Preachers of LA Recap: “Judge Not” [Episode 1]

Posted on Aug 21 2014 - 12:09pm by Wendy Owen

tumblr_static_preachers_temp_logo-tumblr

Brothers and Sisters, we gather here to discuss the curious goings on of a group of men of faith who seem to make enough money to live in McMansions. Everyone is a “Minister” or “Bishop” so until I can figure out what that means, I’m just gonna be real informal here.  Can I get an “Amen?”

Preachers of LA

The show opens with Dietrick. As you may remember, his baby mama, Dominique, and him finally got married before number two was born. Now, I’m no Alistair Begg, but I kinda, sorta, thought there was a commandment against adultery, but hey, what do I know? Now Dietrick is having all kinds of drama, what with his Mama Joyce not liking his baby Mama, and his baby Mama’s, Mama Faye not liking his Mama. Got it? Good. The new baby arrives and Dietrick is all kinds of happy, singing and praising the baby, Denver. Yes, he named the baby after a city that has a constant problem with smog.

Preachers of LA

Next thing you know, it’s two months later. Noel, who still has a “friend” named Loretta – going on 16 or 17 years now – discusses how they should answer the eternal question: When is Noel gonna make an honest woman of Loretta? Loretta seems resigned for now to be living in sin, and will face the ladies at the “Sip and See” – baby mama Dominique’s new spin on a baby shower.  Yeah. I never heard of that either. Seems to be post-birth baby shower where people drink and try to see the baby, depending upon how much they drink.

But back to Dietrick and we now find out his Mama Joyce is fine with everything that’s going down and promises there’ll be no drama at the “Sip and See.” PTL!

Preachers of LA

Jay and Christy discuss the thorny problem of Jay having stepped in to marry Dietrick even though he didn’t know that his baby mama was pregnant when he married them. Which  kinda means he was marrying two people who were breaking that commandment thing I wrote about earlier.  Like a good reality wife, Christy says he’s just got to confront Dietrick with it, even though it happened months ago.

Preachers of LA

We catch up with Ron and his wife, LaVette, the couple from Compton who also own a McMansion, along with some real nice rides. Discussing the all-consuming “Sip and See,” LaVette promises she can handle herself with Noel’s kept woman Loretta.

Preachers of LA

Wayne just got back from Israel and his wife Myesha, of course, brings up the “Sip and See.” But more importantly, when Wayne wants to know if she wants another baby, she tells him they can practice but “not pull the trigger.”

Preachers of LA

Clarence and Priscilla have quiet moment complete with tea and working out the reasoning why he can’t possibly attend Noel’s command performance at his house for a sit down. Clarence is one smart man. Plus, his McMansion has a really cool pool.

Preachers of LA

At Noel’s house everyone shows but Clarence, whom they figure they scared off with their fighting last season. Seems Noel called the meeting to come up with some kind of plan for a crusade. Ron  pulls out his gun and puts on the table, just keepin’ it real, and wants a pimps and hos theme since he likes to work with The Crips. As in the gang. Which leads to a discussion of Noel’s ho, Loretta, whom Noel emphatically says will be involved.  When Ron brings up the fact that it might not be appropriate, Dietrick jumps in to defend Noel, seeing as how he’s broken the same commandment and has decided that they’re all being judgmental.

Preachers of LA

After that little fracas, Jay pulls Dietrick aside to discuss why he didn’t give him the word on his baby mama being pregnant when he married him, which gets Dietrick all kinds of worked up. He interrogates Jay on whether or not he slept with Christy before they were married.

Preachers of LA

When Jay says, “yes,” Dietrick goes “boom!” and walks away as if he’s won the whole argument. But, it seems Jay wasn’t “saved” back then, so he kinda wasn’t following the book, and it’s a freebie. “Boom” that!

Preachers of LA

The next morning Christy asks Jay how everything went with Dietrick. As Jay puts it, after Ron flashed his gun, he went to Dietrick with love and tried to ask about the wedding but all he got was Dietrick telling him he’s judgmental. Christy reminds him they are not judgmental, and Jay says it was ready to go to a higher lever – which I figured meant fisticuffs – because he’s never had any preacher talk to him that way. Ah, but there’s the rub – are any of these guys real preachers? Of course, Christy brings it back to the real issue – the “Sip and See” and how she’s gonna handle having to see Dietrick’s baby mama –I mean wife, now, officially.

Preachers of LA

Cut to a brief segment where the Dietrick and Dominique’s moms get together and decide they’re “grandmas, not gangsters!” Hallelujah! Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition!

Back at Noel’s and his, um, well, girlfriend or whatever’s house, Noel has to make sure he tells Loretta that Ron doesn’t want her involved in any crusade. Putting aside the ho part, Loretta feels Ron is sexist to think she can’t be at the crusade and handle things just as well as any man, and Noel figures Ron is just trying to create drama. Neither one seems to think it’s the livin’ in sin part that bothers Ron.

