Celebrity Apprentice Recap: Kenya Moore Versus Brandi Glanville Showdown [Episode 3]

Posted on Jan 13 2015 - 9:33am by Dani-K

The Celebrity Apprentice

We are back for another round of back-to-back episodes of “Celebrity Apprentice” for double the firings and double the fun. The first task the contestants must perform is a four-page health and fitness editorial for Cosmopolitan magazine. The teams will be judged on originality, creativity, and overall presentation. Johnny Damon volunteers for the men’s project manager and Jamie Anderson volunteers for the women. (Once again Leeza Gibbons doesn’t stick her neck out.)

As the women pitch ideas at the round table, Shawn Johnson suggests “Coached by Olympians” and Kenya Moore suggests “Touch Me” with the instruction of how to work out where the model is being touched. Jamie isn’t 100% on board with this idea, but realizes Cosmo is a sexy magazine. And of course Brandi Glanville and Kenya try to one-up each other because this is what they do. Kenya wants to write, edit, and model and Brandi doesn’t think that Kenya should hog all of the assignments. Leeza suggests that Brandi be their model. Kenya storms out of the room with a parting shot of “bitch is dumb as rocks.” Not to mince words, Kenya, but the saying is “bitch is dumb as a box of rocks.”

The Celebrity Apprentice

The men are flipping through the pages of the magazine realizing how “flirty” Cosmo is with its content. Ian wants his wife to start reading it now. Geraldo finds a way to center the concept around himself, and actually has the nerve to credit himself with the “selfie trend.” With the help of Terrell Owens the come up with the slogan “Love Your Selfie Naked.” Johnny wants to involve his wife who is a Sports Illustrated model. Geraldo wants to re-enact what that selfie would look like between the two of them. Awk-ward. Afterwards the two smoke a cigarette.

The Celebrity Apprentice

At the Team Vortex photo shoot, Johnny and his wife, who are a gorgeous couple, pose for semi-topless photos. Lorenzo is doing a great job of directing the shoot. T.O. does pushups with a model sitting on his back. And because Ian wrote an essay about his wife taking pole dancing classes, the model then poses with split legs around the pole. Geraldo gives his unwanted opinion yet again to tell Ian how to write concisely, but the men are doing a better job of ignoring him. So what does Geraldo do to gain attention? You guessed it. He strips down to his underwear and walks around pumping weights. My eyes, my eyes! After I recover from temporary blindness, Lorenzo has taken the picture of Geraldo even though he admits that it won’t appeal to Cosmo’s demographics.

The Celebrity Apprentice

At the Team Infinity photo shoot, Shawn has a great idea that she and Jamie should be draped in the American flag so that it appears they are naked. Kenya is giving tips to Brandi to accentuate her flat ass, and for some reason Brandi is wearing a jacket zipped up to her neck, not taking direction well from Kenya. Kenya is not getting that sexy vibe from the shoot and she’s right. It’s not until someone mentions photo-shopping that Brandi loosens up, takes off her jacket and straddles the male model reverse cowboy, which is probably the way she normally sit on a man’s lap.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Both teams present their four-page ads to the execs. Team Vortex’s four page spread looks good and Team Infinity’s spread looks a bit scattered. In the boardroom Johnny says that if they don’t win his recommendation on whom to fire will depend on what the execs say. Geraldo says he’s not sure if they won. Ian thinks they won. Jaime says she thinks her team won. Kenya considers herself the star of the week and Brandi considers Kenya evil. The two bicker again for a while (double yawn) and then Jamie shares a mean comment Brandi made concerning Kenya’s booty being bought and paid for.

The Celebrity Apprentice

The feedback from the execs is they liked the “selfie” concept from the men, but the ads lacked specific takeaways. For the women, the execs say they used the correct buzz words, but there was a disconnect with the concept. The winner was Team Vortex! The men return to their base to watch the bloodshed for Team Infinity via television.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Trump asks Jamie who’s to blame for the disconnect. Jamie blames the housewives. Leeza says she would fire Kenya. Brandi says she would fire Kate. Yeah, surprised me too. Kate would fire Brandi. Vivica would fire either Kate or Brandi, they both drive her crazy. And Kenya would fire Brandi, no surprise there. In the end, Jamie brings back Kate and Kenya to the boardroom and Kenya is not happy. She let’s Jamie know straight up this is a huge mistake. Jamie tells Trump that she’s changed her mind and now wants to bring in Brandi. Trump tells Jamie too bad, so sad, and for her indecisiveness throws in, “You’re fired!”

