Real Housewives of New York Recap: ‘Everybody Thinks We’re Drag Queens’ [Episode 5]

Posted on Apr 10 2014 - 9:38am by Nancy

 

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This week on The Real Housewives of New York picks up at LuAnn’s Hamptons BBQ from hell with gangtsa boo Heather and Amanda Sanders (Image Consultant) bickering back and forth. Heather’s had enough of the new girl (Amanda Sanders) interjecting and threats of decking. Heather says, if you’re going to deck me at least stand up straight. Amanda, please don’t deck Heather, her honker is large enough. Heather didn’t think Amanda made a great first impression — and apparently neither did Carole. So Heather appointed herself “behavioral” police and will school Amanda on etiquette. Anyone else see the irony here? When Amanda tried to interject into her argument with Aviva, Carole gave her a side-eye beneath that fedora and simply said she didn’t know her. LuAnn was so happy at the bar, all she wants to do is eat her cake and be left alone from this Amanda Sanders business?

Shockingly — this BookGate issue is still not resolved and the lines have been drawn in the sand . Aviva tries to smooth things over with a  “well wisher toast” but it goes over less-than-perfectly,  “Women with a story to tell putting pen to paper….women supporting other women.” Heather can’t help but get involved in a fight that’s not hers. It’s at this point that gangsta boo Heather broke out her “Bad Boy Records” dictionary. You can’t tell Heather “anything mother f—er.” Heather didn’t respond to Aviva’s question of if she learned it in prison or if she learned it from P.Diddy. Wherever it came from, the night disbanded pretty quickly after, and everyone left what Amanda affectionately referred to as “crazyville.”

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The next morning, Sonja assembled the ladies for a much calmer brunch, but apparently the food was a little too crunchy and she popped her tooth out. Thankfully Harry wasn’t around to see such antics, but a helpful party guest was on hand to recommend Polident (plus a legion of interns to reinsert the tooth). Lady Morgan is going through a financial strain and is being held together by free dinners, borrowed homes, Polident and band-aids. The old Mercedes needs a complete overhaul but she can’t afford it. Sonja cuts straight to the “tooth” with Aviva and let’s her know the girls just aren’t feeling her because of the St. Barts incident. So we get to the heart of the matter with Heather and Carole’s beef. An argument that took place last season that had nothing to do with them. Geez!!

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Back in Manhattan, Carole has been crowned queen of the Mermaid Parade (an honor more illustrious than her Emmy). But what’s a mermaid without some stylish scales, so she asks her new BFF, Heather and Kristen to help her costume shop. And to my surprise, BookGate was the hot topic at mermaid couture shopping as well — even the clerk couldn’t help but weigh in on who he was siding with. Heather says she’s over Aviva’s “antics,” and she’ll break out the language again if need be. Such a classy mother and wife!

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Sonja tries to help Aviva relax with a “light laser” work but no amount of face masks can stop them from talking about BookGate. Sonja is shocked that Carole is dropping Aviva as a BFF and that Heather has gone full “guardian dog” about the whole situation. She’s not alone, I’m also shocked that Heather and Carole reasoning for not liking Aviva.

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Aviva decides to have a drama-free day of arts and crafts with her kids. As long as no one paints a picture of a ghostwriter, this should be fine. Aviva discuss with her hubby that her childhood friend Becky has reached out to her. Becky is the friend Aviva was playing with when her leg-losing accident occurred. And so Aviva and Reid decide to reconnect with Becky by going back to the barn where it all happened to try to get some closure. The next day, Reid and Aviva are off to revisit the moment Aviva’s life changed. This is a chance for her to set herself — and Becky free.

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Meanwhile, Heather, Carole, Kristen and Sonja make the trek to Coney Island to the Mermaid Parade. After some confusion between high schoolers and drag queens, the ladies finally end up on the float they prefer (drag queens with alcohol). That’s about the time they started to worry that perhaps the crowd thought they were drag queens. Sonja had a tough time making it to the parade on time (she lost another tooth), but eventually she made it — and nearly poked LuAnn’s eye out in the process. Besides her royal duties, Carole took some time to pen an ode to the Mermaid Sisterhood for her fellow Housewives. Another chess move to get the ladies on her side.

