Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: ‘Pretty Ugly’ [Episode 4]

Posted on May 6 2014 - 1:44am by Norrth Cafe

 

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If Vicki complains about being all alone in her home one more time I will SCREAM < —yup, just like that.  I get that Vicki doesn’t want to be alone. She probably annoys herself as much as she annoys me, but there’s a point at which not being able to be alone could be an indication of something else, right? Maybe? Whatever it is or could be, her loneliness has led her to redecorate her office and “joke” that her employees should go home at 2am and return by 6am. My guess is that they don’t because they have lives, families, and happiness. Just.Stop.Please.

David and Shannon are spending time alone at the St. Regis – the site of the Judge wedding. David jokes about a white noise machine he carries to drown out Shannon’s snoring.  She flips.  Yes, a bellman she’ll probably never see again won’t realize that it’s David who snores, not her.  She has to make sure he knows that David is the one who snores. Party host Shannon? AWESOME.  Romantic getaway Shannon?  Nightmare.  I hope they tipped that guy well.

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Eddie and TAMRAH are getting ready for the ugly sweater party to benefit a local Children’s Hospital. At the same time Heather and Terry are joking about Eddie and Tamra, with Terry commenting that Eddie’s sweater will be skin tight with bulging muscles (man crush-cute). Eddie thinks his sweater looks like something he wore in high school – when her probably didn’t date much if that sweater reminds him of anything he wore, ever. Heather and Terry begin discussing last week’s  lunch with Tamra, while Eddie and Tamra are discussing it as well. There are, surprisingly, no exaggerations, both seem to be consistent with one small exception.

Heather comments that she told Tams her other friends love her so either love her or move on. I don’t recall her saying that but if she did, something tells me that Tamra will rue the day she didn’t take her up on that offer.

David and Shannon are still at the St. Regis sitting on a plush bed, drinking big stinking bloody marys, and wearing cotton robes. Shannon complains about the last time David took her away – he took her to a football game as if she were an afterthought. Does that woman ever enjoy the moment she’s in?  I’ll bet past life Shannon was more fun.

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Lizzie, our other new HW, shows up to the ugly sweater party with her husband, Christian. Lizzie is friends with the third new wife, Danielle (the woman who invited Tamra to the fundraiser in the last episode).  Don’t ask me why, but I like them. They look like real people.  Lizzie takes a tumble walking through the door. She attributes the fall to her pageant queen history where falls are common. I like that she can poke fun at herself.  On the other hand, Tams cannot. She whines about the “ugly sweater” party and says that she can’t stand ugly things or people. So… it’s wrong for me to comment on her personality, right?

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Tamra and Eddie meet Danielle’s husband, Joe (she calls him Joey) – who is wearing a woman’s size small ugly sweater.  More than I needed to know. Tamra wishes they were at a “pretty sweater party.” Later, Lizzie and Tamra meet and get along well.  What a coinkydink!  Lizzie was at CutFitness the week before, taking class from Eddie.  What?  Totally organic that Lizzie took his class, and her friend Danielle drops in to invite them to an ugly sweater party and they are ALL taping together for the show this season.  It’s as organic as polyester.

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Lizzie and Tamra find out they are neighbors and begin pledging friendship when the buzzkill couple (Heather and Terry) shows up. Heather blah blahs some offensive, obnoxious, obscure crap about not liking what the HOST is planning to do with the champagne she brought to the party.  She follows it up with a barely veiled reference to Lizzie’s large breasts. Heather reads as increasingly socially awkward.

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I would still rather watch a 12 hour blooper reel of Heather and Terry than the next couple of scenes:

Vicki and Brooks are at dinner, talking about her love tank and more Brianna-blame.  There is also Shannon needing booze to get in bed with her husband.  I’m pretty sure Brooks is a safe bet if Vicki walks away. Who wants that ant at a picnic? David?  He could probably find a dozen people who’d take him as he is before he hit the lobby.  There has to be something going on because Shannon appears to be completely freaked out by his touch.

