Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: “Spill The Tea” [Episode 3]

Posted on Nov 24 2014 - 10:45am by Ronnie D

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Last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” is titled “All Tea All Shade,” when it should have been titled All Tea, All Shade and Oh Chit! It was a verbal smack down. Let’s go!

First we take a stroll through lush life with Kenya Moore and my favorite Auntie, Lori. I guess people kept calling Kenya a heaux, so she decided to become a gardner. Wait for it…Auntie Lori tells her she needs to forgive all those who threw stones and kill them with kindness. Kenya feels to forgive may be divine but a liar is a liar is a shady liar and those wenches need to apologize. Good luck with that Kenya. Aunt Lori feels a resolution is possible. Kenya asks does she know who she films with? In true Bravo shade form they show Porsha, NeNe and Phaedra verbally gang banging Kenya at the reunion like they were getting paid to do it. Kenya will get back to her aunt about that forgiveness tip. Then Kenya quotes Shakespeare (I believe it was from Othello). Now there’s that Cass Tech DPS education I love and know very well. Touché.

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Meanwhile on Shady Lane Kandi, wearing Riley’s pants, meets up with Phaedra and My Little Pony, Porsha to discuss Cynthia’s party. Porsha tries to throw digs about Cynthia being a follower (pot meet kettle, just sayin’) and messy Kandi informs Porsha that Cynthia isn’t feeling all warm and fuzzy about Porsha anyway so catch that dirt. Then Kandi tells Porsha that Kenya has a friend named Claudia who understands how Kenya feels. Porsha retorts wait until she gets to know Kenya. Sorry Porsha, she has known her for over 10 years. No flip flopping for Claudia. When Phaedra arrives Kandi lets her know she missed the big reveal from Apollo where he admitted the lied about everything. Of course Porsha, who is just a bit thick in the head, (must be all the weave), wants clarification and asks, but they met in LA right? Kandi reiterates HE LIED ABOUT EV-VER-RY-THING. Porsha does the rut-rho head tilt and then attempts to drill Phaedra about all her conversations she should have had with her huzzzband about the situation. Yeah, like the convo you had with Kordell when you found out on Twitter about your divorce. I thought Phaedra would say Fix It Jesus, but instead she says, “oh poor Kenya I guess I owe her an apology.” Kandi says they all do. I’m not buying it, but it was nice see a Christian side of Phaedra, with a little cussing (Oh the Phuckery).

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Cynthia is chopping veggies and taking names while fixing dinner for her man.  She is livid that Porsha is talking smack when she really wants to just smack her. She accepts that fact that Porsha is NeNe’s newest puppet. She can spot that role better than anyone because she held the position last. Peter senses her aggression and tells her to be careful with her words. Cynthia lets him know that is she is the same classy woman, but she no longer takes any chit from anybody anymore. Then she blesses the meal.  #Boss.

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Now we are exposed to sexy time with Kandi and Todd. They had sheets and toys and yet there is nothing sexy about this scene. Kandi wants babies pronto and Todd wants space because he is now cough working cough and too busy. Ok.

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Meanwhile in another bedroom, Kenya and Claudia are shopping for bedroom furniture because Claudia has recently moved to Atlanta. She was offered the job with Rickey Smiley, which is the real reason why she moved to Atlanta. The “Real Housewives” show is just gravy. Claudia wants to come home to sexiness. They have a good laugh talking about her nonexistent love life and her powers in the sack. You can tell they are real friends.  Claudia calls herself a lovable assh*le. I hope so. She seems funny and when she pulled out her weave clips with no shame, I was like that’s my girl!

