Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: ‘Throwdown at the Hoedown’ [Episode 6]

Posted on May 27 2014 - 3:28am by Norrth Cafe

 

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The holiday is at a close. My guests are gone (and not one of those dirty bastards offered to help with the dishes, but I still love them).  I am ending my day watching RHOC which means that I need to rethink my life.  We open with Terry coming home to hear Heather’s recount of the musical chairs at dinner, in front of their children as she again claims that she is afraid of Shannon.  Terry thinks that Shannon must be scary no matter how nice she claims to be. What the hell is Shannon Beador going to do?  Put cracked crystals in the foundation of the Dubrow’s new home? Feng Shui them into a weekend of disharmony? Bite me, with that garbage, Dubrows. Heather isn’t too afraid to invite Shannon to the hoedown. Terry takes what feels like a cheap shot and notes that Shannon becomes “unplugged” when she drinks and wonders if it will happen at the hoedown. Lovely.

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Shannon arrives at a country shop to buy for the hoedown and to discuss chairgate with Vicki (who is on her “Izzy,”“Lizzie,” “Izzy” kick)   Shannon tells Vicki she is wrong, especially when she likens “Lizzie” to being a lizard-like name.  At the Dubrows, Terry wonders if Vicki is intimidated by Lizzie.  Heather thinks that Vicki is insecure around a smart, pretty, woman. I smell a proxy fight coming on with the Dubrows cozying up to Lizzie.

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Brianna and baby Troy stop at Vicki’s office with lunch. Brianna invites Vicki to Oklahoma to help her find a house. Vicki replies in a TH that she’d rather have a root canal.  Vicki asks Brianna to buy a house in OC, as if Ryan has an option of choosing where the Marine Corps will send him. Brianna drops a passive aggressive line about the houses they’re looking at being new because they are in an area devastated by tornadoes, earlier.  This comes after Vicki’s comments about getting diarrhea thanks to Brianna’s various life choices (getting engaged/married without telling her, moving away, etc).  Not cool, Brianna, not cool. Vicki is not pleased by the tornado news and offers to give Ryan a job selling insurance – again, contract with Uncle Sam.  Does that mean anything to her?). Brianna tells her mother that she doesn’t get to tell Ryan what to do with his career and that this is their choice.  The choice I would have made is to not bring Vicki along – yes, if I needed a down payment, or wanted mommy to buy the house outright before Brooks spent all of her money, or if I needed to furnish it. Otherwise? Nah.

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The Dubrows are dressed for the hoedown. They show up at “Dubrow Ranch” as the preparations continue (I love Heather’s boots). Heather surprises Terry with his likeness printed on a “Most Wanted” poster. He is the “Onion Ring Bandit.” New neighbors and old friends begin to arrive. Terry comments on the famous new neighbors. Tamra and Eddie are first of the OC gang to arrive. Heather shows them the model and asks them to write a note for the foundation. Lizzie follows – in a TH Lizzie notes that Heather lives on the highest plot on the highest piece of land and that everyone is right, she is literally looking down on them – she jokingly states that she is a little jealous.

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Tamra warns Lizzie that Vicki isn’t use to people standing up to her and Lizzie thinks it is odd that Vicki’s good friend would make this comment. Lizzie is insightful and a whirlwind on the dance floor.

Heather finds a reason to be unhappy at her successful hoedown. Shannon and Vicki are not yet there even though the invitation reads “high noon.Shannon, in particular, bothers her (not because of chairgate, no, because Heather told us that she doesn’t hold grudges <wink>). Shannon upsets her because she lives just down the road. She wants to begin the ceremony.  Tams give the line of the evening. She wants to know what’s up with rich people burying “sh–” in their houses.  What is she supposed to write, “I’m so happy that you’re rich and you’re building a big goddamned house, oooh, lucky you! Bury this!?”  She thinks they’re all crazy.  F’love that crap!

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The ceremony begins.  There is a speech and a round of thanks to those who wrote notes.  The family breaks ground, together, using shovels. Vicki and Shannon, along with her family, arrive as the groundbreaking begins.Vicki thinks that seeing the family onstage together means they have arrived just in time. They seek Tamra out and Vicki greets Lizzie with a friendly embrace, as well.  She of course goofs and says “good to meet you” in response to Lizzie saying “good to see you.”  Vicki finds it hilarious. I’m just glad there was no intentional snub.

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We find out that Shannon was late because David coaches basketball for the girls.  If the Dubrows aren’t the bitchiest people in reality tv, PLEASE don’t tell me who tops the list.  This is not entertaining. I can get a daily dose of bitchiness without ever leaving home, or just by picking up the phone. Heather thinks Shannon should have brought it up sooner (not a bad argument).  In a TH, Heather states that lateness is a sign of not caring, despite that fact that the Beadors bothered to come after a long day. Vicki’s excuse?  None.  She “buys” David a beer. Terry wants to dish out a little housewife medicine and plans to be late to parties thrown by the other wives.  Damn you, Terry, damn you and your brass knuckle tactics. Zzzzzzzzzzzz – yeah, I borrowed that one from Vicki.