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At least Brooks admits what Vicki seemed to deny during a prior episode. He admits he made the disgusting comments we heard last season, but claims that he’s never hit a woman himself. Vicki is hiding him to avoid backlash from the other women, and Brooks has no interest being around her friends. Vicki loves him, thinks he’s sexy, and that he’s thebombdotcom. In a low voice, she asks him if he’s being a good boy. He tells her she is stunningly attractive (I think I hear the restaurant patrons gagging).  This segment should have had a barf bag rating!

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David jokes (I hope) about Shannon getting breast implants which she thinks sends a horrible message to their daughters (and I love her again). She tells him she’ll get implants when he gets a penile implant. (BOOM)  He treats it as a joke and seems thrilled at the thought and claims he has an appointment scheduled so she can make her appointment to get her breasts “firmed up”.  Just as fast as you’re up with this couple, you’re back down again. They have a conversation about Shannon feeling like she’s not a priority and he tells her that she has never been a chore he loves her (and I’m back up).

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DAMN! Someone should have warned Lizzie not to tell Heather she was an actress. It seems that Lizzie knows because she holds back when talking about acting. Lizzie quickly follows up with a cute romantic story about her 11 year relationship with Christian (married 4 of those) and interestingly enough, Heather likes her and sees a depth to Lizzie.  I love it!  Heather, Lizzie, Tamra, and Danielle talk about the trials and tribulations of motherhood and it’s just cute and funny. Heather uses a word Tamra doesn’t know: “Amalgam”  and the good times end.  Lizzie, in a TH, not only repeats the word, but uses it in a sentence. Heather’s TH is used to mock Tamra’s ignorance and I kinda’ dig it… At some point Tamra just has to either read more, carry a dictionary and a thesaurus, or shut up and nod and pretend she knows what the hell is going on instead of confronting Heather every time she uses a word Tamra can’t spell or pronounce.

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Terry and Heather win for ugliest couples sweater, if it matters.

Lizzie is preparing for a photo shoot (she owns a swimwear company). Christian is a full partner in their marriage, taking care of the children, two boys, while she works. We find that she was born in the OC, moved to a horse farm in KY as a child, and  her parents required her to get a college degree before being allowed to go to LA to pursue acting. She chose fashion and merchandising. Lizzie was the high school Valedictorian and her father is a Physicist working at Harvard.  When she married Christian he didn’t want to move to L.A. so she gave up her acting career.  Unlike someone else, she doesn’t pretend she walked away from a red hot career. I don’t yet know Danielle’s story, but so far Lizzie and non-argumentative Shannon are a WIN. What I like best about Lizzie? She doesn’t model her line.  She thinks it’s amateurish and wants to focus on promoting the line.

Tams and Eddie are at dinner and the evening is relaxed until the wombfire discussion begins. Eddie wants no children – he feels that he doesn’t have time to raise children. If they have one, he thinks that Tams should do most of the work, he’ll be busy. Given the fact that she’s recently said that their business is just breaking even and she’s up at 4am I get his point.  Tams “botox cries” about having a baby no one can take from her – not Simon and certainly not take from her 50% of the time.  I don’t think she realizes that Eddie could do the same if anything happened.  This conversation has taken a quick turn for the worst.

Thank goodness the show ends there.

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About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well. ♦ Norrth Cafe's BlogTwitterFacebook

  • nan/4

    Okay. Here’s where everyone turns against me. I have a tendency to like the people that everyone else can’t stand. I happen to like Heather. She can be a bit snooty at times, and was wrong to speak to Tamra’s fake husband about her wanting a kid with him (yeah, right) At least Heather’s brain cells are functioning. I can’t say that for the rest of them. That’s for sure!

    JMO folks. Please be kind…..lol 😉

    • Norrth

      LOL, Tamra’s fake husband! I get why people like Heather, especially every time Vicki and Tamra get together.

