Real Housewives of New York Recap: Bossy Drama as Heather And Kristen Face-off [Episode 17]

Posted on Jul 2 2014 - 1:17am by Norrth Cafe

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We open the “Real Housewives of New York” to what was either the sound of an Eagle shrieking, or the people of Missoula begging RHONY to leave. Kristen returns to “Antlers cabin still peeved at Heather. She feels that Heather should have respected the fact that she was having fun with GeoCaching. She hoped that, for once, Heather would do something she wanted. While still on the trail the women are discussing Kristen’s reaction and Sonja again comments that Kristen is just not a hostess. Sonja is reminded that she said the same of Carole in St. Barth.

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Ramona has it right. She is back at the cabin and has made platters of fruit and cheese. She has chilled wine, beer, and champagne waiting. Although Ramona is sick of the trip, she realizes she can’t have her friend pick her up in his plane a second time, the other women would not forgive her for it. Ramona is not above kicking a girl when she’s down, so learning that Kristen is not with them because she’s upset, she throws out the “bad hostess” title, again. Wait… where is Super LuAnn to stop the nasty talk about her friend? Ha, right. Silent. Lu is headed for the beer. Heather is drinking another beer and defending herself against the claim that she’s bossy.

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The ladies are impressed with the spread and as they eat, Carole goes to the other cabin to check on Kristen. This may surprise you… gird your loin… Kristen is crying, she feels that she’s been crapped on the entire trip. At the Antlers cabin, Heather admits that she has a buzz. Whaaaat? She hid is so well. We flash over to Beaver cabin as Kristen says that she’s not the type of person to cry (fish don’t swim, birds don’t fly). Carole gets her to calm down and they all get ready for dinner and a night away from the cabins. They’re going “glamping” (glamorous camping). Sonja has slept the day away and is not ready; she does not want to go and reminds Ramona that she (Ramona) is tired of spending time with everyone. Ramona makes Sonja get her things together. Heather is in another room, still faulting Kristen for ruining the day.

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Ranch hand Adam leads the way. The glam tents sit near a well-appointed open air cabin. Sonja is awake now that she’s seen both ranch hands. Ramona pulls a “Ramona” and says, in a TH, that the tents in S. Africa were much nicer. Ramona is #TrueNorth. Heather grabs her things and playfully, says “move bitch” to Kristen – who is annoyed and confronts her. Heather tries to tell her it was a “friendly bitch” thing. I’m thinking that there are no friendly bitches in this crowd, and having said that, I think Kristen goes too far in not accepting that it was meant to be a friendly gesture. Ramona tells them to talk about it later, they need to find out where they’re sleeping. No dice. Kristen feels that Heather is antagonizing her. I feel like a kindergarten teacher listening to this dreck. The conversation ends with Kristen walking away – snarking that Heather is the boss. Oh mercy I’m so tired of this trip. If I was there, I would turn the car around, go home, and make them all go to their rooms.

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Ramona takes charge, once again. She claims a king size bed in a private room, orders wine and heaters for the outdoor spaces… oh yeah, and tells Kristen how awful she is at planning. She claims to have lost her voice over the stress of taking over where Kristen was lacking. She gives herself the title of hostess of the trip, and thinks Kristen should thank her. In a TH, Kristen says that Ramona can go f—k herself. Heather comes in and looks as if she’s still buzzed from the day before, moving and speaking slowly. As they sit at the table, Lu tells Sonja she’s like family to her – her wicked stepsister but still family. Lu still loves Sonja despite their disputes taking into account their decade long friendship. Kristen is a dog with a bone and goes in on HeatherHeather stands on her chair and mocks Kristen, screaming that she (Heather) is bossy- she’s the boss bitch. In a TH, Heather says she can’t see where this is all coming from. Kristen tears into her, telling her that she even bosses her husband, Jonathan. She wants Heather to “own up to it.” In a TH, Heather calls Kristen a bitch for going after her family. She tells Kristen she has gone too far by messing with her family and that her husband deserves more respect than that. Kristen won’t stop, and says she’ll say it again. Heather suggests she stop really fast.

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Carole gets involved telling Kristen it’s wrong to judge someone else’s marriage, it’s insulting – I think Aviva is dying with laughter from hearing Carole make the claim. Haven’t they all judged her relationship with her husband, Reid?

