Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: “Pay Attention to Me!” [Episode 3]

Posted on Dec 3 2014 - 2:20am by BeachSpin

RHOBH S5

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” begins in the yet to be seen bathroom of Lisa Rinna, who is prepping for a birthday night out at Lisa and Ken’s restaurant, Pump. Turning 50 sucks, but having an awesome bod sure must take the edge off! Her girls pick out a boring outfit, which Lisa rejects, and later emerges in a banging purple number that most 25 year olds would kill to look that good in. We hop to Yolanda’s house where she is clunkily chopping cheese, and greeting Gigi and her pal who are visiting for a few days. Gigi is amazing because she manages to model half naked and study criminals at the same time. Yo shares that Gigi’s modeling career MIGHT cause her to….wait for it…put college on the back burner, but rest assured it’s all Gigi’s decision, and not that blond lady who is constantly fawning over her stacks of magazine covers. Bella is described as a flapping, edgy bird, and as we cut to her sell-it-baby head shot, we are told that both of the girls are like a more lemony version of the always perfect Yolanda. YAWN.

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We jump over to Pump for Lisa’s birthday dinner, and Kyle is overjoyed to be back, posing for gut sucking photos with Queen Lisa. We hear the story of Kyle and Mauricio’s, and Lisa and Harry’s first meetings, and lots of married and engaged people were involved.  Harry arrives and drops a sweet gift on Lisa, just before they top off the evening by rushing home to watch porn.

RHOBH S5

Over at Brandi’s place, she is hammering giant screws into her new walls to hang up her book trophies.  She shares that her ex husband Eddie is going after past alimony and child support, and we are treated to a timed and snoozy convo with her lawyer. Brandi wants to save for college and not pay for attorneys, and after all, it’s not healthy for her boys to watch hunky movers relocate her stripper pole every year. 

Kyle and Mauricio are shopping with Portia, and the display is weird and a tad nauseating.  They’re going on a family cruise in the most prestigious ocean, and about a dozen new showy ensembles is an absolute holiday must for any prominent six year old.  The couple giggles about their extremely obnoxious but adorably pricey choices, watch Portia model, stomp her feet, and bawl in the dressing room. Mauricio just loves to let his darling little whippersnapper shop for anything she wants, but Kyle refuses to raise a brat, and draws the line at spending a paltry $600.

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Bella and Yo are having lunch, and they banter about their manicures and Bella’s bright future. Bella’s dad, Mohamed, thinks school is the most important endeavor, but Yo believes that Bella should quit being a fluttering rebel and a passive aggressive, hard shove into the modeling world is just what she needs. Yo is so excited about Bella’s upcoming career, which seems completely disconnected from her education, and it’s eerily like watching a dutch Kris Jenner.

RHOBH Yolanda

The shopping blitz continues, as we arrive at a bridal boutique to shop for Kim’s daughter Brooke’s wedding dress.  Kyle mimics her daughter and acts peeved that she isn’t in the wedding, and won’t be able to wave her credit card around and outspend everyone. It’s a happy day because at least Kim is acting sober, and there is no need to bellow to the world that she’s a stinking drunk. Sister Kathy shows up, and busts up the family fun by almost gagging at the first dress Brooke shows the family. We discover that Brooke’s dad, Monty has lung cancer and is weathering his treatment at Kim’s house, which Kyle thinks will be very ‘challenging’ for Kim to endure. Yes…’challenging’ indeed.

Kim-Face

Yo is torching her roots with bleach, and reveals that she is heading to Holland to take care of her cancer stricken mom. The moment is unusually sweet, and full of genuine emotion. We also get a glimpse of Yolanda’s massive beige sweater and white jeans collection, as the year of the Bravo closets marches on. Yolanda and King David always fly private, and as we take in the sheer extravagance of their luxury plane, I am beginning to yearn for just a smidge of upper middle class, just to make things more colorful.

It’s time for a breezy lunch date between the two newest housewives, Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson. They chat about their mutual soap opera careers, and the scene is jazzed up with a fun 80s hair flashback. Daytime soap stars certainly seem like a  perfect fit for this show….fingers crossed that Bravo ‘reality’ won’t be past their melodramatic ranges. Eileen thinks public attention is only cool when she’s in the mood, Lisa hustles night and day for the same attention, and they both agree that getting high off iced tea is fun.

