Below Deck Recap: “Bitchy Resting Face” [Episode 5]

Posted on Sep 10 2014 - 11:34am by Wendy Owen

Below Deck

TOWELGATE! What did Kate know and when did she know it? Was the towel/blanket shape an unfortunate accident or was she aware of the implications? Zowee! Well, at least as Kat declares what we are all thinking: “It is the best towel-folded penis I have ever seen in my life!” Kat takes pix to show Ben, who declares what we are all not thinking: “I have never seen anything like this!” Kate, when asked, says it’s a rocket ship. Ben, who while he’s never seen a penis, has seen a rocket ship. He’s been to NASA. Meanwhile, Kat is running all over the ship to show everyone the blanket penis. The primary guest still hasn’t confronted Kate about it though, and Ben thinks Kate should go talk to them because her little dick prank may jeopardize everyone’s tip! That’s right! It’s not about civility in general — IT’S ABOUT THE TIP, YOU TWIT! Kate boldly stands up for herself. I’m still confused, though. Was it a blanket or was it a towel?

below-deck-season-2-kates-scandalous-blanket-fold-02

Meanwhile, the girls with the tatas are playing with the inflatable toys in the water, and we see the most precious thing: Captain Lee holding the rope so they don’t float out to sea. I wonder if he learned that in the Navy, Coast Guard or Merchant Marines?

A tempest in a different teapot – seems the maids or “stews” as they like to be called – are overwhelmed and want the deck maids – or “bosuns” I guess? – to help them more. In fact, Amy whines. Well, that’s just one glass too many for Eddie who declares that since they are a man down – did Andrew really count as a man? – and the “stews” don’t appreciate the help they’ve give thus far, they will no longer help the “stews!” Good for them! Way to advance disharmony and this get everyone in your boat rowing the in the same direction. (Just a thought, but how about helping them and then, when tip time comes, pointing out that they are man down and helped the “stews” so they should get a bigger cut?)

Mr. Primary Guest – I can’t be expected to type in their actual names, people! They’ll be gone from my life in another 32 minutes! – informs Captain Lee that there was a Towel Penis on his bed and he’s not sure what that means. Stoic as ever, the Captain tells him that he will look into it. (Just wonderin’ here, but how does a guy who brings a bunch of high-end strippers on a cruise find a towel offensive?)

Captain talks to Kate who decides the best defense is to deny, deny, deny. She assures Captain she’ll get to get to the bottom of this! Then Captain calls Eddie in to rat on Kate. Then Amy. Then Kat. Now he’s pissed because Kate lied to him. That’s grounds for termination. She’s still denying when Captain pulls out the phone photo of the towel, which she still claims was a rocket ship. EERRR!! Brakes squealing, Kate doing a 180 and claiming she’s the victim because the guests are bitchy by calling her bitchy. Best defense…..

Below Deck

Back in sexy time, Kelley and Jennice are flirting more instead of working, so Eddie sends Jennice to the beach with the guests. While back on board everyone’s worrying about some white party. Why a white party on a cruise? Don’t ask me! Oh! Back from commercial, we see that a white party means the guests are dressing in white and the food is white. Isn’t that special? The undercurrent is Kate needs to apologize to the dick upon whom’s bed she put a dick. She sucks it up and goes to him and apologizes, by telling him it was not meant to be offensive. He says ok. He doesn’t seem happy, though. I guess he’s a sensitive dick. Telling Kate she was bitchy because she’s the hired help is ok. Getting a dick on your bed is not.

Below Deck

The guests arrive at the beach party and there’s that annoying steel drum music playing. Does anyone like that sound, really? I mean, sure, a bar or two, but an entire songs? Yikes! A conga line as enthusiastic as as the Pope participating in Havah Nagilah dance is just an embarrassment.