Preachers of LA

There’s a brief teaser where Dietrick feels the needs to tell us he’s had no sex since the baby came and it’s doctor’s orders, not just Dominique wanting his sorry ass off her for a while. After all, she did have a C-section, right?

The “Sip and See” is finally here! I can’t wait to see what kind of drinks we get to sip! Myesha arrives first and can’t wait to get to know this sweet little baby. Then LaVette shows up, and is just happy they’re finally married for crying out loud. Since LaVette is the only woman without a child, Dominique offhandedly says LaVette could be the Godmother. Does that count? Is it in writing? Anyway, something tells me she shouldn’t be offering up such a position just yet.

Preachers of LA

Before Christy shows up, Dominique makes sure everyone knows Jay asked about not knowing why they were pregnant before he married him. LaVette enters the land mine strewn field of agreeing with Jay and how Ron would feel the same. Take cover, girlfriend! When Loretta arrives, she immediately brings up the fact that Ron objected to Loretta being involved because they should be married. Poor LaVette tries to explain how perhaps, it’s just a tad seedy that Loretta and Noel still aren’t married and are living in sin, being Christian leaders and all. Then, Dominque, knowing all about being the #1 ho, jumps in to defend Loretta. I told her to hold off on that Godmother thing, didn’t I?

Preachers of LA

Great time for a commercial and since it’s Idris Elba in “No Good Deed” and I’m more than happy to watch it all. Idris is the man!

Back from commercial, Loretta is still jumping on LaVette. She tells her that only if God tells her it’s wrong, it’s all right.  (I’m not sure where Loretta earned her theology degree but I’m beginning to suspect it involved the internet in some fashion.) And that’s how they left us! Hangin’ at the “Sip and See.” 

Preachers of LA

Now, I don’t want to be a stickler for details, but I didn’t see no Sippin’ – just some gums flappin’ – so when do we get to drink at this “ho” down? Next week?

 

“Like” us on Facebook  “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram

About the Author

I'm so fugly, the Dr slapped my mother when I was born. If you love me here - and who wouldn't, frankly? - you can follow my Twitter Time Line @WBVT_98FM and see just how many people I can offend on any particular day. <3

  • Love this show, thanks for a great recap Wendy. Pastor Jay was right. I like Dietrick but dislike the way he acts when told the gospel truth about something. Jay is owed an apology. All the pastors are still pimping from the pulpit. Amen to that!

    • Wendy Owen

      Totally, Doc! I mean, that’s just shady not tellin’ the man the baby mama is knocked up again!

      • But weren’t they married already before married them in the big ceremony?

        • Wendy Owen

          Well, married to whom? 😉 He was married to Damita Haddon and it took him a looong time to update his facebook page [https://www.facebook.com/DeitrickHaddon] so I’m thinkin’ he was married but not to Dominique when they had the first baby.

          • Wendy Owen

            Tho, word is they “quietly” divorced in 2011? I’m wondering how true that is since Damita is also a gospel singer and wouldn’t want anything to look outta place?

          • Wendy Owen

            Destin was born in 2011, not that i’m talkin’ outta school or nuthin’…just sayin’….

          • Last season, Dietrick and Dominique got married in a small impromptu ceremony with no guest before the had the big ceremony with pastor Jay.

          • Wendy Owen

            ahhh, i see….so I guess “Pastor” Jay can’t really be that upset seeing as how he’s a “Pastor” and they were already married legally! His officiating was just for show!

          • Yeah but that backyard ceremony was only a few weeks before the formal one, so I am thinking she was already pregnant then. Notice how they do not dispute the fact that she was already pregnant when they got married. As argumentative as Deitrick is, you know he would have pushed back with that if he could.

          • Hi MarvyMDS! Thanks for dropping some knowledge. I’m enjoying your comments.

            True indeed. I was wondering why he didn’t say anything. But if they were indeed married by the time Jay performed the ceremony wouldn’t that trump Jay’s claims anyway? It’s a little confusing to me.

            Happy Friday! 🙂

          • Happy Friday! Yes, you do have a point about that, but did Pastor Jay even know about that secret ceremony? Oh and I hollered when he basically told his wife that Deitrick was about to catch those hands for talking to him all reckless. lol

          • RonnieIsBack

            Yup…..he shollllllle wuz…….

    • RonnieIsBack

      He was like that in the D. you couldn’t tell his azz nothing…I cannot divulge…but his first wife is somebody thisclose close to me and the fam….shhhhhhhh. so I know allllllllllll the tea…chile…..he is a mess and Dominique is a heaux…just saying…

      • Wendy Owen

        Man-O-Manischewitz! Now I’m dyiiinnnn to know!!!!

