Ladies of London Recap: “Red, White, and Blue-Blooded” [Episode 3]

Posted on Jun 17 2014 - 2:55am by Dani-K

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Tonight on the Ladies of London, Marissa and Juliet are having cocktails at one of Marissa’s husband’s restaurants, talking about her impending British citizenship. Marissa must take a test and answer questions like: What is a spotted dick? Answer: Pudding. Makes perfect sense. The two are planning a 4th of July party at “Bumpkin.” They call Caroline and invite her. Caroline cleverly points out the irony that Juliet and Marissa are celebrating when the British were thrown out.

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At Caprice’s house we learn that one of her dogs, Rolsy, is addicted to eating his own poo. Caprice has learned from her vet that the cure for this is to mix pineapple with the dog food, but Rolsy doesn’t like pineapple—obviously, if he likes his own poo. Caprice receives a call from her PR people telling her that she’s made the paper’s red carpet coverage from the “Serpentine” party in her pink dress with the bugs. In fact, she is pictured first, before the other celebrities, in her pink dress with the bugs. Caprice is very proud of being first. Something tells me Caprice already knew this information long before that phone call.

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Annabelle is visiting her lovely Granny. Thank goodness for subtitles. Annabelle comes from an aristocratic family. Her mother has four official names: the Marchese Something-Something Santinelli, which will be passed down to the eldest female, who is not Annabelle. Granny shares history on the family “assassin” that killed someone and was given a title for that deed. Way to go Granny for spilling the tea. Annabelle tells her sister and Granny that she will ride in a charity event in Alexander McQueen’s honor. Granny says something about his death, but apparently even Bravo editors could not determine her comments because there are no subtitles and we don’t know what she said.

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At Caroline’s business she is bossing people around, but in a nice way. Finally the word: wanker is used and it makes perfect sense that Caroline is the one to use it. More Americans should use this phrase, it’s more playful and lighthearted than the second word in spotted dick. Handsome Charles stops by with vintage jewelry for Caroline’s exclusive gift company. She has the best job ever! Her attitude on money is that the British don’t talk about it. It’s considered rude. Therefore, she’s more American in this regard.

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Marissa and her husband Matt are at their restaurant sampling food for the 4th of July party menu. First the ribs, which look delicious, but deemed too messy. Next the hamburgers, which are deemed to big and reduced to sliders. And last the lobster rolls served in hot dog buns. They are deemed not British enough (or American for that matter) but pass the mustard. Marissa is doing everything to make sure the party is ready. There is red, white and blue galore and a three piece band that look’s quite dandy. Marissa explains that when you host a party with Juliet it means that you will do all of the work and Juliet will just show up. Marissa looks sweet in her red, white, and blue sundress. Juliet looks like her denim shorts lost a battle with the hedge clippers and her top looks like a designer straight-jacket.

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Noelle and Scot arrive at the party. Thankfully there are subtitles for Scot because he speaks softly and is not always clear. Marissa wishes them a happy 4th anniversary on this 4th of July, reminding them this is when the three first met. Scot reminisces how he and Noelle were each in the papers that week. He was in the crime section; she was in the fashion section. Good times. A match made in tabloid-heaven.

The champagne is flowing because that’s how Americans celebrate the 4th — actually we typically drink beer, but beer was not flowing at the Bumpkin. When Caroline arrives and says something sarcastic about Juliet’s shorter than short-shorts, Juliet tells us it’s because Caroline likes her. Okay? Annabelle arrives and is wearing all black to commemorate the British loss. Caprice arrives with friends. The ladies sit around the table, catching up and talking about riding. Juliet tries to join the conversation, but ferrets her way through, dominating the discussion, and annoying the ladies. Annabelle schools Juliet on taking a breath when she speaks. Juliet wants to know, who the heck does Annabelle think she is — besides freaking brilliant at putting Juliet in her place.