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Brandi and Kyle are going for a hike, and Kyle becomes even more mundane, by veering from blathering about her cash, to yammering about her weight. They awkwardly hike while trying to stand the site of each other, and chitchat about nothing worth listening to. A ridiculous scene is launched, where Lisa is discussed, and a ‘surprise’ phone call is planned. Ken is gardening, and it’s cute, but Lisa tells him to cut the peasant nonsense just in time to catch the obviously expected call from Brandi. Brandi greets Lisa while struggling not to laugh at the sheer fakery of the performance, and it’s like watching a high school duo giggle over a prank call. Brandi is still in that positive, yet still unseen, happy place, and the only thing she misses is pretending to be classy while polishing diamonds with Lisa. Lisa reminds us that she and Ken went to the mat to defend Brandi, and that slutty betrayers are as out as last year’s bedazzled blouse cuffs. I think that Brandi’s corrupt devotion is a glaring Cedric flashback, especially for Ken, and that crushing blow is simply not happening again at Vanderpump Central. Brandi bleats for the millionth time that Lisa thinks she’s perfect, and won’t say she’s sorry for not allowing Brandi to elbow her off her pink bedazzled throne last season.  Brandi refuses to kiss Lisa’s ass, or hike with a charged phone, and WHOOPSIE…the phone dies. After a brief intermission, Act 2 begins, as Brandi calls her back on Kyle’s phone.

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This brings a shocked expression from Kyle, when Lisa cracks that tricky caller ID code, and realizes that Kyle has been cast in a supporting role.  Lisa believes that Kyle and Brandi’s hike productions always bring evil, and we flash back to that first episode lunch where Lisa and Kyle pinky swore that they would never gossip about each other with anyone who warm weather hikes in a ski cap. Oh well…I never believed it anyway! See you next week!

 

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I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • TartLemon

    I’m really liking Lisa Rinna on the show. I always liked her in roles. So far she doesn’t seem prone to insult everyone else to make herself more important. Plus, she and Eileen Davidson know how to act natural around the camera.

    I hope they don’t waste a lot of air time with Kim. PLEASE not another ‘the cancer’ storyline. I don’t wish her ex pain and suffering, but I also have no time or desire to devote to it.

    • Trippinhhard

      Lisa is funny, she points out all of her own faults and laughs them off..
      I’m so sick of Brandi’s victim act— she the forever victim
      Kyle’s baby girl is spoiled and they know it..

      • dj j

        I totally agree with you. Brandi blamed Lisa while she was trying to make up with the Cat Lady, and was horrible on the phone with Lisa, and then acted like Lisa can’t ever say she is sorry. if she calls these apologies, she is nuts to think people think she is sincere.
        And the last 2 episodes, Kyle keep blathering on about not raising a spoiled brat, all the while her daughter is behaving like a spoiled brat. I thought it was hilarious when she whispered to Andy, “dont say that”, when he compared Portia to Milania!!

        • Trippinhhard

          Brandi is in her own world and its all about her life or nothing.. Lisa V
          was a very loyal friend to Brandi, when everyone else disliked her.
          She turned on Cat lady so quickly it wasn’t funny.b. Brandi thinks she can say whatever, then scream I didn’t mean it. I hope Lisa don’t give her the time of day..

      • Every season she’s the victim, even when she’s yapping her flap uncontrollably, getting herself into trouble. I still wonder why Bravo insists on having her on. It’s not like she’s doing ratings a favor. Last I checked they had dropped some 600k viewers.

        • Trippinhhard

          I was talking about the new Lisa R. Brandi is making this show unwatchable..she not cute or funny. Her victim act is old..

          • Too many Lisa’s lol. And I agree, Brandi is always the victim, she’s always the one who badmouths others and then sits back and pretend as if she didn’t do anything. At the white party, she was literally trying to make everything about her. She needs adult diapers because her attitude is s****y.

          • Chloe

            Put the diaper on her mouth. The stench is foul. Brandi had the nerve to once again claim Lisa owes her an apology and that Lisa can’t say sorry.

          • Ok. Kinda like what Tamra Barney said: Is your ass jealous about the s*** that comes out of your mouth? LOL

          • noarguingwithstupid

            Have you noticed that Brandy always seems to have a splint or bandage on???? Weird???

          • She’s a drunk who can’t watch where she’s going. I’m surprised there are walls and people still left in Southern California with her wobbling around.

          • Trippinhhard

            Ita

    • BeachSpin

      I completely agree…UGH…please…no cancer talk. The new wives are a breath of fresh air so far.