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Next, we see NeNe visiting her only friend on the show, Porsha. She rings the door bell that doesn’t work. She complains to Porsha about it. In true NeNe fashion she throws shade in her talking head about Porsha driving a Rolls, having a sugar daddy, but having a door bell that doesn’t work. Welcome to friendship with NeNe. The shade is real. Sidebar: Redemption for All About The Tea – you heard it here first about Porsha and her out-of-the-country suga daddy (Read the juicy scoop here). Porsha tries to shade Cynthia’s Ebony Magazine professional photo she used on the invitation (she didn’t send to Porsha) by calling it thot-like. As opposed to Porsha’s classy “Naked Weave” bondage shoot. NeNe pretends not to know what a THOT is or who even Claudia is (back track to 2009 when NeNe tweeted Claudia ,telling her she was her girl and she is doing a great job paving the way- but I digress.)  Look it up. They both hint that Apollo was lying trying to cover for KenyaPorsha starts saying bloop and she is hood rich and using all types of Moose-isms of her newest master/owner/BFF.  #AndYetTheyStillRepossesedYourPeach.

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We get another glimpse of Phaedra in the pool (this time not wearing a thong, Thank Gawd!) playing with her sons. It’s endearing. She says that if taking them to visit their daddy in prison is traumatizing, then no bueno. She also says they will be traumatized also when Apollo misses their kindergarten graduations. Funny, I don’t remember mine. Apollo on the other hand visits the only working divorce attorney in Atlanta, Randy Kessler, who basically tells him to get his ducks in a row. Apollo tells us that he loves his wife but despises everything about her. Ok then.

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Todd’s daughter, Kayla, arrives and she looks just like Todd with a weave. She is happy to move into the mansion. Kandi wants her to bond with Riley. Riley gives her the Mama Joyce treatment. They discuss duties, curfews, and allowances. Kayla isn’t too cool on a curfew and tells Riley she will feel differently when she is her age. Riley tells her she will be in college when she is Kayla’s age. Yup the shade was real.

We finally get to the meeting between the Queen of the Reading Room, Cynthia, and My Pitiful Pony Horsha. This match up wasn’t even fair but I loved it. Porsha arrived an hour late and Cynthia right away schools her on her tardiness. Yup, it’s on! Porsha says that Cynthia shouldn’t have anything to say about her when she gives interviews, even if she is bashing gays. Cynthia tells her don’t come for me and I won’t come for you. She also mirrors Porsha with her hand gestures and then tells her to “keep my name out of your wide mouth.” She lets Porsha knows that she sounds just like NeNe but with a longer chin. Ouch! 

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Porsha tries to say Cynthia was Team Porsha but now she is flip flopping. Last time I checked the reunion footage,  Cynthia didn’t leave the couch when Porsha showed her hoodness. Cynthia tells Porsha she only admitted that she was provoked but she has never been Team Violence. Cynthia reminds Porsha that everyone calls her dumber than snot but it’s funny that the only person Porsha chooses to pick a fight with is her. You hear crickets. Yeah marinate on that Porsha. We’ll wait. Porsha then resorts to making fun of older women in her talking head, because that’s all she has. Meanwhile, Cynthia in her talking head says Porsha  is too busy flip flopping with old men for cars and bags. Ding Ding we have a winner! Cynthia leaves and the library is closed.

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  • TINA

    Porcha was the winner! the old lady was trying to act hard & failed. She was always so sweet i liked her for yrs now I think she is trying to save her job on the show… Not working! LOL!

    • charma

      Old lady? Lord, you must be about 15!

      • Yolie

        It’s funny when I hear people consider Cynthia old. I want to age like her because she looks younger than some 20-year old I know.

    • PB

      Old lady? If you live long enough to become an adult you will mature enough to realize that a woman Cynthia’s age is a long way from being an old lady. If you think Cynthia is old you might need to switch over to Nickelodian.

      • classycns

        What these young whippersnappers don’t know is that if they don’t live to be old and deplorable like a 40 something means that they died prematurally, like in their 20’s & 30’s. The youngins are freaking clueless. LOL.

    • Marsbars09

      Hi Tina! Cynthia is a sinking ship on that show. She really should have left two seasons ago.