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Kristen Glanville storms off after telling everyone that she won’t wipe their butts they can do that for themselves and if they want butlers, there they are (seriously, she is referring to the ranch hands who don’t look happy to be referred to as butlers!). I take her point to mean that she’s sick of them griping about not being catered to every moment of the trip. Ramona joins Kristen and surprises her by taking her side. In a truly pot-calls-kettle moment, Ramona states that the problem is that Heather takes herself too seriously. Ramona compares Mario and poor downtrodden Jonathan, who Ramona calls ‘Josh’, at one point. Ramona says that Jonathan walks into a room and no one knows who he is or that he’s there. Mario, Ramona says, walks in and takes over.  They think Jonathan lives in Heather’s shadow. Ramona thinks he’s afraid of Heather.

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The next morning brings no relief, for the viewers or the housewives. Carole and Heather share one of the king size beds and wake up talking about last night. Heather calls Kristen mean. Kristen is calling the real “Josh” – to no good end. Josh doesn’t think Heather has a character flaw, being a strong woman is just part of her personality. He supports Heather. Heather thinks that rappelling the day before caused Kristen to pop a brain cell. We find out that they will be attending a rodeo later that day – A welcomed distraction. They dress for it as if they’re going to a western wear photo shoot for Vogue. Kristen rides in the SUV, centered between Ramona and Sonja. I’m guessing that moment is also her version of what hell feels like and she’ll be making up with Heather, soon. Lu, Carole, and Heather are in the other SUV making jokes about Kristen, that rappelling sent her over the edge, literally. Heather is amazed by the rodeo and feels sad she can’t share it with Kristen. Unless Kristen apologizes, Heather is done with her. While still at the rodeo, Kristen brings up the night before with Carole. Just as she did with Josh, she is barking up the wrong tree. Carole defends Heather against Kristen’s claims that Heather couldn’t take not being in control with the geocaching. Carole claims Heather was ok with their disagreement, but Kristen’s tone was the issue.

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I get what’s going on here. The editing monkeys at Bravo are so bored with these women that they keep playing their ONE conversation on a feedback loop and are only changing the visuals. Clever, clever… but STOP. There are almost NO new conversations since the geocaching nightmare. This was a waste of film and time. We could have been back in the city by now. At the same time Carole is smacking Kristen’s hands, Heather is spilling business about Kristen’s family and claims that Kristen is projecting her issues onto her. In case you care, Kristen has a nanny that sleeps over.

The interstitial is of Carole pranking the women, with help from one of the ranch hands, by dressing up in a $600 bear suit she found on Ebay, and hiding in the woods until she’s spotted. It was funny. The fun was short lived. We return to Kristen now talking with LuAnn about the fight that never ends. She is upset that Lu thinks she went in a little hard on Heather. Lu looks, to me, as if she’s afraid she’ll be caught talking to Kristen

The next day finally arrives. It’s later in the day and the women are on the way to dinner by the river, with three chefs waiting to cook outdoors for them.  Before they can leave, the “crazy aunts” argue about who is wearing panties and who likes to let it all hang out (Sonja wins). When they arrive at the “hoedown”, the women are obsessed by a 6’7” cowboy, who is one of the guests at dinner. Kristen has invited lots of the people who’ve worked for them and with them, and others they met in town. What a sweet thing for Kristen to do. There are games and everyone seems to be having a good time. For some reason, Carole drops her halter top and flashes a squirrel. 

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Sonja should have her own daytime soap called “Sonja’s Sad Seductions.” While the other women are having fun, she’s saddling up to a group of cowboys who appear to be immune to her charms. They were probably around when she was flirting with the chefs. This, to me, no longer feels like an empowered woman having a good time. It feels sad and desperate. She at least joins the women for games before it’s all over.

At dinner, Ramona encourages Kristen and Heather to talk. Kristen does a childlike impression of Heather, Heather tells Kristen her tone sucks. Where ARE those damned credits? Why aren’t they rolling, yet? Heather tells Kristen that she doesn’t know how to apologize when she’s wrong. Heather asks how Kristen thinks Jonathan would feel to hear some of the things she said and Kristen tells her that he would probably agree with her. #TeamNoneOfTheAbove  At the end, Kristen gives something she thinks of as an apology and even says that she freaked out on Heather. They make up in a way that feels contrived and weird. Two weeks have been wasted. The editors could not have done more to turn fans off if they tried… and somehow I feel better thinking they tried rather than believing this was the best these women had to offer.

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Until next week.

 

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About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well. ♦ Norrth Cafe's BlogTwitterFacebook

  • distressed

    Great recap, thanks.

