Saturday Funnies: Tips for Getting Along in Prison

Posted on Jan 3 2015 - 8:23am by Trixie Felonabulous

Just a few tips that Teresa might want to review before she goes ‘to work’

1) Try and arrive at your designated place without calling too much attention to yourself.

tre n cop in toy car

2) Don’t be too friendly too fast. Inmates are always suspicious of new guys.

luv luv luv me

The Feds are well known for their deviousness and although the guy arriving is in fact a convicted criminal, the Feds may have made a deal to cut her incarceration time for some information from a target within the prison.

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3) Don’t just walk up to a table in the chow hall and plunk yourself down.

Madea-Goes-to-Jail-4-x400

Be polite; ask if you can join the people at the table. Wait until you find an open invitation from someone to join their table. They might want to join you.

Orange is the New Black

4) Don’t act tough, because other tough women will challenge you. They don’t get a tough reputation from beating up weak people – they get it from beating up people who think they are tough.

rhonjteresaclassy

5) Don’t get into gambling, shylocking, drugs, alcohol or ‘other’ things. If you do, you’ll be sorry. Don’t try and sell your brew!

0CA9mbKK3nJa (1)

6) Check yourself before you leave your cell. Don’t go out if you’re in a bad mood – shake it off first.

wave behind bars

Because someone’s bound to say something derogatory and if you say something back it could lead to a fight (or stabbing).

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7) Be polite. Smile. Don’t sell anything. Or borrow anything. Keep yourself clean and well groomed.

get'g hair done

You’ll attract others like yourself who want to befriend you.

friends

8) Keep away from taking sides in an argument. Be neutral – but don’t desert a friend to save your own butt.

underthebus

9) If you accidentally bump into someone, apologize for it right away. If someone else bumps into you and does not apologize, ask yourself if pushing for an apology is worth it, worth losing your life for.

rhonj-ter-ohokay

10) Don’t ever (EVER) tell on anyone. It’ll always come back on you. Don’t think you can inform on someone and get away with it – you cannot!

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Just follow these few rules and time will go by quick!

womens-prison9-nite-day 1

You’ll be out in NO time.

65703-050

 

 

*Content for comedic purposes only. Not intended to be taken seriously*
 

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About the Author

Convicted Felon * Thief * Liar * Felonlicious * Change of address coming soon–Alderson Federal Prison–prisoner # tbd (to be determined)

  • DSS

    Better read then wendy Feldman
    Just saying…

  • itsjustme

    O.M.G! That is by far one of the funniest things I’ve seen…LMAO!

  • cait

    I imagine the Juicey Family are sitting round their ‘puter, chuckling their heads off, as we speak !

  • Abby

    Wonder if Teresa is taking out the hair extensions, taking off the nail polish, and de-tanning herself before she goes in Monday? Does she show up Monday at a certain time? She might want to leave the luxury Mercedes parked at home with the $2,000 purse. Ah, sucks to be her right now. Certainly going to be a whole lot of crying in that home tomorrow night.

    • Addie2U

      Only 2 more nights to sleep in that comfy bed of hers.

      • Abby

        Can’t imagine going from the plush bed and luxurious mansion to steel bunk beds, noise, craziness and horrible food. Ugh, just can’t wrap my head around what they were possibly thinking when they borrowed, borrowed, borrowed. Why, why, why? Idiots.

        • Addie2U

          I imagine they thought they deserved it — because they’re more special than the average Joe. Scary thing is they also thought they were smart enough to pull it off!! ☺

          • Abby

            I will take my 2500 Square Foot house any day over her gaudy mansion and so call life of fraud. Not sure how she ever felt good about moving into that place, unless she truly did not know about the fraud. But, the sensible person in me says she knew and went right along with it thinking Bankruptcy would be their way out…..

    • Marsbars09

      I was wondering who was going to drive her to the joint on Monday.

      • twifan2

        My guess would be whoever drove the Juicys to the courthouse those times.

        • Marsbars09

          The bodyguards/attorneys?!

          • twifan2

            Not the attorneys. I thought they were in their own cars.
            My guess would be the bodyguard(s). It’s going to be a media feeding frenzy, imo, tomorrow!

          • Abby

            No doubt they are sitting outside currently at both locations. Those poor girls that have to be subjected to this. Way to go Teresa and Joe – hope all that cash you stole for your gaudy furniture is worth this.

          • twifan2

            HOPEFULLY the press will leave the girls alone & focus on Tre!

    • Rochelle Barozzi

      And scrape off a ton of make up. NO make up!!!

  • She Stinks!

    Hysterical, love it!

  • Raine Woman

    twi!!! Thank you for starting off 2015 with such a felonious funnies!!! That is some sound advice for those soon to be federally incarcerated….I’m lookin’ at YOU, Inmate 65703-050, Pay Attention, puhleese!!!

    • Addie2U

      Maybe I missed something or maybe I’m just slow☺ but is this the same Twi that posts here??!! Awesome job. Each pic & gif got better & better but I have to admit #6 (w/Teresa behind bars, waving) is my favorite & “She hurted me for no reason” is a close 2nd. You’ve got some great skills Twi. ☺

      • Yep, that’s our Twi…..she’s awesome! 🙂

        • Raine Woman

          Seuss!!!! Happy New Year!

          • Raine Lady!! Happy New Year, doll! All the best for a successful 2015!

          • Raine Woman

            You too, Doc, for you and your whole family!