  • Trippinhhard

    Great recap– the show was ok but still slow.. What was that outfit Brandi had on, was she going to the beach or that’s just the way she dresses. It seems to me the show is missing something, I just can’t figure it out, but it’s not interesting anymore… Jmo

    • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

      At the moment it feels like any scenes not featuring Lisa Rinna or Eileen are just regurgitated from last season.

      • Trippinhhard

        That’s the truth—I’m just sick of Brandi and her bs..

    • noarguingwithstupid

      I am sick of Brandy wearing blue dresses!!!!! Surely she must have other color dresses!!!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Trippin…and slow? YES!! Slooooooowwww. Good grief, let’s hope it picks up!

      • Trippinhhard

        I’m sick of the rehash bs—start some new stuff or move along..

  • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

    Thanks for the recap Beach 🙂 I liked the dinner in PUMP, that’s what I want to see, unlike the dinner parties from the past couple of seasons featuring Brandi slobbering all over the table like a bitch who doesn’t know whether she’s in heat or in pain.
    I really like Lisa Rinna and can even tolerate Kyle being a part of that group.
    Yolanda really annoys me when she goes on about Gigi forging her way and being so brave etc. I’m sorry but Gigi has it pretty easy with a ready made modelling career thanks to her Mom’s connections and a paid for apartment in NY and no worries whatsoever about where her next meal is coming from. I’m sure Yolanda herself had it much tougher as a young model until she met Mohammed. Plenty of college kids have to work to just pay their way and eat.
    Lisa V is the only authentic one on there when it comes to friendships, she never stabbed anyone in the back or started a fight. She’s always first to defend a friend. She’s apologized for things she knows she’s been falsely accused of to shut them up and still they want more. Yolanda and Brandi need to realize that just because they think they are owed an apology doesn’t automatically entitled them to one.

    • noarguingwithstupid

      Agree totally!!!! Yo Yo is just always trying to be so politically correct–annoying and disengenuous.

      • RealitytvJunkie

        I agree. Yolanda is very pretentious. I found it comical she was trying to act like Parson’s was some Ivy League University.

        • noarguingwithstupid

          I really felt like a dummy because I never heard of it!! Now if she said FIT or Harvard, or whatever– she’s thinks she’s a name dropper, but she fails miserably!!!

          • Trippinhhard

            She’s so accustom to doing it, being an ex model, that’s all she ever talks about, except my love David the king..

          • noarguingwithstupid

            David may be a great song writer, but as a person he is quite the boorish loser!!!!

          • Trippinhhard

            He doesn’t have time for that bs. He is very good at what he does, but they are boring..

          • Yolie

            I agree. He seems like a snoozefest who enjoys his own music more than everyone else.

          • noarguingwithstupid

            He loves himself and so does YO YO!!!!! Let them eat cake!!!

          • RealitytvJunkie

            Those two deserve each other.

          • BeachSpin

            He loves basking in his own genius.

          • RealitytvJunkie

            AGREED.

        • Trippinhhard

          I had to look it up, never heard of that university..
          Although there is plenty of things I don’t know..lol

          • Yolie

            I looked it up also. I never heard of the school. Glad I’m not alone.

          • Trippinhhard

            Good I don’t feel so bad now. lol

          • RealitytvJunkie

            Most don’t know outside of New York. It’s not a highly acclaimed school.

          • RonnieIsBack

            Parsons is the chit! Project Runway is from Parsons…great school.

          • noarguingwithstupid

            Right!!!!!!!!! Now I remember!!!!!! What a great show and I did love that school!!!

          • WestCoastFeed

            There is also a Parsons in Los Angeles. Project Runway has also used the LA school.

        • BeachSpin

          The ironic thing is that Yo doesn’t give a crap about any school.

          • noarguingwithstupid

            You can say that again and again!!!!

          • BeachSpin

            She tries to force herself to sound like she cares…but fails at it.

      • Chloe

        The scene on the plane with Yo showing off was annoying. Her acting like David owned the plane made me want to gag.

        • noarguingwithstupid

          I think a “sick bag” is what we all need when it comes to YO YO—She is just sooooooooooooooo full of herself!!!

      • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

        It’s amazing how she is so prudish and proper when it comes to the other wimmens but she tolerates it from Brandi too.

    • BeachSpin

      YES! Thanks Beverly! I completely agree…I am loving Lisa Rinna, and you nailed the Gigi scenario.

