#MarriageBootCamp Reality Stars Recap: Natalie Feels Played & Betrayed

Posted on Jan 24 2015 - 10:54am by Wendy Owen

Marriage Boot Camp Season 4

Jim and Liz — my new favorite hack “professional” counselors in the grand tradition of Dr. Phil and Iyanla Vanzant — open the show, standing outside in the bright, morning sun — she in a too-tight-for-your-age body con dress, and he in a Hagar-pants-and-knit-shirt look not seen since “The Brady Bunch — having this dialogue.

Jim: Today’s the day things are gonna take a turn.
Liz: Yes, they’re right on the cusp.

Frankly, this sounds downright creepy. They’re standing in front of a bunch of medicine balls. They have cute snap-judgment sayings on them meant to induce bickering. Jacob falls for it. Says he could end up in jail if he stays with Natalie. Syleena and Kiwane don’t fall for it and call it a stalemate. Spencer and Heidi argue about having kids. Spencer actually shows the maturity that everyone claims he lacks. He doesn’t think they should have kids after all the bad decisions they’ve made. Woo-hoo, as Vicki G. would say!! Who knew there was a brain lurking under that hair? Next, Aviva and Reid. Reid thinks Aviva is on the internet too much and not paying enough attention to the family. Meanwhile, Reid has some issue with his parents to whom he is not talking but blames Aviva for them not being around. Seems Reid is the problem here. Finally, Tyson and Rachel. Seems they both stay out till 2 A.M. to avoid each other. Since they’re not married, it’s not really any of the other one’s business, is it? Period.

Jim tells everyone tossing blame is mentally exhausting. Liz tells everyone that this is intense stuff, and how she wants everyone to go inside and think about how this impacted them. All I can think about is thank goodness this bogus session is over. But they insist on dissecting the “exercise” with their helper elves. Back in the house, left unsupervised so they can push each others buttons — is this sanctioned by the APA? — Tyson continues his rant about Rachel. He won’t be happy till he has everyone thinking that Rachel is a skank ho who’s cheating on him. Fact is, she works in a bar that closes at 1 A.M. So she gets home around 3 A.M., tries to move around quietly so she doesn’t wake him up, and takes a shower. I used to work in a bar. The FIRST thing you want to do is take a shower. Working in a bar is hard. It’s sweaty. It’s dirty. Seems no one else works because they don’t understand this and take the bait. Heidi says if Spencer did that more than twice, she’d leave him. Heidi repeats this more than twice.

As if verbal harassment isn’t enough, they’re all brought outside so their “peers” can shoot paint balls at each couple one at a time, hitting the one they blame. Uh, I thought we were just taught blame is bad. Now it’s good? Okay. Therapy, right? Could have fooled me.

Nothing intelligent is said here. Really, would you care whether a group of strangers blame you or your spouse for your problems to which they are not really privy after three days of bogus on-camera interaction? Natalie is the only one who catches on. When Rachel shoots her with the paintball, she goes into “Bad Girls Club” mode and starts in with her. This is good for air time, and Natalie knows it. Rachel doesn’t know the game, or she planned this ahead of time with Natalie. Hard to tell, and certainly, Jim and Liz don’t have the tools to discern the truth. They keep blathering on about how this helps – the blaming exercise. It’s amazing to me that anyone would pay these two for any kind of counseling. You’d be better off going to Madam Marie the Psychic on the Asbury Park Boardwalk — oops, she’s dead. Wonder if she saw that coming?

Marriage Boot Camp

Inside the house, Natalie tells Rachel that she’s fake ass. She runs her mouth in a monologue while pushing her plate around and fussing in the kitchen while everyone else sits at the table eating their dinner. Reid basically tells Jacob he’s pussy whipped. Gee, that must feel good coming from an average-sized, middle-aged, khaki-shorts-and-pink-shirt wearing yuppie. Surprisingly, Jacob says and does nothing to Reid. Maybe he’s waiting for bedtime?

