Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: ‘Choke-lahoma’ [Episode 7]

Posted on Jun 3 2014 - 8:47am by Norrth Cafe

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It’s hot as hades in much of the country, so watching the Beadors and the Dubrows get ready for the holidays was surreal.  Shannon, in a TH, does her best angry bird impression, waving her hands in the air as she discusses how high stress she is in moments like these. I would have been impressed if she had actually taken flight.  Someone must have told the Dubrows that Colette (Coco), is the Milania Giudice of the OC.  She’s not, but they seem to believe it because they call that child’s name every 5 seconds and warn the other children not to touch “Coco”.  I don’t know if the other Dubrow children have nicknames and if Bravo’s editing monkeys didn’t list them, I wouldn’t know their legal names, either.  If I hear “Coco” one more time, I’m watching this damned show on mute. 

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The Real Housewives of Orange County Photos - Recap- Oklahoma- Not OK.clipular (11)

Despite the fact that both families are taking pictures for holiday cards, there is no joy in mudville. Heather and Shannon are proving that they are flip sides of the same coin, controlling every moment. Shannon’s is a shoot from home, Heather’s is a back studio lot.

Ryan is visiting Tams who informs him that she’s seeing an anti-aging doctor. Ryan jokes that she’s about 52, she’s not amused.  Tamra talks about possibly being prescribed HGH while Tams tells us that he’s always struggled with body issues.  Oh skeezballs!  Ryan takes HGH but doesn’t see a need to have a physician check to make sure he’s healthy?  Really?  I’m horrified and think this is STUPID!  Tamra brings up his past health issues and grills him on why he’s sure the stuff he’s buying is safe.   He feels that although it’s “sketchy and possibly illegal”, it’s ok.  He’s sure it’s legitimate.

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Could someone PLEASE tell Vicki to stop playing the big-city sophisticate, appalled at the thought of rubbing elbows with the “little people” of Oklahoma?  We get it, she can’t find it on a map, but I’m guessing she couldn’t find Orange county on a map of the tri-county area, either.  Wouldn’t she be giving Heather enormous grief over turning her nose up?  I don’t know anyone living in Oklahoma, but I’m guessing most of the folks there know the difference between plumeria and chlamydia. Just saying.

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Brianna seems to have a passive–aggressive fascination with humiliating her mother.  I can’t say that I can remember a time when Brianna was dishonest about her mother’s actions, or relationships (as far as the audience knows). She seems to enjoy letting the truth loose and watching the fallout.  When Brianna says/implies that her mother doesn’t help with the children, I believe her.  I see Vicki as very self-focused.  She even uses the dinner with her much missed family to talk about how angry Heather is that she pretend-snoozes when she’s bored.  RYAN!, yes RYAN! thinks it’s disrespectful.  I’ll wait for you to pick yourself up!  Brianna thinks it’s funny, especially the way Vicki and Donn did it (flashback).  Vicki is still harping about Brianna moving in with her, Brianna vows to never return home again.  The couple says that they don’t even plan to retire to California.  Vicki begins choking on a piece of steak at that point and Vicki jokes, in a TH, that she saw Gretchen trying to get her to go to the other side!

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Brianna saving Vicki doesn’t stop the attacks.  Vicki accuses Ryan of taking “the family” away from “the family” after demanding to know what he plans to do with his life-  post service (become a salesman, btw).  They don’t want to raise their kids in California.  Brianna gives a list of everything she gave up because Vicki couldn’t let go (including Doctors Without Borders) and she’s done indulging her mother. Hey, at least Vicki still has Brooks #lousytrade.  The first house we see is large, and there is an underground shelter in the garage.  Troy seems to be freaked out by Ryan going down in the shelter and clings to Vicki – she eats it up.  Brianna knows one thing, she doesn’t want to raise her family in a house that is so similar to the house she lived in in CA. She wants a true fresh start.  She wants her children to play in a yard with neighbors, something she never got to do.  Later, we’ll learn that Brianna feels that she’s never been able to please her mother.