        • LOLOLOL! 🙂

          Wendy, you are a riot!

      • Oh Snap! You could email me with the tea. You know I wanna know all the dirt. I’m sorry but Dietrick has a serious gay vibe going on. And Dominique seems like a gold digging opportunist.

        • RonnieIsBack

          I will send you an email hunty LOLOLOL

        • Um Dr. Seuss, you are speaking what the rest of us have been thinking. Deitrick has some very effeminate mannerisms, and I remember once when they were planning the wedding they were sitting at this cafe and he crossed his legs and did this gesture with his hand that was very suspect. Ole girl better be careful.

          • Girl yes!!!!!! There’s something about the way he crosses his legs and his choice of clothing is suspect too.

  • RealitytvJunkie

    Great recap, Wendy. Dietrick Hadden is so disappointing on this show. Always combative and won’t listen to wise counsel. Unlike most, my favorites are Pastor Jay and Bishop Gibson.

    • Wendy Owen

      Yes, Pastor Jay seems to have his head on straight. And thanks so much for reading this! 🙂

  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap..I laughed so hard I almost peed…
    I cannot stand that I’m so above all of them Clarence.
    Lorretta and Noel are like Phuck it…
    Poor Christy and Jay.

    • Wendy Owen

      I’m still tryin’ to figure out wtf a “Sip and See” is other than ranking each other out! Who’s seein’ and what’s she sippin’???

      • RonnieIsBack

        It’s bullchit..Fakedra had it on Atlanta..it is when you come see the baby and sip tea. Just another way to show off…
        Up north we do not have them at all…but I am sure it’s coming…

  • RonnieIsBack

    Glad Lorretta has a new wig…

    • Wendy Owen

      It’s a wig??? Thx!!! Didn’t know that!! You’d think from watching Tardy Kim I could spot ’em but I still can’t! 🙂

  • Wendy Owen

    just wonderin’……

  • Wendy Owen

    Here’s where I need help, my peeps. Anyone can be a “Pastor” – no theology degree needed as in “Pastor” Dietrick? Or “Pastor” Jay? Whereas “Bishop” Noel has some “credentials” from Aenon Bible College and a “doctorate” from the International Circle of Faith — besides being related to Grace Jones?

  • Wendy Owen

    Then there’s “Bishop” Clarence who told his ex-wife that God told him to marry someone else, and I’m assuming that’s the one he’s with now? “Tammera McClendon Continues Her Ministry After Stressful Divorce http://shar.es/1nU19K via @charismamag”

  • Hahahaha! Wendy I love your Idris Elba references. You’re so funny!!!!

    • Wendy Owen

      Aww, man, they’re killin’ me with that commercial! He’s too cute to be playing someone so scary!!!

      • Wendy Owen

        Here he is on Graham Norton – but that fat chick from HBO who thinks she’s discovered comedy is on the show, too, so you have to suffer through that a bit…

  • Wendy Owen

    My head’s spinnin’ with this show! 🙂

  • RealitytvJunkie

    This show is nothing more than mocking God. They are Living like the devil and expecting to make heaven. They have a form of Godliness but are denying the faith thereof, beware God is not mocked. These people along with these other so called “Reverands” in name only, such as Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Jeremiah Wright and I”ll throw in Joel Osteen ( the prosperity/ dreamer) are being deceivers of the faith, (wolves in sheeps clothing). Be careful what you listen to, not everyone that calls themselves Reverands, Pastors or Evangelists are of God.

    • Wendy Owen

      Well, I kinda, sorta got the idea they aint no Billy Graham…

  • TopGear

    The whole show is interesting the men are entertaining. Church is a tax exempt business that benefit preachers.

    • Wendy Owen

      What I really want is to watch this show in a google+ hangout with a real pastor and see his head spin! 🙂

      • TopGear

        Are there any “real” pastors out there?

  • This is a great recap. I was looking forward to the new season, but they carry on like this for much longer then I am going to have to stop watching. Deitrick is too immature and confrontational every time someone calls him on his nonsense, but Loretta is even worse. If you are not a wife, don’t want to be a wife and do not like how the wives treat you – why not just stay away from them? Real simple. I am surprised that one of the mothers didn’t kick her out of the sip and see for carrying on like that. Mama Faye is normally very no nonsense.

    • Wendy Owen

      I knooooww! She’s in such denial as to why people have a problem with her stepping into the wife role when she’s just not a wife. Period.

  • Wendy Owen

    Wait a minute! Are those PEPPERIDGE FARM cookies on that cocktail table??

  • CeCe Says Ugonlearntaday

    Geesh for a bunch of so called Christians and people who walk in the word they sure are some judgmental folks. This is what deters people from going to church. Holyrollers think they holier than thou and obviously even better then their fellow holyrollers….