      • nan/4

        Thanks for being so kind Norrth. Nice to “meet” you! 🙂

        • Norrth

          It’s good to meet you, too, Nan. All opinions are welcome. I love seeing the OC women from different perspectives. Thanks for sharing that.

      • SAMRA1116

        I always called him Edwina, I thought for sure, he was sleeping with Ryan..
        LOL I’m sick, but that’s what it look like to me…

    • SAMRA1116

      Me too—I root for the underdog it they deserve it. I like to stick to my opinion..
      we all have them.. Heather is the way she is, shes the same way at home,,
      she not acting one way, then another way.. Some ppl don’t like public drunkness and acting a damn fool. we all have funny and shitty ways.. LOL

      • nan/4

        I certainly have my fair share of funny and shiity ways too, Samra! lol

        Be well…;-)

        • SAMRA1116

          I’m not ashamed to let u know straight up—I’m an alpha female—I don’t like bullshit and bitching—my main thing with some women are—you want and so call need all these things—husband works 12-18 hrs a da. How in the hell is he going to be all bubbly, get home and they start u don’t spend no time with me… Hell hes working for all the things you say you need… things, clothes–all the blazing glory—in the end where is your relationship—there is none—-live within your budget–don’t worry about what other have—-its only things—its not love or affection…
          Can clothes, shoes, diamonds and the rest—comfort and talk to you..
          SMDH
          if it ever got to the point, that we lost everything—-we always said, we can live in one room—as long as we have each other…

          • nan/4

            Amen to that! 🙂

    • Birdie11

      I like Heather OK…she bugs me off and on, but I appreciate the smarts. It’s nice to see REAL wealth, without the pretentious bragging about meaningless jewelry and handbags.

      • nan/4

        Thanks Birdie!

        Have a good one, honey! 🙂

        • Birdie11

          You have a great Tuesday Nan! 😀

  • nan/4

    Speaking for myself, I need at least 2 six-packs just to be able to KISS my husband……JUST KIDDING! hehe

  • ZammyB

    So I LOVES the new Housewife! She’s beautiful like Alexis but doesn’t just exercise and shop! I love that she’s super smart and seems to have her house in order. Her hubby is a hottie and her kids are adorable. She also didn’t need to try on the swimsuits a la Ghalichi. Her being fully clothed and in charge is a lot more important than being in front of the camera.Next week she goes head to head with VG and it seems like she isn’t going to back down! YEYYY!
    Tamra always LOVES the new housewives, but it seems she always does. It’s like she creates a false sense of security for them before she pounces on them. If you don’t believe me watch her talk about Alexis, Shannon, Heather. It seems she’s awed by the material things they possess or is even awed by the size of the implants (a la Alexis) they have. I think she hated Gretchen bc Gretchen was prettier and younger than her. Also, it’s kind of sad she’s pushing Eddie into something he’s clearly not ready for. Also, I don’t know WHY but why is it he sets off my gaydar (which honestly, isn’t very good). Another one of the hubbys at the party did the same thing. The one with the small female sweater. The other thing its like dear OLD Tammy Sue is happy being ignorant or not knowing the meanings of words. It’s like she’s playing up her past or its OK to want to get trashed constantly and WHOOP it up but its NOT OK to be an intelligent female with a large vocabulary! That is WHY I’ve never been a Tamra fan and why she’s blocked me on twitter. Hehehe

    Also, to the writers, I beg of you: NEVER use a Crooks pic again! Just seeing him makes me throw up in my mouth. What a scum bucket he is. Drunk men shouldn’t be excused. It was in his heart so he said what he said. What baffles me is that VG seems to think its OK to make such comments. I betcha if it was Ryan, she would be begging Bri to dump him.
    Oh how I love Bri! She’s smart, beautiful and seems to handle being on the show with such grace. In that sense, VG did a great job of raising her.

    Shannon, the other wife BORES me. Even her voice is annoying. It’s like they found a younger, married VG. I don’t like her.