            You guys are planning something for Monday, right? 🙂

          • Yep! A ‘going away’ party, you all are invited. LOL! 🙂

          • twifan2

            Juicy on his way!
            Guess he luvs a good party! :/

          • Marsbars09

            LOL!

          • Rochelle Barozzi

            ROFL!!!!

          • Raine Woman

            Excellent! Can I bring anything other than sarcasm, snark, and a “container” full of Wally World’s Finest for twi?

          • Throw in some sprinkle cookies and you’re in!!!!

          • Raine Woman

            Done!

            OT: Sorry, have you heard from Lefty (nan)?

          • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

            Hi Rainey! Yes. Chatted with both Lefty, (Nan) & KJ. They miss everyone & send their love & hope to be back soon.

          • twifan2

            Have to go all out with the sprinkles!
            LONG MAY SPRINKLES REIGN!
            Obam can’t keep good sprinkles down!

      • Raine Woman

        Hi Addie. You didn’t miss anything. Yes, it’s twifan. She just happens to be so multi-talented that one screen name can’t handle all that comedic genius.

        • Addie2U

          Thanks Raine. She’s quite gifted☺

    • twifan2

      And Juicy will be the one bringing home the pasta after Monday! 😮

      • Rochelle Barozzi

        Bwahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahaha I died

  • twifan2

    Think Tre & Juicy will be out for a ‘drive’ today? 😉

    • Raine Woman

      They might be, I hear Big Wheels were THE gift for felons.

      • twifan2

        They were? No wonder the Juicys stocked up. :/
        Happy 015 Raine! 🙂
        Hope you & yours are doing great so far!

        • Raine Woman

          Happy New Year, twi! May it be prosperous for you but more importantly, fun!

          Great job…again. Me and mine are preparing for a storm, Yay!!!!

          • twifan2

            We’ve had storms all nite long & continuing thru Monday morning. 🙁
            DANG! It’s supposed to get now to 8F in the next couple of days. 😮

          • Raine Woman

            8? That’s just wrong on every level. How you liking that mountain now, twi?!? LOL

          • twifan2

            DANG *&^% mountain! :/
            Have to get used to NOT driving fast. 🙁
            BUT ‘mountain’ folks are the best! 🙂

          • itsjustme

            Here too. Only we have lake Michigan to keep us up in the lower teens’. However, with that comes LOTS of lake effect snow. upwards to a foot in areas by Monday morning.

          • twifan2

            Not that bad here-thank you Baby Jesus! 🙂
            Stay warm & dry, itsjustme!

          • itsjustme

            Toasty warm. I don’t have to go anywhere until tomorrow night when I go back to work after having the last week and a half off..lol

          • twifan2

            Well that last part suxs. 🙁
            Enjoy your weekend then!
            Cheers! 🙂

          • itsjustme

            You too Twi!

          • Marsbars09

            Happy New Year to you Raine!

    • Addie2U

      Love this Twi. I had no clue that you were the 1 & only “Trixie Felonabulous”! You’ve got quite a gift☺

    • Marsbars09

      LOL! I wonder who’s going to drive Tre to prison on Monday?

  • Jersey

    LMAO @ that first picture. Almost spit my coffee out. :p

    • twifan2

      Oh dear, Jersey. Don’t waste GOOD coffee! 🙂

    • That 1st pic with the LV luggage on the roof is everything! LMAO!!!!

      • twifan2

        That will be Tre’s ‘signature’ pic for the day! 🙂

  • DSS

    Awesomeness Twi!! I just went back and looked at your past work. Awesomeness

    • twifan2

      And you’re still alive after reviewing?! 🙂
      Strong spirit, DSS! 🙂

      • DSS

        Strong upbringing

    • twifan2

      There was A LOT of help & ideas from people on AATT!
      They deserve credit too, DSS!

      • DSS

        I love this site! Good stuff and nice peeps

        • twifan2

          Have ideas, let us know. 🙂
          Peeps here are all so helpful & funny!

          • DSS

            Wurddddddddddd

  • Birdie

    This is hilarious…but also informative!! Solid advice mixed with zaniness…perfect.

  • Trippinhhard

    This Saturday cartoon shows all the emotions Teresa will be going thru..
    Just awesome. LOL
    You made my day and I’m feeling under the covers bad..
    Just luv luv luv it

    • twifan2

      Oh sorry to hear you feeling ‘under the covers’ bad, Trippinhard. 🙁
      Gearing up for Monday should pick your spirits up I hope! 🙂

      • Trippinhhard

        Thanks twin —keep the pictures coming.. They are a good laugh

        • twifan2

          Tre neva let’s you down in the cray cray dept! 😀

          • Marsbars09

            That’s for sure! This site probably won’t be the same without “Tre” stories.

          • Addie2U

            I’m thinking they’ll only get better. They’ll be much more to work with once she’s in the joint.

      • Marsbars09

        Twi, as much as Tre deserves to go to prison, it will be a sad day for her family.

        • twifan2

          Which is something she’ll never take accountability for! She did that to her family. Greed!

    • Birdie

      Feel better Samra!! Hang here, and absorb the giggles!

      • Trippinhhard

        This site makes me laugh, when I’m at my worse..

        • BeachSpin

          What an awesome compliment…rest, rest, and laugh…a healing combo!

      • Marsbars09

        Hi birdie! I’m going to try yoga for the new year.

    • Raine Woman

      Hi Trippin! There is no better place than under the covers when you feel awful. I hope you feel like your old self soon!