    Kristin is a complete loser, and escalating her argument with Heather by attacking Jonathan was completely unnecessary. Mario and Josh are held out to be examples of good men and good husbands? Ramona, the only reason Mario “takes over a room when he enters it” is so that he get the telephone numbers of all the women under 30 in said room. I’ll take Jonathan any day of the week.

    Kristin just wants Heather to own the fact that she’s a strong, confident woman. But Kristin isn’t owning the fact that her own comments were mean spirited and inappropriate. She didn’t say “strong, confident” blah blah blah. She said “bossy” and that’s not an obeservation of someone’s personality like strong or confident is. Calling a woman “bossy” is an insult. And it’s completely sexist because you would never fault a man for strength or confidence. But Kristin has to wear the bossy, itch pants.

    This is what happens when you drop out of school at age 14/16 and never read a book or learn anything in your life that doesn’t pertain directly to hair and make-up and starvation tactics. I don’t want to see anymore former models on these shows. Brandi, Yolanda, Alexis? Done with models as housewives.

    • Hi Distressed…..this was an excellent assessment. Spot on and I agree.

      Happy Hump day!

      • distressed

        Happy 4th right back at you.

    • SAMRA1116

      Touché

    • lloleary

      Love you comments! I do think Kristin is looking in the mirror and seeing Josh dominating her, thus taking it out on Heather/revolting against the feelings she has with him.. You are so right, she could have said, “You are a Strong Woman” instead of declaring H was a “Bossy B.” The majority of the women made it clear they did not want to participate in the Geo thing, but she singled out Heather..
      Now, for Ramona… I just get so tense, up-tight, and feel such awful negative emotions when I see her be so “uppity,” rude, entitled, condescending, trying to act like she was above all this, and…. a “Better” hostess than K and had to “take-over.” My gosh, this woman literally thinks SHE and her life is so much better than others and her standards are so much higher than us “Little People…” (referring to caste mentality).
      Ah, yeah, Ms. PinotPottyManners, we ALL want a husband that cheats on us, too…
      Maybe if you weren’t such a (drunk) Diva Mario would not have “side-eyes” for other females. She is such an embarrassment. It’s always about narrow-minded Romona. She’s always right (smirk). HATES when other people stick their nose in her business, but has no problem doing it to others… Bug-eyed egotistical idiot… (Also…LMAO over your comments re: Mario “entering the Room!).

      • distressed

        I’m harsh on Kristin, she kind of maybe had a point. She just didn’t execute well.

        As far as Ramona, uggghhhh, Ramona. First of all, I read elsewhere and I agree, Kristin is a far better host than Ramona is a guest. By FAR. Did you catch when Ramona arrived at the glamping and she was greeted with a beautiful cocktail. Before even sampling it or saying thank you she asked the guy “do you, ummmm, have stemmed glassware?” She couldn’t even be happy with being served a delightful drink in an appropriate glass, no, she had to have a wine glass for some bizarre reason.

        And Mario is the worst. Do you recall way, way back when he threw dog crap at Ramona? I think it was season 2 maybe 3. Ramona and Bethenny were out walking their dogs, they were in the Hamptons. Ramona scooped the poop and had one of those blue baggies. The Bravo crew were filming the ladies talking about something, not sure. Mario shows up in his car on the way home to mug for the cameras. Ramona and Bethenny are going in the opposite direction. Ramona tries to get Mario to take the bag with him since he’s going straight home and he threw the baggie back at Ramona, laughing. He hit her in the leg with the baggie full of dog poop and Ramona never uttered a word against him.

        And she has the nerve to attack Jonathan for not having a commanding presence. I guarantee you Jonathan has never thrown shit at his wife unless he maybe lobbed her a dirty rolled up diaper for the trash that he himself had changed. Ramona is the worst.

  • SAMRA1116

    Kristen is a complete whiner—sick of her whining.
    She exactly like her friend Brandi —-me, me, me
    Live in maid and she’s tired. SMH

    • Morning Samra! Happy Hump Day!!

      I could not agree more. Kristen is a complete baby who goes out of her way to start fights with others over nothing. She does it all the time with her husband. Watching her temper tantrums are exhausting. Her argument with Heather was beyond absurd…so what if Heather ignored her on the GeoCaching excursion? Isn’t the point of a vaca to let ADULTS do as the please? When Heather was trying to point out her comments (about her controlling her husband) were rude, she totally shut Heather down with the excuse that she was “tired.” As if that justifies her comment. Pulling Heather’s marriage into her argument was a low blow. I’m surprised Ms. Holla didn’t give her a verbal beat down for that one.The ironic thing is, Kristen was the one being bossy by trying to control the GeoCaching event by telling people what to do. I really hope this is her last season because I can’t take anymore of her.

