Real Housewives of New York Recap: ‘Fireworks’ [Episode 7]

Posted on Apr 23 2014 - 5:11am by Norrth Cafe

 

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We open with a scene of Ramona, who has decided that she doesn’t want Avery to be lonely while away at college so she hires 2 photographers to take pictures of her and their furbaby Coco. Ramona wants to give Avery a calendar to keep on the wall in her dorm room. For Avery’s sake I hope it’s a 12 month and not a 16 month calendar. I don’t know how many college students want a calendar of their parents but, still, it was a thoughtful thing for Ramona to do. Any takers on a bet as to whether Avery leaves it in a drawer until parents weekend? All things Kanye! The photographers brought a lot of clothes for Coco. Ramona brings up Kristen – stating that Kristen is not the only mommy who models…biting my tongue. Never change, Lady R, never change.

It’s all good fun until Sonja arrives with her furbaby. She is taking a break from the team of lawyers who are seeing her through the bankruptcy process. As awful as it has to be, Sonja is optimistic that she will land on her feet and keep her home. Read the update on Sonja’s home here. Hopefully her other business ventures will pan out.

Last week, I would have been willing to sell Heather for a penny and demand change. This week I completely feel for her. Her 8-year old son, Jax, has conductive hearing loss and may be able to have some level of hearing restored – no guarantees. That child is a survivor and has also battled a rare liver disease which required a transplant, food allergies and chronic lung disease. Heather wants to be able to ” fix” at least one thing for him and hopes they learn he is a good candidate for the surgery. The little guy will be in my thoughts and prayers.

RHONY

Kristen, Aviva, and their children meet up at ” Make” for a play date. Aviva is offended when Kristen makes the eyes of a fish bulge in describing Ramona’s reactions to news she dislikes. Kristen brings up the group division. I cringe. Aviva wants to keep things non-hostile in front of the children….and then tells her to shut the fuck up in front of the kiddos when Kristen brings up the book issue. I would rather become a Kardashian than hear about that damned book fight again. Ultimately, I don’t think Aviva is wrong for wanting Kristen to stay neutral if that’s what she says she is going to do. Aviva is just going about it the wrong way. Kristen lands a blow telling Aviva that everyone told her (k) that she (a) was crazy but she (k) defended her and now she’s seeing what they were all talking about. It’s disheartening that these women are fighting as (other people’s) children are running through the room. Eventually Aviva apologizes and Kristen accepts – no punches thrown or hair pulled.

RHONY

Heather and her family are at the East Hamptons for fun in the sun and to celebrate the 4th of July. Carole arrives. Jonathan cracks a joke about fireworks between Aviva and Heather. Carole joins in with her own PTSD reactions. Hallelujah! Even Heather sees it is obsessive and that it’s time for Carole to move on. We find out that Heather is waiting to hear from the doctor that very day. Something worth focusing on.

Countess LuAnn and her David Schwimmer clone, Jacques, are playing tennis with Ramona and Mario at their Hamptons home. I can’t help but wondering if LuAnn wouldn’t be in heaven at a celeb look alike convention. They are later joined by Kristen and Josh. More #richpeoplesproblems. Kristen offends by wearing track shoes to the tennis court. WHAT? No classless attacks using phrases like “escapee from whore island”? I love housewives with real money! Well, I was loving them until the party boycott talk started. Kristen’s tennis outfit looks like a cheerleading outfit and she is taking it to heart I guess! She picked the wrong one – Ramona has no “cheer fear” and shuts her down. The point goes to the Singer stinger.

RHONY

Ramona’s caterer makes me want to be her friend. The group is arriving for dinner. Sonja is not a fan of the new Singer wines – ruh roh. Shade but no punches. Instead, Ramona pulls Kristen aside to let her know she is still upset with her. Heather defends Carole. Kristen defends her old friend Heather. Ramona wants to know who is coming after her to defend Kristen in the chain….ZING! Kristen says she can defend herself. Ramona tells Kristen to stay out of her business.

