Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: A Rumble in The Bali Jungle [Episode 16]

Posted on Aug 4 2014 - 11:37pm by Norrth Cafe

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Tonight’s episode of the “Real Housewives of Orange County” begins with the housewives eagerly getting ready for the trip to Bali, each wife excited in her own way, thinking about her family while packing and looking forward to what each hopes will be a good time. Heather hopes it will be peaceful, spiritual and cleansing. She would be better off wishing for a winning lottery ticket. It’s not just the title that tips us off that trouble is a-brewing. Tamballs Barney Judge seems geared for a fight. Have a seat before what comes next. Tamra refers to Lizzie (!!!) as very self-absorbed.  She is not a Lizzie fan, and wants the world to know it – or at least the person on the other end of the phone. It’s all the proof I need that there are script writers for this show – someone loves hardcore irony if Tamra is calling Lizzie self-absorbed. Lizzie appear to have the most apprehension about the trip. We find out that Tamra texted Danielle the day after Lizzie’s birthday, making fun of her dress. She wonders what kind of friend Tamra is. That joke writes itself.

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Vicki teases that the trip is literally 900 hours, and says she’s celebrating Halloween, Christmas, and New Year’s while there. Sometimes I forget just how funny she is. While in flight we see these women as they probably are when the cameras aren’t rolling. They are completely likable and look real. They behave like real people. The complaining doesn’t start until they land and realize how hot and humid Bali is. Vicki climbs into the airport van drivers’ seat, blows the horn and starts screaming to get the show on the road before she starts driving. It’s cringe worthy. The wives are disappointed by the less than scenic route to the hotel – Tamra says she thought the place was more like Bora Bora than Tijuana… apologies to our neighbors in Bali and Tijuana. They are all overly excited by the “whole families” riding together on Vespas, zipping past the van and weaving through traffic.

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Shannon is in her heyday under the hotel porte cochère, not to be confused with the Dubrow porte cochère (snicker). She has Vicki with her and the ladies are greeted with flowers for their hair, a dab of frangipani water, and what appears to be a little relaxation oil. Someone should have stressed the relaxation part to Vicki because the only thing she cares about is getting a working internet connection. The rooms are amazing. It turns out that the trip took 25 hours and, despite exhaustion, Shannon promises us that she’s ready for fun, that “vacation Shannon is fun, times 10.” Vicki finds that she has a working internet connection. SUCCESS!  HAPPINESS! In Bali? Why not just vacation at a Red Lobster, people? 

Next they are at dinner together, and Heather produces Balinese crowns she’s purchased for everyone. Shannon jokes that at least it will hide the frizz in her hair. Vicki, in a TH, says that they look like dumb asses. She proceeds to prove herself right when the waiter tries to explain that the dish they’re about to eat is a prawn mousse, and Vicki questions (using hand gestures) if it’s a shrimp that swims – hands wide, wading in imaginary water, or if it’s a moose, it can’t be both. Exasperated Heather explains to her what the waiter means. There is room for condescension, and this is one of those times. The meal goes well. No one has thrown a blow, verbal or physical.  I think they’re all too tired.

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The next day begins with sitting under umbrellas on the beach and drinking cocktails.  They talk about elephant rides and kayaking. In a TH, Tams warns Shannon about Vicki being klutzy and is sure Vicki is going to cause some sort of accident if the two of them go kayaking. Danielle and Lizzie are in the pool discussing Vicki’s “dumb and dumber” comment. Lizzie is cool, she’s over it, especially since Vicki came to her dinner that night. Danielle is still steaming and wants to air it out. Lizzie thinks Tamra is the real culprit, talking about people behind their backs. Danielle doesn’t seem to care for Tamra, either. Vicki does not disappoint. The women pass by an abandoned boat on the water and Shannon is sure Vicki will try to board it. Vicki tries and knocks them both into the ocean, as well as their cocktails. They arrive safely back on shore, but are in need of new cocktails to settle their nerves.  They are very much the “Ramona and Sonja” of the OC, and I thank them for that.

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The bus arrives for the 30 minute trip to the elephant ride. Vicki gets carsick, having asked not be seated in the back. She feels that being the oldest, her age should count for something – she wanted the front seat. The group learns the hard way to take heed. Vicki dry heaves and begins vomiting when she exits the bus. Vicki asks Shannon for a home remedy to help her – Shannon has not one item with her. I sure hope Sophie is watching to remind her mother that she made her travel to Rome with what appeared to be a small pharmacy! The rest of the ride is equally eventful, Vicki is screaming and flipping out at the number of turns the van is making. It appears the other wives have learned a small lesson, she is at least complaining from the front seat instead of the back. As they arrive Heather warns the women not to scream, they’ll scare the elephants and says that she wants a glass of champs while on the elephant. I was hoping she’d forgotten she tried to make “champs” happen.

