Game of Crowns Recap: Tight And Right [Episode 7]

Posted on Aug 18 2014 - 1:43am by Jamie V

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This week of “Game of Crowns” opens up with Susanna Pailotta and Lynne Diamante being crowned Mrs. Rhode Island and Mrs. Massachusetts in what appears to be the back end of a closed-down Ponderosa. Lynne admits that she did have to mail in a fee to be crowned and Susanna says that along with the fee, her Facebook was also combed over to check that she wasn’t a psycho. Clearly both managed to sneak by undetected. They’re crowned by the city mayor, Lynne gives a rambling speech, and then both ladies cut their celebratory cake. In a disturbing, fetish-like moment, they feed each other pieces of cake. Gross. I have a feeling not even Cinemax would be interested. 

Shelley Carbone arrives at Vanassa Sebastian’s house. Vanassa is trying to lose weight as the Legends of the Crown competition is coming up. It’s being held at her husband’s resort, the Foxwood. She intends on winning. Leha Guilmette comes over too and the three enjoy some organic tea.

Finally, Leha is ready to open up to the other ladies about Lynne’s supposed hiring of a private investigator. Leha also reveals that Lynne wanted to file harassment charges against her and her husband. Vanassa and Shelley are visibly shocked by this information. Directly after this, Vanassa once again confirms that she’s not so good at the whole “showing compassion to others” part as she interrupts Leha so that she can have a parfait. Stay classy, Vanassa. Leha drops another bombshell and tells them she’s filed a restraining order against Lynne. I mean, a little overkill, right? 

Cut to the most hilarious scene of the night. I apologize to any Lynne fans out there. I’m not sure those are real. Lynne has received the restraining order and she’s not taking it well. Her husband is taking her blood pressure while she wails, and new BFF Susanna is close at hand. She sobs that she can’t believe someone would try to utterly destroy her reputation. Which is ironic, since that is exactly what she’s done to Leha and her husband. The whole scene is just too much. She goes on to speculate that the restraining order was just so Leha wouldn’t have to ever compete against her again. Susanna, with zero self-awareness, tries to comfort her by saying everyone knows the type of person Lynne is. Um yep, I think that’s the problem. 

Shelley, our reigning and sole voice of reason, thinks everything is tad bit overboard. None of it makes sense to her. Glad I’m not the only one. Leha goes on to explain the restraining order while Vanassa tries to compare their situation to a Scorsese movie. Not even close, Vanassa.

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Lynne is still crying. She claims that she never told anyone that Leha’s husband was abusive. Did she forget the past few episodes were recorded? Susanna, in full crazy, says that Lynne was the only one defending Leha. What? Where does any of this come from? Both are talking so high that at one point I was afraid my ears had started bleeding. 

Leha says that she WILL be at the Legends competition. It’s her right. Vanassa co-signs this opinion, saying she has to be there. Leha wants to, she’s just worried what she’ll have to do if Lynne shows up. Then, taking things in a new direction, Leha asks Shelley if she’ll compete in the competition too. Shelley, however, is a bit apprehensive about entering the competition. 

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Back to Lynne’s. She has a TEAM of lawyers and litigators working on overturning the restraining order day and night. I wonder if they’re apart of the Lynnentourage too. Susanna, doesn’t feel that Leha was actually behind any of it, but instead puts the blame on Nick, Leha’s husband. Proving everything I’ve said about Susanna, she tries to make Nick into an acronym. Are you ready for it? Here it is:  Narcissistic Idiot That Needs To Calm-down. So close, Susanna, so close. 

Returning to the world of the sane, Shelley opens up to her mother about the newest competition. Being Mrs. America, she’s really nervous she’s going to lose. Making my heart ache for her, Shelley reveals that her mother pushed her into the Mrs. Connecticut competition after having a miscarriage. Shelley says the pageant healed her. I love this side of the show and these moment are far too rare. Her mother, being adorable, urges her to really think about entering the competition. 

A Lori-Ann Marchese scene! I honestly forget about her. She and her husband are doing something in their house. You know what? I don’t care and I’m betting neither do you. 