    • Yo makes me queazy because I keep remembering how she scolded Gigi for eating. And it’s honestly like, the way she brags on her daughters, like she wants to live her life through them almost? Like she wants to relive her glory days? I mean, is it just me?

      • BeachSpin

        NO! You nailed it.

      • RealitytvJunkie

        That’s accurate and it’s sickening to watch.

        • It’s something very odd when a mother encourages her children not to eat. I get mad at my son when doesn’t eat. LOL

      • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

        No it’s not just you. It’s very sad that all she seems to focus on is them becoming the next top model – maybe Yolanda has given up on the lifestyle show and now wants Tyra’s job? It’s so backwards too to encourage them to put modelling before their education.

        • Exactly! I’m all for women having aspirations, but it saddens me to see some girls only just be a pretty face.

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Thanks for making a another boring episode seem entertaining. Great recap. Kathy Hilton has no business criticizing other people’s children considering she raised Paris Hilton. I don’t feel very much for either Richards sister but I felt a little protective of them against that waxen witch.

    • noarguingwithstupid

      She always looks like she is smelling something bad!!!!! (Maybe it is herself!!!!)

      • RealitytvJunkie

        Hahaha. That visual is very funny. She looks down on her sisters yet she’s appearing on the show alongside them.

        • noarguingwithstupid

          I love the show Pump, but can do without that witch for sure!!

          • RealitytvJunkie

            With her boob-gap-suffering button-up shirt, lecturing a bride on her choice in a wedding dress is like throwing stones in a glass house. Or throwing giant diamonds in a glass mansion with glass guest house and glass infinity pool in terms that Kathy would understand.

          • noarguingwithstupid

            LOL!!!!

      • Yolie

        I was thinking the same thing, lol!

    • BeachSpin

      LOL…Thanks Reality! I thought Kathy’s appearance was hilarious…the matriarchal bitch making a cameo!!

  • Yolie

    Lisa Rinna doesn’t fit with this group. Everything is stiff and rehearsed. The laugh is just a bit too practiced, the chatter seems just a bit too forced. Maybe it is new-girl jitters. And those lips. Yikes!

    • noarguingwithstupid

      Fish lips

      • Yolie

        Bingo!

      • BeachSpin

        That have been in a boxing match.

        • RonnieIsBack

          *Dead*

      • Chloe

        Trout mouth.

        • noarguingwithstupid

          :)!!!!

    • ZammyB

      Nope, I disagree. I think her fabulosity fits right in. I am a huge fan. She’s funny and makes you laugh. She’s just a very animated person. I’ve never seen her not be so animated.

  • This recap was filled with shade! I love it. Brandi moves into a new house each season. Is she too trashy to even pay the rent? What is going on with that? And yes, Kyle is very desperate to be seen with Lisa. Those other girls dislike her so much because no matter what they throw at her, she always comes out spotless. She handles them as if they truly were peasants, she makes them come to her, because like the true queen she is, she never leaves off her thrown.

    • Trippinhhard

      Girl you have a way with words, I love it..
      Lisa knows how to handle each one of them, and it kills them that they can’t throw her out… Checkmate Lisa knows exactly how to play the game and she has a good heart. She loves the strays..

      • Thank you, thank you. Lisa remains the true consummate professional in everything she does. She doesn’t have to raise her voice, she doesn’t have to curse, she just cuts them down to size without saying anything, because they’re truly not worth her breath, and that eats them alive.

    • BeachSpin

      LMAO…EXACTLY!! Love this!! (:

    • RonnieIsBack

      Yasssss which is why I LOVE Lisa V. Queen of Snotty Shade…and they eat it up!

  • Chloe

    Love your recaps, Beach. Brandi is broke and a nomad. She has no place in Beverly Hills and on this show. The rest of the ladies are rich and glamorous and there’s Brandi…broke and drunk. I have no clue why Lisa V befriended her in the first place – for her own amusement? Out of pity? To annoy Adrienne? Whatever the reason, it is ludicrous for anyone to think that this was a friendship for the ages.

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Chloe! Picture a combo of adopting a stray cat and My Fair Lady.

