Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Reunion [Part 3]

Posted on Nov 12 2014 - 12:29am by BeachSpin

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-6-reunion-part-two-02

​We are waving good bye to New Jersey, and as I emotionally reflect back on this season’s ups and downs, the overwhelming response that floods my mind is…GOOD RIDDANCE! “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” is ending, and it’s time to gear up for Teresa’s swan song performance…that is until surrender day. To all of her fans out there, don’t fret…by looking at her, she likely won’t remember any of it. To all of you whose guilty pleasure is felon themed television…..no worries, because ‘a felon in every franchise’ is Bravo’s new tagline, so just swing on down south and catch the Atlanta version. We open with Dreamboat Jim at it again, challenging the crew of shorty men to a duel with a measuring tape. All of them laugh good naturedly, except Bobby, who is struggling to recall if he had remembered to wear his lifts. Jim is bummed that he couldn’t hang out with the most humorous, felonious couple on the show and resents that the others are calling him judgemental just because he pronounces both Teresas the same way. Jim reveals that he and Amber receive death threats, and that Jim’s killer coping strategy is to become a lightning rod for Dina’s gaudy jewelry.

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-6-reunion-part-two-02

Melissa thinks that Jim should follow Joey’s example and just tweet flexing selfies, and that visual almost causes Jim to quit Twitter forever. We reflect back for the tenth time on Jim’s behavior at the First Responding Stripper party, and the conclusion is reached that Dina is just plain dumb. Jim and Teresssa fight over who gets to dance on Teresa’s grave.

The chintzy Florida trip is remembered, and the Gorga/Ciasulli cuddle scene brings warm chuckles from Bobby and horrified cringes from Nicole.   A viewer accuses Bobby of being gay, and the entire cast knowingly snickers and assures Bobby that they think that’s just swell. Jim is voted the most scrumptious gator bait as a segue to bringing up the now officially overdone Motherfu**ergate morsel.  Jim slyly grins as he fondly remembers sending Bobby skittering to the bathroom, and Nicole is peeved at his obvious delight. Jim and Amber explain that they meant it as a drunken joke, which they thought fit in nicely with all of the penis and vagina banter that was being blasted around all night. Teresssa isn’t laughing, and the same sad face that I noticed all season is back…just sayin’. Teresssa describes Rino’s goofy character by calling him the pig that he is, and compliments Dina for uncharacteristically having a brain.  Rino asserts that Victoria Gotti is a liar and is insulted that she is spreading the nasty rumor that he is ever sober. Teresssa forcefully contends  that she could have beaten prison to the punch, and destroyed the Giudice family, and Teresa counters by asking her why she is waving her arms and flinging her extensions if it’s just a silly lie.  

RHONJ

Rino is glad that he wasn’t at the Florida fiasco because he is a fierce protector, especially when he’s absent.  The Joe Twins in the left rear react to that by laughing, and I am starting to think that Jim’s addiction has kicked in, and he is tweeting them one liners.  Jim loses patience and  blasts Rino and Bobby for being cowardly clucks and points the way to Bobby’s designated safe place, just behind the glittery backdrop. Rino informs us that he truly is a mighty warrior who wasn’t hiding, just sorta terrified of filming with Jim. We get a glimpse of Bobby’s shining moment when he called Nicole stupid, and Bobby boldly refutes this by saying oh whoops…well OK, just a little stupid.   He defends his lengthy hideout in the bathroom by explaining that he was tapping into his feminine side, and needed some alone time. Jim nails Dina to the wall by accusing her of taking the rumor seriously, and also shares his revulsion at the women’s treatment of Amber thru the weathering of her cancer scare. Teresa explains that Bobby and Jim’s breakup was just like she and Jacqueline’s, just with pants. Joe can hardly contain his laughter throughout the whole exchange, and entertains the back row of men with seemingly tipsy zingers.

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-6-reunion-part-two-02

It is determined that the bromance between Bobby and Jim is officially over, and Jim emotionally responds with a cute smirk. Teresssa believes in karma for Teresa, and rather than bore us with her legal expert analysis about their case, she concludes that this cast of the Wizard of Oz is too much to bear, and she just wants a house to fall from the sky and crush Teresa already. Teresssa rants about Teresa throwing her parents under the bus for one last time, and adjusts her toga in disgust. Andy asks them all what they have learned from this crapfest of a season, and Teressssa starts us off by sharing that alcohol makes you drunk in front of people. Nicole has learned to only care about what’s real, and Amber has learned that she looks stupid crying in white eye liner. Melissa has learned that little things don’t matter, and that Antonia was right about their disgusting little house.

real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-6-reunion-part-two-02

Dina has learned that she should have kept her soul and butt off TV, and I sincerely hope that this truth sticks. Teresa is sorry that she has let down her fans, but reminds us that her cookbook is on Amazon and makes the perfect stocking stuffer.  She informs us that she and Joe are human and have human children who she wishes could hang out in the slammer with her. Andy is planning to come visit and is fighting the tears as we all fondly watch that darling greatest hits reel of Teresa antics one last time. Teresa throws in one last plug for her new cooking show, “Flippin’ Tables with Tre”, then bids farewell with a hand squeeze and a reassuring smile from Andy. Didn’t Geraldo interview from the Big House? Andy is looking more like him by the minute. See you all out west!  I’m heading to where the REAL money is…Beverly Hills!