Vanassa and family are heading for her once a year checkup. It’s been nearly three years since she was diagnosed with cancer. Again, another humanizing scene that I fear this show hasn’t been given enough of. Vanassa is nervous. She never knows what to expect and is rightfully concerned. At the end of it all, Vanassa gets a clean bill of a health. 

Shelley and Lori-Ann arrive for a photo-shoot. Lori-Ann is going to be on the cover of a fitness magazine. It’s Lori-Ann’s 7th cover in case you were trying to keep count. I have permanent side-eye when this woman is on screen. She’s glad that Shelley is checking out “her world” of fitness. During the photo-shoot, Shelley gets a little confidence boast and decides she’s going to enter the Legends competition. 

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Vanassa and Leha get some Botox. According to Vanassa, the Botox is going to help Leha’s face not look so harsh. What a true friend! She assures Leha they’re getting the best of the best. Leha is starting to take things too far with this Lynne fiasco. She’s talking about hired security and them being on stage, and oh my God, just stop it! Vanassa’s not having that at her husband’s business and demands Lynne just not come. 

Susanna and her daughter, Victoria, head to Anthony Palmeri’s store. She tells her daughter the latest drama. Victoria, to me, is too caught up in her mother’s drama. Susanna proves how ignorant she, again, by showing she knows nothing about Native American tribal law and Federal Law. She keeps insisting that Vanassa could make up anything she wants to at Foxwood, and because it’s sovereign land, she would get arrested. No, no, and um, no. 

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While they shop for dresses, Susanna gets a message from Lynne telling her about the security. Susanna has had it! It’s just not classy and apparently she is. She is Mrs. Rhode Island after all. Being her charming self, she states with her childish grin that she could give a few people a reason to get a restraining order. 

In the last scene of the night, Lynne’s husband is, yet again, taking her blood pressure. This whole ordeal has aggravated a pre-existing heart condition or so she claims. Her health is at risk! So don’t do the pageant? Nope, not Lynne, she isn’t going to back-down!

Ugh, these ladies were turned up this week and just too much. Let me know what you thought! Until next time!

Jamie V

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About the Author

An English major who is a self-proclaimed nerd as well as a wine enthusiast. Loves dogs, books, any chance to take a nap, and a lover of TV, with special regards to almost everything on Bravo. Follow me on *Twitter*

  • TartLemon

    Really like this show, but I miss it on Sunday night. I guess because of the low ratings is why it’s not repeated throughout the week. Conundrum, because if they repeated it more often, the show would probably get a bigger following.

    I know he’s not a favorite, but I really miss Andy Cohen’s programming at Bravo. When he was doing it, even the HW shows were off the charts, but more cohesive editing and casting. Seems like everything has gone totally amok.

  • Lorn

    This re-cap is right on point! I agree with all your opinions and feel both parties in the Leah/ Lynne debacle are lying. I have a hard time believing Lynne would go out of her way to hire a PI to find out dirt on Leah and her husband–for what? I’m not saying it is totally impossible but I have a hard time believing it. Leah is taking this ish too far. And the restraining order she wrote, thinking Lynne would put something in her drink etc.–I nearly passed out laughing. Leah’s an emotionally abused woman who can’t see anything from behind her husbands eyes. I agree with Lynne when she said–“I wonder what he does to you in private”; I do.

    Susanna, really needs to calm down and stop inhaling so many sparkles from her hideous dresses. Her behavior isn’t cute or classy. I know she is defending her friend but you don’t really know Lynne like that and it makes you look thuggish when you try to act gangster.

    Lori-Ann needs to go! Her whole story-line is a snooze fest and she thinks she’s hotter than she is. (side-note: is her husband related to the Marchese’s from Jersey?)

    I’ve tried to be sympathetic to Vanessa due to her plight with cancer but its really hard–she’s vapid, insecure, selfish, and narcissistic. I understand sickness can change you but something tells me this is who she has always been. I don’t think she’s a friend to anyone and is latching on to Leah because she hates Lynne. Also Vanessa, quit interrupting your guests when they ‘re speaking, especially about serious events; its rude.