Rain! Thunder! Wind! Lightening! The boat seems to be anchored in the middle of a squall, but the white party must go on. Ben is making some really white food. I mean, it’s all white. He’s even serving pork, the other white meat. When a guest complains she doesn’t eat read meat, Ben has to make her a sea bass instead, while grousing that everyone knows pork is white meat!

All of a sudden we’re above deck and Kelley grabs Jennice and plants a big one on her and leaves so that Jennice can decide later what she wants to do with it. Jennice displays “angst.” Of course, if she had made it clear she was totally unavailable due to having a boyfriend, there wouldn’t be any angst to show, would there? Hmmmm….

Below Deck

Above deck, some gross looking guest in a Euro-trash style speedo is humping one of the stripper girls on the table. This makes the guests hungry and Eddie ends up making them pizza because Ben has already gone to bed. Below deck, Kelley is telling Amy about the kiss he planted on Jennice, and she’ thinks it’s sweet. Above deck, Jennice relates to Kat that Kelley planted one on Jennice. After all her flirting, she’s now claiming he’s not right for her. Women, eh?

Final day, final breakfast, and the last chance to erase the memory of the penis. Seems the primary guest is leaving early, and as he does, he mentions the towel. Now, he says it’s hilarious and really enjoyed it. He loved the white party, the band, everything. He hands a big wad of an envelope to the Captain. The rest of the guests are dropped off at the harbor and no one cares since they aren’t giving a tip.

Round the table, time for the tip. Captain gives everyone the pep talk of how everyone needs to up their game, but, hey the tip is $18,000. That means $1,800 for Kate and her penis art.

Jennice tells Eddie that Kelley kissed her. She doesn’t tell him how she led him on. Meanwhile, Captain wants to talk to Kate AGAIN. Cryin’ out loud. He tells her she must be honest with him all the time. She doesn’t regret it. It’s all bull for the camera, isn’t it?

Below Deck

Back upstairs, Eddie says to Kelly that Jennice told him that he kissed her. He tells Kelley not to do that anymore. Awkward!

Anchor’s up and we sail again next week, mateys!

“Like” us on Facebook “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram

About the Author

I’m so fugly, the Dr slapped my mother when I was born.

If you love me here – and who wouldn’t, frankly? – you can follow my Twitter Time Line @WBVT_98FM and see just how many people I can offend on any particular day. <3

  • Wendy Owen

    Sneak peak at next week’s charter entertainment…..

    • nan/4

      I didn’t know that Ambuh sang too! Someone ought to tell her about her blush. :-/ Just sayin’…. hehe

      I hope that everyone has a great day today! 😉

      • Wendy Owen

        ROTFLMFAO!!! Yeah! The blush is a bit much, but I heard she gets lessons from Ramona Singer.

  • nan/4

    Hi Wendy! You did such a great job recapping this episode. This is one of my favorites, so I enjoyed seeing “blanketgate” played out. All I can say is thank-goodness that moron left them a nice hefty check! 15 big ones….WOWZERS!! Now about that kiss. They had been flirting non-stop, so I’m surprised by her reaction. Then to go tell on him…..oy. It did lack any kind of build up though. He’s cute but is he smooth? Not so much. I still wonder where this relationship will go. Kate needs to find herself a rich guy from one of those charters. Then she’ll be smiling all of the time. No more penis blankets for her…..nu uh. LOL I can’t wait until next week. It looks like more fun is headed our way! 🙂

    Thanks again!

    • Wendy Owen

      Hi Nan!
      Thnx so much! This was just all over the place, wasn’t it? towels, kisses, white parties, oh my!
      Poor Kelley. SO cute, but, yeah, that kiss looked more like a boat landing at Normandy than a romantic smooch!

      • nan/4

        He’s very cute. Her? Umm….He must be thinking with HIS penis blanket….lol 😉

        • Wendy Owen

          yes, seeing how she’s the only girl on the boat that looks like she won’t kill you….