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Oh gosh, someone forgot to tell Lizzie to call Colette “Coco.” Lizzie’s son is more Milania Giudice than Coco, who looks afraid of Preston watching him hit his mother. WHAT?  The mothers talk as the children play and eat cupcakes. The subject of Vicki comes up and Lizzie asks how to make peace with Vicki.  Heather instead brings up Shannon, Vicki and Tamra’s blooming friendship, her issues with Shannon, and then wonders if Shannon is obsessed with her. #PotCallingKettle. Lizzie confirms to Heather that Shannon has shared information some of the details of their fight and almost seems to agree that Shannon talks about Heather a bit much.

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At the doc’s office, Tamra refers to herself as the person who was always the “skinny scrawny girl.” Ryan faults her for his genetics, making it harder for him to gain weight.  She’s eaten as well as she could and has exercised as much as she could and needs help.  The conversation turns to Ryan and the HGH he’s purchased at his gym (HIS gym?  Isn’t he the manager for CutFitness?  That’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for the place he manages).

Lizzie, who earlier talked about Shannon to Heather, is on her way to Shannon’s house with Danielle. Lizzie is looking forward to seeing Shannon’s house. During the make-up party (apparently planned during the Hoedown), Shannon reveals that she had her nose and chin done in college. I think it’s the best RH surgery ever!  She had the surgery after being teased her huge nose. Lizzie mentions the play date. Shannon says that she feels that may have put her foot in her mouth  with Heather but doesn’t know what she had done wrong.  She’s hoping they can all have fun at the Christmas party since it was planned before the fallout.  I’m guessing Heather has never lost a moment’s sleep wondering if she did something to offend Shannon.  Lizzie mentions something interesting and rarely uttered by any other HW.  She feels torn because she understands the side of the person she’s talking to at the moment and then feels caught in the middle.

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Interstitial?  Heather, Terry, manufactured (?) drama over cookies vs. healthy eating and why Terry is a rat bastard for giving “Coco and the gang” a cookie from the Oreos bag sitting in the Dubrow’s pantry – clearly left by the camera crew.

Geez, we’re back with Vicki, who is beginning to accept that Brianna is not moving back.  Ryan orders “Lamb fries” and clearly the joke is on Vicki as we find out they’re fried lamb testicles.  Good joke, gross food product.  Vicki playfully hits the poor waiter out of disgust – I hope they tipped him well for that one.  Vicki tries one last time, and Brianna tells her that she wants to bring her child home to her own house. No dice.

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Lizzie takes the boys to her sister Becky’s house. They are best friends and even live on the same street (awww!).  Lizzie’s sister has a new baby.   All of their family members have three children and Lizzie feels the pressure to have another child.  She seems on the verge of reconsidering when her niece, Gabriella, wakes up and starts yelling.

Shannon gets a call from Heather who wants to meet and talks things out at lunch to fix things.  Shannon is hopeful that there will be resolution to their problems.  Heather suspects that if people are talking behind her back, they must be – you know, because she never talks behind anyone’s back, to every person who will listen. Shannon lets her know that she feels singled out. Heather feels that the conversation about being late happened because Shannon and Tamra were already talking about it and she was drawn in.   The “scary angry” comment comes up and Heather tells her that it was her perception of Shannon’s behavior – the editing monkeys show Shannon calmly talking to Heather at Javier’s during chairgate.  WOOT!

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HOLD THE PHONES!  Heather admits that she shouldn’t have taken “her” chair back, but blows that all to hell when she accuses Shannon of pointing and yelling at her all the way from the bathroom to the table.  Is editing hiding the footage?  Shannon tells her not to try to turn things around on her.  Yeezus Kanye and Kim, I would turn the television off but I have watched the show this long, I may as well suck it up and watch the last few minutes.  Heather wants to know where they go from this moment on – and shares yet another perception: that Shannon has isolated her and stolen her friends. Shannon feels she can never do the right thing as far as Heather is concerned and that Heather perceives herself as being above her and everyone else.  Nothing is resolved.

I was a good person in my former life.  I know that because the episode finally ends.