      • Trippinhhard

        Thank you

    • Marsbars09

      Hi Samra! I’m sorry you’re feeling under the weather.
      Please take care. 🙂

    • Feel better, sweetie. ♥

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      Sending Angels your way to see if they can help Trip!
      I’m sorry…I just read your post here at 12 a.m. PST.

  • Addie2U

    Enjoy it while you got it! 15 months + 41 months = nearly 5 years till they’ll be doing this again!

    • twifan2

      Addie2U, you just know Tre will be angling her way to make $$$ while she’s away at ‘camp’!

      • Addie2U

        I’m thinking she may be bottling her own rendition of Pruno.

        • twifan2

          She’ll have to waiting line to try & sell her stuff in there!
          There are others already set up. They won’t ‘look’ too kindly at Tre trying to muscle her way in. 😉

    • Marsbars09

      Oh gross!

    • itsjustme

      UGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! I think I just threw up a little…Scratch that…………….ALOT!

      • Addie2U

        When I see this photo I imagine that Teresa’s laughing at lil’ Joey!! (& Joe’s saying “damn, not again”)☺

    • twifan2

      Tiny bubbles! 😀

      http://i.imgur.com/GXVdIkE.gif

      • Rochelle Barozzi

        Good One!

    • Zoo porn!! Throw bananas at them!

    • Debbie Willard

      SEXY TIME….PUKE!

      • not a trehuggah

        he just so juicy…..full of SHIT and gabagool aahahaahahaaa

    • Rochelle Barozzi

      ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • BeachSpin

    This is great! I am guessing that this is make-UNDER Saturday for Tre at Camp Giudice…time to tone it WAY down.

    • twifan2

      I saw some of her stans are wanting for her to sue…anyone for her injustice?! o.0

  • Marsbars09

    Twi girl, you generated another classic! This is Tre’s last funnies before she enters prison on Monday (OMG, she’s finally going into the “big house”. How scary).
    My favorites are #4 & #7. Tre is going to need cornrows to keep her kinky hair in place.

  • Addie2U

    ♪♫ Memories
    Light the corners of my mind
    Misty watercolor memories
    Of the way we were

    Scattered pictures
    Of the smiles we left behind
    Smiles we gave to one another
    For the way we were

    Can it be that it was all so simple then
    Or has time rewritten every line
    If we had the chance to do it all again
    Tell me – Would we? Could we?

    Memories
    May be beautiful and yet
    What’s too painful to remember
    We simply choose to forget (or deny)

    So it’s the laughter
    We will remember
    Whenever we remember
    The way we were

    So it’s the laughter
    We will remember
    Whenever we remember
    The way we were ♪♫

    • BeachSpin

      Oh Barbra…how appropriate. Sniff.

    • twifan2

      Will have to watch the movie!

      • Addie2U

        Just watched the clip & I’m envisioning Joe whispering sweet nuttins’ in Teresa’s ear (like he did in the vineyard)☺

        • twifan2

          eeeeWWWWWWW!
          Thanks Addie2U! :p

        • itsjustme

          Thanks for the visual! Next time can you include a spork with it so I can attempt to rid it?…lol

          • twifan2

            *makes note to get some sporks from Wendys later*
            It’s noon here! I can get a glass of wine to help ease the pain of that pic Addie2U gave me! 🙁

          • Addie2U

            Sorry about that. I have to go out soon so I’ll stop buy Wendy’s & pickup up some sporks (& some vino) for all. Maybe I’ll even glue some tinsel on them (ala Dina’s fabulosity)☺ In the mean time feel free to use this . . .

          • twifan2

            You might want to put more of that on your ‘To Get’ list. 🙂

          • Addie2U

            Sorry☺

          • Addie2U

            . . .

        • cait

          Call her a load of names and say “I don’t even have to get you no jewellery, this time, BITCH !”

    • Flanagan

      Oh Addie, you nailed that one!!!

    • BOOM!!!!

  • Marsbars09

    Speaking of Tre’s family, this is surely a traumatic time for her daughters and parents. Do you think the girls should stay home on Monday? I’m sure they’ll be a mess seeing their felon mother leave them for over a year. (This has just gotten real for me ya’ll).

    • Addie2U

      As someone wrote here yesterday Teresa should kiss her girls goodnight tomorrow & leave before the morning when they wake up. That would be the best way to handle leaving her 4 beautiful dawters — BUT we all know Teresa never puts their best interest before hers. I’m envisioning a huge scene with a mental breakdown & an ambulance being called to drag her away to the ER.

      • Marsbars09

        Addie, I’m more inclined to believe there will be screaming, kicking and a lot of carrying on come Monday morning. Tre is nothing but drama.

    • twifan2

      For me it actually got real Oct. 2.
      I keep going between let them go to school or let them stay home with family.
      It is going to be crazy wit the media all around Monday. :/
      I think it would be better the girls stay home Monday. Say their ‘good byes’ in private!

      • Marsbars09

        Tre’s new REALITY will begin once she enters those prison gates on Monday.
        I think the girls should stay home from school on Monday and be with family. Like I stated, Monday will be one of the worst days of their young lives.

        • itsjustme

          I agree, I don’t think it would be right to send the kids to school Monday, and to be honest possibly all week. I would have them stay with family members for the week so they can grieve without having to worry about all the media and questions being asked at their home.

    • Flanagan

      Hopefully, the girls will be sent to spend Sunday night with relatives, and go to school from there. They should not be home to see Teresa’s histrionics. The best scenario, IMO, would be having a quiet Sunday with their mother, Teresa reassuring them they will be well taken care of, SHE will do just fine, and be back before they know it. Unfortunately, Teresa’s malignant narcissism will not allow her to see that her children are suffering because of HER criminal actions, and the only important thing is how this will effect them.