      • Chloe

        Great recaps! Thank you.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Lisa likes strays….Cedric..the lady on the side of the road whom she later hired as the newest help.
      the ENTIRE Vanderpump Rules cast….lol

  • RonnieIsBack

    As always I LOVE your recaps Beach!
    I fast forwarded through Lemons Yolo scenes..she gets on my nerves and she should stop frying that thin chit on her head. She needs reconstuctor and a pixie cut or a wet set and should just leave it be for now. Her daughters are pretty…boring..#RunBellaRun
    Kim…next
    Portia is hilarious and Kyle needs to just stop with the bullchit. She loves her bratty act (ala the next Milania) and the very obnoxious clothing she read on screen she bought for Portia (I left my Louis on the Yacht). Why in the hell is Mo renting all these expensive toys (the yacht, last week the jet, etc.) Something to prove MoGreasio.
    Brandi is just tacky and Lisa V SlAYED HER BROKE AZZ IN HER BLOG THIS WEEK. Funny read. My favorite quote was somehting liek phuck forgiveness it is about AWARENESS (I said phuck lol).
    I am liking Lisa R and Eileen…

    • ZammyB

      Did she?! I haven’t even read it yet! Doing so now!

    • Ahahahaha!! I will have to check that out. Thanks Ronnie!!

    • MorningYawn

      YES on Lisa’s blog! She nailed the stork.

      As for Mo and his expensive rentals… I think it is a total shot at the Hiltons. After seeing Kathy and her nastiness, I wonder if they (Kathy and RIck) made a comment when Mo left Hilton Realty like he would never make it, that the Hilton real estate practice was the best in the state, etc., etc. Kathy is at the top of the food chain, but I think Kyle wants to be damn sure she knows that they are on their way up that food chain (although until Mo owns hotels all over the world, nevah happen).

      • RonnieIsBack

        LOL at the “stork”
        She looks EXACTLY like a stork..a drunk one carrying a booze bottle with those boney azz legs…

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks so much Ronnie! YES! OMG, your assessment is hilarious and SPOT ON! I like Lisa a lot…hopefully Eileen will come thru and be fun too. RUN Bella!! Just do it sober…lol

  • ZammyB

    You’re recap was great! 🙂 I especially love the stripper pole comment. Also, if Brandi knew Eddie over paid by 100k, why would she not think he found that out. I am sorry but when her comeback was, her boys needed to eat….well I didn’t get that either. She spent 100k on food? She didn’t think someone would just be like, oh yeah, take 100k from me and spend it on Botox, wine, and tampon strings and be ok with that…OY VEY! As she said she found her voice?! What voice is that?! That she needs constant approval from people to feel good about herself. She had support at the party, needed Kyle to make the call. She can’t call and apologize and say BUT I AM STILL mad about everything. So being mothered and being told to stop drinking so you don’t act like an ass is a bad thing?! Also WHAT is she hurt over?! I don’t get it…still to this day! She tried to take Lisa down, Yoyo and Splits tried to take her down to replace her and they all failed! I have NO IDEA WHY Yoyo or Kim are on the show. I liked Eileen she seems funny…I mean come on its KRISTEN DIMERA! (AHHHH) N Harry…gosh, I think he’s a hottie.

    • Hey Zammy! So far this show is insufferable for me. I thought Eileen and Lisa R would spark something but their additions have been duds for me. I watch this other show on Lifetime called “Prison Wives Club” and the “The Sisterhood” far more interesting and funny shows.

      • ZammyB

        Thanks for the recommendation on the shows. I’ve moved back into scripted after most of the RHW’s shows last season. This and the RHOC are the only ones I can stomach,

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Zammy! I always think LA Law when I see Harry..he is so cute.

  • Dani-K

    That scene with Kim’s ex husband nearly brought tears to my eyes but that sister of theirs, Kathy Hilton, ruined it when she complained about the first bridal dress. Forget about Yes to the dress. Say no to that ho! And Kyle made a HUGE mistake letting Brandi use her phone. HUGE!

    • noarguingwithstupid

      Kyle is not the only dimwit in that family!!!

    • ZammyB

      BAHAHAHA! Say NO to the HO! Can Kathy send that memo to Paris? Thank you very much!

    • MorningYawn

      NO to the HO! Amazing! Mind if I use that statement in real life???

      • Jennymckitty

        So odd considering that her daughter wore a dress similar when she married in Vegas.

      • Dani-K

        If it hasn’t already been taken by Kathy for her new reality show!

        • MorningYawn

          You’re da best!

    • Jennymckitty

      Kathy…ugh. I guess since Nicki eloped in Vegas & Paris is, well, Paris she knows she won’t be able to plan an actual wedding for her daughter’s so she is horning in on Kim’s. I don’t know why Kim and Kyle treat a visit from Kathy like having an audience with the Queen. What has she done besides marry well?

