Game of Crowns Recap: And The Oscar Goes To… [Episode 6]

Posted on Aug 11 2014 - 3:10am by Jamie V

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On this week’s episode of “Game of Crowns,” we find Shelley Carbone still fleeing for her sanity. Smart move. Susanna Pailotta and Lori-Ann Marchese find her upset. Lynne Diamante is working overtime to make it seem that the gala event of the season has been ruined! Shelley tells Lynne to stop it with the guilt-trip. Lynne starts crying, her head is moving so fast she that she looks like a bobble-head. She says she can’t STAND to look at her old wedding photos. 

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Vanassa Sebastian, like the rest of us, don’t believe this act for a second. Don’t hand out that Oscar just yet. She masterfully tries to make it about her, saying that it’s not Lynne or Shelley who should be feeling hurt, it’s her! She tells Shelley to go ahead and be a part of Lynne’s wedding, and then instantly puts Lori-Ann on blast. 

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That’s not flying with Lori-Ann. She’s tired of being lectured on how she should or shouldn’t act. Don’t they know she is a grown woman? Vanassa and Lynne go at it again. Both are trying to one-up the other in terms of who has suffered more from cancer. Really ladies? We see Lori-Ann attempting to make a run for it. Susanna and Vanassa head outside to stop her. Vanassa keeps making things worst. She wants Lori-Ann to understand that she’s really hurt. Then, and I swear to God that this is true, there is a group hug between Lori-Ann, Susanna, and Vanassa. I feel so uncomfortable watching this. Vanassa doesn’t waste time telling the ladies how important her walk is. Susanna smartly comment that charities are not meant to gather sympathy. I’m just concerned that they left Shelley alone with Lynne

Shelley’s crying. She’s legitimately upset, telling Vanassa she loves her. I feel for Shelley. Time and time again, she’s proven to be one of the few fixtures of decency on an otherwise toxic show. How does Vanassa receive this message? Well, she doesn’t. She’s too busy looking at her phone 

Dialing down the crazy a bit, we see Leha Guilmette spending some quality time with her daughter riding ponies. This scene was much needed. She reveals, however, that she’s not over Lynne hiring someone to dig up dirt on her family. She vows that Lynne isn’t going to get away with it. 

Another cute scene. Shelley’s baking muffins with her adorable family. There’s the standard chaos that all families have. Vanassa calls her. I’m already cringing. Vanassa apologizes. I’m shocked. She wants Shelley to be at her walk so badly that she’s changed the time of her speech. That’s a little too convenient if you ask me. 

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Lynne is putting on her crown. Why? I have no idea. I have a feeling this is a typical ritual. Her husband brings their wedding book. You know, the book containing the wedding pictures that she just CAN’T stand to look at anymore? Yep, that book. They climb into bed, I gag a little bit, and they start reminiscing about the past. As soon as the words “my first wedding to my husband,” come flying out of her mouth, I’ve checked out. 

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Poor Shelley. She’s up at 4:30 am. Sorry to all my friends out there, but nope. You put me through that and I’m about to go find a new groups of friends. Bye! Shelley reminds us she can do it all, after all she is Mrs. America. I like Shelley

At the walk. Vanassa gives her speech. Honesty time. As someone whose mother survived breast cancer, I completely agree with Vanassa that all cancer survivors wear an invisible crown. During the walk, Vanassa reveals that she hasn’t heard from Leha. 

Susanna arrives at Lynne’s. Her daughter is one of Lynne’s flower girls and Susanna is a bridesmaid. Back at the walk, Vanassa thanks Shelley for coming. Shelley has to get to the wedding. Vanassa is so over the wedding. You and me both, Vanassa. In the most observant question of the night, Vanassa asks “who gets married fifteen times?” In my opinion, someone very insecure in their marriage, that’s who. 

My eyes have never rolled so far back into my head than when Lynne mentioned that she has a Lynnetourage of people to help get her ready for her wedding. Yes, you read that correctly, a Lynnetourage. Where the hell did Bravo find this woman? Then, in a moment that truly made me want to throw something at the TV, Lynne and Susanna teach Isabella how to hate, but making a big deal out of the name “Vanassa,” saying that it’s a swear-word. Gross, just gross ladies. 

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Vanassa and her family make it to the finish line, and surprise! Leha is there waiting for them. A genuine moment. Hey, Bravo, put more of this on!

Time for the wedding, or in Lynne’s case, time for number fifteen! I know everyone’s crying, but I don’t care. This is just ridiculous. The guests arrive, there are gargoyles, and weird silver tree people. I don’t get it. During the ceremony, none of the guests seem to be able to pay attention as the creepy as sh*t gargoyles wave, ensuring that no one is going to be able to sleep that night. Even Shelley is distracted by their utter creepiness during her poem reading. A bunch of butterflies are released. What might have seemed like a good idea, goes south fast when the butterflies, instead of flying off, decide to stick around by attaching themselves to people. At the end of it all, the vows are exchanged, and Lynne’s husband surprises her with a special, gaudy, butterfly diamond ring. Can we check this off our never want to watch again list? 

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The party continues. There are more tree people. A blue cake with elephants kissing. Susanna, showcases her child-like maturity and asks her husband if he’s noticed if anyone is missing. She giggles and tells him it’s a swear word.  

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Vanassa’s at home. She’s making popcorn, relaxing with her husband. I would rather be chilling in my sweats with Vanassa and her husband, eating popcorn, over Lynne’s wedding any day. She takes an accurate swipe at Lynne, saying that she doesn’t need a circus display of affection to know her love for her husband is validated. Check-mate. 

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Sometime later, Vanassa calls Leha to thank her for coming. Vanassa asks how things are going and Leha says she has to put a stop to Lynne’s manipulations. Vanassa agrees. Sounds like a pretty nasty showdown is brewing. 

Sound off below, I really enjoy your comments! Until next week!

Jamie V

 

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About the Author

An English major who is a self-proclaimed nerd as well as a wine enthusiast. Loves dogs, books, any chance to take a nap, and a lover of TV, with special regards to almost everything on Bravo. Follow me on *Twitter*

  • TartLemon

    I’m loving this show. All the narcissism and back stabbing from grown women that’s how they really act in real life. Sure the show is edited, but this is how they REALLY ARE! Cut throat beauty pageant denizens.

  • TopGear

    I am so sick of Lynne whinong about her wedding. She and her hideous husband are so annoying.

  • RealitytvJunkie

    This is one of the messiest, silliest, most petty, pointless group of women on television, and I’m loving every minute of their show, lol!

  • kate

    Tackiest “wedding” I’ve ever seen! I have truly been to less cringe-worthy sweet 16s. This can’t be real life… can it? Where the hell do they find these people????