The Celebrity Apprentice

Task number two is a fundraising challenge disguised as a wedding dress sale. But before they begin, Trump mixes things up and changes the teams to co-ed. The new teams are: Kenya, Brandi (you knew he would keep these two together), Leeza, Johnny, Terrell, and Ian Ziering – who raises his hand for PM. The other team is Shawn, Vivica, Lorenzo, Sig (Who? Oh, the boat guy who does as little as possible.) and Geraldo – who accepts the challenge of PM, if only to piss off Ian.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Both sides are working the phones, calling their people to donate money. Brandi is off by herself making calls and Ian, after giving a lengthy speech, asks Brandi to move closer to the group. Kate is waiting on money, but doesn’t want to rest on that laurel after failing to raise a dime last time, so she comes up with the idea of a pop-up hair salon to consult the brides. Ian calls in his friends to help decorate their store front when he notices Brandi is missing. Apparently she’s had a panic attack (though not caught on camera) and has gone back to her hotel room. Everyone is now on Team Not Brandi.

The Celebrity Apprentice

Geraldo flashes a check delivered to him for $99K and Ian flashes a check for $165K. Kate and Geraldo dress as bride and groom to attract dress buyers and Ian has Chippendale dancers to attract buyers. A check arrives in Kate’s name for $30K. T.O. is not having very much luck reeling in money and doesn’t seem too concerned about it. He’s more interesting in his cheeseburger.

In the boardroom, Trump asks Ian if he thinks they won. He says yes. Trump asks about working with Kenya and Brandi. Ian says that Kenya is wonderful and Brandi is fragile. Geraldo is ever confident that his team won until Trump announces that over $600K was raised by the two teams and the difference between them was only $2500. Ouch! So close it hurts. Trump offers the two PM’s a once in a lifetime chance to keep the money each team raised for both charities or take the money and run. Ian and Geraldo agree it would be reckless to do anything other than split the money. The money that Ian’s team raised is $292,547 and Geraldo’s team raised $294,781. Both charities are winners, but Geraldo is now a double winner and his head will need to be surgically deflated.

The Celebrity Apprentice

When the task is a fundraising challenge it comes down to the numbers so Ian had no choice but to bring back Johnny Damon and Terrell Owens to the boardroom. Johnny raised more money than T.O. and the part that hurts the most, if T.O.’s so-called friend would have come through with the $5K he promised, their team would have won. T.O. You’re fired!

And now for the:

  • Person we most want to have a drink with: Got to give to Ian. He hustled for his charity. Yes, his speech went on a little long and should consider running for office, but the guy is passionate and willing to do whatever it takes. Kudos to your win even though you didn’t win.
  • Person we most want to throw a drink at: The obvious choice is Geraldo! To think that he seriously started the selfie trend. Are you kidding me? Can the man be more arrogant? Dumb question. Yes, I’m sure he can.

 

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I am so lucky to combine blogging with my guilty pleasure of watching reality TV. I read all the comments and respond to most. Feel free to reach out to me. If you like fiction, I have two published novels: Three Days in Purgatory and A Reason to Run. For more information, please visit me at: Twitter* * Website* * Facebook*

  • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

    Is it just me or does Brandi always look like she’s just done the Walk of Shame to work and thinks throwing a jacket over her night before outfit will make it work appropriate?

    • RonnieIsBack

      That cow looks like she doesn’t bathe….she is a fake azz mess. That crying may work on the BH housewives, but Trump isn’t having that chit..and neither is Kenya. Love it!

      • chacha1

        Trump fell for her bullchit story about having a panic attack but we all know that she was drunk on her azz as usual and it makes me sick that Leeza Gibbons, like Trump fall for her little girl act and little girl voice, glad Kenya is keeping is toned down and not feeding into Brandi’s nasty comments

        • RonnieIsBack

          Agreed. I think the bish was hungover also….and had the shakes but forgot her Xanax

      • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

        I’m liking Kenya so far! She’s on to Brandi and Brandi can’t handle it.

  • JrzShoreLady

    Geraldo has gotten on my last nerve with his antics during the tasks & I want him gone! Brandi needs to grow up & stop acting like an immature slut.

    • chacha1

      Brandi is an immature slut and is proud of it … I can’t watch CA anymore due to her and Geraldo ….

  • chacha1

    Brandi is another one I would throw a drink at …. and that picture above with those shoes and those Mr. Peanut legs GAG !!! She really is a skank, and both Geraldo and Brandi would have been gone if not for the team leaders bad choices …. so Kevin and Jamie are gone and here we are still having to put up with Brandi and Geraldo … thank God for my remote, time to watch something else

    • RonnieIsBack

      Cracked me up…she fought so hard for the modeling gig only to feel insecure…dumbheaux

    • classycns

      Mr. Peanut legs. LOL. May I borrow that?