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Vick and David are at the bar when “Meghan” (fiancée of Jim Edmonds) joins them.  She is quickly followed by Shannon.  Shannon is taken aback by David drinking shots in the afternoon, something she says he never does.  She feels left out, noting that her husband is drinking with Vicki and some woman but is not offering her a drink – she already ordered one when she walked up.  Shannon is questioning Vicki when Vicki, in a TH, notes that she understands Shannon’s concerns that her hot husband is having drinks with two hot babes (let that sink in, people) but doesn’t introduce her to the one she doesn’t know. David doesn’t seem to notice that Vicki and Shannon have walked back a bit until Meghan walks away. Shannon schools him on the error of his ways (failing to introduce her to Meghan as his wife – he agrees he was wrong).

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What else happened?

  • Heather makes a big deal of feeding Terry onion rings, saying she’s learned her lesson.
  • Shannon thinks Lizzie and Danielle are missing.  They are elsewhere, discussing Vicki’s odd greeting.
  • Heather wankers on about Shannon being late and tells her that they held the ceremony until they arrived.
  • Shannon is unhappy with being openly humiliated by Heather and cries to Vicki. Shannon learns that Danielle wasn’t reprimanded for being late and neither was Vicki.

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Heather pretends, while talking with Tamra, that Terry has independently noticed the way the women have behaved.  She offends Tamra when, after hearing that Shannon feels that Heather thinks they aren’t part of the same community and that she looks down on her, Heather responds that literally speaking, they are looking down on Shannon… nice.  She must have pulled that line from her “Mean Girls” manual.  Tamra tells her to stop making those sorts of comments.

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Vicki admits to being rude and makes nice with Lizzie. They agree to start over (though in a TH, Lizzie is not so forgiving.) It may have something to do with Vicki bringing up her nationality, again.

Vicki tries to broker a peace for Shannon. Heather yammers again about chairgate.Vicki pretends to snooze. Heather leaves. Tamra scolds and wants Vicki to stop, though she admits she thinks it is hilarious.  Heather goes to Terry and gets teary eyed telling him about her prior conversation. Shannon decides she’s not going to fight with anyone at Heather’s party, not even Heather.

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Terry gets in Tamra and Vicki’s faces about not supporting Heather. Vicki gives him a zzzzzz… F’love.

Heather invites all women on the floor for a square dance. Heather tells Vicki she’s not talking to her. Lizzie loves the dancing because no one is talking.

Eddie rides the mechanical bull and Tams comments that he could definitely be one of the village people. Lizzie rides next and holds on for a while.  Shannon follows.  She says she has a strong core – flabby on the outside, strong on the inside. Heather rides – and wants to stop. In her words, she’s not a “hoe” even if it’s a “hoedown.” Though she got on the bull, she doesn’t want to fall and show anything. Zzzzzzzzzzz ….she shouldn’t want to show her goods on TV, but why get on the bull at all?

Tams gets on. Heather tells the person at the controls to turn it up. Terry says “ turn it way up.” Tamra falls and thinks she’s broken her arm. Heather jokes about being sued – not to worry, they have insurance. Well that’s a nice memory for the new home.

Tamra, on the way to Urgent Care, comments that she was a “hoe” down, and while there wonders why the technician turned the bull up. Luckily, she has bruising and no broken bones.

We end with the Dubrows talking about their happiness.

About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well.

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  • Birdie11

    Great recap. This party looked like marginal fun at best….the food looked great, hopefully it was worth walking around in glaring sun in dumb costumes. Between Heather’s anxious perfectionism, and her embarrassing outfit, she was hard to watch. Someone needs to break it to her that not everyone is planning their life around watching her family dig a hole. Her frantic desire to have everyone’s undivided attention on the official start of apparently the most extravagant house ever built, was obnoxious and self absorbed.

    • Norrth

      Thanks, Birdie. I couldn’t see much else to do besides walk around getting dusty and drinking. I wonder how the neighbors who weren’t famous felt watching Terry go giddy at naming off the neighbors who were. I’m surprised Terry does not keep an autograph book with him – or does he expect them to want his autograph?

  • SAMRA1116

    Heather true colors are showing. She did that to Tamra on purpose, then said to fire the man. She doesn’t own anything, no one is perfect. She thinks everything is a show or production, I’m sick of her saying career, what career, she gets a few bit spots on a shown. Terry needs to tell her STFU.

    • Birdie11

      Terry is right there with her…he never challenges her, unless it’s about his silly onion rings.

      • SAMRA1116

        He’s afraid of her, she will cut him off in a NY minute. Everything is a production. When she said I cry at this point. I fell out laughing. She’s crazy.

    • Norrth

      Kinda sad that they would pin everything on some guy who probably works by the hour. Someone in editing wanted to make it clear that Heather and Terry wanted to see Tamra fall, maybe not get hurt, but they wanted her to bite it, from the way they handled the whole thing.

