Below Deck Recap: Charter Guest Soul Mate [Episode 4]

Posted on Sep 3 2014 - 10:23am by Wendy Owen

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Ahoy, Landlubbers! Well, it took the whole first five minutes of the episode to find out that a) Andrew got his full tip b) everyone hates him and c) Captain Lee finally pulls the plug on the tub and lets Andrew go down the drain. The disdain is palpable as they say “Goodbye,” to Andrew.

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But here’s the twist: Of all people, it was Ben that walked him off and said the final goodbye. “Take care, sincerely. You’re a good guy,” and HUGS him! Oy! Just when a man calls another man a “f’ing Muppet,” he turns around and gets all mushy inside. Not to worry about Andrew Phillip Sturby, though – he’s got his “Sammy” so he’ll be fine. “Sammy?” Did he mean chamois cloth? Can’t tell because it looked like a piece of baby blankie. Ah, well, “parting is such sweet sorrow…” and all that other stuff Shakespeare wrote.

Below Deck

Captain Lee, being the moron that he is, decides to let everyone off the boat to blow off steam. Yeah, that’s a good idea. He should know by now that the best thing to do is permanently keep that tub on lock down!  The crew goes off on a Catamaran to get to another beach, and it gives Kelley and Jennice some quality time to discuss really important world issues like Jennice’s boyfriend and Kelley’s girlfriend. Jennice is torn between ripping off Kelley’s shorts and shagging him like a rug, and doing the right thing. Amour, amour!

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Quickest break ever because everyone’s back on the Ohana and cleaning, yet again. Captain Lee informs Ben and Kate about the new guests. From the picture, the primary guest appears pretty sleazy. He’s also bringing aboard more people than there are beds, so of course, Kate decides he’s her soul mate.

Kate and her posse leave the boat to steal flowers from residents’ yards. Of course. Why pay for flowers?

The guests board and everyone notices they look different – kind of like high-rent call girls. The lady guests decide that Kelley is hot of course – I mean, they do have eyes. Before they even leave port, though, the primary guest is already complaining that they haven’t left yet, even though push off time is one o’clock. Soul Mate or In Mate?

Jost Van Dyke Island – don’t ask me – I’m Dutch, but the only thing I can pronounce is my own name – and the way to get there seems to a water slide. It’s takes five hours to get put the dang thing together. One of the guests requests Kelley go down the slide. He radios Captain Lee to relay the request, which should be Captain Lee’s cue to say “No, you’re needed on board,” but he throws him to the she-wolves.

Kate thinks these guests are wonderful but she’ll soon regret that compliment because behind her back, they’re all commenting on her sterling personality which consists of the perm-a-pout. They’ve concluded Kate must hate them. Good going, Kate!

Below Deck

Dinner time and Kat is bitching about how much work it is to serve all these people. Looks like there’s a whole nine or ten people so Jennice is commanded to help out. Meanwhile, Mr. Primary Guest comes down to complain is taking way too long to make dinner. Ben basically says they can go “f” themselves because he’s an artiste.” Though, he does come up with the idea of baking a casserole for tomorrow night’s dinner. Or maybe Hot Pockets. This would solve the two-hour delay in getting dinner on the table and one of the plates arrived with plastic on it. The crew promptly decides that the guest planted it and Ben decides to defend himself. He goes above deck and he points out that the plastic obviously came from the guests’ own bottle of Boone’s Farm.

After dinner, Mr. Primary Guest decides to reiterate his 8:30 PM sharp dinner time. The next morning, Ben gets up at 5 AM to make sure he’s not late for breakfast. While he’s working, it appears that Kelley and Amy are hiding someplace talking about Jennice. They both like her, and they both appear to forget that Kelley has a girlfriend. Whaddup with dat? Meanwhile, back to Ben and since the guests wanted breakfast between 9 and 10:30, they start complaining he’s late for his own breakfast. As waves are crashing the boat, Ben has problems keeping his poached eggs stable. He figures his job in par with an EMT in terms of stress level.

The guests’ engage in Kate bashing while Kate is busting her little butt making a scavenger hunt for them. They request her presence upstairs and tell Kate he’s “bitchy.” So much for soul mates. Amour, amour.

Below Deck

During the interstitial, Eddie Googles one of the guests and figures out she looks like a porn star. Gee, if only he had done that much hard work on vetting Andrew Philip.

During the commercial – yes! It’s Idris Elba! – I’ve gotta wonder if Kate is cancelling her scavenger hunt because if it was me, her tea-stained paper would be flushed down the john.

Back to the show, and YES! Kate cancels her scavenger hunt! She’s pissed! She decides to make them a shot called a “Happy Stew” which I’m sure at this point includes some loogies! While the guests are drinking, Kate goes below to make the perfect blanket fold for Mr. Primary Guest. It’s not in the shape of an anchor. It’s, well, let’s just say it looks like a part of the male anatomy.

Perfect time to end the show and, no, I’m not going to tell you what the preview of next week’s show told me about the towel art! You’ll just have to come back and read it here, mateys!

 

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I'm so fugly, the Dr slapped my mother when I was born. If you love me here - and who wouldn't, frankly? - you can follow my Twitter Time Line @WBVT_98FM and see just how many people I can offend on any particular day. <3

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Awesome recap. Well Capt. Lee let poor Andrew go. Best of luck to him. I disagree with his last statement about how this was the wrong industry to let Andrew learn on the job, however his decision and Andrew got a nice parting tip! I hope Capt Lee at least gave Andrew some contacts he could go to which would be beneficial for helping him learn the industry; one day he might be an effective asset on board a large boat like his. Now the focus will be on the penis shaped towel.