      • twifan2

        THERE YOU BE, FLANAGAN!
        Went to World Market early. Like was there just as they opened the doors! 🙂
        Got a bottle of red & a bottle of asti! 🙂

        • Flanagan

          Hey twifan! I just woke up from a long winter’s nap, and here you are! Oh, lucky you, a day at World Market. Pop those open, I’ll be right over!! :):):)!

    • WestCoastFeed

      This is really sad–

      Gia Giudice @TrueGia
      can’t sleep, to much stuff on my mind

      • The mother is pure evil to do this to her kids.

      • itsjustme

        I have said from day 1 that my heart goes out to those poor girls. Especially Gia who is definitely old enough to know all that is happening. I just wish their parents put the kids first all these years. It’s just a sad look into a couple of people who care about nothing but themselves and how they look like they can keep up with the Jones’s

      • Marsbars09

        OMG! Did Gia really post that gun? Someone needs to alert child welfare authorities about this. That girl is clearly in trouble!

        • Yes, that gun is truly disturbing.

          • WestCoastFeed

            And this is the second time she has used the gun pointed at the head emojis to depict her feelings.

          • Very disturbing. All those girls are going to need a lot of therapy. Sad.

          • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

            And this is just the beginning.

        • Imstillstanding666

          Yep, gia has posted gun icons before. Truly, truly scary. Hope she’s in professional counseling

  • WestCoastFeed

    Perfection, twi!

  • italiano bambino

    Lol oh twi i love it

  • Get out

    Monday.

  • Anne Green

    This is great!!! Awesome job Twi….lol

  • WestCoastFeed

    Access Hollywood is going to be covering Danbury on Monday. To show what? A car with tinted windows driving in?

    • Flanagan

      What time does the convoy commence? I wonder if there will be helicopter coverage.

      • WestCoastFeed

        And will there be a back-up TV crew at Alderson, just in case?

      • I’m sure the media is doing round the clock coverage at Camp Giudice from yesterday.

        • WestCoastFeed

          Their poor neighbors. What a relief it will be for them when all the Giudices leave forever.

          • From what I understand, their house is set back from the road and their neighbors aren’t close in proximity.

          • WestCoastFeed

            But one of them once wrote that the lookiloo cars all turn around in her driveway.

    • DSS

      So it IS a sure thing she is going there? I knew we all thought that but I thought it isnt for sure till she gets a letter 14 day or so out? I didnt see a big “going to danbury post” anywhere a week ago so ago.

      • Debbie Willard
        • Debbie Willard

          i read here that is where she is going???

          • DSS

            Yea thats from Oct 23. I always read for Fed lock up you didnt get your place till 2 weeks or less. I hear they do try to take people with local families into consideration but cant always. Martha Stewart didnt know till 10 days I think I read prior to reporting. I expect it to be Danburt but hadnt heard any “inside” info…..

          • Debbie Willard

            I also read they can tell you 24 hrs prior to the day you report?? i just can’t remember where..If they send her to Alderson she is going to have a royal fit! she wants to go to Danbury and she is not use to not getting what she wants..YIKES!

          • DSS

            Thats why I also dont buy she isnt telling the kids the truth. she wants them to visit. They gotta know right? I mean it is their friends dinner table talk at times so kids talk!!!!

          • Debbie Willard

            Oh those Kid;s know exactly whats going on..maybe not the 5 yr old but i seen Tre and Gia driving and talking about all this crap and audrianna was sitting in the backseat..Kid’s these days are SMART..

          • DSS

            You got that right!

      • WestCoastFeed

        I don’t think it is ever a sure thing, even for the prisoner. But the Tre Hugger camp seems to be convinced that it will be Danbury.

        • DSS

          Yea they want close and bad instead of further away and a “cupcake” of a prison
          (how is ANY prison called camp cupcake?)

    • Marsbars09

      LOL! You’re so funny WCF.

  • cait

    She will learn plenty in prison about respect and following orders ! Awful Aggie and Big Bertha will see to that, and will put some manners on her !

    • Lucy94

      They have their work cut out for them.

  • Flanagan

    Here’s a question: Will Joe ride along with Teresa on the Day of Doom, or will he stay home? And, will Andy Cohen be there, covering every dramatic moment for a “Teresa Giudice’s Ride To Prison” special?

    • WestCoastFeed

      Dina is back from New Year’s Eve in Paris. Maybe Dina will drive her.

      • Hahaha! Suuuuuuure she will.

        • WestCoastFeed

          And Dina can happily chatter away during the entire drive, regaling Teresa with the joys and beauties of Paris. Just what Teresa will want to be hearing on her way to the slammer.

          • Bwahahahaha!! Hilarious!

          • DSS

            Thatttttttttttttttt would be so misguided and awesome!!!!!!

          • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

            Yeah, I’d like to be there to see the driver’s reaction on that one…presuming that it would be just the idiotic thing she’d do, to have a limo take her…the dirtbag.

      • Lucy94

        More than 2 minutes in the car with Dina or Prison? I’m on the fence.

        • fred

          maybe Joe and Dina will get together

          • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

            Ewwwwwww…!

    • cait

      Joe will be on the doorstep, jumping up and down, clicking his heels !

    • Lucy94

      Joe will be calling his latest trick for a date that evening. Screaming from the rooftop that his See U Next Tuesday wife is gone!