      • Dani-K

        Nail on the head! Bottom line: Kyle and Kim are more famous. Ouch! That’s gotta hurt.

  • Awesome recap Beach!! I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t like anyone on this cast. This show has officially jumped the shark and needs to be cancelled. Everything…… from Kathy Hilton’s obnoxious critiquing to Kyle & Lisa V flaunting their wealth…. to Portia acting like the knock-off Milania. Enough with this cast already.

    • noarguingwithstupid

      I know Mauricioooooooo is Portia’s Dad, but who is the Dad for the other girls? I have missed who that is!!!

      • Hi sweets! All the girls with the exception of Kyle’s eldest (the 23-yr old?) are Mauricio & Kyle’s.

        • noarguingwithstupid

          Thank you!!!! They just don’t seem that close, but then who wants to be on camera at that age???

          • So true! You know how teenagers are especially rich spoiled ones. I am SOOO tired of Kyle & Lisa flaunting their wealth. YoLemon also. It’s distasteful.

          • noarguingwithstupid

            And then Yo Yo tries to act and tell her girls how money is just not that important!!!! (Just modeling!!!!!!!, not an education!!!!!!)

          • WestCoastFeed

            Hey, that’s what I want to see–the rich flaunting their wealth. I loved those private jets.

      • ZammyB

        Is he not their dad?!

    • ZammyB

      Bahahaha…maybe that’s what upsets Kyle the most that she is not the first but the second bratty girl of Bravo TV.

      • Hi Zam! 🙂

        You know it does bother her because the mommy is a brat herself. And all the annoying pretending like she don’t want to spoil Portia….so why the eff they didn’t take her to the Children’s Place instead. Ugh!!

        • noarguingwithstupid

          I guess Target is just totally out of the question!!!!!

        • ZammyB

          Hi! 🙂 EXACTLY! She’s loving the fact that Mauricio is making the dollars now. N that she’s climbing up that ladder.

    • LCF815

      I really am over the entire cast too, seriously the only one I care at all about is Kim. The rest are so contrived and think they are so important that they bore me to tears. Brandi used to be interesting but her trailer trash ways have wore out their welcome with me.

      • WestCoastFeed

        Hi, LCF. It’s great to find another Kim fan. I love her sense of humor and her honesty. She is the one who sees through the nonsense.

      • Hi LCF…. So true! At least we know Kim is real, she’s too emotionally unstable to be fake. LOL!

  • WestCoastFeed

    Thanks to Bravo for returning to the original concept and showing us wealthy women enjoying their wealth. Only tarnished at the end of the show by the requisite Lisa vs Brandi throw down. Too bad they can’t just turn to the camera and say. “Look, gang, you do realize we have to do this. don’t you?”
    My heart goes out to Kim. This is not going to be easy for her.
    Looking forward to next week and seeing the yacht and Majorca.

    • MorningYawn

      YES! I thought the same thing. SO fun to see all of the glitz and the glamour and the $. That’s what we all thought we were getting from the start. These first few shows have made me happy for that reason. Seems that things will change, but for now, I am loving it.

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    Gigi looked like a hot mess last night. She either looked coked out or like she’s been doing speed (common in the modeling world where being pin thin is of utmost importance). She didn’t look healthy at all. I can’t stand Yolanda’s PHONINESS. There is not a real bone in her body–and it’s so obvious. She’s not an actor so she can’t even play “happiness” properly. She looks like she’s trying SO hard to convince us she’s madly in love and SO happy and everything is perfect. I’m personally waiting for the news to come out that perennial cheater David Foster is with a younger woman. The man is a serial cheater.

    Oh Brandi–how can I ever dislike you more. Next to you, even snaky Vyle looks like a better person than she is. Brandi’s passive-aggressive phone call to Lisa was horrid. And Vyle panting along side her–just wanting–hoping–even HELPING Brandi to try to take Lisa down–it was all too disgusting.

    I used to dislike Vyle more than anyone (Kimbecile is just a hot mess and shouldn’t be on the show but her behavior is not malicious like Vyle’s and Brandi’s). And I was reminded yet again why I dislike Vyle. She’s constantly trying to outdo everyone. Now she’s trying to make Portia into a brattier kid that Milania–and she’s succeeding. That little girl is horrid, spoiled, and bratty. And if anyone thinks she’s got an acting career ahead of her, they better take her to a speech therapist first.