          • nan/4

            Right on Wendy! LOL!!!!! 🙂

    • RealitytvJunkie

      Hi Nan. I totally agree. No one should be abused ever by anyone!! I think Capt. Lee should have said something in a professional way to the charter guest and tell them abusing staff will not be tolerated. However Kate has shown this behavior on other charters for no reason at all. She also admitted that she is burned out in the boating industry and it shows. When I’m on vacation I sure do not want to look at someone who is sour and unhappy looking all the time

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Awesome recap, Wendy. Love love love your recaps. I for one am on Kate’s side. Where I worked, customers were not allowed to abuse us. Calling her a bitch in front of his guests was uncalled for. He’s an arrogant ass and I think the boss should back her up!

    • Wendy Owen

      yeah, we all know Kate has that “face” she puts on, but as a guest, would you ever call someone out on that? uh, no. like, I’d gotta figure she’s got a crappy enough job as it is taking care of my fat ass.

  • Dave

    Thanks for the recap Wendy. Kate doesn’t care about tip because she has this job to find a rich husband and buy birkin bags but other crew members have bills to pay and families to support. She is selfish and careless. Find another job, maybe a blanket designer.

    • Wendy Owen

      that is a good idea! a job at macy’s in the linens department, folding things. 🙂

    • nan/4

      hahahaha!!!!!!

  • Dana

    Kelley step back she is a hood rat. Jennice really ? You want to be treated equally that you can be a great deckhand like any man yet your leading the guy on running around saying Kelly kissed me. You sound like a moron!

    • Wendy Owen

      Exactly Dana! “I have a boyfriend. I don’t tell anyone I have a boyfriend. I flirt. I kiss and tell.” Yikes!

    • BuckJohnson

      Exactly Dana, Jennice is a hoodrat. From day one she was leading Kelley on and she wasn’t shy about it. When he plants that kiss on her she gives that BS look like she didn’t want it and she starts to say to the others that he grabbed her face to kiss her (you know grabbing, taking when she didn’t want to give). And then she starts playing Kelley next episode drinking with those guys and such, she loves being fought over. If I was his sister I would switch rooms with him and tell Kelley that she’s playing you and she’s trying to get a trophy without trying. So she can say he wanted me but I didn’t want him when in reality she wanted him hard.
      Women like that make me sick.

  • I will say, I was impressed with Kate’s artistic ability to make a phallic towel!!!! That was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

    Great job on the recap, Wendy!!!!!!

    • Wendy Owen

      thx!!! tho, really, have we settled the burning issue of towel v. blanket? I’m still not sure!!

      • nan/4

        Too big for a towel and too little for a blanket. May be we can meet in the middle and say it’s a throw? “THROWGATE.” It does have a ring to it! HA! 😉

        • Wendy Owen

          THROWGATE!!! LOL!!!! That’s it!!!

    • nan/4

      It was a SPACESHIP Doc! LOLOLLLLLL!!!!

      Hi darlin’!

    • Jennymckitty

      I want to to have an online class in towel folding.

  • RonnieIsBack

    That dick blankee was HILARIOUS!!! But Kate lost cool points when she bitched up and lied about it…I would have thrown balls to the wall and said yeah I did it and I hope he burns in hell! in a Samuel L. Jackson kind of way.
    Jenice pissed me off acting all daterapy after the kiss when she had practically been putting her butt in his face for weeks….#teaseUrBoyfriendIsStillGonnaDumpU

    • Wendy Owen

      LOL!!! Hillarious! And Eddie and Kate together? Now THAT put a picture in my head that I can’t get rid of …..”You mussed my hair!” ‘Ow!’ “Not like that — like this!?

  • RonnieIsBack

    Eddie serioulsy needs to get laid..with Kate…I am sure they will shoot icicles but still…

  • RonnieIsBack

    Kate showed the them “tip” alright…

    • Wendy Owen

      LOL!!! Delayed reaction! I finally got it!!! “tip!!”