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Vicki rides with Heather, Shannon with Lizize, Tams and Danielle. Vicki behaves like a three year old and screams because the elephant’s hair is tickling her feet – picking her feet up to lay her legs across Heather’sHeather is immediately afraid of tipping over because the carriage is now unbalanced. Even Shannon is exhausted (and says so) by Vicki’s drama and wants her to take a break from it. 

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Lizzie talks to Shannon about the party and Tams’ behavior. Lizzie apparently learned that Tamra knew that morning that she wasn’t going to the party and waited until she was in the bus waiting for at least an hour before calling. Tamra and Shannon are having a blast discussing Tamra – who probably doesn’t hear them because she’s amazed and excited at the sight of an elephant penis. Shannon wants to know where things end with Tamra and wants to know who she thinks she is, given her behavior.  Heather reports that she and Vicki had fun, once Vicki stopped screaming.

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The interstitial is Cindy the elephant playing the harmonica. Vicki, in a TH, comments that in 7th and 8th grade she played the clarinet so they are both musicians. Damn it.  I’m getting soft.  I found that endearing.

It’s dinner, drinks are ordered – never a good sign for peaceful, spiritual, and cleansing times. The heat is driving them mad. The good news, according to Heather, is that she’s losing weight #nowords. Vicki wants to skinny dip #stop. Tamra tells Danielle that her itchy butt is a sign of good luck #classy. Vicki makes the unfortunate “Dumb and Dumber” comment again, #why… Danielle wants to clear the air. Lizzie describes Vicki’s approach to the bus, as she uttered those words, as hysterical. Vicki denies being hysterical. They can at least admit they had a great time together that night. Lizzie says that all she did was have a party and everyone was “shit” to her. 

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Now Tamra is involved and wants to know exactly who Lizzie was referencing. Lizzie asks why Tamra didn’t call the next day, but made the time to text Danielle to mock her dress.  Tamra shows evidence that they exchanged texts that night, but Lizzie doesn’t care because of the mean texts send to Danielle the next day. Heather is glad they at least made it 24 hours without a fight, and is extra glad no one is yelling at her. ::sigh::: Has she gone 24 hours without making that reference? Lizzie says she’s over it. Vicki orders more drinks (really?). Heather realizes that it’s not over because they are not talking and working it out.

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Lizzie thinks Tamra should be human and apologize for hurting her. She talks about crying that night and being hurt. She even took her pain out on her husband (in previously unaired footage, we see her crying in Danielle’s arms as she threatens to leave her husband if birthday #35 is also a disaster and when he walks to the front of the bus she smacks at him for, basically, being impotent, asking him why doesn’t he get a boner once a week). Sweet hot sauce and crab cakes. It was brutal. No hitting below the belt? Lizzie dropped the belt to his knees to hit him with that one.

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Each camp separates.  It comes to light that Heather got a similar text from Tamra making fun of Lizzie and Tams is even more pissed off at Heather, now, because Heather has the texts to show her. Neither Vicki nor Tamra will look at them. I think it’s funny that everyone seems to save Tamra’s every message. That’s telling. I wonder if Heather is re-thinking her stance that Tamra would NEVER have told Shannon and David that the Dubrows wanted to take them down.

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How the hell long has Lizzie been holding on to her secrets???  She spills what could be all of the tea, or just a splash.  It is hard to tell. She tells Shannon to be careful of calling someone a friend. While Shannon thought she was building a real friendship with Tamra, apparently Tamballs was making fun of Shannon behind her back. Tamra told ALL of them about the email from David, although she said she only told Heather to get Heather to leave her alone. Lizzie tells Shannon that Tamra, her friend, talked crap about her – telling others that Shannon needs an exorcism, has three Martians around her head, and that Tams does impersonations of Shannon. We learn Tamra is still trashing Vicki and Brooks, mostly Brooks. Lizzie even spills that Tamra talks crap about Heather.

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We conclude with Vicki and Tams in bed, Vicki sympathizing with Tams. Vicki is hearing from Tamra that after a game of “shag, marry, kill” at Heather’s Valentine’s day dinner, Lizzie thinks Eddie wants to have sex with her. Lizzie’s version is that she and Eddie said they would marry one another, Christian and Tamra picking shagging one another. We need some to roll footage on this one!  (My DVR cut off so if there if there was confirmation of anyone’s story, I’m guessing Lizzie told the correct version of the story!).

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Until next week. I can only imagine that things get worse.  We might need to hold hands and sweat through the next episode, together, friends!

Don’t forget to stop by my Coffee at Café Russe blog.  I ask about daytime controversy, traditional daytime vs. what passes, today. 

 

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About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well.