RHONY

Heather and Carole arrive and Carole starts in immediately on Aviva issues. I am pretty sure there is a pill and an app for that. Heather jokingly confronts Ramona on missing her party. Ramona reminds Heather that she asked her to attend a party when she had not yet made up with Aviva. After cross charges of hypocrisy, they hug it out. Ramona wants everyone to get the sticks out of their asses and enjoy the July 4th weekend. She and Heather join Mario and another man and the discussion turns to cheating and golf. Mario says the best cheaters don’t get caught. Ramona turns and gives what I think is a knowing and disgusted glance.

Ramona and Sonja talk and Ramona crosses the line with her raw and emotionally fragile friend. Ramona wants Sonja to focus on fewer projects and make a success of one of them – but most definitely not the burlesque stuff, sharing some unkind comments she heard about the show. Sonja counters that she has been working her way since she was 14 and amassed a fortune that way. Sonja is offended when Lu adds that the act could had more polish. I was thinking that Lu’s albums could have used a little more auto-tune – or cowbell. MORE COWBELL! (Damn you Will Farrell). Seemingly hurt, Sonja walks away. In her TH Sonja quips that she could have married better and chosen better friends. She tells Ramona that she is leaving for better parties with more interesting people – kinder friends.

Sonja talks about the fact that she supports herself on her own – no money from her ex. by way of a divorce settlement. We learn that Sonja’s catering company helps her make enough to keep going and help her pay for the five story townhouse. Aviva tries to keep the peace. Sonja doesn’t want to hear it and thinks Ramona couldn’t survive a day living her life. I haven’t always appreciated, Sonja, until now. For however long it lasts, they have made up. No happy ending for LuMannSonja calls her. She reminds the Countess that she never commented on her flops. As Lu and Jacques leave, Sonja refers to her as a drag queen… sorry, no, my girls on Ru Paul’s Drag Race would eat her alive.

RHONY

We end with Carole recording the audio version of her book and then scenes of the group on the beach waiting for fireworks to begin. Aviva wants to talk and work things out. Another scene that starts with daylight and ends with the evening sky as a backdrop. Carole is not having it. She gives serious angry bitchface and shoots down every attempt at reconciliation. I am actually stunned at how badly things are going. Whether she is serious or pulling the best chess move this franchise has seen, Aviva tells Carole how much she enjoyed reading her new book – which only industry insiders have acess to. BAM……Aviva pulls it from her bag like SHE gave birth to it! I swear I think I heard Carole gasp but it could have been me. Carole’s TH response is that she couldn’t have read it, the spine isn’t even cracked. I am slayed!!!!!!!!

RHONY

In the movie version, Carole and Aviva will be played by Bette Davis and Joan Crawford look alikes….and Countess LuAnn will be in her glory!

About the Author

I’m an exasperated soap fan who keeps hanging on – waiting for the daytime I once loved to return to its former glory! Hey, it doesn’t hurt to have a dream. I learned to love soaps thanks to my wonderful mother and grandmother. I’ll always have fond memories of daytime, most especially of ‘Another World’, my first stoap love. The ever great, but sadly defunct, daytime shows like Ryan’s Hope, Search for Tomorrow, The Doctors, Loving, and many others keep a special place in my heart, as well.

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  • cutie pie

    vivvy’s ploy to sell her ‘memoir’ backfired big time…who wants to read ‘diary of a mad housewife’ a second time.

    • Norrth

      I swear that just the other day I was thinking that should be the title for this series of shows. it fits better than Real Housewives.

    • RonnieIsBack

      LMAO

  • WestCoastFeed

    If it weren’t for Sonja, I’d give up on these housewives. Carole just makes herself look worse with each episode.

    • RonnieIsBack

      Yes Carole does…she should have never returned for another season..