  • I’m so glad that Cynthia got Poorsha together! As much as Cynthia has been getting on my nerves this season, you don’t invite someone to a sit down and then be late, and on top of being late, don’t acknowledge you’re late and don’t apologize. Then, she has a problem with Cynthia bringing her name up in the media? For one, after she attacked Kenya, she was all over the media, and everyone was asked their honest opinion about the situation. On top of that, she did deliver a homophobic speech. It’s out there. People will be asked their opinion, and if you don’t like what Cynthia has to say about you, suck it up and move on. Funny how NeNe can call her a bad friend, Phaedra can in so many words call her stupid, but time Cynthia opens her mouth, she has a problem.

  • Oh and I find it that the Twitter activists wanted Kenya’s head for texting Apollo, but both NeNe and Cynthia point blank put Poorsha on blast for dating a sugar daddy, a married one at that, and it’s mum’s the word.

    • RonnieIsBack

      I know the duplicity of it all is horrendous…
      Nene also flirted with Uncle Ben Peter for years so much so that on the reunion it was addressed..but she wasn’t called a whore…
      ohhh the shade of it all…

  • PB

    What is Porsha talking about? Cynthia Is two-faced, but she never waivered on what she thought about the Kenya-Porsha situation. She didn’t take sides but just said kenya provoked porsha, but porsha should not have become violent.

    • Jennymckitty

      I think it is fine to see both sides of a story. However, You can’t only agree with the person you are with & not tell them about how you feel about the other side. That’s how you come off looking two faced.

      • Marsbars09

        Hi Jenny! How are you doing? It’s been a long time since I’ve chatted with you.
        I hope all is well in your world.

  • HOTNTX50

    Cynthia is the biggest two-faced Peach of them all. Is she up Nene’s ass Cynthia, or is she I’m a rude, bitch, needing her PMS meds Cynthia? She has talked smack about everyone on the show with one of the other women at one time or another (they ALL have). But this extra bitchy Cynthia is sooooo scripted.

    I didn’t watch most of last season because of all the fighting and Kenya was too much for me, but I have to say that this season is good! I like Claudia, Nene was funny as hell last night, I feel really bad for Phaedra & Apollo’s sons. Riley was too funny with the “I’ll be in college at your age”. Porsha…girl stop calling other people THOTS (Kettle meet Pot). Last night’s show was a nice mix of all of the women and their lives/stories.

    Great recap Ronnie!

    Saw Lisa Wu on WWHL with Kandi. The should do a “Where Are They Now” for all of the Housewives that are no longer on their Housewives franchise.

    • Marsbars09

      Hi Hot! Nice of you to drop by to comment!
      I too think Cynthia was being extra with the shade last night. It’s really unbecoming of her. She’s doing everything possible to secure a spot on the show.

      • HOTNTX50

        Hey Mars! I agree…it was over the top
        bitchiness and if she is OVER Nene and Porsha, then why is she talking about them every time she is shown?

        • Marsbars09

          For her non-existent storyline (?).

          • HOTNTX50

            Exactly!

  • Marsbars09

    Great recap Ronni!
    I think Cynthia is being extra with the shadiness and verbiage in order to secure her spot on the show. It isn’t natural for her to behave this way.
    Is it just me or is Todd acting a bit funny lately since marrying Kandi? When Kandi brought up the topic of having a baby Todd comes up with the excuse that he might not be there for her as often as she likes due to his job. That sounded really odd to me as I thought Todd wanted a child with Kandi.
    Bravo is sure playing the sympathy card to the hilt when it comes to Fake. They’re portraying her as a single mother raising two sons alone, which is true, but Fake is a snake. The only people I have sympathy for are her two sons.
    I

    • RonnieIsBack

      Thanks Mars! How are U?
      I agree about Todd..he is smelling himself..

      • Marsbars09

        I’m OK.
        Todd will definitely reveal himself as time goes on.

  • RonnieIsBack

    The fact that Peter said he didn’t think guys lied on their d*ck…
    Dayum Peter is something else…

    • RumChocolates2 .

      Men lying on their %$#@ happens a lot more than people think.