    This show has beyond jumped the shark. If it weren’t for Lisa V. I really wouldn’t watch it. The returning cast is HORRID as usual (except Lisa) . I should say that I like both Lisa and Eileen (so far–but she hasn’t done much yet).

    • Hi Heels!! Great assessment. This show does nothing for me anymore. Watching is becoming increasingly painful. It just lacks substance of any kind to me. Every scene is overly scripted and robotic. Yolanda acting like she sooo happy when we know she’s not. Kyle being forced to be by Brandi’s side during that call…I just can’t! Then Brandi saying repeatedly LVP can’t apologize or admit she is wrong is all way too much fakery for me.

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        Ugh, Doc–I so agree. I actually fell asleep for parts of it. I missed Kathy being a witch apparently. I think I’m about done with this show–I’ll still read the recaps. It’s just horrible. In fact, I think it’s about time to stick a fork in the entire franchise.

        • Ditto!! I honestly feel it’s time to pull the plug. I’m not impressed by any of their wealth. They ALL seem very unhappy to me and we already know none of it will last. And WTF is up with Brandi moving every season?? I see homeless shelter in her future after this show is done.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I can’t figure out why CPS hasn’t gotten involved with Brandi. Her thirteen year old son sleeps in her bed because she got a roommate? And moving around that often is terrible for kids. She’s just one hot mess.

            And honestly, even Lisa seems contrived this season. It’s just stale, flat, and old. Seeing wealth isn’t that impressive to me, personally. But then I’m not really an ostentatious type of person–I was always taught that you don’t flaunt or talk about your money. And most wealthy people I know don’t flaunt it like these nouveau riche’ a-holes. I liked these shows when it was about regular women (upper class) dealing with their work, families, relationship problems (the real ones, not the scripted pretend ones they do now). When the OC came out, it was NOTHING like these shows are now. Now it’s just bad television. I’m no longer watching I’ve decided (I decided that just in this convo!). LOL. I’ll still read the recaps but it’s too painful to watch.

          • Ewwww…her 13th yr old sleeps with her so he can rent his room out? What in the LOL kind shit is that????

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I know–really creepy. Brandi wanted to rent out her sons’ room so both her kids sleep with her. Way to screw them up. It’s just–ICKY.

          • She’s a horrible mom. I feel for those boys. Unfortunately, they will be screwed up just like her.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            ITA. And they don’t have much help on the other side either. Those poor kids.

  • MorningYawn

    No one sucks the life out of a room like Kathy Hilton and her nasty comments.

  • Shelly Jones

    OMG….did you all hear the TG is suing the lawyer that handled her bankruptcy for 5 mil? Claiming he was lazy and didn’t list assets and never met with her.

    • Oh so Teresa is smoking CRACK now because this claim makes NO sense. Her bankruptcy was denied because of fraud. The fraudulent bankruptcy is the reason she’s going to prison.

    • WestCoastFeed

      Yes, I just saw it. Sigh! She signed the papers.

    • Shelly Jones

      This poor thing just doesn’t get it. This stuff is serious, you cant just BS your way through stuff like this. You have to be on to of EVERYTHING. You have to take the time to learn about every document you sign, go over the risks of each options you take, know why you are dotting every “I” and crossing every “T”. Then when things don’t go your way its everyone else’s fault. No. No. No.

    • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

      Bwahahahahahahahaha!!!

      The forehead challenged chimp will never cease to amaze me!

      • WestCoastFeed

        In her tiny mind he is now the reason she is going to prison.

        • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

          It’s mind-boggling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen or heard of a more stupid person.

    • ZammyB

      Really? I am TG fan and I am happy that she is if all this is true.

      • Shelly Jones

        I did not like her seasons 1 & 2. Then her family came on and the whole cast turned against her. I didn’t jump on board and become a full on Tre hugger…but I admit I hated the way they ganged up on her. Especially Jacqueline… I think she’s unstable. Long story short, I don’t hate her but I feel she doesn’t own up to her ish. I was hoping jail would be the wakeup call.

    • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

      Ha! Next she’ll try to sue the pen company who allowed her to possess a writing implement to sign her name on the fraudulent mortgage forms. Or maybe sue the internet and whatever computer manufacturer that enabled her to download and forge W-2 forms.

      • Shelly Jones

        I think she definitely has a case to sue Robin Leach for making her desire the lifestyle of the rich and famous. Which obviously led to the alleged fraud (if you can actually call it that). Allegedly.

        • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

          LOL. And she definitely needs to sue Neimans and Nordstroms for enabling her shopping addictions by providing her with those store cards she didn’t pay off.

          • Shelly Jones

            Please add all leopards to the list. Their irresistible pattern must be held accountable for Tre’s action as well.

  • Jennymckitty

    Brandi pounding screws into the walls of her rental…that we all know she will be out of by next year. Between that and the dog pee & poo from last year, no wonder it is hard to find a place to lease.

    • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

      I guess she hasn’t seen those Command products commercials that show how to hang stuff up that won’t harm your home. No wonder her landlords are always suing her.

      • Jennymckitty

        That’s exactly what I was thinking as she tried to destroy the dry wall with a screw.

        • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

          LOL–me too. I kept falling asleep last night. Brandi is getting too much air time. My stomach can’t handle it.

    • I imagine it’s a month to month rental Bravo set up and as soon as filming was done, she had to move.

  • ImaSayinIt

    LOVED this recap!!!
    Hit the proverbial nail on the head every single time!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks! 😀

  • MorningYawn

    I really loved watching Kim and Brooke at the bridal boutique (ignoring Fun Snatcher, Kathy Hilton, of course). I think it was the most authentic (how is that for grammar) we have seen her on the show. She was so full of pride in her daughter! And then the revelation about Brooke’s father, we saw the strength that the real Kim, the sober one, really does possess. The strength to be there for her ex AND the strength to be a rock for her daughter in what should be the happiest time of her life, after a devastating day. She kept it together like a mom is supposed to do for her daughter. Lastly, I was really glad that Kyle acknowledged how much strength Kim does possess. I wanted to give Kim and Brooke a huge hug.

    All that said, I wonder how long she was able to be strong for… is this why she started drinking again – if in fact she has been drinking again?

    Lastly, I think Kim had someone write her blog… based on the fact that it was four pages. But it was real and honest, so good for the ghost writer or Kim.

    • WestCoastFeed

      Kim is going to have to be very strong. Believe me, I know. And may all the angels surround her and Monty for his remaining days.

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    OH! On a side note, did anyone else notice the skid marks on Portia’s underpants. That was gross and hilarious. Kyle was furious that the camera caught it (haha–perfect child/life has skid marks).

    • Minkyfoxtail

      Bahahaha!! No! I missed that and I’m bummed I did. That child is sickeningly spoiled. That’s awesome… I hope to catch that episode again, and yes, I just realized I have extreme issues for WANTING to see that, but it’s really only for Kyle’s reaction!

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    I’m just watching this again (since I fell asleep out of boredom last night) and I have to say how disgusted I am that David and Yolanda rent that HUGE (ostenatious and obnoxious) plane to travel private.

    This is really terrible for the environment. Wasting all that space on a plane for two people spews all kinds of unwarranted and unneeded waste into the environment. It’s offensive. What is even more offensive is that these people prance around and discuss it as thought they are PROUD of kicking Mother Earth in the ribs just a few more times. These two are crap.

    I know some wealthy people–truly wealthy but you would never know it to look at them. They are never over-the-top. Yes, they live in a beautifully home that is always maintained and they dress in designer clothes but they never flash tons of diamonds or a mini car lot in their garage and driveway. One wife I know even wears a simple 18 kt gold band for a wedding ring and she could buy and sell both these two bozos probably a couple of times over–and likely more.

    I thought the ostentatious show and tell was a big turn off. Material wealth is not really important–and the older I get, the more I realize this. What is important are the people you love and the quality time you spend with them. It’s not wrapped up in a 250,000.00 (!) ring. How much good could that money do in Africa where they are fighting Ebola?

    I guess I’m getting cranky in my old age.

    • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

      ITA. Yolanda has always claimed to be frugal – remember her negotiating with that poor artist in the gallery for a painting and saying she only pays half price for everything? She has worn that white shirt dress lots of times on the show now so I get the impression she’s mean when it suits her. It doesn’t tie in with this kind of spending on a private jet. Surely Mohammed’s financial subsidy will be coming to an end and I’m not sure how much David has but they don’t seem like big spenders. I wondered if David charges those jets as an expense for appearances etc as they only seem to do it when he is travelling?

      • equinox2009

        I know King David is HUGE in music world but I think he has no personality and is a pompous ass. He doesn’t seem like he’s into Yolanda either, she tries too hard!