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  • TartLemon

    First, I want to jump through my TV and slap the shit out of PigFace. Especially when she is so rude to those trying to wait on her or offer other services. ESPECIALLY when she’s in another country representing ALL Americans. It’s because of pieces of trash like this we ALL are considered Ugly Americans. STFU PigFace. The screeching and pretending to be afraid of shit is old. It happens EVERYtime she is on camera. BTW, wear clothes that are appropriate and fit, too.

    Tamra’s a liar. PERIOD!

    • Lorn

      Is pig face what you call Vicki?

  • Lorn

    Great re-cap! Can’t stand Vicki! Who the hell is she to call anyone “dumb and dumber”? Especially when she has the face of the Elephant man.

    Lizzie is gorgeous and seems nice–but I was taken back when she told her husband he better produce a better birthday or she’ll leave him and told him to get a boner once a week. Seriously! Tamra lies and is jealous of her because she knows bi-sexual Eddie is probably attracted to her. Also, is Lizzies friend a former housewife that got demoted; why is she on the show in every scene?

    Shannon was the calmest she’s ever been but worry about her reaction with Tamra given Lizzies reveal. I really think its best to not react and keep her distance as Tamra has issues.

    Heather wasn’t an overbearing, pompous ass for once which is refreshing.

    The only highlight of this episode was beautiful Bali, the resort, and Lizzie voicing her concerns over what Vicki and Tamra said. Other than that, the episode was okay.

  • cait

    Trampra, say goodbye to your kids, soon ! Your most intelligent conversations were “elephant’s penis” and “itchy butt” They will watch this at pal’s houses ! I think Edna was straight when he met the witch !

  • cait

    Does Snicki actually have a job ? We only see her sitting alone in her office, or trying to link up the pute on a trip, where she’s wasted most of the time !

  • RealitytvJunkie

    I find all of them funny, proving that just because you may have money does not buy you any manners or class. Plus it also proves that if you have more than two women in a friendship, crap will happen. Tamra has been notorious for lying, and over exaggerating, Heather called her out on it and Tamra as usual is the bad guy and rightfully so. As for Shannon, everything has been stirred from the beginning via Tamra. Now, Heather needs to remove the stick and Vicki needs to calm herself, Lizzie was wrong about taking things out on her husband but she needs to take responsibility for her actions and not blame everyone else in the process. It is about time Tamra gets her just desserts and since she was recently fired from the RHOC, no more Tamra.

    • Gump’s Mom

      She better start making Cut Fitness work!

      • RealitytvJunkie

        I agree. I heard it’s not doing well.

        • cait

          Well who was her first manager ? Ryan ! Hated the gym And the customers ! He was so scruffy and yet again the hubby had to deal with the situation ! Simon looking better all the time ! Eddie, too, till she kept sniping at him !

          • RealitytvJunkie

            I agree. Simon is turning out to be the good guy.

  • Jennymckitty

    So last night we saw Lizzie tell a lie to stir up drama wit Tamara then get caught lying and immediately change the subject. Then when Tamara left, Lizzie took the opportunity to stir up more drama. Of course Lizzie made some rookie mistakes…namely Tamara saves every correspondence in case she needs it for evidence later. Lizzie has a long way to go before she can be the Queen Pot Stirrer, but it is nice to know there is someone waiting in the wings in case Tamara is unable to fulfill her duties.

  • Awesome recap Norrth!

    I hope nobody believes all the RUMORS that Tamra was fired. Bravo wouldn’t do that to their bread & butter. Tamra credits her behavior to “doing her job” but I think that long time viewers know that is who she is. She is a mean spirited, jealous and insecure woman who grew up in a very trashy environment and got very, very lucky. She is an OC Housewife ONLY because she met and married Simon who was the one that made a lot of money and lived in Orange County. I was so happy Lizzie called her out last night.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Agreed. I cannot wait until they take her down. Slade was close with his “suck off somebody else” comment..sent her azz bawling….damn I miss Slade because his slimy azz kept Trampa and Icky at bay..hell they even lost weight because of him LOL.

      • Chloe

        I have had my fill of Tammy Sue Waddle-Vieth-Barney Judge (aka Tamra) this season, thank you very much. She needs to go the way of Gretchen and Alexis. Tammy’s junior high melodrama has played itself out. Her modern version of passing nasty notes in class is texting trash to the other Housewives and stirring up trouble, which gives her a story line and screen time.

      • Hi sugah! *waving* How is your mom doing?

        Yes! Slade knew how to push Tamra’s buttons. I miss him for that.

        • RonnieIsBack

          Hey momma! She is still holding on strong,,,still in ICU but we are prayful…thanks!

    • Birdie11

      Nailed that…she is also becoming very one dimensional…predictable.

      • Hey Birdie! 🙂

        Tamra is VERY one dimensional. Mean and vindictive Tamra is still playing the “who me?” “I never said that” role…liar, liar.