  • BeachSpin

    I was waiting for the new sexy teacher Cynthia to whip out a ruler and smack Porsha’s hand…or at least wave it in her face to provoke her! That would have been fun.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Hey Beach!
      She was working those glasses wasn’t she?

    • Yolie

      I enjoyed watching Cynthia school the dense student, Porsha. My favorite line of the evening was “flip-flopping all over a married man for cars and bags.” I give Cynthia that round. Excellent read!

  • Great recap, Ronnie!

    That was rude of Riley, I’m starting to see a little Mama Joyce in her. With all the money Kandi has and all the opportunities she’s been able to provide for Riley, her little ass should be in college when she’s Kayla’s age, she has no excuse. I know Todd takes care of his daughter but we don’t know what Kayla’s living situation was with her mother in New York.

    It amazes me that even with the truth Nene refuses to see why Kenya deserves an apology. And the nerve of Nene to say Kenya’s been around the block when we all know she slept with Greg while he was a married man. She needs to have a seat in the corner with her hypocrite cap!

    • classycns

      Riley was raised by Momma Joyce when Kandi was chasing fame, money and men. That is why Kandi is so sensitive about her mother and daughter. She has guilt about not being there to raise her own child and her mother and daughter exploit her guilt not just materially but emotionally as well. Kandi claims to be close with family but she is always being hurt by them. There is some deep seated hurt there and it has nothing to do with Todd.

      • RealitytvJunkie

        I didn’t know Riley was raised by Joyce. That explains her stank attitude. She acts just like her miserable grandma.

        • classycns

          Well I won’t say completely raised but Kandi said the momma Joyce always took care of Riley when Kandi was on tour or traveling for work.
          It’s similar to when grandma takes care of the baby or young child when the single mom goes to work every day. Or when wealth people and famous people travel all the time for work and leave the child with the nanny. The child will usually become closest to whoever is there the most. In Riley case it was Momma Joyce.

      • Thanks Classycns. This is deep! Sad that family would intentionally hurt you but it happens. As much as Kandi gets on my nerves, I do feel bad for her. The whole family has issues and could use some therapy.

    • Yolie

      I agree. Riley is a spoiled brat that is unfortunate in many areas. Especially her ponderous attitude and weight.

  • Raine Woman

    Ronnie, your recaps are the exact reason I don’t have to watch this show, thanks. I know I’ll regret this but….what or who is THOT? Are they related to Felicia?

    • Marsbars09

      Hi Raine! On last night’s episode Porsha so elegantly stated that THOT stands for, “That ho over there”.

      • Raine Woman

        So maybe I should have watched the episode. Thanks, Mars! Nice to see you. 🙂

        • Marsbars09

          You too Raine! I hope you have a wonderful holiday!

    • RonnieIsBack

      LOL and thanks! you know I actually caught Friday on cable this Saturday. Felicia was the crackhead who kept coming around begging for ish..so Ice Cube told her Bye Felicia.
      The THOT chit was newly formed and stands for That Hoe Over There…which is why it made absolutely no sense for the biggest Thot Horsha to call Cynthia a Thot.
      Porsha is a PeaBrain…1/2 a pea brain

      • Raine Woman

        Thanks, Ronnie. My next question was going to be “Who the hell is Felicia?”

        • RonnieIsBack

          LOL no worries, we got you boo on this site. if none of us cannot help you, there is always the Urban Dictionary…I learned some chit from there also.

  • RonnieIsBack

    If yall had the chance to sit down and Read Horsha…what would you have said?
    Go!

    • CoolBreeze14

      “You dumb wanna be 15 year old, fake, Arsenio Hall, weaved up THOT, have several seats!” That’s what I would have said. LOL

      • RonnieIsBack

        LOLOL CB too funny. Now would you have worn glasses or nah? Readdddd!

        • CoolBreeze14

          LOL!! I would have kept my glasses on like Cynthia did! OMG I kept rewinding that scene over and over, I LOVED it!

    • classycns

      With or without security present? Because we all know she’s a “Dumb Hoe” with a violent disposition. LOL.