    Lastly, I wasn’t a huge Heather fan, but she’s growing on me this season. I like that she’s smart and is standing up for herself and doing it in a gracious manner. Fancy pants doesn’t need to throw wine or act like an idiot. I like her this season.

    • nan/4

      ITA with everything you posted, Zammy Z! Bloop! 😉

      • ZammyB

        Great! 🙂 As they say great minds think alike! 🙂

    • SAMRA1116

      the thing that made me sick with Alexis is always bragging about something…
      she and Jim are crooks—grifters—moving from house to house—leasing and not always paying their bills… Why do these crooks get on tv. knowing anything they every did, when be published in some rag magazine.. SMDH

  • SAMRA1116

    Tamra need another baby, like I need need breast..too big already..
    so sick of these women wanting babies, tamra need to take care of the ones she has…
    Vickie need everything crooksmarks is going to give her.. Hes going to bleed her ugly messed up face dry to the bones. Boy he must be swinging the rod tight—this woman is sickening, don’t like Vickie one bit. Vickie don’t practice what she preaches—telling the other women how to take a mans money..but this sliver no tongue is bleeding her dry to the hollow bones she look likes. I hate to see mature women, trying to dress like they are 25yr old.. my head cant wrap around this… No way I will dress, like my daughter—they need to be beat out of the OC..
    Then those two have the nerves to talk about other. Didn’t Vickie get a face lift—it didn’t work she looks worse, than before…..

  • SAMRA1116

    also Lizzie messed up her face bigtime—she was so beautiful—my goodness I cant see why
    all the young women with botox and face stretched–ur skin is already tight—plastic surgery was for 50yrs or older…..

  • Sara

    It baffles me that Vicki can still have all of this “love” for Brooks when every person in her life is telling her what a smarmy creep he is! Wake up Vicki, the majority usually isn’t wrong!

  • Birdie11

    I am loving Shannon…she’s quirky and seems honest and open so far. I’m hoping the new girl livens things up, because so far, the show is a bit of a snoozer. Brooks is gross, I almost barfed when Vicki said he was sexy. BLECH!

    • SAMRA1116

      I said sexy — he looks like the walking dead.
      He’s a disgusting southern schemer — she was complaining about paying Donn off.
      Well this southern pimp is a crook. Jmo

    • ZammyB

      I agree with every word on Crooks. Shannon isn’t my fav. I think she’s a hot mess.

      • Birdie11

        She probably is…but at least we see an honest depiction (I think). At least she’s not the same old pretentious, hidden, hot mess trying to convince us how together she is. That bugs me much more. I think she brings a nice contrast so far…but time will tell.

    • Sara

      I’m liking Shannon. She’s the one that provides the entertainment on the show with her quirky mannerisms.

      • Birdie11

        Quirky is so much more colorful and interesting!!

        • Sara

          Agreed!

        • nan/4

          She is quirky, but when Dr. Moon put what looked like a game spinner in her bellybutton, and then magnetized her by pressing his finger in to her palm, my mouth dropped open……literally! She does this three times a week? Okaaaay…… lol 😉

          • Birdie11

            HAHAHA!! Ok…quirky edging into CRAZY!! I actually think she has some serious anxiety issues. /-:

  • Tre’s Twits aren’t Angelic

    I’ve got one question…Does Brooks get paid to be on camera and make anyone who see’s him (his fugly mug – I didn’t want to say it but I went ahead and said it anyway) have to then clean up the mess on the floor from us having to throw up?

    It’s got be more than enough to have to look at Bicki Vicki, much less to look at that wanker!

  • Tre’s Twits aren’t Angelic

    I have to say, I came up with something else that’s stupid.
    Howz about someone puts a bleached blonde funky wig on Brooks and take a pic. Now put that pic next to a pic of Bicki Vicki. I’m thinkin’ these two could both be Vicki.
    Now, isn’t that a horrid thought?!?

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