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Aviva and Reid arrive at the farm. Becky welcomes them to her house with open arms, but going back to the day in question is extremely painful but Aviva wants Becky to let that burden go. It’s not her fault. Aviva wants Becky to know that she saved her life — so no hard feelings!  Then Aviva confronts all her demons by going right into the barn — and standing on the very spot where it all happened. Aviva can’t believe this “little mother f—er” did this to her. After letting it rip, Aviva feels great. She’s not crumbling in the face of those fears. Good for Aviva!

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[Photo Credit: Bravo]

 

 

 

About the Author

Nancy loves to multi-task as a writer, she's an actress and online radio host. She received a B.S. in Mass Communications from LSU. She's married and the proud mom of 2 German Shepherds.

  • TartLemon

    I’m sooooo bored with Aviva’s storyline. There comes a point where she has to move past it. Aviva will never get over it, but MOVE ON. And the eyelash flutter thing she does is grating.

    Heather’s entertaining as hell. Her dynamic with Carole is the reason I watch. Adore that duo.

    • twifan2

      Hi Hi Tart! 🙂
      Aviva will move on-sooner than later. 🙂
      I actually like watching Sonja & her antics. Felt bad for her tooth prob. 😀
      That Mermaid parade was FUNNY! :’D But, why is Carole attempting to get the housewives to bond?! Won’t last long. :/

    • WestCoastFeed

      Other viewers may be like me, new to viewing this cast. Aviva’s story line is new to me and I enjoyed seeing her face the fears of the past and deal with them.

      • I’m with you West

      • Birdie11

        That was healthy…but believe me West, if you had watched last season, you would have been SICK to death of hearing about her fears. She is less annoying this season because she’s facing them instead of endlessly lamenting about them.

    • Hi Tart…my fav is the Sonja and Ramona duo especially when its turtle time

  • italiano bambino

    Watching the Intern putting back the tooth on Pirojorna Was a WTF moment. YUCK!. Heather is pissing me off. Let Caroline deal with aviva.

    PS amanda talks alot of shit. shes the Kim G of NY lol

    • WestCoastFeed

      amanda blogs on her own website and says that when these first episodes were filmed production hadn’t decided whether to use her or use Kristen as the new housewife. And that Heather was trying to make sure it would not be Amanda. As far as I am concerned, they should have dumped Heather. She’s more foul-mouthed than Brandi.

      • I wish they took Amanda over Kristen. Kristen is boring and plays the middle too much. I turn the channel when she and her weird greasy hubby are on.

        • RonnieIsBack

          Hey Doc, I agree. Amanda would have been hialrious!!! first with she and Sonja fighting over tired Harry and then her droopy boobs and drunken stumbles..and she is not afraid to get in the mix. Kristen…needs to go…

          • Hey Ronnie!! That’s what I’m saying. She’s not afraid to jump in the fray and stir shit up. Kristen is boring as heck. She serves no purpose.

            Happy Friday!

    • RonnieIsBack

      That nasty tooth matter was just too trashy honey boo boo child for me..Sonja has hit a new low….and her teeth are constantly breaking….I was like WTF does she even go to the dentist twice a year…yuk mouth…

  • WestCoastFeed

    With Brandi showing up next week, maybe she and Heather can get together and get all the f-bombs out of their systems in some dark corner away from cameras and microphones, so we will never have to listen to them again.

    • RonnieIsBack

      I am not looking forward to that episode with she and SourLemons Yolo…it will be a bunch of bullchit…I am sure I will fast forward thru it….

      • Birdie11

        I am so annoyed that we have to look and and listen to those two again…and Bravo thinks we WANT to…BLECH!! FF is right.

  • WestCoastFeed

    Thanks for the excellent recap, Nancy. I think I saw a tweet from Aviva a couple of days ago saying that this episode is the final one for “bookgate.” I do hope that is true.

  • WestCoastFeed

    After making a very bad impression on me to begin with. Carole did redeem herself somewhat when she was so good humored over the Master of Ceremonies butchering her name.

  • Birdie11

    Heather as a gangsta thug was hilarious…and seemed inappropriate for business owner who needs to keep client relationships. I need brain bleach to get the vision of Luann as a drag mermaid out of my head. Kristen is a big snooze, we need Ramona back pronto! I feel bad for Sonja..she is falling apart, and struggling so hard to continue the charade of being glam. I can’t tell is she’s completely delusional, or just happy staying in her land of make believe.

    • Heather was totally inappropriate for a business owner!

  • RonnieIsBack

    What I love about LuAnn is that she was like yall bishes ain’t gotta go home but yall gotta get the hell outta my Owned Hampton House….and take some cake with you.
    I love her!!!