Meet the seven women of Bravo's 'Ladies of London' whose drinking, cat fighting, royal name dropping and even labor scenes are coming to TV - NJ Newsday.clipular

Ladies of London

Marissa tells the party-goers that this will be her last 4th of July celebration. Next year she will be a real British citizen (provided she can pass that test). She announces that Juliet will now sing the National Anthem. Juliet thankfully declines. This is a very difficult song and should not be attempted except by professionals.Unfortunately, Juliet can not resist the attention and breaks into song. Caprice says this is why the British make fun of Americans. Annabelle says it sounds like the Star Strangled Banner. And Caroline compares it to a car crash you can’t turn away from.

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When a friend of Juliet shows up with a gift of red, white and blue underwear, Annabelle has had enough and exits so quickly you’d think it was a fire-drill. Juliet declares this to be extremely rude behavior. But actually, Annabelle is out front smoking with Caroline and another woman. Juliet confronts Annabelle, calling her ruder, when I just want to say, isn’t it more rude? Actually, both are acceptable, but ruder sounds weird due to Juliet’s repetitiveness of the word. Then Juliet lashes out at Annabelle and calls her fancy, polite, and proper. Bam! Take that, Annabelle.

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Caroline explains that in British society you don’t make a scene and this is evident because Caroline and the other woman don’t say a word. In America, we stick up for our friends, right or wrong. Juliet goes back inside and vents to the rest of the ladies about Annabelle’s ruder behavior. Caprice quickly defends Annabelle (Yay Caprice!) and tells Juliet that her personality is dominating and some people just don’t like that. Juliet says that she’s a little kitty-cat inside. Yeah, if that kitty-cat is a dominating, pushy, loud kitty-cat.

Stay tuned for next week’s recap of Ladies of London.

 

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  • Sara

    Annabelle should not have called Juliet “special needs,” that was crass, rude, and unnecessary. Obviously, Annabelle has a chip on her shoulder and still pissed off over WWII, but quite frankly darling, if it was not for the Americans, you would be speaking German right now.

    • I agree wholeheartedly but something tells me, the Brits don’t see”special needs” as rude.

    • distressed

      I said the same thing. Annabelle is a complete fake. She married her money, the family she was born into is probably broke as a joke. And according to Mail Online: “The girl’s party trick was to climb onto the dining table in her tiny dress and stilettos and dance amid the crystal and silver.” She also married the guy, Nat Rothschild, in Vegas. Total fake. And Annabelle’s offended by the red, white and blue knickers brought to the party that day. K.

      Overall, I think Juliet was a bit over the top, but her rendition of such a hard song to sing was admirable and she pulled it off.

      • Chloe

        I totally agree with you, distressed! Annabelle strikes me as a total poser.

  • RonnieIsBack

    Okay I have this on the DVR…is it worth the watch?

    • Morting Ronnie! 🙂

      • RonnieIsBack

        Hellerrrrrr Doc!!!!! Happy Tuesday…

    • distressed

      Yes, I’m starting to get into it now. It’s a great RH type of franchise only younger and fresher. One thing though the ladies numer 6, but only two are British. The rest are Americans trying to assimilate and the animosity the Brits show towards the American girls is quite revolting.

  • Another great recap Dani-K!

    I think Caprice is so desperate to feel like one of the Brits, she would turn on anyone who would hurt her chances with them. What she doesn’t understand is they will never see her as one of them, no matter how hard she tries.Talk about pathetic and desperate, seeing her run after Annabelle. PATHETIC!

    Juliet is very American, which may be abrasive to the Brits but at least she’s herself, which is admirable. Alexander Mcqueen died over 4 years ago and Annabelle is still riding his coattails. I do understand that her wearing him at her wedding helped launch him, but many others were his muse over the years and loved him just as much.

    • distressed

      I’m not a huge fan of Juliet, but I’m 100% Team USA this week. And Annabelle is a complete poser. She’s so offended by the red white and blue bloomers, but this woman was a gold-digging cradle-robbing vulgarian not too long ago.

      Annabelle married one of the richest men in the world, Nat Rothschild – heir to the title, in a scandalous Vegas wedding. Not kidding. The family was appalled and she has been forever barred from using their name or associating herself with them in any way shape or form. I liked Annabelle just fine as the snobby, itchy, depressed black hole, but if she’s going to start calling people on tasteless displays of one’s knickers then we’re going to have a problem.