About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well.

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  • Great recap Norrth. Vicki was so ignorant last night with her Oklahoma comments and Brianna irritates me the way she treats her mother. Ryan (Tam’s son) better be real careful with buying parking lot GHB. Lizzie seems ok, the jury is still out on her, I’m still deciding if I like her. Heather is phony….nuff said!

  • Dani-K

    Norrth I should have just read your re-cap and not bothered with this episode. You know how Vicki “falls asleep” whenever Heather speaks? That’s what I wanted to do during this entire episode. The only comment I have is that during the meet-up between Shannon and Heather, Heather was most definitely condescending. Even in that small scene with her husband and the cookie, she spoke from a superior place. I wonder if Heather sees this when she watches the show for herself? Probably not.

    • Hi Dani-K!

      I agree, Norrth’s recaps tell a better descriptive tale than watching the show. I doubt Heather sees herself as a condensing bitch, most hioty-tioty people don’t.

    • Norrth

      I think this was the worst episode in a LONG time. I was actually peeved with the editing monkeys for it. Heather can go any day now. OF COURSE her family card featured a studio back lot…@@

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    Great recap.

    Briana is finally going to make her escape–and I’m sure the Oklahoma tornadoes will be a welcome change to Hurricane Vicki!

    Also, I didn’t think Whoville could get any more obnoxious and condescending but she’s certainly out doing herself this season! What a BITCH! She talks to her friends like they are children in need of a lesson. I would have to slap the Who out of that bitch’s face if she tried that crap with me.

    I like Lizzie but she won’t last unless she loses her dignity. That’s a requirement of being on one of these trainwreck shows. You have to be a natural neurotic mess like Vicki or you have to learn how to become one. And you have to be willing to lose all your self-respect, most of your friends, and probably your marriage. LOL.

    • Hi Heels….excellent assessment. Vicki was over-the-top obnoxious last night. I felt second hand embarrassment for her with all the OK insults — so ignorant!

      I agree about Lizzie. If she doesn’t stoop to Tamra’s and Vicki’s level she end up being a blurb in the history of the show — Lizzie who?

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        She’s really too much, that Vicki–it’s like she has no filter and doesn’t care how much she pisses people off or hurts their feelings. She wouldn’t stop with the meddling–and asking her married with children daughter to leave her HUSBAND to move back in with her mother shows precisely how self-absorbed Vicki is. My God! I applauded Ryan when he said (under his breath), “It’s not all about you.” Hello and thank you!!

        I think we won’t be seeing Lizzie after this season as she seems to care about her reputation too much. LOL.

        • True….girl but that Ryan scares the shit out of me even when he’s not speaking. Especially knowing of his aggression issues.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            Yeah, I know–me too. I think he has PTSD though–and I have to cut him somewhat of a break because he admitted he had it and IS seeking help.

            War is hell, Doc. I just can’t judge these soldiers that harshly when God only knows what kind of hell they have been through.

      • Birdie11

        Vicki’s comments were ignorant…but Ryan and Brianna’s passive aggressive cracks about tornadoes were inconsiderate and in my opinion, a bit twisted. What a mess they all are.

        • YES!!!!!! I loathe Brianna….and I wish she would buy a mirror. LMAO!

          • Birdie11

            HAHAHAHAHA!!! One full sized, extra LARGE please!!

          • Ahahahaha!!!! Love it…you just as bad as me!

          • MinnesotaHousewife

            I was following along with you & laughing until we get to THESE comments! Mean. Very, very mean. I hope you don’t need an extra large mirror yourselves.

          • Come on…..you’re response was equally as mean. Let’s all laugh at these reality stars and not each other. LOLOL!

          • Birdie11

            I don’t. I bust my butt to stay healthy and fit, and did the same through 4 pregnancies. Brianna needs to get it together, if not for herself, for her children.

          • Good points, Birdie. She should also get in shape to keep her husband interested. Some women forget about their upkeep then wonder why their men lose interest. Brianna looks utterly disgusting. There is no excuses for a woman her age, she should be ashamed.