    • Jennymckitty

      If this was real life, I would totally agree. However, I think Andrew cared more about being on TV than about being a deckhand.

      • RonnieIsBack

        Exactly and he is probably auditioning for another part as we type…

        • littleprince1977

          You had that right. He already finished filming “Thr33” a web series where he plays a bi-guy with a girlfriend and boyfriend. https://www.facebook.com/3webseries

          • Are you serious????

          • oopsyIdroppedtheball

            Yup look it up, it’s actually really funny, well written and well acted.

    • Wendy Owen

      “Paul is dead. Miss him, Miss him.” Or you can just tune into the Andrew Philip channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/imAndrewPhilip

  • Dave

    I think there’s something seriously wrong with Kate. I mean, if you’re working in a service industry and you don’t understand that smiling and being friendly is part of the job, then what are you doing there?

    • RonnieIsBack

      Yup..she is a bitter bish

      • Wendy Owen

        Poor Kate. Not much tread left on those tires!

  • TopGear

    I wonder if Capt Lee really knew what was happening before filming began. I know this is “reality” TV, but a mega yacht captain hiring his crew and not checking references? Only on Bravo, otherwise, a putz like Andrew would put both crew and passengers in dangerous situations.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Exactly I don’t buy it..last season they knew everything about all the other’s *cough* talents…
      But then again Andrew did say he lied on his resume..maybe his references lied also…

      • Wendy Owen

        When the phone rings, answer it as “Vandalay Industries!”

        • RonnieIsBack

          Ahhhhhh love Seinfield!!!

  • RonnieIsBack

    Love it love and I love this show..Kate got what she deserved..she was such a hater when the babes with boobs who gave them a great time sailed, but now her “perfect guest” actually hate her and are so stuck on themselves (that hooka that claimed she was soooo hungry knows her boney azz doesn’t eat) and called her bitchy…I still cannot believe she used her balls to make a twig n berry display on the bed of the principle guest….
    Andrew is an idiot and I am glad he is gone..I was so scared he would saw off his own arm trying to clean the toliet…
    Ben is two-faced..I get it he was walking Andrew out bc nobody else would, but something tells me when Andrew sees the playback….he will pull the knife out of his back…
    Kelly and Jennice needs to just bang and get it over with..they have 4 more weeks to go…
    Kat needs to have a drunken meltdown
    Eddie needs a girlfriend.and an enema….he takes himself way too seriously..you are a deck hand on a boat….for the summer…being televised….use your good looks to parlay them into an acting career and be happy..sheeze…

    Glad the Captain kept his shirt on this episode..still having nightmares…

    • Wendy Owen

      Oh my! The round tummy that looks like he swallowed a watermelon! Great recap of the recap!!

    • Bwahahahaha! Love you Ronnie!

      • RonnieIsBack

        and I loves ya back!

  • RonnieIsBack

    So here is what Andrew has been up to: Fired again…

    Bravotv.com: What have you been up to since working on the Ohana?
    AS: Since the Ohana, I did day work at Derecktor shipping yards here in Florida and eventually found my way to another deckhand position, on a 116′ 0″ yacht. The captain on that boat, unfortunately, had different goals from the owner who hired me to be trained. This captain refused to “teach” me what I had left to learn about docking the boat, leaving the dock, operating the anchor, and other general job requirements. He nagged the owner that he deserved a seasoned deckhand and caused my dismissal. In need of immediate work, I found an opening as a server/bartender. The job went well and I have since become a certified bartender through a school.

    • Wendy Owen

      But, but, what about all his fans in the Philippines breathlessly awaiting his latest single?

  • twifan2

    WoW! Andrew walked the plank! 🙂
    Captain Lee needs to be put on Admin. Staff at Bravo! Get rid of ‘dead weight’! 😀

    Thanks for an exciting & funny recap, Wendy! 🙂

    • Wendy Owen

      Thx!! Yeah, Capt’n Lee would certainly clean those decks! 🙂

  • Great recap Wendy! Love the show and your recaps are spot on!

    The guy that called Kate a bitch was out of line. If a male stew was waiting on him and his guests I guarantee he would have never said a word about smiling.The fact that he did say something speaks more about the people HE was with then about Kate.If I was on a luxury yacht with my friends the last thing I would worry about was if everyone was smiling.,I would hope I would be too busy laughing with my friends and enjoying the great food and experience.If I needed a smile I would ask my mom to instagram one for me.There are many people who cross the line with servers.I would never go into a bank or in a doctors office and tell them they need to smile.I just want good service. NEVER screw with the hands that are feeding you.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Agreed. She is a bit much but he was a dick…a small peen at that.
      All that chit about having dinner “plated” at 8:30…
      If I were Ben I would have spelled out celery “Plate This”

      • oopsyIdroppedtheball

        Given Ben’s track record of being late, he can’t really cry too loud when they give up and assume he’ll be late. It’s his job to be on time,it’s their job to pay him to do what they want him to do.

    • Wendy Owen

      Thx Doc! Those “guests” were definitely low budget. Something wrong with them! 🙂

      • Wendy Owen

        You think these guests are getting a free ride and only have to pay the tip? Just wonderin’…..

  • bee itch

    While I appreciate the author’s attempt to do a good, witty, recap. May I suggest you get someone to proof read your work before you post.