RHONJ

 

“Like” us on Facebook “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram

About the Author

I am a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. My bio is short, but my snark is endless, and I love writing for the sharpest posters in the world. Follow me on Facebook

  • TheBeverlyHillsHaveEyes

    Thanks Beach Spin. It feels like even Bravo were over this season with the way they scheduled the reunions. They knew they couldn’t hold viewers interest over 3 weeks so crammed it all in together. I hope Andy’s tears are because he knows Bravo won’t be working with Teresa again.

  • Excellent recap, Beach. HILARIOUS!!

    I’m ecstatic the season is finally over. Too many rabid Bobby and Tre fans for my liking. The RHONJ fans are worse than RHOA fans. I will say, without the men bringing the drama, this season would have a total bust. The men’s drama saved the season. It will be interesting to see what direction the network goes in next season. Next week, RHOBH starts and I’m not too excited for that series to come back but I will watch. RHOA is way more interesting because the drama doesn’t seem as contrived. The ratings for the RHOA premiere episode was 3.8 million viewers. Not bad ATL!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Seuss! The men livened things up for sure…thank goodness for that.

  • TartLemon

    Imagine being a fly on the wall where Jill Zarin was watching Andy Cohen tear up while fawning all over Teresa.

    • Birdie11

      Teresa makes him feel needed…Jill is smarter and stronger than he is. Teresa is his shelter puppy that he needs to adopt.

  • itsjustme

    I think my favorite part of last night was when Teresssssa stopped Tre in her tracks. They of course were talking about motherfu$Q## gate and Teressssa was asking Tre if HER mother would have slept with Joe and of course Tre said NO, BUT. Well she could hardly get the “but” out of her mouth and Teresssa SHUT.HER.DOWN! I never believed in mother(*#Q$(* gate before last night and I am even less inclined to believe it now. GOOD RIDDANCE TO THE GUIDICES!

    • TartLemon

      Yeah, then there’s Victoria Gotti on Wendy Williams proving Teresa Giudice is the one who set it all up.

  • WaWaWaWHAT!

    LOVE the recap!!! Hysterical…and RIGHT on point!!!
    Bye RHONJ…don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya…yo ass bitch BYE *waves*

    • BeachSpin

      TY WaWa!! Gotta laugh at this nonsense.

  • Birdie11

    Melissa has a little thing for Jim…she kept turning around and trying to engage him. I thoroughly enjoyed Joe, Joey and Jim laughing thru the whole thing. It was probably irking Andy. I also thought it was annoying that they showed a big reaction to Jim but cut out the reason for it…stupid editing, Bravo.

  • Jersey

    Finally, it’s over. The reunion really did not need three parts. I was bored out of my mind watching it last night..

  • She Stinks!

    Teresa Giudice acts like the victim yet again. What a fraud, literally and figuratively. They should of carted her off to jail the next day.

    Wants her daughters to come to jail with her? Yeah, what a great mother she is, don’t worry about their welfare, make it about you. She’s so horrible.

    And now after jail, she thinks she’ll get a cooking show? LOL, keep dreaming cretin!

    • Vince Foster, Jr.

      I hear she is going to try out for the voice afterwards

  • Dani-K

    The recap was so much better that part 3! Yawn. I really, really, really, cannot stand Jim. And I really hope that either Bravo picks a whole new cast or picks a whole new city.

  • WestCoastFeed

    Thanks, Beach, for the recap. It was far more entertaining than the show itself. Let us hope the lost footage episode has some redeeming moments for the dismal excuses for real people that Bravo introduced us to this season.

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Hi WestCoastFeed. Nice to see you posting again. The lost footage was shown already. It was the episode right before the reunion part 1.

  • Mimi

    Why is everyone jumping on Theresa for the rumor about Reno and Santa for you?did everyone forget that Amber must’ve told her husband about it in order for him to use it while vacationing in Florida?Amber is an instigator and during the reunion she sides with Teresa as if she had no part. Theresa may have listened to the gossip but she gave Dina the heads up so she could be able to handle Amber and Jim. Another reunion where everyone hates Theresa.

    • DoneWithBravo

      Why in the world would Dina need a heads-up about the Rino gossip??? If Dina is so Zen and level-headed, she’d be calm about it if it came out. No need to repeat gossip. It’s obvious that Gotti did it for her own gain, Teresa brought her on the show to say it for her own gain, Teresa repeated it to Dina (it didn’t appear to be willingly!!) for her own gain, Amber repeated it to Jim for her own gain and then Jim repeated it just to bust ’em.