      Seriously I would ask her when she was a little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. What was her favorite subject in HS? What was her career or job because she got married? Other that video “model” what was her other jobs between 18-30 before becoming a trophy wife?

      • RonnieIsBack

        If you need security, we can provide it…but go for it!

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Please get an education!

      • RonnieIsBack

        Boom!

  • Norrth

    Cynthia was so good, my head hurt when she was done. I laughed like I lost my mind. GO CYNTHIA!

  • CoolBreeze14

    Hilarious review as always! For me, Claudia and Kenya’s scenes and Cynthia destroying Porsha at that café were the highlights for me! Everyone was mad at Cynthia but I was loving it! It’s about time! Todd’s daughter looks just like him and his momma! It’s funny Riley looks older than Todd’s daughter! Riley is a thick chick and she looks like Mama Joyce! Todd won’t be around long folks. Keep watching.

  • CoolBreeze14

    People keep forgetting Porsha is in her 30s so for her to keep saying those women are OLD is laughable. Honey, you will be one day be old and this is coming from a chick in her 20s! Porsha is like 35 so it’s not like she’s SUPER young herself. I actually said this before but it seems to me that the viewers and possibly a couple of the housewives WANT Kenya and Apollo to SMASH! I’m just saying, it’s like some type fantasy that the viewers are obsessed with and as much as people say they are tired of this storyline, it ALWAYS attracts the most comments and attention!
    Claudia caught a lot of criticism last night over her “I’m biracial” comment but honestly I didn’t see anything wrong that she said! She was simply talking about her experience growing up most likely as a child in the 70s. I tell you pretty women don’t stand a chance on these shows!

    • RonnieIsBack

      She was telling the truth about her heritage. If she just said she was “black” then that would be denying her mom. I didn’t see a problem with it either. She proved she was a down azz chick when she took out her weave clips LOL. I love Ms. Claudia. And she is fluent in Italian….more so than those dumb jersey heauxs…

      • CoolBreeze14

        LOL I agree! You know how our society is. “One drop of black blood makes you black!” Smh. I wish this country would move on. Claudia looks better than those NJ chicks too! I can’t believe people actually think Porsha is prettier than Claudia. In what world?

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Thanks for a great recap. Porsha was wrong to be so late and not apologize. Then she made an ass out of herself with the age low blows. Her nonchalant attitude irked me.

  • Bonita Gee

    Looks like Kenya Moore and Claudia are getting on with it and living they lives…. both are fabulous.
    Looks like Phaedra doing what she has to do – raise her boys and living her life.

    Looks like Cynthia is getting on with her fabulous life and leaving the two IDIOTS alone…. Nene and Porsha…. those two need to GET their LIFE!
    Looks like now that Todd has his free RIDE and meal ticket he’s officially let Kandi know he don’t want the responsibility of any babies. He’s laid down the law on that subject ….so he’s living his LIFE!! Aaaaaaahhhh!!!! Oh well Kandi, no babies for you!

    And let me mention the BIG “I-told-you-so” AGAIN!! I TOLD YA’LL Apollo would be expecting Kenya Moore to visit him in prison… Aaaaaaahhhhh!! Next week asks Peter ”do you think she’ll visit me in prison?” Did you see the look on Peter’s face…. I can’t…..!! I told ya’ll that’s why he apologized and confessed about the lie he told on Kenya……………… that woman got him SPRUNG!!
    So all is well with The Real Housewives of Atlanta…..!! Oh except the two miserable busy bodies Nene and Prosha….. too bad, sooo SAD!

  • Yolie

    Love this hilarious recap! I noticed every time Nene was shown, she mentioned Cynthia. She seems to be holding onto the friendship for a storyline. Find a new storyline Nene.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Thank you. Keep coming back each week. We recap the tea with all truth and all shade.

  • Vicky

    The Cynthia and Porsha scene made my day .So hilarious ! Cynthia definitely won. ” situation solved ” Imagine Porsha saying in her confessional that Cynthia isn’t doing anything than pageant.