      • Debbie Willard

        LMAOOOOOO

      • Flanagan

        Yes, old Joe must be delirious with joy about now. His rolodex of “lady” friend’s numbers is going to get a workout like it’s never seen before.

    • Lucy94

      LMAO at “Teresa Giudice’s Ride to Prison” special! Where through her tears she just repeats over and over, “I can’t talk about that”.

      • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

        Or, “Why’d this happen to ME?”

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      Do you mean…will Joe pull a Phaedra?
      I don’t think so…anywho I sure hope not!
      And Cohen, if he did that he’d need to paint “OPPORTUNISTIC” right across his normal sized forehead, on that one.

  • twifan2

    Poor Felon Feldman 🙁
    Things are tough all over.

    • Bwahahaha! Twi, you’re the best.

    • twifan2

      NOW! I do feel kinda bad for Wendy tho.
      Now she has to write her book BEFORE Tre gets out! 😀

    • Birdie

      HAHHAHAHAHA! Poor looney Wendy!!

    • DSS

      hahahahahah what a fraud!!!!

    • Rochelle Barozzi

      LOLOLOL!!!

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      Yeah, NOH.
      But I do miss our friends who are tending to their health and emotions and families…to mention a few…like Nan and KJ and NAWS and Trippin (who isn’t here nearly often enough) and all those that may have need to just take a break from the boards for whatever reasons! Love Y’ALL!

  • Lucy94

    Monday morning I will get up and go to my job, where I make a salary to live, and the government takes taxes from. That evening I will return to my humble abode that is 95% paid for. No one will tell me when to eat, sleep, poop or pee. But I don’t carry a 2K Valentino pursue or have a glam squad. I consider myself way wealthier than Teresa. And I don’t mean in dollars and cents.

    • Well said, Lucy! Honest, hard-working folks like us don’t have to worry about strip searches 4x times a day and being told when to rise and go to sleep. We’ve earned that right. I have ZERO remorse for Teresa. She’s not remorseful and will come home and commit more crimes.

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      What a huge accomplishment Lucy! To have your home 95% paid off is exceptional! And I completely agree with you on the ability to appreciate the freedom you and many many of us enjoy.
      Around my neck I wear two pendants..one is the American Flag (because I am very grateful and thankful that I love the country I live in and honor) and the other is a pendant with a Guardian Angel, which for that, there is no loss for why I wear it, I’m sure.
      I work hard, like you do Lucy (and so many others of us do as well) to pay for my home and in this country I can do exactly that!
      Accolades to this fine country where we reside and the freedom our past, present and future men and women of the service provide us!

  • WestCoastFeed

    Someone tweeted that she just saw Teresa at Jacqueline’s house. Is Tre making a farewell round today?

    • twifan2

      :/

    • Lucy94

      When I got up this morning and turned on the tv, Jacqueline was on some morning talk show (I think it was Fox). She looked like she has put on a lot of weight and those rolls in her neck are back worse than ever!

    • Lucy94

      The farewell tour! Why doesn’t she just throw a huge going away party at the mansion? Since I doubt they will still own it by the time she gets out.

    • I don’t believe that for one second UNLESS it’s being filmed.

      • DSS

        Not for 1 second

      • Lucy94

        You know, Seusseroo, I have thought that all along. I think they are filming and have been. People reported cameras at the ski resort with the twins and now this. There really might be a “farewell ride”. I know this has been denied but I really don’t believe Bravo is not all over this.

        • twifan2

          Some kind of “farewell special’ for Bravo to make the $$$! :/

        • Exactly. it’s a logical perspective. I agree 100%

      • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

        I would think that if it isn’t Bravo jackals taping, it’s the US magazine jackals on site to Pap her.

    • Can you post the tweet here?

      • WestCoastFeed

        I’ll try–

        Deanna DePetris ‏@DePetrisDee 27m27 minutes ago

        Just saw Teresa Giudice at Jacqueline’s the day before she leaves for jail, that’s cool I guess

        • twifan2
          • DSS

            Any connection to Joe? Naaaaa too early!

          • twifan2

            Never know with crew! :/

          • DSS

            Things that make ya go Hmmmmmmmmmmm

          • twifan2

            & have another glass of Wally World’s finest to ponder over. 🙂
            Cheers!

          • DSS

            Cheers! 🙂

        • How is this Deanna DePetris chick tweeting from Livingston, NJ and Jax lives in Franklin Lakes which is more than hour away….hmmmmmm???

          • twifan2

            & ‘the day before’ she leaves for jail?! HuH?
            Sunday is the day before. OR did someone mess with the calender?! :/

  • twifan2

    Anyone know how it will work …
    IF Tre gets out early, say a month. Will Juicy have to go in as soon as she’s out? Or will he have X# days to get his stuff in order?

    • Lucy94

      I’m just guessing. I would think that once she has a release date the court will set Joe’s report date.

      • twifan2

        Two ships that’ll pass in the day?!

        • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

          I’m actually wondering about.
          I’m thinkin’ that in short order, he’ll be steppin’ out and that won’t be a good thing at all!
          If they attempt to pass, I’m thinking that it might be a heated Italian shouting match. But I’m making a future assumption that isn’t a good thing to do…right about now, I know.

  • Susie Whats Her Name

    No messages from Teresa on Twitter or Facebook. No good bye to her fans. No I love, love, loves. No haters gonna hate. Nuttin!

    • WestCoastFeed

      Maybe she is actually making some farewell rounds today.

    • Hahahaha! Yet, she’s taking the time to meet with Jacqueline. Who’s next Danielle and Kim G? LMAO!!!