          • Birdie11

            Vicki is probably biting her tongue to not chime in her opinion…you know it’s killing her!

          • Oh yeah!! Bri looks very unattractive and unhealthy. Totally not Vicki’s style. LOL!!

          • Birdie11

            Like it or not, it reflects back on Vicki…she must HATE it.

          • Do you think Bri keeps the weight on purpose to hurt Vicki?

          • Birdie11

            I wouldn’t put it past her…wrecking the perfect mother (LOL) image…she is quite skilled at being passive aggressive. I also think Ryan might want the weight on her…he seems like the type that likes big girls. LMAO!!

          • I bet you anything Ryan uses her weight to manipulate her. No one else will love you like I love you blah blah blah. You know their marriage is not healthy.

          • Birdie11

            Yes, and guys like that go beserk if another man even glances at their wife.

          • Oh yeah!!!!

        • Norrth

          I agree. I think Brianna does it because she is really hurt that her mother chose Brooks even after the comments about Brianna being in need of a good slapping around. I can’t believe Vicki didn’t dump him then.

          • Birdie11

            Whoops, sorry North for responding above..this comment just came thru. Yes, I’m sure…she’s got the passive aggressive thing down.

      • Quest2011

        Isn’t Brooks from Oklahoma?

        • Ahahaha! Yes, Good point!!!!

        • Norrth

          HA! I forgot that! Poor state of Oklahoma.

  • Birdie11

    Christmas photos, house hunting, a park play date….zzzzzzz. Ok, so at this pace, I could be a real housewife. LOL at Heather’s ‘backstage’ pics…yes, WE KNOW!!! You are a successful, ahem, actress! At least we were spared a weekly update on the Taj Mahal they are building.. I would rather watch their kids scarf oreos. I like Lizzie so far, her toddler punching her in the head definitely wasn’t scripted. I did like Shannon, but her anxiety is starting to overwhelm and suck the fun out of her character. No wonder she drinks like a fish.

    • Hi Birdie! Something is really off with Shannon. I suspect drinking and pill popping may be the culprit. She’s seems so DEEPLY depressed and paranoid. Most likely it stems from a broken marriage. Her and the hubby don’t have a healthy loving marriage. It’s sad to watch and too damn DEEP for my real housewive viewing pleasure.

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        Doc–I also think Shannon is an alcoholic. That’s such a way to hide it–put it in Perrier and it barely has odor or taste. People would mostly think she was drinking bubbly water. I also think she’s popping pills. Probably adderall. She seems hopped up on something.

        • Birdie11

          I didn’t know that about Perrier…interesting…and telling.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            Oh yeah–I have known people who did that. One friend hid her drinking from me for almost 10 years–I had no idea until she went to rehab. She was putting Vodka in her perrier, just like Shannon.

          • Birdie11

            Wow..she was skilled. I hope she’s ok now. Let’s hope that Shannon isn’t another Rambles Richards.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I lost touch with my friend until recently when we caught up on social media. She sounds great–she’s still in recovery, which is good. I had no idea but she said she hid bottles of vodka around her house. She and her husband had such a facade of normalcy you would have never known what was going on–the house, everything–but it all turned out to be smoke and mirrors because her husband was very abusive (not physically but verbally/emotionally) and she was a drunk–all while raising small children. Not good. Shannon seems like she’s far more in control than Dim. She’s got it down to a science–and she drinks enough to mask her pain but not enough to be falling down drunk. She’s a controlled, functioning alcoholic is my guess.

          • Birdie11

            I think those homes exist far more often than we think…it is sad. Yes, she seems to…plus the money sure helps, I would think. You can pay people to help the cover up. Those kids know what’s going on though…you can count on that.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            Exactly, Birdie–kids *always* know what is going on. Saddest for them than anyone else because they didn’t ask to be in that situation. I think her husband may also drink too much. I think their marriage is going to fail. I feel it in my heart–they need counseling. And she needs AA.

      • Birdie11

        Did you notice that scene in her kitchen when she took Heather’s call…she looked 60+ years old…I think you are right.

        • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

          Her hair was a greasy mess!

          • Birdie11

            Make up is her friend!! I suspect she has a whole team keeping up the facade.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I’m sure she does, actually!

        • Yes!! The drinking etc is taking a toll on her and mark my words, she’s on the verge of snapping!!!! And when it happens it’s not going to be a pretty sight.

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            I think so too.

      • Norrth

        Sadly, I think so too. ;( Heather’s comments about Shannon being out of control annoyed the crap out of me. Shannon is so zonked most of the time (or seems to be) that I can’t believe she can walk without falling asleep.

    • Norrth

      I thought I’d written that I was so bored I had to prop my eyes open. Lordy what a borng episode. I’m so sick of Vicki trashing OK and the people there. At least none of them are Brooks!

      • Birdie11

        Ditto…I also hate Brianna and Ryan smirking and joking about tornadoes wiping people and homes out. Hardly funny.

        • Sara

          I’ve lived there and it’s truly not a laughing matter. Ryan and Brianna’s “jokes” were crude.

          • Birdie11

            They really were…insensitive and crass. Hi Sara! Your avi is fun.

          • Sara

            Hi Birdie! Thank you and so is yours. Snoopy and Woodstock are my favorites. I almost fell asleep watching the OC last night.

          • Birdie11

            I know! I said in my comment above that I could be a real housewife with that much excitement. Snooooooozzzzzze.

          • Sara

            Same here. At least we would make the viewing audience laugh.

          • Birdie11

            Yes! I did laugh when Lizzie’s son punched her in the head. That was funny..(:

          • Sara

            I agree. Actually the highlight of the whole show.

  • SAMRA1116

    Excellent recap — Vickie is disgusting — the OC is not for everyone.
    Brianna deserves to be happy without you harping all the time..
    Vickie all this control has taken a horrible toll on your face, honestly Vickie was cute when the show started. Now her face is like a rode map.

    • Norrth

      What kind of parent wants her daughter to leave her husband behind just to keep her company? Vicki has never had a successful marriage. if she really likes Ryan, you would think she would want that for Brianna.

      • SAMRA1116

        I don’t thinks she really likes Ryan, she tolerates him because of Brianna.
        There is no hope for Vickie, she’s in her own world and she loves it.

    • LoLo

      I get what you’re saying but as my sons have grown up, I know they may move away. I don’t act like Vickie but I do know I will be hurt when & if they leave. I get her pain. She’s always been super close to Brianna & then the baby lived with her so moving so far is hard. I don’t think she wants her daughter to be unhappy, she will miss her & is scared for her. Even when your kids are grown you still worry about them or not being able to be there if needed. I’m not a fan of Vickie but I think she is really honestly sad about Brianna.

      • SAMRA1116

        I have adult twins, as a parent it’s always hard when they move away.
        My son left for 5 years, I was sad, but I was also happy for him. I raised my kids to spread their wings, change is good n bad etc no family. We are just a phone call away– love hurts sometime—but it doesn’t last long.

        • LoLo

          I’m not a fan of Vicki but I do see her pain. I do think she wants Brianna to be happy & what’s best for her & I think she feels being closer is better as she can be there to help especially when Ryan is gone. I know parents have to let their kids make their own decisions but I know I would feel sad & happy at the same time. I would be more upset about not getting to see my grandbaby whenever I wanted.

  • SAMRA1116

    Let’s not forget about Ms. Heather —-she surely can change a story, to be the victim ..
    She been gunning foe Shannon, since day one.
    No one is perfect—no one needs to be scowled like your child
    Your perception was not what was shown. Kick rocks, no one wants to hear your long winded stories.

    • Exactly! Heather is full of shit and only sees every situation from the standpoint of the victim.

  • LoLo

    I’m not defending Heather but Shannon said something like “what I’ve heard from the other girls when they’ve had to talk to Heather, they don’t get anywhere”. So she already went with the anticipation of it not going well. Tamra & Vicky really didn’t let Shannon make her own opinions.