulling hair, cursing and kicking and screaming and getting a mugshot. Glad you are turning a corner, gurl. Claudia calls bullshyt on her corner turning but says she has no problem being cordial because she has no desire to ever be her BFF. Porsha is still mad that Claudia ousted her suga daddy so she wants no part of Claudia, not even the cordial part. They go back and forth some more and Porsha gets up to walk away, but not without pointing a finger at Claudia and telling her not to talk behind her back. Claudia shoots back she won’t, she will talk to her face. Boom! Rickey Smiley then joins Claudia’s table. Claudia mumbles that’s bish is crazy.
Phaedra is at home building her restraining order/custody case against Apollo. She is smart enough to use buzz words like “scared,” “burn the house down,” “madman,” “crazy,” “punching walls,” and “psychotic behavior.” Nice. Her mom suggest a getaway plan, yes days before he is going off to prison for 8 years. Her mother finally says, “I don’t want to come here and find ya’ll dead.” Wow! Phaedra nods her head in a medicated sort of way.
Next week, Mr. Chocolate is discussed, sex texting and the showdown.