  • WestCoastFeed

    @Teresa_Giudice_, a parody account has been on a roll today. Would one of you experts please share her tweets with us? I just struggle with copy and paste. Or would she object?

  • cait

    TERESA’S RULES
    1. Make sure everyone sees the COOL LV luggage !
    2. On arrival yell “Y’all get over here and introduce yahselves !”
    3. Say many times “DONCHA know who I am, bitches ?”
    4. At chow, grab a table and decide who YOU want to sit with YOU !
    5. If no table free, make someone move Quick sharpish !
    6. At rec, yell “Come on and get me BITCHES, and see what happens next !”
    7. Never mind about gambling, take over the scams !
    8. You can always inform on someone, then deny it. After all Andy won’t be there with the cameras to prove you’re a LIIAARR !

    • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

      She is that much of a moron that I can actually see her doing all those things.

      • cait

        Sad, but maybe true ! Perhaps there are nicer women in Fed ?

        • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

          There will be women of all varieties. The one thing that I am pretty sure of is that there will be some that will absolutely hate her for her arrogance, for doing what she did to her kids, and for her celebrity that was bought with stolen wealth. And on the other hand, there will be those who will think she can “do something” for them when they are both on the outside….but I think the ones who loathe her will be in greater numbers.

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      Cait! That’s Poifeckt!

      • cait

        You know I love you !

        • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

          Feeling is certainly mutual!

  • Tweet from the Teresa Giudice parody account:

    https://twitter.com/Teresa_Giudice_/status/551482859253669889

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    awesome funnies, as usual. I got a new computer for Christmas and I have been having a devil of a time figuring Windows 8 out (it’s SO different from my Windows 7–I consider myself tech savvy for the most part but copying Windows 7 files onto this computer has been s=l=o=w going, which is why I haven’t been on much).

    Hope everyone had a fantastic New Year’s Eve! Mine was incredible–I was invited to a Native American ceremony, which was amazing! Here’s to a wonderful, healthy, happy, and successful 2015 for all of AATT’ers.

    • Hi Heels…this is Doc! I thought about you and missed your awesome comments! ♥︎

      Happy New Year, my friend! Much success in 2015!!

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        Hey Doc! I’m here! Kind of been busy and had another problem. Yesterday, I took a bad fall and wrenched the heck out of my knee. I couldn’t put any weight on it so I went to the doctor. I sprained it really bad, am on crutches and kind of loopy on painkillers. But at least I didn’t break my leg! Not a great way to start 2015, though, I must say. But I’ll definitely be around!

        • Oooh No!! So sorry to hear this. Use the time to get as much rest as possible and thank God you didn’t break any bones. You’ll be back on your feet in no time. Using Windows 8 is more of a freaking headache…very frustrating navigating that platform.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I agree! But I really needed a new computer (like really badly!) and it’s impossible to find the wonderful lightweight laptops without Windows 8. Hubs did find me some software so that it now resembles Windows 7 (instead of the annoying apps on the start up screen). So, it’s *kind of* like Windows 7 but not exactly. But yes, I am taking time to heal and kind of enjoying more quiet after a BUSTLING Holiday! I hope yours was wonderful!

          • Thanks Heels, my holiday was really nice.

        • Rochelle Barozzi

          Yikes, I hope you get better soon.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            Thanks Rochelle. I already feel better today (lol, although that could be the codeine!).

        • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

          Heels,
          Sorry, really sorry to hear that you hurt your knee. Listen to your doc on this one. And if he/she says to stay off it, I’d do just that.
          That’s because the Knee is absolutely the weakest joint structure of our body and it is very poorly supported anatomically. If it’s braced, stay with it. And then when he/she says it’s okay to start doing much on it, still be gingerly with it.
          Ask him/her where (front, back, rt side, lt side) it was injured. Then on the upper and lower leg above and below the knee, do some massage on those muscles to try to help the knee strengthen and track more true. If the leg muscles are tight on any side, they pull on the knee joint that way which makes it less strong.
          I am also a very accomplished massage therapist plus being an Adapted Physical Education teacher for students with many different levels of challenges mentally and physically or both.
          Best of luck to YOU…I truly mean that!

    • cait

      I got Windows 8, and it’s shit ! Everyone tells me this too, even my service provider !

      • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

        Mine has 8 as well. And the damn thing locked me into it upgrading itself to 8.1 or something like that. What an awakening.
        Just give me the same old plow horse to plow the field…it gets the job done…right.

        • WestCoastFeed

          Well, I am relieved to learn that it is not my fault entirely that I cannot figure out how to do stuff with this new computer. I have been so frustrated.

        • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

          Yes!!!

        • BaybeK8s

          LOL

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        Yeah–that’s definitely the consensus from everyone I’ve talked to as well. Oh well!

    • BaybeK8s

      Happy New Year to you too, 4. I have Windows 8 also and yes it is very slow. I get a headache every time I use my computer, especially when I click on anything from PCH. I thought it was me because I am not computer savvy.

  • Rochelle Barozzi

    Good chuckles had. Well done!

    • DSS

      its a parody? 🙂

      • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

        I agree. It seems like some logical and good advice. That her pics accompany it, is just the amazing icing on the cake!

        • DSS

          It is one of my fav accts to follow 🙂

          • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

            Sure is!

          • DSS

            I am waiting for a porno parody LOL
            Could you EVEN imagine?

          • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

            Oh My…now that’s just TMI for me at this moment in time!
            But I bet someone has already gone on and done, ay.

      • LOL–Yep!

        • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

          Hi Honey! Happy Saturday!
          Do you or anyone else know if anyone know which Federal facility will be honored with The Empress’ presence yet? Is going to be CT or W.VA?
          Should we take an impromptu poll on Danbury or Alderson?
          Hee-hee!

          • WestCoastFeed

            I’m going to interpret Heels tarot reading as meaning she will start out at Danbury, but at some point will be transferred, most likely to Alderson. We do know that Danbury is phasing out its female population.

          • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

            I keep thinking it’s going to be Alderson just because she request Danbury.

          • BaybeK8s

            Happy New Year Tigerlily, I agree. I think she will be given the opposite of her request for temporary housing. When Tre wrote to the judge,was that act an act of ignorance or did she really believe she was soooo famous she could get special felon perks?

          • Hey Baybe! This is Seuss. Hope you’re doing well. Happy New Year!!

          • BaybeK8s

            Hey, hey, hey Seussie! Happy New Year to you too. I pray a prosperous 2015 for you but, most of all continued health and love. I’ve missed you and the rest of my AATT family. (((Big Hugs)))

          • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

            Hi Babye! How are you Hon? Happy, happy new year! Wishing you & yours a blessed, happy, healthy, joyous & prosperous 2015!
            I too think it was a typical dumb-azz move by Teresa.

          • BaybeK8s

            Thank You Tigerlily. The same to you and your family. XOXO!!!

          • Happy Saturday, love! No official word yet. No one but Tre and BOP knows. I’m hoping it’s neither and they ship her far far away.

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    It’s so amazing that in TWO days, Trelusional will be FINALLY going to prison. For some of us (me for one), it seems that she’s been ducking these consequences for sooooooo long! All the trail delays–for years–it really did seem that she would NEVER get what was coming to her. But here it is! I think we should have a party here on Monday.
    But who’s taking bets? I read her cards again and things look pretty much the same although there is something funny about where she will ultimately be incarcerated–there’s some kind of issue with that. The other thing I saw is that Teresa will have more trouble coming to her in prison. Either new charges will be brought against her or she will fight someone in prison and have more time given to her. The one thing that was very clear (in 3 different readings, using 3 sets of cards) is that she WILL be doing more than 15 months–although it may come at a later time. In other words, the cards say that she is going to be serving more than her original sentences.

    • Lucy94

      Aren’t there possible perjury charges in the works in connection with the raid?

  • cait

    Said it before, when OJ weny to prison, for the theft thing, (saw it on a doc.) he was treated like a celeb, fast tracked through process, and removed to a prime, sought after cell ! FELON-TYPE-RESULT !

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      Yeah, I see your point…but Orenthal Simpson had built a huge following from his football and sportscaster background not to mention his sports followers. Also some folks stood for him just because he is African American/Black.
      Now, Teresa, whull, she flipped a table and shouts like a banshee and other than that she speaks with about as much intelligence as a cartoon character who was a very large baby (Baby Huey). She doesn’t really have that much positive recognition now.
      I’d surely like to hear of her cleaning her own stainless steel terlit bowl!

      • DSS

        How much is she allowed on her commissary? Enough to pay people to do things like the toilet? Pay them with stolen money?

        • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

          I don’t think that her “bank” will be set up right when she goes in
          And beyond that, I don’t expect that she’ll have any power set up anytime soon for her to get someone to do her “dirty work” (if you know what I mean).

      • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

        Hi Tre’s happy new year! Happy Saturday.

        You know what’s sad. I don’t watch the Naked Gun movies anymore because he’s in them. & I love Leslie.

        http://i.imgur.com/FejZhRP.gif
        http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly2syqYKgT1qc4v9ro2_500.gif

        • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

          Yep, I totally get it.
          And Leslie, shewwwwweeeeeee. What an incredibly handsome man…and the guy loved to do schtick!
          Serious…Now that was one healthy heap o’ MAN!

  • WestCoastFeed

    I am trying to remember back to when Apollo announced that he was about to “go asunder.” If my memory is right, it took the bureau of prisons about 2 days to get him entered into their computer inmate locator system. Anyone else remember?

    • TGtP – Nene’s New Wig

      I can’t help you on that, West. Sorry.

    • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

      I think you are correct West. I remember it was definitely longer than 24 hours because everyone was speculating on whether or not he was going to show up at all because he was late. So I would guess it was about 36 to 48 hours when his name officially appeared in the Federal Prison’s systems database.

      • WestCoastFeed

        Thanks, Tigerlily. I’m guessing then she’ll show up in the computer on Wednesday. I am wondering if she will be able to sneak in and avoid the cameras.

        • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

          I figure she’ll make the attempt for sure. Maybe even pull something with more than one car leaving at the same time. Going in two different directions kind of deal. Maybe even 3 or more cars.
          I would bet sometime in the wee hours of the morning, but then again this is Teresa Giudice so I don’t even think she knows. I don’t think she is going to fully accept this as her reality until the clock chimes on her last hours.

          • WestCoastFeed

            It may take her weeks in prison before she accepts her reality.

  • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

    As usual Twi, great job! You’re skill, talent & wit are a cut-above! Just phenomenal.

    Sitting here flipping channels & what do I see? ‘Goodfellas’ on my TV. Wonder if they’ll show ‘The Godfather’ on Bravo Monday?

    Too soon?

    Tre you did this to yourself. Unfortunately your children will pay the ultimate choice for the poor choices & foolish decisions you’ve made.