      • SAMRA1116

        I was surprised that Heather didn’t go off on her about her marriage.
        She has no control at home, so she tries to control everyone else. She makes me sick, with her whining.

      • Raine Woman

        Do you want to say “I told you so” now or should we wait a few days? I’m all for waiting but it’s totally up to you!

    • twifan2

      Heck! Get me a maid & I’ll be tired too! :/
      I can’t take reading about her whining, much less watching it.

      • SAMRA1116

        It was awful—she was full of it, everyone told her so.
        She ditzy

  • Tre’s Felon Forehead

    The Bravo Village needs to take this franchise to the town square & torch it – forever. Each episode makes it more and more unbearable to watch. SONJA thinks she is cute when she hits on anything with a third leg. Somewhere along the line she has forgotten that she is a mother of a young girl. NOT that women can’t be sexual but be classy about it. She is just gross. RAMONA is a sloppy, belligerent, hyper drunk. Nothing to admire there. Her talking crap about Kristen’s husband was hilarious given that Mario cheats on her drunk arse. KRISTEN may be annoying but I felt bad for her. She tried to plan a nice trip but these whinny bitches were so ungrateful. HEATHER I like but did see a different side to her last night. LUANN has really won me over this season. All that said, I can’t stand watching them all act like they are in their 20’s. What is wrong with acting like the mature adults they are? Being drunk/high/bitchy/mean/ungrateful/morons is not enjoyable to watch.

    • twifan2

      Maybe Bravo can start up a theme park along the lines of Disney?
      Keep the ‘ladies’ there & away from us ‘innocents’! ;D

  • Dani-K

    Great recap! I agree with you 100% – the women should have been back in NY already. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss Aviva. I do agree that Kristin was projecting. Heather has control in her life; Kristin is a doormat. And Sonja – sheesh. How sad. What I don’t understand is why Countess Luann is not in the opening credits and has been downgraded to “friend” status. She’s had more airtime that Aviva.

    • distressed

      “Heather has control in her life; Kristin is a doormat.” That was the whole thing, classic projection. Childish and pointless. As far as Luann, I think Bravo expanded her role because of Aviva being such a diva. Friends of HW don’t normally go on the trips, and Luann has been on all of them and was “the hostess” for the Saratoga trip.

      • RonnieIsBack

        Kristen is so jealous of Heather..when she threw that tomahak did you see the look on her face like “bitch!”…

  • twifan2

    I don’t understand how these women can be ‘friends’?!
    Do they need the Bravo paycheck that badly? The Bravomercial exposure?

    Oh & great recap Nortth! I do like reading your recap better than watching the episode. 🙂

  • nan/4

    Boy, that was painful to watch! To tell you the truth, they ALL get on my nerves. I liked Heather for a minute, but her IN-YOUR-FACE, I’m a New Yorker routine is wearing thin. Kristin, the KRYER, just stop. LuAnne, I have never liked….I think she’s mean and untrustworthy…..well, I still don’t like her. Carole tries to rise above them all….umm, no. You’re just boring. Sonia, I have had enough of her going after anything male. Grow up already! Ramona is a stinker, but I do believe that all of this was being shot when she found out about her husband’s girlfriend becoming pregnant. It may be the cause of her worse than usual behavior. Who knows? In summation…….LOL……..I say FIRE THEM ALL!!!! We need a new crop of “rich” “housewifes” from New York to criticise!!!!! I’m so bored with this group….ENOUGH ALREADY!!!! JMO……

    Hope everyone is doing well! 😉

    Great recap Norrth! 🙂

    • SAMRA1116

      Nan than was some sweet tea, you just gave us. LMAO
      I concur
      LuAnn is still that snake in the grass, anyway the wind is blowing.

  • RonnieIsBack

    the chit was kray kray. I was just glad to see Heather and Ramona drunk..kept falling over chit. I thought Heather was going to deck Kristen when she kept talking about sappy Jonathan…I think Kristen thought so too..she got up and left LOL…
    Kristen is a jerk and needs attention badly because her husband, the BIGGEST JERK OF THEM ALL, cannot stand her…even the nanny gets to sleep in chit LOL.

  • RonnieIsBack

    Great recap North…I know it was painful LOLZ but you nailed them.

  • RonnieIsBack

    I took a drink everytime Sonja acted slutty and skanky..I was wasted before 20 minutes into the show…..