      • Thank you! Glad it’s just not me who thinks this about her. Carole thinks she’s way too cool for school. Her pompousness irks me.

  • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

    I think Aviva is kind of creepy in a SWF way. I would be afraid to have her in my life–she’s takes Ramoaner’s CRAY CRAY eyes to a brand new level.

    I felt so bad for Heather’s little boy! I can’t say anything bad about her–not one word. I can’t imagine having a child struggling with so many concurrent illnesses.

    Sonja is one tired old embarrassing HO with her TEEF falling out, her cottage cheese ass a sagging (dodn’t show it!) and just the desperation REEKING out of every pore.

    Still can’t stand Ramoaner–fuck–I’d need to drink a bottle of her wine just to put up with her.

    The new chick is too dumb for my taste.

    That is all. Hi everyone!

    • Hi Heels!

      LMAO @ “Sonja is one tired old embarrassing HO with her TEEF falling out, her cottage cheese ass a sagging (dodn’t show it!) and just the desperation REEKING out of every pore.”<—-Poor broke down Lady Morgan. The 1990's Mercedes is broke down, no hot water, TEEF falling out…PO THANG!

      • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

        It’s just amazing that she pissed away all that money her husband left her in the divorce. She was a multi-millionaire but thought she would be a good film producer (something she had never done) so she lost every cent because she didn’t know what the hell she was doing. These Ho’s never cease to amaze me!

        Nice to see you! I have to come around more often!

        • Sonja was certainly liquored up, all that fast talking and prancing. I imagine her life is difficult and her bestie, Ramona, just pushed the knife in further with her comments. And Ramona is right; Sonja has too many businesses, and not a damn one is doing anything. Did you hear her say she’s had a catering company for three years? And we haven’t seen her run that business because why? What happened to the toaster oven and cookbook? And now she’s a caburlesque performer all over Europe? Those Europeans will be demanding their money back; they don’t have to pretend to like Sonja’s act, like her friends do. And now she has a shirt line at department stores?

          Always a pleasure to read your comments. And yes, you need to come around more often. ♥

          • 4theHighHeels_4theRawDeals

            She’s an alcoholic–at least that’s what I think. Maybe mixed in with some Adderall (to lose weight) and Xanax (to come down). She’s not thinking straight–and I believe there is a substance abuse related reason for that, possibly exacerbated by untreated depression.

            She needs to get someone to help her organize hawking her wares (although I am SO sick of these losers trying to write, sing, cook–BLECH!). Just be the good train-wreck you were hired to be and SHADDUP about your ‘new skin care line.’

            All I can see are Gretchen’s cheap plastic bags!

          • LMOA……BOOM!!!!

  • cutie pie

    so vivvy needed to make up to carole so badly…wonder when a copy of her ‘not yet released’ book made it into her bag.

  • RonnieIsBack

    I was laughing so hard at Ramona’s dog. He was like bish I don’t want to take stupid pictures with you..and I’m not smiling either. She really does need to mind her own business. Sonja is on meltdown mode…Ramona is always taking crazy and spazzing out and then trying to walk away..I love hos the new chick has been calling them all on the carpet…I couldn’t believe ADiva tellng her to STFU…I think this season all those heifas are on some serious chit.
    Sad about Heather’s son…I can see why she is super pissed about everything..including Carole/Beaver and her relentlessness over stupid bookgate. I feel there must be some truth to it…I always say a hit dog always bark…

    the fact that ADiva was able to secure a pre-copy…

  • Sara

    Wonderful recap Norrth … the Heather section esp.

    I’ve come to like Kristen – can imagine her getting irritating later on perhaps but so far I’m impressed by how direct and clear she is – and how well she deals with the tons of condescension Ramona (and others) toss her way.

    • Norrth

      I like Kristen too. I know she’s friends with Heather but I hope she doesn’t end up on a “side” because she’s the one I can see keeping them all together. Kristen is lighthearted fun most of the time.