      • RonnieIsBack

        Yasssss! Mr. Planters..scrawny ole man knees…LOLOLOL

    • Dani-K

      I had a tough time deciding between Geraldo and Brandi for the drink in the face. Geraldo trumped Brandi (ha-ha) with his “I started the selfie trend.” Sheesh.

  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap Dani!
    I cannot STAND GERALDO OR HIS BIG AZZ NOSE. His body is awful..I don’t care how old he is…his azz is obnoxious..I see why he is on wife #5.
    Kenya did her thing and I am glad she reeled it in and kept her cool….I hope she doesn’t let the trash Brandi get to her….
    That fake flat azz trashbag. She tossed out the fake booty chit on purpose. I am SO GLAD Terrell felt it up (which he has been dying to do since the season started) and announced it was REAL.
    Speaking of Lazy azz Terrell..I see why his baby mommas got his azz together…WTF? He couldn’t call Mayweather? Chit he needed to go.
    Steve Saunders/Ian did HIS THANG! He won in my book. And Chippendale dancers were much more hotter than Kate and Gerald.
    What was up with Sig sexually harrassing the women and dragging them into the store for his team?

    • Dani-K

      Did you see Wendy Williams this morning? She read Terrell (and mispronounced his name). Double shade! I can’t believe he went through $80million.

      • RonnieIsBack

        I taped it..I will watch when I get home, but I believe it. He is just ridiculous.

  • chacha1

    Brandi Glanville did not have a panic attack, she was drunk and then she threw up and felt better … this is an excuse she always uses and Trump fell for it ….. she said right to his face she threw up and felt better .. Trump the Chump I guess doesn’t know she is a ho and an alcoholic

    • misstc

      Brandi had the shakes because she was dying for a drink & probably what led to a panic attack. So off to the privacy of her hotel room to get drunk. Alcoholics can’t think straight until they can relax their bodies with a drink or two. Makes calling & begging for money easier after a few. What a mess that bish is!! I don’t care for Kenya either, but at least she has some restraint and brains.

      • chacha1

        I cannot believe she raised any money but who knows King David Foster might have given her hush money along with MoreGreasio Umansky…..

    • Dani-K

      Wow – I wish I had thought of that. Brilliant, chacha! Brandi managed to keep that pretty tight because you know if Kenya thought her “panic attack” was due to drinking she would have said so.

  • ER

    Recap more fun than the show! Nice job Dani. As much as I want to see Geraldo go home, it’s good strategy to keep him there for the duration. Keeps us viewing, chatting, and mildly irritated. I find myself waiting to see him go, and hoping his stays…..

    • Dani-K

      Thanks ER! Excellent points.

  • WestCoastFeed

    I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually watched last night. And doubly embarrassed to admit that I only watched in the hopes of seeing Geraldo fired.
    Thanks for the excellent recap, Dani. Next week, I’ll stick to just the recap.

    • MidwestMiddie

      X 2
      I watched for the exact same reason.
      Geraldo is a self-absorbed egotist. Perfect Bravo “Housewife” Material……..
      completely unwatchable.

      • Shelly Jones

        He is perfect Housewife material. I had no idea he was such a d!ck. I actually like it. Its funny as heck.

        • MidwestMiddie

          Way too much EGO for me ……..LOL

    • Dani-K

      Thank you, WestCoas! A lot of people share your opinion of him. I wouldn’t be surprised if Geraldo made it to the finals.

  • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

    Kenya offers far more to the competition than Brandi. I really can’t fathom why they used Brandi as a model when she portrays such an unhealthy lifestyle and yet Kenya has a fitness video. Brandi has to resort to being disruptive and negative towards Kenya because she can’t complete on any other level.

  • TartLemon

    The Brandi/Kenya kerfuffle was expected. Kenya ALWAYS has to have someone to be a mean girl too and Brandi fed right into it. Both are ridiculous. I can’t support Brandi any longer, but certainly will never buy what Kenya is selling. Kenya is a joke.

    Kate Gosselin is the one I’m most disgusted by. The way she was hanging all over Geraldo and she never does anything to advance a task.

    • Dani-K

      Kate said she wanted to be Geraldo’s next ex-wife (that would be #5). Yuck.

      • TartLemon

        Geraldo is MARRIED

  • Great recap, Dani-K!! I really enjoyed this episode. I’m rooting for Kenya and Geraldo all the way!!

    • Dani-K

      Thanks Seuss! I’m pretty sure Geraldo and Kenya will go far because they are the ones that people love to hate. Can’t wait to find out!