        • Birdie11

          At least before this season you could half believe her once in awhile. I think she is more miserable now than she has ever been…and bringing others down to make herself feel better is a bigger deal to her than it’s ever been.

          • That’s because Eddie doesn’t want her and she’s miserable.

          • Birdie11

            I also think that she hates being a business owner, and working so much.

          • Yes! I read she’s use to men taking care of her. I’m sure she has a ton of resentment building.

      • Jennymckitty

        The entire HW franchise has become predictable and boring. The producers keep replaying the same story line over and over. Usually different people play the villain but Tamara is the perpetual OC villain. I remember how this show used to be and miss it. I even miss Vicki’s polyester brown pants. Some would call it boring but I enjoyed it.

    • Jennymckitty

      Next year will be the 10th year for OC. I doubt many of the other HW will make it that long. I see Bravo making a big deal about it. I don’t think they will shake the cast up too much. I really think they will try to get Jenna back for at least a friend.

    • RonnieIsBack

      I just started watching this chit again just to see the decline of vile Trampra..I hope they roast her non-azz at the reunion…

      • I heard the reunion is off the chain. Word on the street is they all turn against her.

  • Birdie11

    Vicki is trashy, but she is the only one from this bunch that I would ever want to travel with…at least she’s funny. Danielle actually spoke this episode but her blank expression stayed exactly the same. Way to go with the itchy butt breakout performance, Danielle.

    • Chloe

      It’s been said that Tamra isn’t coming back next season which would be great! Tamra is seriously an awful, awful person. She is mean, nasty, vindictive and manipulative. She does not have it in her to be nice in any way. Vicki is really a very nice person in real life, it’s too bad she doesn’t come across that way on TV.

      • Noooo Trailer Trash won’t be back. LOL!!!

        Totally agree!

      • Birdie11

        I agree…I do think Vicki is inherently kind and cares about how others feel. Tamra has nothing in her that shows that.

        • Chloe

          I agree. Tamra is the real Miss Piggy. She’s ugly inside and out.

      • Gump’s Mom

        She was such a bitch when Gretchen was first on the show too LOL. I think Tamra has always gotten by on her looks alone. Looks can only last for so long.

        • Chloe

          She’s looks scary now, like an old shriveled up shrew.

        • RonnieIsBack

          Well she didnt; get far…she was a beedy eyed looking frizzy hair skank looking trash back in the day..I think Simon fixed her up..got her boobs and on the show..and a monster was born.

  • Lizzie is not as sweet as we all thought, especially when they aired that comment she made to her husband on the bus last week..that was so messed up!

    • Birdie11

      I thought it was very weird to be so obsessed with a birthday…to lash out over something so trivial said a lot.

      • Gump’s Mom

        The majority of the women on these Bravo shows are totally self involved.

        • Birdie11

          VERY true.

        • Hi Gump’s Mom – True…that seems to be status quo.

      • Same here. Weird and very immature.

      • cait

        It was her “pals” who trashed the party !

    • Lorn

      I agree Doc. I was taken back by her comment to her husband–especially when she told him to get a boner once a week. That was disgusting. At first I liked her now I feel rather indifferent. She also lied about texting Tamra which I thought was very telling.

      • Hi Lorn. Hope you’re having a good day. I agree with you. After seeing the “unseen footage” of her on the party bus I felt second-hand embarrassment for Christian. And saw a new side of Lizzie I didn’t care for. Her lie to Tamra I kind of felt maybe she was drunk and forgot. Maybe????

        • Lorn

          I think Lizzie is a gold digger and don’t think her marriage is as great as she makes it seem. What she said was really mean and I don’t think its the first time.

          • Bingo! She dated famous men before her hubby and I sense she feels like she settled. Her poor husband looked sad and defeated when he moved to the front of the bus. I don’t think it’s her first time disrespecting him in front of others either.

          • Lorn

            What famous men did she date?

          • One of the backstreet boys….I forget which one.

          • RonnieIsBack

            Snap!!!! that;s where I’ve seen her face before..was it AJ…

          • Yes!!!!!!! Thanks honey.

    • RonnieIsBack

      yeah it was rough but at least she didnt say “that’s why I phukin the poolboy..or something like that.
      I just hope she is getting some now lol…

  • cait

    Lizzie learning fast off Trashra ! Just keep the insults coming and don’t bother with the E-mails, then it will be up to Trampra to prove or disprove what you say ! That’s what SHE did !

  • cait

    Both Pricki and Trashra fighting for Top Dog ! Dog being the right word !

  • italiano bambino

    Still team lizzie fuck tamra

    • IKR. I would take Lizzie any day over Tamra.

  • Dani-K

    Such a funny recap, Norrth! I was team Lizzie, but when she started dumping the “tea” on Shannon, I felt like – Hey! Shannon’s been through enough! And that comment to her husband – Ouch! Having said that, I like Lizzie way better than Tamra.

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