Tonight Bravo chose to open “Game of Crowns” with a scene of Lori-Ann Marchese and her sleazy husband. Unfortunately, this meant that I dozed off and didn’t perk back up until we were gifted with a scene featuring Leha Guilmette having boxing lessons.
Now, if you’ve been following my recaps, you know I’ve been riding pretty hard for Leha up until now. I still think she’s in the right, but more and more I think she’s taken the feud with Lynne Diamante and blown it completely out of proportion.
Speaking of being overdramatic, over at Lynne’s house, her blood pressure is still being monitored by her husband. Given so much side-eye at this. He’s worried that if she’s stressed, her blood pressure is going to go up. Um, isn’t that how it works for everyone? Lynne fusses that Leha getting a restraining order on her has put her in medical danger. This woman is doing the most. To safeguard against her blood pressure, Lynne has decided not to participate in the dress rehearsal for the upcoming Legends competition, but of course, health be damned, she’ll be competing in the actual competition.
At the Foxwood, the location for the Legends ball, Vanassa Sebastian arrives for a little choreography lesson. During the lesson, Susanna Paliotta stops by. Her craziness is still going as she continues her tirade from last week about the Foxwood being on sovereign land, which is yet another example of unfair pageant politics. She’s the worst you guys, the worst. I think I need my blood pressure checked.
Shelley Carbone, the queen of the show and my absolute favorite, enters looking as fabulous as ever. Lori-Ann is with her, but meh. The ladies practice some routines and then get a break. A few of the ladies find it odd that neither Leha nor Lynne have shown up for the rehearsal. Susanna takes this as her opportunity to fill in Shelley just how distraught Lynne is. Thankfully I don’t have to roll my eyes, because Shelley is already one step ahead of me as she comments on just how ridiculous the situation has become.
Susanna doesn’t want to even come if Lynne doesn’t show up. Bye! Vanassa walks over and asks how everyone is doing. Susanna takes this as in insult, because, well, because it’s Susanna. Not even Vanassa knows what’s going on so she invites them to have a little snack.
Upstairs in Vanassa’s suite, the ladies arrive to what’s more of a little get together than just a small snack. Shelley states she’ll practice the routine later tonight. Vanassa throws shade in her interview, claiming she’s going to be the one to take home the title. Lori-Ann is in the background doing whatever it she does.
Susanna makes a straight dash over to Lynne’s house. They hug and their voices go higher and higher in pitch the longer they’re with one another. Being the super BFF that Susanna is, she helps catch Lynne up with the routine. Lynne tells us that she’s hell-bent on going to the competition and laughs at the idea of being arrested. Can we all just take a moment and savor that mental image?
Over at Vanassa’s suite, Leha and her husband arrive. When Vanassa asks where they’ve been, Leha says that they’ve been hiding out. Leha doesn’t feel comfortable and reveals to the ladies that she won’t be in fact competing in the pageant. I feel sad for Leha that she feels this is her only option, but maybe it’s for the best.
Skipping over the small Lori-Ann scene, Shelley is heading for the competition. Have I mentioned I really hope that she wins? She is hands-down the only decent person on this show.
Susanna picks up Lynne, naturally only after Lynne was first cleared by her doctors that is. Talking with one another, Susanna tells Lynne she doesn’t think that Leha is going to participate in the competition. This leads to Lynne giving an interview where she claims that Leha has literally dragged her through hell. I’m pretty sure she meant figuratively, but hey, what do I know?
It’s the day of the Legends competition! All the ladies are scurrying and putting on their most worthy pageant faces. Everyone minus Shelley has a team of people working on them, which of course causes her to astutely observe that they’re all nuts. Take that Lynnentourage.
While they get ready for the competition, Susanna feels the need to bring up that Leha might be watching from the audience. This leads directly into another interview with Lynne pouting about how difficult it’s going to be competing with a restraining order. Here’s the deal, I don’t care about the restraining order and I wish they’d stop talking about it.
Lori-Ann gets told by some pageant people that it’d be best if she wore her Mrs. Connecticut sash instead of her fitness one, because, well, it’s not a fitness pageant. She’s boringly upset by this. Why is she on this show? Why does she compete in these pageants if she obviously hates them so much?
Time for the interviews. Vanassa is first up. Her answer is less than stellar. Lynne’s interview is just a mess. First price for worst interview goes to, of course, Susanna. The fact that she has a pilot’s license should cause you all to take a pause. Shelley’s interview is as flawless as you’d expect. This woman is Mrs. America, after all. Lori-Ann, doesn’t do poorly, but manages to make a story about going to Italy boring.
Now for the world’s most awkward opening number at a pageant. The dance routine alone, not to mention the singers, caused me to cringe. During their introductions, Lynne sees Leha in the audience and naturally assumes that she is trying to destroy her life. Yes, Lynne, it’s all part of her evil, master-plan. When it comes time for the swimsuit completion, all the ladies, and I really do mean all the ladies, look stunning! I died when Lynne’s hobbies were revealed to include motivational speaking.
It was adorable to see Shelley’s mom escort her during the evening gown competition. Afterwards, it’s time for the semi-finalists to be revealed. Lori-Ann, Susanna, Shelley, Vanassa, and Lynne all make the cut. Things are getting tense!
The ladies undergo yet another interview. Everyone gets one question while on stage. None of the ladies suffer any major blunders. Leha and her husband, Nick do enjoy themselves as they mock Lynne during her question.
Top 5, Lori-Ann and Shelley are announced. There’s only one place left. Who gets it? Tune in next for the season finale to find out! Don’t forget to leave your comments below!