    I truly hope you are smart enough to do like you did on the Apprentice. Keep your head down. Do your time & take the opportunities handed to you & be damn grateful for them.

    You could have gone away from you girls a very, very long time. You got lucky. Realize it!

    Come back a a better person, a better mother & understand that your children need you more than you need some huge, gaudy-azz house, fancy parties & vacations or stupid name-brand this & that & all the other materialistic crappola you covet so deeply.

    Happy Saturday all. Hope everyone has a fab first weekend in this new year!

    http://media0.giphy.com/media/usOtawPqzXLe8/200.gif

    • Susan Thorne Zavagli

      she’ll never adjust…..in her mind she is innocent and didn’t understand the plea of guilty and was misrepresented ……she’ll alienate herself

  • jane

    OT Wendy the expert felon, wrote another blog yesterday describing what Teresa will really be facing; not just speculation. While written amateurishly with spelling and grammatical mistakes galore (for someone writing a book, this is not a good sign of great writing to come), what she says will happen is an interesting read. For example, no mug shot will be released; Teresa will not be issued any toiletries and she will have to wait to go to the commissary on her assigned shopping day to buy them. Makeup is allowed. She writes of day to day scammers approaching, shakedowns and raids which is chilling.
    The upside is that the visits for the children will not be scary for them and they will be able to sit on their mother’s lap.

    • WestCoastFeed

      I found it interesting and informative, too. Today she has also tweeted that Federal Prison is really not scary.

      • jane

        An interesting tweet given she hasn’t experienced it yet!!! She will know all too well soon enough! I keep thinking about the “keys”. I can see where that would be a memory hard to get rid of. That and the fact there is never real silence or the comfort of complete darkness in prison.

        • WestCoastFeed

          Yes, she will always remember the jangling keys of the prison guards. That’s chilling.

          • jane

            Just reread your comment, WCF. You meant Wendy tweeted; not Teresa, right? Teresa has been awfully quiet on social media the last day or two. Probably best given the circumstances. I also keep thinking about those girls; I feel so bad for them and what their parents are putting them through.

          • WestCoastFeed

            Yes. I meant Wendy tweeted. Not Teresa. Teresa has been silent for days. And I am upset over Gia’s tweet with the emoticon of a gun pointed to a head and the complaint that she can’t sleep.

          • jane

            OMG! There you go! This is what I mean about what these two have done to their kids. Teenagers are so fragile; regardless of who they are or where they come from. She may appear to the world to be strong but who the heck really knows what is going on inside her heart and her head??? That is so awful!! I love kids; all kids. I am literally tearing up right now thinking what she must be going through; she’s only 13 and what she’s been put through thus far is so wrong. I’ve worked with kids at risk. Rough and tough on the outside; but most, when you can get to it, if they let you, have a heart of gold. All they want is to be loved, accepted, and feel secure. Clearly Gia is not feeling very secure right now.

        • fred

          white people go to sleep at night in jail the black guys stay up all night talking

      • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

        I would assume if you’ve never gone to prison it is quite scary & daunting. But that being said, if I was foolish enough to commit a crime, even I know you want to do Federal time not State.
        No, no! Riker’s Island is not a place I ever want to be told “Now you’se can’t leave!” LMBO!

        (O/T The kid in the background is Lillo Brancato, Jr. He played Robert DeNiro’s son in the movie “A Bronx Tale”. Great movie. If you’ve never seen it you really should. Sadly in December 2005, he was charged & then subsequently convicted of second-degree murder for his role in a burglary in the Bronx, New York in which off-duty police officer, Daniel Enchautegui was murdered. Because he did not fire the fatal shot. He was released on parole on December 31, 2013, from Riker’s.)

        • DSS

          Still O/T but one of the best movies of all time! A lot of hollywood has sworn off Brancato esp Chaz Palmenteri who gave him ABT. Saw him pop up as defense lawyer in some Law&Order SVU’s recently.
          I now return you to your regular programing

          • ♥♥♥ Tigerlily ·.¸¸.·*¨·.·.¸¸.

            I remember when Chazz said that. He was very hurt & angry that Lillo made such bad choices. The drug use, the break-in & that poor Officer’s death. He completely washed his hands of him. Without actually coming out & saying it. He basically said that Lillo was dead to him. & many other’s said they felt the same way.

            Wasn’t it such a great movie? That “Now you’se can’t leave” scene when the biker’s face drops after he realizes that they’re being locked IN? Holy-moley! What a great movie! LOL! I absolutely love “Get Shorty” too!

          • DSS

            Got to love the door lock test 🙂

    • Excellent assessment! I agree 100%.

  • TartLemon

    Also O/T Jodi Arias sentencing retrial resumes 01/05 in Phoenix. Interesting to me, because she’s already been found guilty of first degree murder. NOTHING about the current retrial with a new jury can change that.

    • Flanagan

      This is the trial with no end……..

      • TartLemon

        I find the process fascinating. AZ does things differently than most other states. This trial is to decide if she gets the DP or not. I’m 100% against the DP in ANY case, but completely believe this trial has been a learning curve for her and she WILL kill again if released.

        • Flanagan

          JA is what she is, and yes, there is no doubt she would kill again, if the opportunity arose. Or, if she just got ticked off at whatever poor sap stumbled onto her radar.

  • TartLemon

    Is Juicy’s license suspended?

  • Susan Thorne Zavagli

    what she is thinking and what comes out of mouth is always twisted…..she’ll piss inmates off it is inevitable …..

  • itsjustme

    O.T. but Twi, you need to update Trixie’s bio and add her prison number…)