      From the Mail Online:
      When Nat embarked on a romance with Kate Moss’s friend, model Annabelle Neilson, his family must have cast a jaded eye over his latest choice, whom he had met on a beach in India. They were even more horrified when, aged just 23, he eloped with her to Las Vegas, and married her.

      “It was a huge shock to Jacob and his wife, Lady Serena,” says a close family friend. “They expected him to date models and sow his wild oats – but marrying Annabelle was incredibly impetuous and obviously against the advice of the family lawyers. They were just appalled.”The girl’s party trick was to climb onto the dining table in her tiny dress and stilettos and dance amid the crystal and silver. Rather vulgar, I’m afraid. Nat’s parents predicted it would end in tears, and it did.”

      [blah, blah, blah] And then

      “There is only one thing missing, of course: a wife to share in his success. After his disastrous marriage, Nat has shunned any long-term commitment, but he has reportedly had flings with …”

      • distressed
        • Thanks again Distressed!

          Nice to meet you! 🙂

      • Ooooh weee….thanks for the tea! Annabelle acts like her shit don’t stink. She’s full of herself. Last night’s episode felt like mean girl high school all over again.

        • distressed

          I’m not sure if I even like Juliet that much, but she gave it 100% effort.

          And the feigned offense that Annabelle pulls out of her armpit when the lingerie came out was totally unacceptable. I thought at first, hey she was Alexander McQueen’s muse so this party was tame by comparison, but finding out she married this guy in VEGAS was too much.

  • twifan2

    Awesome recap Dani-K! 🙂
    Haven’t seen that epi yet, but got a good insight into the epi from your recap! Thanks!

    • She sorta does resemble Laurie from the OC. Caprice annoyed me last night. Can’t wait for you to watch so we can converse on these characters.

  • nan/4

    If the shoe were on the other foot, and there were a group of British ladies who had moved to the USA, do you think that the Americans would treat the British like they were inferior to them? NO WAY!!!! We would welcome them AND our differences! Why are they trying so hard to be more “British’? They shouldn’t have to! Caprice totally gets on my nerves, and Annabelle has a huge stick up her butt!

    American or British…..Be proud of who you are, and where you come from!

    Ahem….sorry, I just needed to vent. :-/

    Hope that everyone is doing well! 🙂

    • Hi Nan! Hope you’re well hon.

      The Brits have have long thought they were superior to Americans. Most Americans just never got a chance to see it up close and personal like this. Caprice is a phony wannabe and no matter how hard she tries the Brits will never accept her as one of their own. To the Brits, Caprice is the most tolerable American, that doesn’t mean they really like her.

      • nan/4

        Hiya Doc! It’s nice to see you. 😉 Why the heck do they feel superior? Because they drink tea? hehe I just can’t imagine Americans being so rude to the British. We really are a melting pot, and for the most part, accept people’s differences. It make us who we are, you know?

        • Ahahahaha!!!! Good one! I agree about Americans. At least we have the good graces to wait until you leave the room to bash you.

          • nan/4

            LOL!!!! Hope you and yours are well….. 😉

          • LOL! Thank you! 🙂

          • Hi sweet Nan. I’m doing well, thank you. Hope all is well on your end, honey.

    • distressed

      Right on Nan, I’m with you. It was an incredibly rude thing to do, ask her to sing then make fun of her. Go to the last July 4th party Marisa will ever have then disparage everything and anything American. If it wasn’t for America these people would speaking German and sieging heil – so to speak. There I said it, or rather wrote it.

      • nan/4

        Right on, right on, distressed!! 😉 I totally agree with you.

        Nice to meet you….

        Take good care! 🙂

      • Very well said.

        • distressed

          Actually Sara posted this downthread before I did.

  • Raine Woman

    I don’t know why they call this “Ladies of London”, it’s just another version of Housewives except some have accents. It’s becoming tedious watching grown women behaving so poorly, no matter what country they’re from.

    • CHEERIO! and High tea to that!

      • Raine Woman

        LMAO and Touché! You’re too much!!! 🙂