      • SAMRA1116

        Fire the poor man—-she clearly said to speedit up
        Couldn’t happen to a better person. LOL
        Too bad it was broke —-just to hear Tamra cry n moan

  • Excellent recap Norrth. Last night’s episode was pretty entertaining. Heather is an uppity bitch that needs to take the stick out of her ass and RELAX! I felt bad for Shannon last night, she really appeared troubled by Heather calling out her lateness. The hoedown looked like a well put together event, I don’t understand why Heather couldn’t just enjoy the day. All the name dropping by Terry was nauseating. Brianna really needs to seek Jesus and Jenny Craig. I can’t with her. She’s a bitter unhappy woman who hates her mother. It’s sad to watch the scenes with her and Vicki.

    • Birdie11

      OH BOOM Suessie!! You went there with Brianna and the poundage! Preach it!

      • Hi sweet Birdie! That pic in the recap of Brianna (WTF) why does a YOUNG married woman carry herself like that? I hate to see her in her older years…YIKES! I loved David’s comment about his girls free throws!!

        I noticed something last night. I think David may have a little *suga* in his tank. He seemed attracted to Eddie, even slapping him on his ass. I thought his comment about Eddie’s tight jeans was not only inappropriate but a bit suspect. Did anyone else notice this?

        • Birdie11

          Ryan seems like the type of guy who likes big girls…I’ll bet he has a problem with any guy looking at her, so he doesn’t discourage her being huge. She’s going to be pooped chasing 2 kids like that. Hmmm…I did notice it as an odd comment, and I’ll tell you one thing..Eddie is looking gayer with every passing episode.

          • Yaaaaaaaaaaaass!!! David even slapped Eddie on the ass.
            Did you see how Eddie rode that mechanical bull? Chile!!!!!

    • SAMRA1116

      Hey Dr. Both of them deserve each other—-they’re both sickening in a disgusting way.. They both like to one up others. Pretentious they are just that.

      • Hi Samra!! Say that, girl. Two phoney baloney’s, two peas in a pod. I still think Heather looks like an owl with her sunken eye sockets.

        • Birdie11

          Filming in the bright sun didn’t do her any favors!

          • LOL—it sure didn’t. I did like Heather’s “hoity-tioty” country western outfit especially the necklace. Heather just reeks of pretentious dud!

          • Birdie11

            That outfit was HORRIBLE!!!

          • Ahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really liked the necklace.

          • Birdie11

            We hardly EVER disagree…this is a sad moment!!

        • SAMRA1116

          She does look like an owl. I couldn’t figure out what animal, she reminds me of. Good call. LOL

          • She’s a scary thang ain’t she Samra? LOL!

          • SAMRA1116

            Her eyes n cheeks are horrible.

    • Norrth

      Thanks, Doc. Heather really stepped over the line to try to make Shannon look like a bad person in front of everyone. How is it possible for Vicki and Shannon to hold up her ceremony? They mattered more than her children and everyone else, already there and on time? Puh leeze, lady.

  • Samh09

    I would like to point out to the writer of this article is that it is The Onion Ring Bandit, not The Orion Ring bandit. I do not know where you pulled The Orion Ring bandit from. I mean “Holy cow!”
    My other comment has to do with David Beador. Shannon said David does not normally drink shots in the afternoon, in addition to that, he never has a second cup of coffee at home either. Bud-dah bum.

    • SAMRA1116

      Looks like he does more than shots in the afternoon. It was rude to not introduce his wife, to the other woman. But when Vickie said he was drinking with two cute women.
      Laughing out Loug Vicki skin look like worn out leather, she’s not pretty at all. She wish

      • Norrth

        I think that’s how Brooks keeps her on his side. He compliments her look. The way she looked at him when he told her that he thought she was beautiful was sad, to me Vicki is accomplished and not a monster. Why does she need to hear she’s beautiful?

    • Hi Samh09….Seems like Shannon may not know David as well as she thought. I see divorce on the horizon for these two. They’ve already put their home on the market. The telltale signs are there.

      • Samh09

        I was trying to make a joke. But oh well! By the looks of things, I have some major fine tuning to do.

        • Oh my bad. LOL!

          • Samh09

            Yes, the second cup of coffee reference was from a Yuban commercial from a long time ago. Then they used the same line it in the movie “Airplane.”

    • Norrth

      Hee hee, perfectionist Heather, I get it. Love that. OMGosh. She won’t let me gaze that the wonderment that is her porte-cochère if I make another error! Shame on me.

  • Dani-K

    I thought it was interesting that Heather said to turn the bull up, and then when Tamra falls, says, who told the guy to turn the bull up? Not classy, Heather!

    • Ahahahaha! That was too funny. After Tams fell, Heather even told Terry “fire that guy!” Heather’s phoney is comical.

    • Norrth

      I was surprised at Terry and Heather. What kind of people are they? I agree that Heather is unintentionally hilarious.