Evaluation time in the big ol’ McMansion living room. What have we learned today, boys and girls? Can you say, “Blame is bad/good/bad/good —“? Oh, fuggedaboutit! Natalie decides to go after Rachel again. She says, “So, since you wanna keep being (bleep) smart ass like you did at the table, let me do an exercise –” and this is where she heads upstairs while Jim lamely calls, “Natalie!” as if she’s gonna listen. “–you want me to keep it 100, Rachel, let me keep it 100. Let Natalie let you know how I feel.” Natalie is getting something and everyone knows it because they all move away from Rachel.  “I feel like you robbed me from my experience today, shooting the gun. Here is my exercise.” Then she throws the wedding dress from Rachel‘s room over the balcony. “So that right there is me shooting you with the paintball guns today, ok? Now we can go back to the evaluation.”

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Natalie! Natalie!” says Jim. Boy, is he commanding; really in control of the situation. Brilliant.

When we come back from commercial, Liz says she wants to hear from Rachel, and Rachel tries to bring on the waterworks. It only half works. Now, mind you, the dress didn’t hit anything but the floor, and Rachel won’t be needing the dress anytime soon since she’s with that loser Tyson, but she whimpers, “To be attacked like that, is very, like, shocking to me. I had no clue that what I did today would even hurt her.”

Upstairs, Jim is so afraid of Natalie, or so into playing along, that he assuages her feelings and just let’s her know it’s okay to be a bad girl for her career — is that really a career, Jim? — but she needs to be a good girl at home. Great. Good work here, folks.

Downstairs, Liz tells everyone they are an “onion.” Like, they have layers. Wow. Kinda like a human being’s complexity is the underlying factor to sentience which hypothesizes a panpsychic theory of human consciousness, Liz? That’s deep.

“You can’t win a fight if there’s only one winner,” concludes Jim. Um. Well, hmmm. Let me digest that because I’m betting that in any sport, there is only one winner, correct? Oh! Snap! Not in soccer. In soccer, there can be a tie. But, wait a hot minute! They fixed that problem by introducing the sudden death shoot out.

I’m at a loss as to explain how a person “can’t win a fight if there’s only one winner.” I mean, I can win the fight if I’m the winner, right? Oy vey! This is all too much! It’s going to take me until next week to figure out Jim‘s pop psychology bullshit. Adio bella, gente!

 

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  • Trippinhhard

    Great recap —the irony of Reid calling someone else a pussy, they are both big pussies in my eyes..
    Natile will get her air time—remember she runs LA

    • Poo

      I have never been around a “Natalie “before and never wish to be. I felt sorry for Rachel ’cause she is from Montana and has few sightings of “Natalie’s” as well. When she stated that she was frightened I couldn’t have agreed with her more…I was too!! It’s the same reason I don’t watch Atlanta anymore. Mean girls screaming over each other which requires closed captions to understand the dialogue. Poor Rachel it’s going to be a long two weeks.

      • Trippinhhard

        Rachel’s “boyfriend is a total jerk–I didn’t see the show, but I don’t like anyone screaming at me..
        Rachel looks to timid for Reality TV, but who knows, she could probably beat Natlie the chin butt..
        She’s all mouth..

        • Poo

          I thought it was really special when Tyson said that he would never love Rachel as much as she loved him…he is a real treat. Rachel is totally out of her element with these players. If you get a chance, it’s on Friday nights on WE and is back to back with David Tutura Celebrations. He is so theatrical but it’s fun to see the finished parties.

          • Trippinhhard

            What a joke — she needs to rid herself of him, sounds to me like he thinks he’s the shit..lol

          • Wendy Owen

            he does, and the funny thing is, he’s ugly, not well-spoken, and not a man of ideas or ambition, besides being totally devoid of the capacity to love anyone but his Grandpa.

          • Wendy Owen

            Yes, I’m still weeping over the loss of my beloved Bridezillas, and try as I might, I can’t get this sow and David to fill the giant hole in my heart left by the likes of Willaura, Yovanna, Joraine, et al.