    As for Betty Crocker aka Shelley–she’s pretty boring too. She’s nice but boring. I can only take so much of a woman who is a walking stereotype for the fifties. It seems like she is always caught in the middle as the voice of reason but doesn’t really have an opinion either way.

    All in all this was an ‘okay’ episode. I do look forward to seeing more between Leah, Lynne, and Leah’s psychopathic husband. I wonder if he was twirling a butter knife when Leah wrote that lame restraining order?

    • ^This

      BOOM!!!!!!

    • distressed

      Not stalking you on this thread, but as far as the “psychopathic husband” role being played by a possibly psychopathic law enforcement officer, did you see the news report that he allegedly bit and tore the ear of Vanassa’s husband at the premier party last month? It was on TMZ and many viewers already know this, but Jeez Louise, this is some sorry crew.

      “Woonsocket officer accused of biting husband of wife’s rival”
      http://www.turnto10.com/story/26014861/woonsocket-officer-accused-of-biting-husband-of-wifes-rival

      • Lorn

        LOL–I don’t think you’re stalking me at all. I appreciate the feed-back. I think I read it on here first. He needs to be locked up and I don’t put anything past him abusing Leah. He’s flipping crazy!

  • TopGear

    I just CAN’T WAIT until Leha actually finds out the entire, whole truth of how this all REALLY played out….with Vanessa @THE HELM OF THE SH*T STIRRING SHIP, etc….. not to mention that the death threat WAS uttered, they all DID hear it (however much their amnesiac brains claim they didn’t.. MY GOD, they talked about it for HOURS after the pageant!) annnnd, funny enough, that it was LEHA’S DAD (or dad-in-law, not entirely sure) who’d said it in the first place.

    • Lorn

      Really? I don’t remember hearing a death threat but it doesn’t surprise me. Honestly, I think Leah deep down knows the truth but is too scared to say anything. I think her husband made up the PI crap too.

      • distressed

        I just recently started watching. The first episode I could look at was the second show. I watched the pageant and there was “a” threat in those scenes, although implied. If I remember correctly, the father or father-in-law of Leha said something like, “you like that your husband is alive?” to one of the ladies. Bravo captioned it on the screen. In the show, the guy appears to be sitting behind Suzanne and then leans in and says this over her shoulder. Extremely creepy, possibly criminal.

        So someone seems to have threatened someone. However, Lynne is talking about a separate event, threat, that occurred off camera. On this second threat it seems the ladies are somewhat split between believing Lynne over Leha’s husband.

    • Nakela Prude

      I remember hearing the father in law threaten her husband. He said it clearly, and Suzanna then said something about not knowing her husband, etc… Vanessa irks the hell out of me, she’s so self – centered that it is disgusting! !! But I read that Leah and Vanessa husband got into an alteration at the premier of the show. . Hmm but Leah is worried about reputation, GTFOH

  • Great recap Jamie!

    So a “crowning” is done with a crowd of 20 at the Golden Corral??? What a joke!! It’s a pathetic waste of time. These women should take their money and use their time for a worthy cause. What morons!

  • Sara

    I really thought Suzanna (sp) was smarter than to pal around with someone so fake. It seems that Vanessa & Shelly seem to be trying to be nice to Leah after insinuating she was a 40 footer. Leah’s husband, the cop, he seems a bit aggressive and it’s sad things have taken such a nasty turn because of that. However, no drama equals no show so on with the show lol.

  • Sue

    Omg…where do I start on this crazy group. Putting a restraining order on someone that you got second hand info and “maybe” did something. What Judge signed this Order of Protection? What kills me is the next scene. The Eye Surgeon Guilio acting like an ER Doc to his wife while Suzanna pets her telling her it’s going to be okay. Was Lynn even crying for real? I can’t even take her serious at her age with blue streaks in her hair. Lololol…ROTFL. OMG!, if I didn’t know this was a reality show, I would of thought I was watching the newest Soap Opera. It’s just too much. My sides are killing me from laughter.

    • Lorn

      Shh.. she’s a Lebanese smurf.

  • Kathy

    Who won the Legends beauty contest?