Don’t Be Tardy Recap: Spring Break Forever, Biermanns [Episode 5]

Posted on Aug 8 2014 - 1:37pm by Reality LuLu


Ah finally, the rain has gone away and the Biermann bunch can go outside and enjoy their so-called private beach. I don’t see anything private about it because the camera is blurring out tons of people on both sides of them but I digress.

Its day 4 of spring break vacation. Brielle wanted to go jet-skiing. Kim said absolutely not. There were red flag warnings and Kim worries enough about her. If something happened in the ocean she wouldn’t be able to get to her. Brielle then does what most teenagers do. She asked Kroy. Kroy told her to ask her mother. And so it goes, Kim wins this round.

Next we see Kim and Kroy rolling the stroller through the sand as they walk and talk. She says there is some lingering tension between the two of them over last night’s discussion about Brielle. Kim wants to think Brielle is perfect. Kroy is realistic about teenage pressures.

Kim knows that the time is fast approaching when Brielle will be 18 years old and she will have a life of her own. However, she isn’t motivated to do anything including clean her own room. Kroy says that is because there is nothing (meaning no one) to motivate her. In other words, Kim is passing her laziness onto her daughter. I’m sure she has heart to heart discussions with her on how to land her own Big Papa so that she doesn’t have to do a damn thing.

Next, we see the bunch walking on the boardwalk or as Kim called it “The Redneck Riviera.” Lana must be home with the twins. They spot a stage where they can karaoke and dance to a song with a green screen behind them. The result is their heads popped on animated bodies. This thing just so happened to have the song “Don’t be Tardy.” Is anyone else with me in thinking they sang a different song and production edited it to make is appearDon’t be Tardy” was actually playing? Oh Bravo you are crafty!

Don't Be Tardy

Walking on, they spot people inside of balls rolling around on top of the water. Kim offers Sweetie $75.00 if she does it. Sweetie doesn’t want to get her shirt or weave wet but hey, money is money. She gets in the ball, we see her stumble and fall a few times and that is that. Meanwhile, Brielle has constantly been on her phone texting.

Don't Be Tardy

At dinner they talk about their yearly spring break vacations. Brielle informs them that she won’t be along next year because she will be with her senior class partying it up in Cancun, Mexico. Kim doesn’t like this idea. Kroy, being the calm Dad that he is, tries to diffuse the tension and says they have a whole year to figure it out.

It’s another sunny day on the beach. Kim is lying out and Kroy breaks out his new GI-Joe binoculars. Kim bitches to us that she was mad when she saw that he paid $3,000 for them. This is funny coming from the woman who will spend that on a procedure to melt fat away instead of working out for free. It gets better though when Kim tells us that the lenses have Swarovski lenses. What? She wants to know how Kroy even knows about Swarovski crystals. Here’s an idea, go get your giant ring appraised. If he knows about Swarovski, he knows about QVC’s Diamonique collection.

Don't Be Tardy

Those $3,000 binoculars are about to pay off. What is that? Oh look its paparazzi taking photos of the Biermann bunch. Kroy digs his heels in the sand and marches over to them. Kim runs to catch up to him but can’t run that fast because her boobs were flopping too much. The rest of the gang goes to. Where are the babies??

Don't Be Tardy

Kroy has words with the man and woman paps and explains they are trespassing on a private beach. There was a sign! He tells them to leave. Kim slaps the camera away from the man because he was videotaping the whole thing. The woman barks something to Kroy about getting physical and Kim tells her that Kroy would never get physical with a woman. Eventually they agree to leave.

Don't Be Tardy

Kim complains that they got pictures of her while her hair looked flat, her boobs looked saggy and damn it all, the least they could do is split the proceeds for however much they sell the photos for. It’s only fair.

That night Brielle announces she is having some friends over. Four people. Okay maybe six. Kim doesn’t want them in the house. They can convene on the beach. Sweetie will be home to make sure no one gets out of control.

Kim and Kroy are enjoying their first night out alone since the beginning of the year. They are eating bread pieces dipped in melted cheese. Meanwhile a bunch – the number mentioned was 80 -of young teenage boys gather on the Biermann private beach. There were maybe 2 girls amidst all of this testosterone.

Arianna and her friend come to join the party. Brielle is not amused. She wants her to leave. Eventually getting the hint, baby sister walks away mumbling about not wanting to be at the stupid party anyways.

Next, Sweetie comes out. She is mortified at the number of kids there and the fact that the majority of them were boys. She goes inside the house and immediately informs Kim of the situation. She and Kroy decide to end their cheese date and go home.

As if instinctively knowing her parents were on their way home, Brielle announces to the party people that there was another party just down the way. She suggested they go there because her party was over. Once Kim and Kroy arrive home, Brielle explains to them she asked the group to leave because a lot of them were drunk or had done drugs before they arrived and she does not hang around those types of kids. Kim naturally is proud of Brielle. She says that her mother warned her she would get payback for what she put her parents through as a teen. So far, her mother has been wrong.

Don't Be Tardy

Next week Brielle wants to try her hand at Cheerleading. Kim thinks it is just because Brielle wants to wear the cute skirt.

Until then, Reality LuLu


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About the Author

I began writing about people that put themselves on Reality Television 3 years ago after my son was in a car accident. I needed something to do when I became his primary caregiver. I started “Reality TV Morons” Facebook on where I gathered over 2000 followers. I’ve done interviews with people like Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Barney, Catherine Ommanney, Peggy Tannous and Rob Shuter.

I am a Medical Assistant recently taking a leave from my job after losing my mother 2 months ago & 21-year old nephew 3 weeks ago. I’m taking time to reevaluate where I want to be and am looking forward to once again writing about Reality Television especially any of the Real Housewives Franchises.

  • KJ

    I love these 2 together, what I don’t like at ALL, is all the swearing that goes on between ALL the family members along with the disrespect!!
    Talking to adults the way they do, awful, just awful!! I’m surprised that KJ hasn’t said F U yet!!

    • RonnieIsBack

      He has. That was last week.

    • chacha1

      He called his father a F-ing Beast and the week before he dropped the F bomb

  • cait

    When did these girls start learning their new, unpleasant behaviour ? Oh yeah, when they hooked up their new “SLAVE” Boy, Kroy ! His injury will never get better whilst they order him around like a house DAWG !

  • RealitytvJunkie

    When she was on the beach chasing down paparazzi and strolling the baby’s on last night episode she looked crazy. She probably hired the “paparazzi” so she could say “see how important I am?! Everyone wants to take my picture!”

  • I don’t blame Kim and Kroy for being protective over Brielle. Always remember what happened to Natalee Holloway. That can happen anywhere, even in your own backyard.

  • Sara

    I like the show, but hate her mouth, can she talk without saying nasty words. What about her kids hearing all that nasty trash talk.

  • nan/4

    I’m going to out on a limb, and say that I think they are happy together, and the kids are just adorable. I do agree their the language is disgraceful…….ALL of them. Doc! You read my mind. Natalee Holloway actually came to mind as I was watching this episode!

  • chacha1

    Miss Wiggy can talk Versace, Chanel and LV luggage all she wants but she is still the pig wearing lipstick …. she tries to impress but that skank is white trash, always was and always will be … and Kroy does look miserable, he loves his kids but I am sure he has had it up to here with Kim and her nasty mouth and always doing what she wants when he says NO …. the stupid Goober will finally give in to her when she gives him his daily BJ while she is swigging beer from a red plastic cup