      BTW, isn’t there going to be 1 more reunion before Tre heads off to the slammer?? Aren’t they rushing to film a quick season right now, to capture the “last” holidays with her wonderful family and bootiful daughters??

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Great recap, Beach. It was very obvious to me that Teresa was medicated for the reunion. No doubt about it. She was more than sad, she was drugged. The reunion was boring and I’m ready now for her to go to prison. I hope the cameras capture all that good stuff. I do feel bad for her girls. They didn’t choose their parents. Bon voyage NJ!

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Reality…and YES…time to move on!

  • Chloe

    Thank you Jaysus, it’s over!! I don’t think I could take anymore of this show.

    • Marsbars09

      Agreed. Part 3 was really a snoozefest.

      • Hey Marsie! Hope you’re having a good day. Has the cold front hit your neck of the woods? I’m also happy this stupid show is over. Andy needs to retire the 3-part reunion. This stuff could have all been covered in 2 parts.

  • Mortgage Fraud

    Do you pay Jim to write your blog I have never read such one sided crap TUNNEL vision

    • BeachSpin

      Well…for one thing, I can spell better than Jim..LOL! While I never am thrilled to hear my writing referred to as crap…I fully support the freedom to choose any dreamboat that your heart desires. Have a fun rest of your day MF.

      • Nene robs kids

        MF thanks for reading the blog even though you and your peeps claim to hate this blog! Why don’t you Marchese haters write your own blog and leave all the others alone? Burn up your hate writing a blog that your sheep will want to read. Have a wonderful day!

    • Now that the show is over, it must be a slow day for you. LMAO!!

    • ✿❀❁ Tigerlily ❁❀✿

      Maybe you should pay someone to teach you about punctuation marks.

      Or better yet, how to give an opinion without being rude & insulting.

    • Birdie11

      But you read it…so SNAP!

  • colleen

    Oh, Kids, I hate to say this, but I’m not liking Jim too much anymore. He’s a hoot on Twitter, but kind of a jack ass during the reunion.

  • colleen

    Ok, I have nothing profound to say regarding RHONJ reunion; just a few odds and ends. WHY does no one tell Bobby to go back to the dentist where he bought his choppers and get the two front teeth filed down? Cant he see when he closes his mouth, the two teeth stick out like a chipmunk?
    Also, was Rino so quite because he really is an OK guy or because he’s got a lot of skeletons to hide and Jim is stiffing around?

  • Nene robs kids

    This was the most boring reunion ever

  • Nene robs kids

    Great blog as usual!

    • BeachSpin

      TY Nene! Time to move to Beverly!

      • Nene robs kids

        Yes bring on the real rich bitches! BLOOP

  • Nene robs kids

    Thank you Jesus this joke of a season is over. I’m moving on to ATL and BH

  • Gabby

    Fantastic and witty recap as usual.

    Something that peeved me was how Teresa was allowed to feel like a victim and the justice system is picking on her for no reason or something. All the crying at the end with Andy, Dina and Teresa was simply nauseating. She did the CRIME and must do the TIME…plain and simple!

    Oh let me not forget how she apologized to her “fans” but NOT all the people she ripped off.

    • Nene robs kids

      Hey Gabby! BLOOP

    • Yolie

      Great points. Time to pull the plug on this show. The ratings tanked for a reason. Stick a fork in it Andy…it’s done.

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks so much Gabby! See you in BH!

  • Yolie

    Thanks for a funny recap Beach. Dina needs to stop being a zen hypocrite. She repeated the nasty rumor. I really hope she doesn’t come back next season. Bringing her back was a big mistake.

    • BeachSpin

      YW Yolie! 😀

  • Vince Foster, Jr.

    Loved Teresa’s remark that the show was all about her. She wants her kids to go to jail with her?

    • Nene robs kids

      Ego maniac and mother of the year

  • ✿❀❁ Tigerlily ❁❀✿

    Awesome recap Beach. Imho. Hilarious & so spot on.

    I just can’t with these people anymore. I am sooo done with all the Joisey, boring BS this season. Especially the Teresa & all of her lies!
    Bish still doesn’t get it! & she probably never will.

    • BeachSpin

      Thanks Tiger!! 🙂

      • ✿❀❁ Tigerlily ❁❀✿

        YW. (✿◠‿◠)

    • Birdie11

      T Lily! Where the heck have ya been?

      • ✿❀❁ Tigerlily ❁❀✿

        Hello my Birdie! How are you Honey? I hope you are well. Missed you guys.
        Been working too hard. Out here kickin’ butt & takin’ names! LOL!
        Well kickin’ butt at least! Not so interested in the takin’ names part. Ha-ha!

        • Birdie11

          I’m well T-Lily…I hope you are too! Take a break once in awhile to hang with us!

  • Gabby

    Someone needs to tell Teresa that having her kids visit her in a prison is ALWAYS the wrong choice!

    • Nene robs kids

      Well she said last night she wants to take them with her and that makes her mom of the century