          • Poo

            Alas, so am I Wendy. Some of those girls were soooo special.i never feared that any of them would ever have a broken marriage. Remember the nurses aide who made her fiancée break down and sob as she ridiculed him. Everyone was so caring and sympathetic of others needs. Bye the way, you forgot to mention how supportive Tyson was of Rachel when Natalie was doing her imitation of a bull in the kitchen. He just continued to shovel food in his mouth while Rachel looked like a deer in the headlights..What a guy..

          • Wendy Owen

            I think we should have a moment of silence for those “ladies.”

          • Wendy Owen

            Ok, now that that moment is over, I did neglect to demonstrate Tyson’s never-ending concern. I’m still trying to get past the, “I’ll never love you as much as you love me” comment. Shell-shocked, I guess.

          • Poo

            I had my moment of silence… Sipped Chardonnay and toasted to the “ladies”continued happiness. The shocker to me was that Rachel barely reacted. Sort of stared at Tyson with that vacuous look that she is so good at. If I was with him, it would just be for the money

          • Wendy Owen

            So right, Poo. Has to be the dosh.

          • Babson_Chick

            oh thanks – forgot to record

  • Jennymckitty

    Poor Rachel. She thought she was going to a relationship boot camp. Instead this is an audition tape for former reality stars to book their next gig. Each one trying to show just how bad they can still be if they can just get booked on a new show.

  • MinkalaniMInkeshiaLatawandaJoh

    Wow Natalie sure does have a big chin. Wouldn’t you want to get that shaved down a bit? I remember when I was a kid and we were living in Tijuana we got so much surgery, I mean when in rome right? We had every industrial silicone product under the sun injected into us, me my dad, who was transitioning into Lana turner, my mom who was the star of a very popular show in town with a friendly donkey named Ramon, GOOD TIMES!!! Why wouldn’t natalie want to enjoy a glamoriss experience like that?

    • Poo

      Damn, you are a hoot gal/guy, racing from blog to blog with humor and cynicism. yes, I believe if Ramon offered Natalie butt stardom, they would be a match made in heaven. They could have a marriage coordinated by David Tutura and go on into reality infamy with a sex tape. I’m sure that Bravo would then pick them up for The Real Wives and Mules of Tijuana.

    • Wendy Owen

      I am shocked — just shocked. Have you no empathy? Some people don’t have the means to go to Tijuana! You think everyone has the kind of opportunities and good fortune you grew up with? Some people, like Natalie, can’t even fit their chin through the border gate for goodness sakes! Have some compassion!!!

  • She Stinks!

    Love how Rachel just looked at them as if they were insane. Oh yeah, they are insane. Natalie is a Jay Leno chinned lunatic and Heidi is a complete pathetic mess. I hate to even say this, but Aviva and Reid are even faker than Heidi and Spencer! The producers really had to reach about Aviva’s press problem? What a joke, no one gives a crap about her, not now, not ever.

  • Chelsia Andrews

    Natalie is an ignorant wannabe celeb; it is amazing that any man could stay with her!

  • TartLemon

    Not really on board with the methods used, but the drama is entertaining. Still cannot find anything likeable about Aviva.

  • Brattus Rattus

    So, I started watching this show because of this site. LMAO @ Natalie. I remember her from the Bad Girls Club. I have known women like her. She ain’t shit. I just don’t understand how 0% of the men stood up to her for being on the attack. Are there no gentlemen left in the world? All that exercise did was allow all the others to forget about their issues and focus on this one other persons perceived issue. So she comes home late and takes a shower. Her DB boyfriend is a selfish tool as the world say on Survivor. Her only mistake is wasting her life on a man that won’t marry her if marriage is that important. The couple I despise more than all of them is Heidi and Spencer. Natalie’s husband, Jacob?, Id take him in a heartbeat and treat him like the man he is. Girlfriend needs to watch her back.